Trust and Faith
by infinite shadow
Summary: Dean's on his first hunt with his father and another hunter named Jesse. Dean and Jesse learn to trust each other and Dean has to have faith in himself to survive. Sam needs to have faith that his brother and father will return. Wee!Winchester fic.
1. Day 1 December 5th

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing recognizable in the following story. But I may lay claim to anything not recognizable.

Author's note: Ok this was supposed to start yesterday. But due to some technical difficulties with my internet connection I didn't quite make it. The goal here is to post one chapter per day. I'm several chapers ahead of myself so we'll see how this goes. Day 2 is also ready and will be posted as soon as this goes through. This is much longer than my previous story. I hope you enjoy. Thanks to lynxlan for the beta.

Oh and I'm sure I've used a quote from another author in this story. I can't remember now where I saw it but thank you for the rifle comment as it fit quiet nicely. When I figure it out I'll post a proper thanks.

And lastly to be clear Dean's 9 and Sammy's 5.

Feed the need and review.

Trust and Faith

by infinite shadow

**Day 1 December 5**

"Pastor Jim! Pastor Jim!" Sammy yelled at the top of his lungs as he burst into the kitchen.

"Remember to use your inside voice Sammy," Dean warned as he came in behind him and closed the door.

Pastor Jim came into the kitchen wearing jeans and t-shirt. "Hey guys. About time you two came in. I thought we were going to have to dig you out of the snow and then defrost you."

Sammy giggled. "Dean and I made a snow fort! Come and see!" The boy said as he grabbed the cleric's hand and tried to pull him towards the door.

"Hey Sammy you're hands are very cold. Would you like some hot chocolate before I go outside with you?" Jim suggested as he looked down at the red weather chapped hands.

"Really? Dean too?" Sammy asked.

"I don't know Sammy," Dean said looking like he was giving it serious consideration. He pulled off his jacket and gloves.

Sammy let go of the pastor's hand and rushed over to his brother. "C'mon Dean! Hot chocolate is our favourite hot drink! You know you want it!" He said with a huge grin on his face.

Dean shook his head. "Yeah but you're already very hyper. Just think what adding more chocolate will do to you."

Sammy just stood there grinning up at his brother. "We could build another fort and and and a snow man! No a whole snow family!" he all but shouted.

"Ok! Ok! Sammy geez take it down a notch will ya?" Dean said trying to be stern but was smiling anyway. "Two hot chocolates please Pastor Jim."

"Woohoo!" Sammy yelled.

Dean shook his head and removed his brother's scarf then unzipped his jacket. He started to remove his jacket when he noticed Sammy's raw hands.

"Sammy what happened to your gloves?" Dean asked concerned. He put the two small hands between his own and rubbed them gently to warm them up.

"Outside. I took 'em off. They made it too hard to put the snow fort together," Sammy said pulling his hands out of his brother's. "It's ok. They don't hurt."

Dean sighed and helped his little brother take off his jacket and boots. He looked over to where the pastor was busily putting together the fixings for the hot drink. "Pastor Jim?"

The man turned. "Yes?"

"Um Sammy's hands are kinda raw. Do you have something we can put on them?" Dean asked softly watching Sammy rush over to pet Jim's sheltie Angel.

Jim plugged in the kettle and moved over to the boy. Dean stood there still in his wet jacket focused on his little brother playing with the dog.

"Hey they're just a little chapped. I've got some hand cream that will look after it quite nicely," he said softly to the boy then ruffled his damp hair. "Get out of those wet things and then help me mop up the water on the floor, ok?"

Dean nodded and quickly shucked his outdoor clothing. He picked up a dish cloth and made quick work of cleaning up the water off the floor. He looked over to check on his brother as Angel began to bark. Sammy laughed and he could hear Jim pouring water into the mugs. He sat back against the cupboard doors soaking in warmth emanating from the room then quickly stood up as John walked into the room.

"Daddy! Dean and I made a snow fort! Wanna see it?" Sammy said rushing over to his Dad.

"Maybe later tiger," he said as he scooped up his youngest child. "Hey you're kinda cold."

"We've got the cure for that coming right up," Jim said as he put two cups of hot chocolate onto the table.

Sammy tried to squirm out of his Dad's grasp when John noticed the raw hands.

"Sammy what happened to your hands?" he asked.

"Took off my mittens. They made it too hard to make the snow fort," Sammy complained and squirmed harder to get down.

John nodded and carried him over to the table. He put the boy down into the chair and immediately the boy started to swing his legs between the rungs of the chair. As he sat down next to him John accepted the cup of coffee Jim placed down in front of him.

Sammy picked up the mug with both hands and slurped happily at the warm treat.

"Sammy don't slurp," Dean admonished softly as he watched his brother lick the chocolate moustache from his upper lip. He sat across from Sammy and Jim sat next to him at the table.

"Ok," Sammy said as he wiped his face on the back of his sleeve.

Dean sighed quietly and smiled at his brother slightly. He shook his head slightly and made a mental note to do some laundry after Sammy went to bed.

"So you don't think it's important for Sammy's hands to stay covered while playing in the snow?" John asked casually pinning his oldest with a hard stare.

"I didn't see him take them off sir," Dean said sitting back in his chair leaving the sweet warm treat on the table. He looked back at his father and would not let himself look away from the challenging look. Shivering slightly he wished he could reach out for the hot chocolate but knew he wouldn't until his father let this go.

Jim put a hand on Dean's shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. "Sammy's old enough to know that he needs to keep his mittens on while playing outside in this weather. Don't you Sammy?"

Sammy had been looking back and forth between his Dad and brother. "Yes sir."

"Dean is responsible for him when I'm not around," John said.

Jim noticed that the older boy hadn't touched his hot chocolate and he inched it closer to him. He could tell the young man was cold from being outside by the way his hands were trembling slightly on his thighs.

"Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold," Jim said gently and after a long pause he decided to change the subject. "Do you think now would be a good time to tell them?"

John sighed and looked down into his coffee but didn't say anything.

"Tell us what Daddy?" Sammy asked then took another sip of his hot chocolate.

"Good a time as any I suppose," John said softly.

Dean leaned forward and wrapped his hand around the warm mug. He smiled slightly anticipating the rich hot drink. He blew slightly on the drink before he took a long drink of the delicious liquid.

"Dean you're coming with me on the next hunt," John said softly.

Dean eyes widened in shock and he choked on the hot chocolate. Jim thumped him on his back allowing his throat to open up and the boy sucked down a breath before coughing some more.

"Me too?" Sammy asked his face earnest. Then he looked back at his brother.

Dean sat there looking at his father. His eyes were tearing as he fought the sensation to cough. Pastor Jim was rubbing his back slightly helping him relax from the coughing fit.

"Sammy you're too young to join us. But Dean's old enough and mature enough to join us on this hunt," John said. "He's a good shot and I think he's ready."

"But who will stay wif me?" Sammy asked wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve again.

"You will stay here with Pastor Jim. You will mind your manners and do what he asks," John said sharply.

Sammy looked like he was about to argue but the tone of his father's voice stopped him. He'd heard it before and talking back usually got him laps around whatever motel they were staying in. "Yes sir," Sammy said softly as he sat back in the chair his hot chocolate immediately forgotten.

John stood up grabbing his coffee mug. "Another hunter named Jesse will be here tomorrow. He will be going with us. We'll review the plan tomorrow."

Dean watched as his father left the room and looked over at pastor Jim with wide eyes. He didn't know if he was excited or if he wanted to throw up.

"You'll do great son. I've seen you shoot. You've got amazing aim and snap reflexes. Besides someone's gotta watch your daddy's back. Just do what he says and it will be ok. All right?" Jim said.

"Yes sir," Dean said then looked over at his brother who was actually sitting still with a look of surprise and apprehension on his face.

"Now then. If you're finished with your hot chocolate why don't you guys show me this fort you made?" Jim suggested.

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Two hours later after showing Jim the rather large snow fort, three Snowmen and a snowball fight later the three stumbled back into the house laughing.

"I can't believe you snuck up on me like that young man," Jim complained good naturedly.

"You were focused on getting Sammy after he hit you with a snowball. Piece of cake," Dean shrugged.

"Yeah but the face wash was awesome!" Sammy said laughing.

"It's all in the timing little brother," Dean said laughing at the put on indignant look on the preacher's face.

"That's the last time I hold back in a fight with you two," Jim said.

"Hey we're Winchesters. Just like the rifle and twice as deadly," Dean said with a smirk.

Sammy laughed as he removed his mittens and handed them to his brother.

"That's right son. You had some great moves out there," John said.

The group sobered as they saw the man standing there.

"Did you see me get Pastor Jim Daddy?" Sammy asked.

"I sure did kiddo. Nice shot. Looks like your big brother and I will be showing you how to handle a gun soon," John said. "It's late. You two should be getting ready for bed."

"Yes sir," Dean said helping his brother out of his outer wear. Then he quickly got out of his own and took his brother upstairs.

The men were quiet for a few minutes after the boys left the kitchen.

"John not that I want to sound like I'm second guessing you, but Dean's only nine years old. He's just a child," Jim said softly.

John sighed. "I know he's just a child but I don't have a choice. Joshua is out he's trying to get back with Anna. Matt's out because he's helping Josh and I can't find of Caleb. Bobby, Nate and Drew are already working cases and I was lucky to get Jesse. Look we can protect Dean but we need a third hand on this. I would've asked you to help out but it's Christmas. You're gearing up for your busiest time of the year."

John stopped as Jim chuckled.

"What?" John asked.

Jim just shook his head slightly. "Between you and Caleb it's always busy."

John snorted. "Yeah I guess you could say that," he said looking down at his shoes.

"I'm not saying that you can't protect him. John I know you'd do anything for those kids. But that's just it. No matter how mature he is or how great his shots are or how well he looks after Sammy the truth is that he's just a child doing anything and everything to get the respect of his father," Jim said as gently as he could. The last thing he wanted to do was make the man mad and have him take both boys on the trek with him.

"Damnit I know he's just a kid. Jim if you have any other suggestions I'm open to them," John said frustrated. "I've gone through this several times in my head. There are so many ways this can go south with just Jesse and myself. A third person, no matter what his age is, will give us a better chance of getting out alive. I wish I could have found another hunter. I do. But I couldn't find anyone I trusted to watch our backs."

Jim nodded and stepped over to his friend. He gently placed his hand on the hunter's shoulder. "Then may God go with you," Jim said softly then walked out of the room.

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Dean leaned back and squeezed his eyes shut as Sammy splashed the water at him again.

"C'mon Sammy. Knock it off. I'm soaked enough," Dean complained as he tried to lather up his brother's hair.

"Ok," Sammy said and sat still for exactly five seconds before reaching for the plastic tug boat and moved it around the water making motor sounds.

"Close your eyes. I'm going to rinse your hair," Dean warned.

Sammy stilled for a moment as the water ran over his head. He waited patiently until he felt the flannel gently wipe around his eyes.

"Ok. That's it. Stand up," Dean said getting up off his knees where he'd been kneeling by the tub.

Sammy did one more run around the tub with the boat and then stood up. He opened his arms and let his brother lift him out of the tub. He shivered slightly before Dean wrapped him up in a towel and began to dry him off.

"Do you want to go?" Sammy asked looking up at his brother with big eyes.

Dean looked down at him. "Yeah I do Sammy."

"Then I wanna go too," Sammy said. "I don't want to be here without you."

Dean half smiled at him. "You love it here. You have fun with Pastor Jim and Angel. 'Sides Dad needs me on this one."

"But you always look after me," Sammy protested.

"Not always Sammy. Dad looks after you too," Dean admonished gently as he finished drying him off and helped him into his pyjamas.

They walked into the room they shared while staying at Pastor Jims.

Sammy got onto the bed and jumped on it a few times before Dean could stop him. His older brother got him to lie down and pulled the covers over him. Sammy's fingers played with the cover while Dean got a book off the shelf.

Dean sat up beside him and Sammy snuggled into him. "I don't like this book."

Dean looked down at him. "I haven't even started to read it yet. How would you know you don't like it?"

Sammy didn't answer.

Dean sighed. He hated it when his brother pouted. It was almost as bad as the puppy dog eyes that could get him almost anything.

"Look Sammy I know you want me to stay with you, but once in a while Dad needs me to look after him. It will only be for a few days," Dean said softly holding the young boy close to him.

Sammy was quiet but looked up at his older brother. "A couple of days?"

Dean nodded. "While I'm gone you can help Pastor Jim at the church and you can help him look after Angel. Ok?"

Sammy pursed his lips together and looked away for a moment. He looked back up at Dean. "Ok I guess."

Dean smiled down at him. "Now can I read you the story?"

Sammy nodded.


	2. Day 2 December 6th

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing recognizable in the following story. But I may lay claim to anything not recognizable and Jesse.

Author's note: Thanks to lynxlan for the beta. Day 3 will be up tomorrow.

**Trust and Faith**

**by infinite shadow**

**Day 2 December 6**

Dean was washing and handing soapy dishes to Sammy to dry. They were just about done cleaning up from lunch when a large man in a leather jacket, dark sunglasses, biker boots and torn jeans opened the kitchen door and strode into the room.

"Hey you kids seen a preacher man around here?" he asked gruffly.

Dean shoved his little brother behind him.

"Daddy!" Sammy bellowed.

The man took a step forward and Dean picked up a large dirty kitchen knife off the counter. He held it out in front of him pointing it directly at the intruder.

"Get back," Dean yelled.

Angel came running into the room barking. The little dog stopped in front of the boys baring her teeth and growling fiercely.

"What's all the noise in here?" John demanded as he stormed into the kitchen and took in the scene around him sighing as he saw the reason behind the commotion. "Jesse you always did know how to make an appearance. Dean put down that knife before you cut yourself. Sammy come here."

"You know him Dad?" Dean asked. One hand held the knife in front of him while the other held Sammy behind him.

"Of course he knows me," the man said taking a step closer.

"Hey!" Dean said holding the knife up slightly higher and stepping back effectively pinning Sammy between him and the wall. He let go of his little brother and moved into a full defensive stance.

"I wouldn't test him if I were you Jesse. He's got one hell of an aim and I can't do the job with just my son," John said dryly.

Jesse hesitated as he saw the protective look in the older boy's eyes turn feral. But instead of stopping he strode right up in front of the kid ignoring the dog who was nipping around his feet.

"Name's Jesse," he said putting a hand out in greeting. "Who are you runt? And who's the little guy behind you?"

Sammy whimpered quietly in fear and grabbed onto his brother's shirt. Dean tightened his hold on the knife.

"It's all right Dean. Put down the knife," John said as he leaned up against the kitchen counter. "Jesse step back before my son cuts your hand."

After a moment the older hunter realized that neither Jesse or his son would stand down. When he saw his oldest boy tense slightly as if getting ready to lunge John moved over to his son and deftly removed the knife from his hand. He moved around his son, put the knife into the sink and turned back to his boy.

"Jesse this is my son Dean. Let me give you a word of advice old friend. Never corner him especially when Sammy's around and when he has access to a weapon or you may lose whatever you stick out at him," John said as placed a calming hand on his son's shoulder then turned to his boy. "Dean this is Jesse the man we will be hunting with."

John squeezed Dean's shoulder hoping to get him to relax a little and let Sammy out from behind him.

Dean looked back and forth between the two men.

"Ah Jesse there you are. I was wondering when you were going to make it. Angel heel," Jim commanded and the dog fell silent by his side. "You've met the youngest Winchesters I take it?"

"Not yet Father. Still waiting on the runt here to shake my hand," Jesse said.

"I'm not a runt," Dean growled not liking this man one bit.

John sighed and Jesse laughed deep and loud.

"I like him John. Kid's got more spunk than you do," he said. "And you're little Sammy. Come on out little man. I'm not going to hurt you."

Sammy buried his face in brother's shirt and held on for dear life.

"Come now Jesse. Take off the dark glasses and jacket. You look like some biker dude and not the librarian I know you are," Jim said.

Jesse straightened up with a sigh. "You know how to take all my fun away, don't you preacher man."

"Just one of my many talents," Jim quipped.

"He's a librarian?" Dean said incredulously as he finally looked away from Jesse and up to his Dad.

"Yup. Still thinks he's a bad ass though," John said winking at his son.

"Language," Jim admonished.

Dean snickered and looked at Pastor Jim. "You trust him?" He asked.

"With my life," Jim said seriously.

Dean looked up at his father who nodded in agreement. It was enough for Dean. If they trusted him, then bad assed librarian or not, he was safe for Sammy to be around.

"C'mon Sammy it's all right," he said softly pulling his younger brother out from behind him.

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Dean glanced out the window as movement caught his eye. Sammy was still out there throwing snowballs for the little dog to chase. Somehow the kid and the dog would be happy doing that for hours. Confident that the mitts were still on his hands he turned his attention back to the task at hand and looked at the print outs, maps and hand written notes spread out all over Pastor Jim's dining room table. The men were still arguing like they had over the last hour.

"No John. It's not that difficult. Look we drive to this location here in my truck," Jesse said as he pointed to a spot on the map. "We walk in several miles and camp overnight just inside the tree line. Then we start the hike up the mountain, take out the beast and head home. Piece of cake. No need to take the runt with us."

Dean glared at the reed like librarian across the table from him. He'd already seen five weaknesses the man had which meant he knew five ways to take the man down without breaking a sweat. A hand on his shoulder made him take a deep breath to calm himself. Pastor Jim could always read how he was feeling. It was ok. He could wait to take the man down. All he needed was a second alone with the man and he'd never call him a runt again.

"First of all no job is a piece of cake," John said stiffly. "What about the climb? Where is your intel on the beast? I did not see any mountain gear or camping gear in that truck of yours. And my son is not a runt."

Jesse laughed. "Well you could at least try to get some meat and muscle on his frame John. Damn don't you feed your kids? And I'll have you know that there is a two man tent, sleeping bags, Colman stove, thermal blankets, climbing gear and a satellite phone in that truck. You just need to know where to look."

John sighed and ran a hand over his face. He didn't like it. Not one bit. Dean was too young and he had never faced an actual supernatural enemy before. He hadn't taught him survival methods in the icy wilderness before. There was too many ways this could turn bad or deadly.

"Look I know this job isn't an easy one and not one that your son should be starting out with. But thanks to our little meeting in the kitchen earlier, it looks like the runt can handle himself," Jesse said then sighed. "Look the job shouldn't take all that long. Maybe while we're out there we can throw in some winter survival training."

John nodded. He'd have to teach that to Dean sooner or later anyway. It didn't mean he had to like it.

"But know this kid," Jesse said his conversational tone turned tough and he glared down at the nine year old. "No one is going to hold your hand out there. You need to be able to hold your own. If something happens to me and your father you will be on your own. If we get hurt we'll be counting on you to get us back. Hunting's not easy, nothing is a cake walk and it sure as hell is going to get messy out there. Now I'll bet your daddy here hasn't told you anything about hunting."

"Jesse," Jim said trying to cut off the man's tirade as he felt Dean bristle under the man's scrutiny.

"Hunting is not for the weak or timid. You will see things out there that you haven't imagined in your worst nightmare. You are part of a team. If you don't do your job odds are we will all die," Jesse said.

"That's enough!" John barked at him. "You don't know my son. You have no idea what he's capable of. You will show him the same respect that you show me."

"No I won't!" Jesse snapped and glared at John. "You've earned my trust and respect. Your son will have to earn it just like you did."

Dean angrily looked back and forth between the two men. You could have cut the tension in the room with a knife it was so thick.

"I can hold my own," Dean said icily.

"Good. You're going to have to runt," Jesse said softly and left the room.

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"All Right Sammy. Into bed," Dean said as he pulled back the covers.

Sammy stood there and looked at his big brother. "Daddy said you were going to be gone for eight days."

Dean sat down on the bed. "Yeah. So?"

Sammy looked at him as he shifted his weight from foot to foot slightly. "Eight whole days."

Dean suddenly realized that his smart little brother was still too young to really understand how short a time it was. It would seem like a life time to him. The nine year old looked around the room and smiled as he spotted the perfect way to explain.

"Come over here," he said walking over to the small desk in the room. Pastor Jim always had a small amount of art supplies on hand for Sammy. Dean took two pages of construction paper out of a pile and put them onto the desk.

"Do you remember how I showed you how old you are?" Dean asked.

Sammy smiled as he nodded and held up one hand with the fingers splayed open.

"That's right. Now hold up your other hand," Dean instructed.

Sammy put his one hand down and pulled up the other.

"Hold up both at the same time," Dean said and smiled when Sammy did. "How much was one hand?"

"Five," Sammy answered as if it was the dumbest question he ever heard then yawned.

"That's right. But did you know that two hands made ten?" Dean asked.

"No," Sammy said.

"Well it does," Dean said.

"How do you know?" Sammy asked looking up at his brother like he was trying to pull a trick on him.

"I'm older and wiser which means I'm always right," Dean said.

The younger boy studied him for a moment and seeing the sincerity in his brother nodded as he accepted the explanation.

"Put your hands on the paper," Dean instructed.

Sammy stepped forward and placed his hands carefully on the pages.

"Now don't move, ok Sammy? It's important," Dean said as he pulled out a black marker.

"Ok," Sammy said and watched as his brother carefully drew around his fingers. When Sammy pulled his hands back there was no ink on them at all.

Dean looked down at his handy work of two traced hands and on the last pinky finger he wrote Daddy and Dean home.

"So Dad said eight sleeps, right? So the first day you wake up and I'm not here you colour in this finger here," he said pointing at the first little pinky. "Colour one finger for each day and when you get to here Dad and I will be home."

"That's eight sleeps?" the little boy asked.

"Well actually it's ten. Two extra days just in case the job is a little tougher than Dad expects it to be and we are delayed," Dean said. "Not so many, right?"

Sammy shook his head. "That's lots."

"C'mon Sammy. It won't be so bad. You'll be so busy helping Pastor Jim you won't even notice I'm gone," Dean said lightly.

"I'll know," Sammy said softly with tears building in his eyes.

"I have to go Sammy. Dad needs me," Dean said as he pulled his little brother into a hug. He rubbed his back for a moment. "Now let's get you into bed and read you a story, ok?"

Sammy nodded into his chest. Dean got Sammy settled and pulled a book off the shelf. One of Sammy's favourites. T'was The Night Before Christmas. Dean got up onto the bed, let Sammy snuggle up against him and opened the big picture book. He got through the entire book and Sammy was struggling to stay awake. Dean put the book down and pulled the covers up around his little brother.

"I'll read this story to you again when I get back ok," Dean said.

"Promise?" Sam asked around a yawn as his eyes closed.

"I promise," Dean said softly.

"Wif all the voices?" Sammy asked sleepily.

Dean smiled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah with all the voices," he said softly.

Sammy nodded and was soon fast asleep.

Dean sat there watching his brother sleeping and wondered if he'd be able to keep the promise of ten sleeps.


	3. Day 3 December 7th

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable in the following story. Although I'll lay claim to Jesse.

Author's note: thanks to lynxlan for the beta. Please feed the need and review. I'll take the good, bad and the fugly.

Dean's 9 and Sammy's 5

**Trust and Faith**

**by infinte shadow**

**Day 3 December 7**

Sam stood in the drive way next to his brother in the early morning cold. It had snowed again that night and Angel was busy sniffing around the yard. Sam leaned into his brother pressing his cold face into his older brother's chest. They watched as their father did a last minute check on their supplies in the back of the pickup. Then he turned to his youngest and picked him up.

"You be good tiger, you hear me? Do whatever Jim here tells you do to," John said and at his little boys tearful nod he gave him a quick hug and put him down. He gazed down at the tearful puppy dog eyes and rested his hand on Sammy's head. "We'll be back before Christmas Sammy. I promise."

John walked over to Jim. "If you don't hear from us by the 17th call Joshua. He knows the coordinates we're heading to," John paused and continued softly. "If something happens my will is on the bed."

"Nothing's going to happen. You've fought tougher things than this," Jim said with a smile. "Besides against my better judgement I put a good word in for you with my boss."

John smiled. "Thanks," he said as he shook the pastor's hand.

Jesse watched the farewells from the driver's side of the truck. He'd never had this. There wasn't anyone waiting for him when the hunt was over. His life had been about hunting the evil that stalked the world with Keith. Now he picked up jobs here and there. Dangerous, not so dangerous, and definitely alone. Until he got a call from Jim. He was the last man in the world that he completely trusted and when he asked for help on this job he found himself saying yes instead of the usual adamant no. When he found out the job was to help out John he didn't feel so freaked out about saying yes.

But neither one of them mentioned that the little boy was going to be with them. No matter how tough Dean thought he was, or how deadly his father thought he was, Dean was just far too young for this. Period. End of discussion. For anyone but John Winchester.

John and his screwed up crusade against the darkness that roamed the earth. He knew without a doubt that John was a good man, but even good men fell in battle. Men better than them. Men like Keith.

"Hey," John said breaking the other man out of his musings.

Jesse blinked and looked at him slightly startled. John hadn't yelled at him or even raised his voice but his tone was commanding and concerned. Almost like Keith's could be. He cleared his throat. "Yeah?"

"You gonna show me where you've stashed all your tools, supplies, weapons and whatever else you have hidden in here?" John asked.

"Right," Jesse said and moved to open the back of the truck.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay? I promise to be good," Sam whispered to Dean. "I'll keep my mittens on and everything. I promise."

Dean smiled at him. "I gotta go Sammy. I gotta protect Dad. We'll be back as soon as we can. No more than ten sleeps. Show me ten."

Sam held up two hands lethargically.

"That's right. And what are you going to do every morning starting tomorrow?" Dean asked.

"Colour a finger," Sam said softly.

"That's right. Now you'll listen to Pastor Jim and be a big boy, right?" Dean said.

Sam nodded as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"It's ok Sammy. We'll be back soon," Dean said pulling him into a tight hug.

"Don't go," he whispered to his brother.

"I have to," Dean whispered back against the lump in his throat.

"Dean we got to get moving," John said.

Dean pulled back from his brother. "Be good little brother," he said brushing away the tears on Sammy cheeks swallowing hard to keep his own from showing.

Jim stepped up behind the youngest Winchester and put his hands on his shoulders. "We're going to be just fine. Right Sam?"

Sam shook his head no and Jim chuckled. "Off you go Dean. I'll take good care of him."

Dean nodded and swallowed heavily again. He got into the back of the truck and sat up on his knees to look out the back window. The men got into the truck and the engine roared to life. Dean could see Sam was crying harder now and waving at him. He waved to his little brother until they turned out of the driveway. Long after his little brother was gone from view Dean could still see his tear stained face.

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Pastor Jim came out of his study after doing some work on his upcoming sermon. He found Sam on the couch petting Angel while staring out the window at the gently falling snow.

"Hey Sammy," he greeted.

Sam turned and looked at him and then looked back outside.

"Want to add onto the snow fort of yours?" Jim asked.

Sam shook his head not looking at the cleric.

"Well then Angel needs to go for her walk," he said.

Sam turned to look at him and shook his head no again.

"Nope we're all going. Into the kitchen to get your jacket on young man," Jim said.

Sam sighed heavily and then made his way off the couch and then into the kitchen. Slowly he put on his boots and then his jacket. Jim knelt in front of him to help him do it up but Sam backed away from him and tried to do it himself for a few minutes.

"Can I help you with that Sam?" Jim asked gently.

Sam let his arms fall to his sides and stepped forward to let the man do up his jacket. Then he let Jim put on his scarf and his mittens.

"All right looks like we're set," Jim said then looked over to where Angel was sitting by the door only to find that she'd wandered off. "Where'd she go?"

Sam smiled. "Angel," he called out.

The dog came rushing into the room with the leash in her mouth.

"OK. Let's go," Jim said as he stood up and leaned over the dog. He clipped the leash to her collar and headed outside. He locked the door behind him and handed Sam the leash. They headed out into the cold afternoon.

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Jesse's fingers were clenched so tightly around the steering wheel they were white. The closer they got to their destination the more tense he got. He didn't want to do this, not with a child tagging along. He did research alone. He hunted alone. He did everything alone since he lost Keith. He did not do anything with a group. It took far too much trust and right now he wasn't sure he trusted a man who brought a nine year old on a hunt.

John watched the scenery fly by without seeing it. He was concentrating on the plan seeing all the holes in it and where everything could go wrong. Which was at every turn. Almost a day hike up into territory that they were unfamiliar with. Climb a mountain. Kill a beast that was straight out of Sammy's favourite holiday special. Get out alive. Should be easy. There was no such thing as easy. Thinking a job was easy was a one way ticket to death.

God what was he thinking bringing his son along on this hunt. Dean was a great shot, had snap reflexes and incredible instincts. But Jim and Jesse were right. He was just a child. A child who had far too much responsibility on his young shoulders. And now he would be hunting with his deranged old man. God what was he thinking?

The quiet in the cab of the truck was unsettling to Dean and it grated on his raw nerves. Dad and Jesse hadn't spoken one word since leaving Pastor Jim's earlier that day. He'd tried to ask his Dad a question an hour ago and was met with silence. He could see Jesse's white knuckles gripping the steering wheel from where he sat and he wondered if he was the cause of the man's tension. His father had shut him and Jesse out as soon as he'd gotten into the truck. It was just far too quiet.

Dean sighed quietly as he watched the snow covered trees and dirty snow piled at the side of the road fly by. He didn't want to think about how he left his little brother behind, even though he knew Sammy was safe, he's not the one keeping him safe which had been pretty much his job up until now. He didn't want to think about how scared he is that he's going to screw this up somehow and get the men sitting in front of him hurt or worse. He didn't want to think about just how plain terrified he is of doing this job. He always thought that his first job would be just him and his father, never thought he'd be just a third hand as he'd heard his father put it yesterday.

This job was going to be bad. He knew it wasn't going to be easy by the way the adults had argued about it. But for some reason he always thought his first real hunt would be just him and his Dad. Something like a salt and burn, or an exorcism or even a poltergeist. The abominable snow monster never once came to mind. Not once had he thought he'd be hunting Rudolf's, Cornelius Fudge's and the Elf Dentist's old nemesis.

Dean sighed again and concentrated on blanking his mind as the scenery continued to fly by. The cab of the truck was oppressively warm but Dean's small hands were shaking. He shoved them into his jacket pockets hoping that neither man sitting in front of him had seen them shake. He didn't want them to think that he's too scared to do what needs to be done. It's just first time nerves. That's all. He's sure of it.

He let his mind wander back to his little brother. He wondered what he's doing if he's moping around the house or if he's letting himself have any fun. The only thing he knew for sure is that he won't be having any fun. He'll be surprised if he doesn't throw up all over his shoes by the time this is all over.

"Ease up Jesse," John said softly. "Pull off up here. We'll get some gas and lunch before heading out again."

"Fine," Jesse said as he pulled into a gas station that had a diner next to it. "You fill it up. I'll get us a table."

John got out of the truck and began to fill the truck with gas. He'd left his door open expecting Dean to make his way out. He could see Dean sitting in the back seat looking like he was a million miles away. Shaking his head he left the pump to fill the truck and moved around to the passenger side of the truck.

"Dean?" he said as he leaned inside the truck. When he got no response he sighed heavily. This was such a bad idea. "Dean!"

The sound of his father's loud voice snapped Dean's attention away from his musings and he looked up to see his father watching him. He realized they'd stopped at a gas station and Jesse was already out of the truck.

Dean looked up and saw his Dad was yelling at him to get his attention.

"Yes sir?" Dean asked.

John smiled at him. "I asked you if you needed to go or if you wanted lunch from the store. You feeling ok kiddo?"

"I'm fine. I'll come out," Dean said as he scrambled out of the truck. He looked around and saw that Jesse wasn't around.

"Dean it's ok if you're scared. In fact I'd be surprised if you weren't. I was terrified when I did my first job and I was a lot older than you are now," John said softly. "I trust in you boy. I know you can do this."

Dean nodded. "But Jesse doesn't," he said quietly.

John nodded. "Jesse used to hunt with another man. Keith was his brother and they were as close as you and Sammy are. Their parents were killed when they were young children. Jesse remembers vaguely what happened but Keith didn't. When Jim approached them to be hunters Jesse jumped at the chance but Keith held back. He was always so sure that Jesse's tale of his parents being killed by the thing in his closet was just a story. Jim showed him evidence of the truth. Took him on an actual hunt. Jim and Jesse convinced Keith that there are evil things that stalk the earth killing the innocent.

"Keith turned out to be a natural hunter, much like his older brother Jesse. They hunted together for years until one day Keith didn't make it out alive from a hunt. No one knows how or why because Jesse refuses to talk about it. He pulled away from the hunter community, and anyone else he knew except for Jim. For some reason he would respond to Jim. Do the things that he asked of him, except hunt with others.

"For some reason he agreed to do this hunt. I don't know why but I'm glad he's here and I trust him to watch our backs," John sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "Dean things can go wrong in a hunt. I've been lucky up until now, but I've hunted alone and done smaller jobs. This one with it's location and the time of year well it's just harder that's all. Do you understand what I'm telling you son?" John asked.

"Yes sir. I'll give you everything I have. I won't let you down. We will go back to Sammy," Dean said resolutely.

"Yes we will," John said smiling.

John finished filling up the truck and then he and Dean headed into the store. John paid the cashier for the gas and then they went to the diner.

After lunch they drove for the rest of the day with John and Jesse switching driving every few hours. As the day got later there were less and less cars on the road and hardly any towns or homes. They pulled off in a small town, got a few provisions and booked into the motel for the night.

Dean laid in the queen sized bed with his father snoring lightly beside him. Tomorrow he would be on his first hunt. He would finally be a hunter and not just going through training drills. He knew tomorrow his whole world would change.


	4. Day 4 December 8th

**Disclaimer:** As usual I don't own anything recognizable in the following story. That includes the Winchester family, Pastor Jim and the Peanut M&M's. I will lay claim to Jesse and Angel though.

**Author's note: **Just for the record I know absolutely nothing about Tai Chi. I took a night school course and after two sessions I kinda threw out my back. But I still think it's a great martial arts form, one that almost anyone can take part in. As soon as I find more time I intend to give it another try.

This chapter rambles just a little. But there will be action in the coming chapters. Promise.

Thank to lynxlan for the beta.

**Trust and Faith**

**by infinite shadow**

**Day 4 December 8**

Sammy rolled over and flung out an arm searching for something while he still slept. His arm landed on a pillow that had moved from the head of the bed to the middle during the night. The boy found himself suddenly awake and alone as he lay on the bed. At some point while he was sleeping he'd thrown off all the blankets and he was cold. He shifted up to a sitting position and blinked in the darkness. He listened to the silence hoping to figure out where his brother was as the grogginess of sleep fell away.

"Dean?" he whispered.

Then he remembered. His big brother wasn't here. He was off hunting somewhere with their Daddy. He sighed heavily and lay back down in the bed. He looked around in the darkness and wondered what kind of monster they would be facing. They wouldn't talk about it when he was around because Daddy said it would scare him too much.

He was frightened by the silence and by being alone. Dean was always with him. He helped him get dressed, he got his meals, helped him clean up when he made mess, he played with him and gave him baths. He almost never yelled at him even when he was being a brat.

He wanted to go back to sleep nestled protectively under his big brother's arm. Where he felt safe from everything. When he slept with Dean he never had nightmares or got scared. He knew Dean would take care of anyone or anything that scared him because he did it on a daily basis. But not today. Not for eight days. Or possibly ten days.

Sammy's stomach flipped slightly when it occurred to him that it might take longer. What if they forgot to come back? What if they couldn't come back?

The little boy whimpered slightly and grabbed the blankets. He pulled them up around himself and hid under them as he heard the house crack and groan slightly just outside of his room. His heart pounded in his chest as he heard another squeaking noise further away from his room then nothing. He calmed slightly as he realized that the noises had come from the stairs. They creaked and groaned when anyone went upstairs or down. As he lay there he couldn't help but wish his brother was there with him.

When he dared to poke his head out from under the covers he listened and heard nothing. The squeaking and groaning noises had stopped shortly after they started. He wasn't sure what time it was but he guessed it was early still. It was still dark outside and the house was silent. Sammy pushed the covers off of himself and sat up. He reached out for the small lamp on the night table. As it turned it on he squinted as the room was bathed in a soft light.

Rubbing at his eyes he slipped off the bed and walked over to the desk. He sat down and starred at the drawing of his hands. He didn't want to colour it. He'd prefer to have his big brother here than colour a piece of paper. Dean promised he'd come home and he promised he'd colour in the picture. He had no reason to doubt that Dean wouldn't come home in ten days. So he would colour it in and show the picture to his big brother as soon as he came back.

He looked into the Tupperware container full of pieces of crayons. He took out a small piece of purple. It was one of his favourite colours and there were only two small pieces left of the wax crayon. He carefully coloured in the pinky finger for the first day.

He looked down at his colouring when he was finished not liking that he'd gone out of the lines in three places. Dean never seemed to mind when he did that, but he minded. His brother had taken great pains to draw this picture for him and he should at least keep within the lines.

He got up from the desk and looked in the dresser for some clothes. His brother had grouped his clothing for him by day. Pants, t-shirts, socks and shorts folded up together. Ten stacks of clothes. He took out one stack and got himself dressed. He fumbled with buttons and zippers that Dean usually helped him with.

When he was finally dressed he made his way out of his room and headed down the stairs. He stopped part way down when he saw Pastor Jim making funny movements in the living room.

He sat down on a middle stair and looked out between the banister rails. He was mesmerized by the slow motion movements and he thought that he was performing some kind of martial art. He wasn't sure what kind it was but he was pretty sure that's what it is. He'd seen people perform it in parks.

He sat on the stair alone for a while until Angel came up and joined him. She sat beside him and put a paw on his knee. Not looking away from Jim Sammy reached over and petted the dog slowly almost in time to Jim's motions.

When Jim was done his routine he walked over to the coffee table and picked up a glass of water. As he took a drink he finally noticed that he had an audience.

"Good morning Sammy," he said.

Caught Sammy stood up and went down the rest of the stairs. "What were you doing?" he asked softly.

"That is a martial art form called Tai Chi. Would you like to learn a few steps? I'd be happy to teach you," Jim said.

Sammy thought about it for a moment and then nodded his head.

"All right. Come over here," he said leading him into the living room. "Now stand with your legs apart just a little. Take a few deep breaths. Good."

Jim straightened the boy's stance. "Now I'll show you the first move."

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Dean sat in the diner's booth waiting for his father to come back from the washroom. He stared listlessly out of the diner's window to the dirty snowy parking lot. He looked up sharply as he sensed movement next to him.

"Can I get you anything else?" a tired looking waitress asked as she picked up the dirty dishes.

"No. Just the bill sweetheart," Jess said.

The waitress shook her head at him and walked away from the table.

"Real lady killer, aren't you?" Dean said.

"Shut it runt," Jesse replied. "Sides after a few years on the road anything with legs looks great."

Dean gave him a disgusted look and turned his attention back to the almost empty parking lot.

"Hey," Jesse said sharply.

The nine year old turned back and glared at the man.

"I asked you if you were ready to go?" Jesse asked his tone softer.

Dean's glare faded away slightly. "Yeah."

"Good cause you're Dad's paying the bill over there," Jesse said. "You doin' ok kid?"

Dean ignored his question and hurried to catch up to his Dad who had just left the diner. They piled into the truck and headed back on to the road.

"Dean?" John asked.

"Yes sir?" he asked looking at the back of his father's head.

"You sure you're ready for this?" John asked.

Dean rolled his eyes at the question. "Yes sir."

"Good," John said not turning to face his son. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

The cab of the truck fell silent again. Dean smirked slightly. He had no idea how his father was able to do that but he was nailed every time. Turning his attention out the side window he wondered how Pastor Jim's patience was holding up with his brother's constant running around, talking or just his restless energy. He thought the break from watching over his sibling would be a nice change but it just felt weird without Sammy around.

0000000000000

Jim glanced out the window to the back yard. Little Sammy was still out there throwing snowballs for Angel to catch. It was a great game for the both of them using up the energy that was secretly driving the pastor crazy. He chuckled quietly to himself. John had only been gone for a day and a half and he had a long way to go before he returned. The cleric was going to have to find something to keep the little boy occupied until then. But until the boy had tired of the snowball game he would have time to work on the Sunday sermon. He sat back down at the table and got back to work.

0000000000000

The drive into the mountains had taken a couple of hours. Dean had grown increasingly nervous during the silent drive. More than once he wished they had played the radio, put in a cassette tape or talked. But there had been nothing but silence since his father had asked him how he was doing.

As Jesse pulled off onto the shoulder of the road John took a bag from between the two seats in the front and pulled out something. He handed it to Jesse then turned to Dean.

"Lunch." John said simply.

"Thanks," Dean said as John passed him back a piece of beef jerky and a stick of processed cheese. Dean pulled on the plastic packaging but couldn't get it open. He brought out his pocket knife and cut into the package. This kind of meal was not a surprise to him. Many times lunch was anything that could technically be classified as protein purchased from the gas station. Their father would stop long enough for a bathroom break and a fill up before continuing onto whatever town had whatever he was hunting. On good days their father would include a bag of peanut M&M's but those treats were very few and far between.

When lunch was finished and the garbage tucked away for throwing out later they got out of the truck. Jesse reached into the back of the truck and pulled out John's pack and handed it to him. He pulled out Dean's and looked at John in surprise.

"What?" John asked.

"It's a little bit heavy and a bit big for him isn't it?" Jesse asked.

"It's fine," Dean said stepping over to him and holding his hand out for his pack.

"I tried the pack on him at Jim's before we left. It's a bit big but nothing he can't handle," John said taking the pack from Jesse and holding it so Dean could put it on.

"Don't need help," Dean groused quietly before sliding his arms under the straps. He steadied himself waiting for an extreme weight but found the pack was nicely balanced.

"Ok?" John asked. He had tried the pack on Dean at Jim's and it was a few inches too big for the boy. But he hadn't tried it on him after he'd packed it.

"Yes sir," Dean said and felt the weight grow a bit heavier as his father let go. It was still a manageable weight but heavier than he was accustomed to. He was sure he could handle it. Knowing Jesse was waiting for him to complain he just met his gaze waiting for the older man to put on his pack.

"He's fine Jesse. Put your pack on and let's get moving," John said as he hoisted his pack on his shoulders and started into the woods. Dean looked away from the librarian with a shake of his head and followed his Dad into the woods leaving the other man to follow.

It was a bright sunny day even if it was ten degrees below freezing. Their breath formed small puffs of cloud as they walked through the woods. They had been on the trail for about an hour when the silence was broken.

"Dean how do you kill a wendigo?" John asked out of the blue.

Dean groaned inwardly. Not just a hike but a test as well. "Fire."

"How do you know if someone is possessed?" John asked.

"Say the name of God in Latin," Dean replied.

"Which is?" John pressed.

"Christo," Dean said.

"How do you kill a shape shifter?" Jesse asked.

"Silver bullet to the heart," Dean replied.

"How do you keep a spirit from entering a house?" John asked.

"Line of salt around entry ways of the home. Door, window, fireplaces," Dean replied.

The questions went on for quite sometime before Dean got a harder one.

"How do you kill the snow monster?" Jesse asked.

"Trick question," Dean said. "First of all we're not even sure it's a monster or a demon or just a really big fugly bear. Odds are we can take it down with one of our normal guns. But just in case it is a demon we have silver bullets and silver arrows for your cross bow."

John had a huge smile as he followed behind his son.

"And if none of that works?" Jesse pressed.

John's smile began to falter.

"Well we have rock salt shot for the shot guns. We can fire at it until we blast it off the mountain. It falls to it's death. Or Dad has his machete and we can chop it's head off like a werewolf," Dean suggested. "Or we die. But I'd rather get home to my little brother if it's all the same to you."

Jesse stopped and looked back at the boy. Dean just glared at him and pushed past him and continued down the trail.

John smiled smugly at him. "That's my son," he said proudly and followed his boy down the trail.

Jesse smiled at their backs and hurried to catch up.

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Dean had fallen into step behind his father. He wasn't paying attention to the others or watching where he was going. He was walking in cadence with his father's footfalls on the frozen ground beneath their feet. He was worried about his brother. He knew he shouldn't be that he was safe with Pastor Jim but Sammy was his responsibility. It was strange not having the little boy under his feet, constantly asking him questions and getting into trouble.

He didn't see his father stop and walked right into his pack. As he looked up to his father he blushed slightly. "Sorry," he mumbled.

John turned and scowled down at his son. "We'll camp here for the night," he announced in the dim light.

The sun was going down as was the temperature. Through the trees they could just make out the mountain's outline.

Dean put down his pack and began to assemble the tent. He was just glad they had stopped for the night. As he put the bendable pole through the thin tent material he could hear his dad making dinner. Jesse had disappeared when he had started putting up the tent. By the time Dean had finished putting up the small tent Jesse had returned with an armload of firewood and some brush.

"Start a fire?" Jesse asked as he dropped the wood by John.

"Sure," John said.

Jesse moved over to where Dean was standing tying back the doors to the tent. "Good work Dean. Takes me a bit longer to get this thing up."

Dean shrugged and looked pointedly at the green brush in his hands.

"Oh it's not much I know, but it will insulate us a bit against the cold frozen ground while we sleep," Jesse said as he knelt to go into the tent. "Hand me those thermal blankets. I'll put them on top of the boughs."

Once the thermal blankets were put over the tree boughs Dean handed the librarian the sleeping bags and they were rolled out over the thermal blankets. Lastly the two put a fly over the tent.

When the setup was complete Dean and Jesse moved over to where John had prepared soup for dinner and had a fire going.

John smiled over at his son. Even when his son had issues with people he moved efficiently and worked as a team player.

When the meagre meal had been finished the three hunters stared into the yellow flames of the fire lost in their own thoughts. When Dean started to nod off John looked over at Jesse.

"Why don't I take first watch?" Jesse suggested.

John nodded. "Fine. I'll take the next and then Dean can take the last one," he said getting up off the log he was sitting on.

Dean perked up slightly at the mention of his name and stared glassily at his father already half asleep.

"Come on son. Time to turn in," he said.

Dean blinked a few times to get his bearings then followed his father into the tent. Mechanically he took off his boots and crawled into the tent. He slid into his sleeping bag and was asleep before his head hit the small pillow.

John watched his son for a moment before pulling the flap of the open sleeping bag back over his son. He zipped it up to keep in as much warmth as possible.

"Thanks Dad," Dean mumbled his voice thick with sleep.

"Sleep well Dean," John said softly then laid out in his sleeping bag and fell asleep.


	5. Day 5 December 9th

**Disclaimer:** As usual I don't own anything recognizable in the following story. That includes the Winchester family, Pastor Jim and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I will lay claim to Jesse and Angel though.

**Author's notes:** A serious shout out for lynxlan for the beta. This was one seriously messed up chapter.

Oh and there's a few cuss words in this chapter.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 5 December 9**

Dean had been woken around four in the morning by his father with orders to wake him and Jesse at eight. Since then the boy had walked the camp jumping at every sound around him. He gathered wood from around the site to keep the fire stoked and warm. And when he was bored enough he wandered to the edge of the tree line and gazed up at the mountain they would be climbing that day.

It was huge and his overactive imagination in the early dawn hours gave it human features. He could make out jagged teeth, menacing eyes, a gaping maw and large scarred hands that were ready to reach out and grab people daring to make the attempt to climb it. There was a halo of clouds encompassing it's crown and Dean felt a chill slice up his spine as he imagined the disturbing sharp claws rip them off the mountain and fling them down to the snow covered meadow to their deaths.

With the disturbing image of the three of them broken and bloody at the bottom of the mountain he suddenly felt cold and alone. Running his hands up and down his arms he rushed back to the camp which was a mere few feet away. He stoked up the fire and realized that he needed to wake the men in a half hour.

He reached into his Dad's pack pulling out the coffee pot and the fry pan. He put the pan onto the fire to warm it up then he walked out of the forest, filled the pot with snow and without looking at the mountain he returned to camp. He stuck the pot into the fire and as the snow melted he started bacon on the hot fry pan. By the time the bacon was crispy and ready to be eaten the men had woken to the smell and were settling around the fire. Dean dished up plates of bacon and while they ate that he scrambled up some eggs and poured them some coffee.

Jesse was impressed by the preparedness of the young boy but he didn't say anything. Being prepared is one thing doing battle was something else entirely.

After breakfast the fire was extinguished and the tent taken down. Everything was repacked in to their backpacks and they started for the mountain. By the time they had walked across the meadow and were almost at the mountain the day had turned from sunny to overcast. The cloud cover seemed to be light and not heavy enough to carry enough moisture to snow. They found a worn trail that looked to have been there for years. After climbing for a couple of hours John called for a rest stop at a open area.

Dean sat down on a rock and watched the two men converse quietly enough for him not to hear. He'd kept up and had only slipped twice on the rocky terrain. Dean looked around at the valley below. He'd never liked heights and quickly looked away. When he looked back he caught a strange look from his father.

Dean removed his pack and looked around the small clearing. There was a lot of snow, more so than down below. He spotted some dull red splashes of colour on the white snow and walked towards it. Just below was a small ledge which had a few half chewed bones on it and more blood splattered around the animal remains.

"Dad!" Dean yelled to get his attention.

John came over to where Dean stood and the boy pointed down to the small ledge.

"What is it?" Jesse asked.

"Remains from the Abominable Snowman's lunch," John said.

Dean couldn't help but let out a small giggle.

John frowned at him again.

Dean hastened to control himself. "Sorry sir. It's just that you say Abominable Snowman and I think of that silly cartoon that Sammy likes at this time of year. I know this is different," he quickly explained.

"Hey I love that cartoon-stop-animation-thing," Jesse said with a large grin. "Would it be better if we called it a Yeti?"

"Yeah that would be better," Dean said.

John frowned but agreed as well then glanced over the meadow below. "The weather looks to be closing in. Jesse get out the ropes. I want us to be tied together in case one of us slips."

"Sure thing," Jesse said and hurried over to where they'd left his pack.

Dean looked away from his father. He was sure the only one his father was worried about sipping was him.

When the rope was secured to each of them they continued up the mountain. As they walked they passed more evidence of the Yeti the higher they climbed. There were more remains of kills - bones, carcasses, skin and patches of blood on the frozen snow.

They came around a bend and saw a cave just ahead of them. The hunters backed down the mountain slightly to get a final rest before going into the cave. They unhooked the rope but huddled slightly together for warmth. It had started to snow and the wind had picked up.

John looked down at his son. "You stay with me son. Understand? I want you in my sight at all times," he said loud enough just for Dean to hear him.

Dean smiled confidently up at his father. "Yes sir."

"That's my boy," John said and squeezed Dean's shoulder. Taking a closer look at his son he realized that Dean was putting on a brave front. "Son are you feeling ok? Feel like you want to be sick?"

Dean blinked at him for a second as the fake grin fell away and he paled under the red wind-kissed cheeks. He turned away from his father and threw up. John knelt beside him and rubbed his back in slow circles. When Dean sat back up John smiled down at him.

"Better?" John asked.

"Yes sir," Dean said softly looking away from his father feeling totally embarrassed.

Jesse handed a water bottle to him. "Don't sweat it kid. We've been on this hunt now for about a day and a half. Most of us had thrown up in the first fifteen minutes of our first hunts from shaky nerves alone. Some of us even hurled after seeing a small amount of blood. Take your time and we'll go when you're ready, ok?"

Dean nodded at him as he took the water bottle and rinsed out his mouth. He leaned his head back against the rock wall behind him and closed his eyes. He heard Jesse step away from them to give him a little space.

The boy looked up at his Dad. "Sorry," he whispered.

"For getting sick?" John asked. "Jeez Dean even your old man tossed his cookies before his first hunt. Jesse did as did Jim. You should ask Caleb next time how he did on his first hunt."

Dean looked at his father. "That bad?" he asked crinkling his face up a bit.

"Oh yeah. All over me and Jim," he chuckled then sobered. "Are you ready to continue?"

Dean rinsed out his mouth one more time then took a small drink of the water. "I'm ready."

"You're sure? We can take the time now, but when we enter the cave we can't turn back," John asked willing to give his son a few more minutes.

"Yes sir. I'm sure. Let's do this. I want to get home to Sammy," Dean said.

"All right," John said and they stood up.

Jesse got his cross bow out of his pack and slung his quiver over his back which held his silver arrows. Then he put his sidearm into the hollow of his back. He looked over at John who was had put his side arm into the hollow of his back as well and was pulling a shotgun out of his pack.

Dean looked between both men's weapons and looked at his small hand gun. He felt like he was holding a water pistol.

John leaned down to him and handed him a shot gun. "It's just filled with rock salt. It won't stop it but it may give you a few seconds to get away," he shouted over the wind.

Dean looked at it and quickly stowed his gun in the hollow of his back and took the shot gun. He clicked off the safety and nodded at his Dad.

John pulled out another shot gun from the bag. He removed the safety and nodded to Jesse.

Cautiously the three headed towards the mouth of the cave hugging the side of the rock wall. The wind blew harder, the snow started to fall heavier and visibility was low. They moved along the trail to the cave with their hand on the mountain's rocky side as a guide. With military like precision they stormed the cave. Dean knew he should take this seriously but he felt like he was playing soldier. Like all the practice times that his father had him and Sammy running drills. Dean followed his father's hand signals and went where he directed when he told him to go.

The cave was large and eerily silent after coming in from the wind. There were rooms that were off to the side and Dean's inquisitive mind wondered how they formed. There was nothing but a smooth cave floor in the large room that they entered off of the mountain side. That in itself was strange. There were no pieces of rock all over the floor, or even pieces of animal meat or bone left over from one of the creature's meals. The place was neat and tidy.

Following his father's hand signals Dean cautiously went into one of the side rooms. It was a bedroom for lack of a better way to describe it. There were animal skins, leaves and fir tree branches piled up in a corner of the room. It was obviously where the animal slept but for now the room was beast free. He cautiously left the room and looked for his father. He found him in another side room that had several sets of rusty chains set into the cave wall. His father was over looking at one that had a yellowed old human skeleton hanging from it.

"Hey it's not here," Jesse said as he came into the room. "Wow this must be the torture chamber. Well I found the dining room. There's nothing but left over animal pieces and I think some human remains. A few human bones and skulls anyway."

"Then I found its bedroom," Dean reported and described the bedding he found.

"So what do we do? Want to wait it out?" Jesse asked. "I can set up the tarp and stove so we can warm up a bit."

"It's a good idea," John said.

"I'll get the bags," Dean said.

"OK but be careful son," John cautioned.

"I will," Dean said and left the torture chamber.

He cautiously left the room and was walking towards the opening of the cave when suddenly almost all of the light was gone. Dean stopped and looked at the silhouette of the monster they had come to hunt. It filled the mouth of the cave and only slivers of light made it's way around it. His stomach seemed to fall away as fear jolted through his body.

"DAD!" he screamed as the monster let out a loud roar.

Dean stumbled back at the loud noise. He brought the weapon up and fired both shotgun rounds into the beast. The abominable snowman continued to roar as it advanced into the cave.

"Dean!" John yelled as he and Jesse ran out into the main part of the cave.

Dean reloaded as he moved backwards and shot off another round. He didn't want to let the monster out of his sight.

"Get back here Runt!" Jesse shouted as he loaded and arrow onto his crossbow.

Shouts from the experienced hunters were bouncing off he cave walls confusing Dean. He wasn't sure whether to go to his father's side, Jesse's side or just continue backwards. He ignored their voices and continued to walk backwards to keep an eye on the enemy. He tried to move faster and saw an arrow hit the beast in it's shoulder. The beast let out an angry howl as he yanked it out.

The dull light from outside now filled the cave. The white beast was now covered in patches of red blood from his various wounds. It howled and snorted in pain and anger.

More shots were fired and Dean emptied his last shotgun round into the beast. He quickly reached into his pocket for more rounds only to find it empty. Dropping the shotgun he reached behind and pulled out his gun.

"Dean!" John shouted again.

Another arrow penetrated the animal this time striking near it's neck and it seemed to stagger back a little. Then it howled loud and long in part pain and part rage. It leapt forward and took a swipe at Dean. He was caught by the monster's claws and tossed against the wall of the cave. Dean landed hard on the cold hard ground.

"NO! You son of a bitch!" John yelled out as he rushed towards his son.

Dean looked up and saw his Dad moving towards almost in slow motion. Jesse had tossed his crossbow aside and was now using a shot gun as to shoot the beast.

He slowly put his head down on the cold earth as the world went dark as he passed out.

0000000000000

Dean slowly came back to consciousness. He blinked a few times as he tried to figure out why he was staring down at the dark brown ground. Sluggishly he raised his head and saw Jesse hanging from a set of chains in the cave wall across from him. His arms were hanging down from the chains above him but his legs were stretched out in front of him. His chin rested on his chest but Dean could make out part of his face and it was covered in blood.

"Dean?" John called out softly to him. "Dean can you hear me boy?"

Dean turned at the sound of his father's voice and saw his Dad was in a similar situation as Jesse. His arms were hanging from the chains in the wall and he was sitting on the ground with his legs stretched out in front of him just like Jesse. Dean swallowed at the amount of blood that covered his father. It was not as much as Jesse but there was still a lot and it frightened him. He squinted at him as he could see his mouth moving but he couldn't make out any sounds that his Dad was making. But he can see him and knows that he was trying to talk to him.

"Dad?" Dean whispered and shivered. Since hearing that he was coming on this hunt he was scared and wanted more than anything to be next to his Dad who was moving in and out of focus. He can't figure out why he sees a red haze to everything but he doesn't care. Right now he wants to be sitting next to his Dad very badly.

"Yeah. It's ok Dean. Can you get out of the restraints?" John asked as calmly as he could. He had woken a little while ago. His son had been hanging unconscious for far too long. He'd been talking to him hoping that he'd wake up sooner if he could hear his father's voice. Relief had washed though him when he'd raised his head but now he was more concerned then ever. Dean's forehead and eyes were covered in blood. The rest of his face was extremely pale. His jacket had claw marks that had ripped through the material and blood oozed out of the material. The rest of him seemed ok, but he couldn't see all of him.

"Dad?" Dean said again as he blinked several times in confusion.

"Yes Dean it's me. Listen to me boy. I can't get out of my chains. See if you can pull your wrists out of yours. They may be small enough to slip out," John said and almost winced at the commanding tone in his voice.

"Hurts," Dean said softly.

"I know it does. Try and get free Dean," John said.

Dean wanted to stand up as his arms were hurting from hanging there. As he tried to get to his feet he realized that he was part way standing already. The chains were so high that he was only partially hanging. His knees don't quite meet the ground but he couldn't seem to pull his feet up high enough to stand up. He let out a frustrated whimper. He twisted slightly and wrenched on his arms. Suddenly he found himself on the ground and it takes a second before he realized that he was free. The skin around his wrists are red and a little torn. They werebleeding slightly from a few small areas where the manacles tore his skin but he doesn't care. He coughed at the small cloud of dust that hadcame up around him and pain lanced through his shoulder.

"Dean?" John said trying to get his son's attention. "Dean get up."

He was dazed and confused. He can't figure out where they were or what they were doing there. Lifting his head up from the cold cave floor he realized that his father wasn't that far away.

He looked around the room. "Whrz Sammy?"

"Sammy's safe Dean. He's ok," John promised.

Dean nodded and lowered his head as slowly he struggled to his hands and knees. There was a steady wave of pain coming from his head, shoulders and wrists. He was cold and nauseous and he wanted to go back to sleep because nothing hurt when he was sleeping. But the overwhelming need to be next to his father won out and he slowly moved inch by inch closer to his father. It felt like it took forever and he was beyond exhausted by the time he made it.

"Dean? Look at me son," John said loudly but Dean's face remained pointed towards the ground as his arms shook with his effort to get there.

"Daddy?" Dean whimpered softly.

"It's ok Dean. I need you to look at me. Now," John said.

Dean can hear the command but as he made it the last few inches the only thing he can do is lie down next to his father's legs on the cold floor and pass out.


	6. Day 6 December 10th

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything recognizable. I will lay claim to Jesse and Angel. No money was made so please don't sue.

**Author's note:** Here's Day 6. Sorry for the lateness of the post but I had some technical difficulties. Tommow's chapter will be posted on time. Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 6 December 10th**

Jim had gone into Sammy's room intent on waking him up but paused for a moment to watch the small child. He was sleeping so peacefully that he felt compelled to take a moment and pray that Dean's first hunt isgoing as peacefully.

Gently he shook the five year old awake. "Morning sleepy head. Time to get up."

"Why?" Sammy mumbled as he turned over and reached out seeking his big brother.

"You told me yesterday that you wanted to be a better hunter than your brother," Jim said.

"Yeah," the boy said sleepily.

"Your brother excelled at Tai Chi. If you want to be a better hunter than him then this is a good first step," Jim said patiently.

"Start tomorrow," Sammy mumbled into his pillow.

"That's what I thought. You do not have the heart of a hunter," Jim said as he sighed dramatically not letting himself feel one bit guilty over his tactics.

Suddenly Sammy was sitting up in bed. "I do too!" He said indignantly.

"Well then get up so we can go through the routine," Jim said as he smiled at the boy. "Get dressed and I'll wait for you downstairs."

Sammy frowned as the pastor left his room. He turned back to look at his pillow then threw off his covers and got dressed as quickly as he could. When he got downstairs Jim was already going through his warm up exercises. Sammy stood next to him and tried to match what Jim did for the next hour.

0000000000000

Jesse looked over at John. "How's your head."

"Hard as ever," John quipped.

"Your son?" Jesse asked.

John was quiet for a few minutes. "He's breathing but there's gashes on his arms and his shoulder looks funny like it's out of place," John said then was quiet again.

"We'll be ok John," Jesse said softly. "Really."

"Daddy?" Dean slurred.

"Right here slugger," John said as his heart clenched slightly. His oldest hadn't called him Daddy since the night of the fire that claimed his mother's life.

"Feel funny," Dean said.

"What hurts?" John asked.

"Everything," Dean mumbled and John knew he was going back to sleep.

John snorted softly. "Yeah that just about sums it up doesn't it buddy."

"Not your fault John," Jesse said quietly.

"Really? Then whose fault is it Jesse? I'm his father. I'm responsible for him," John said angrily.

"Hey you're a man in very odd circumstances. With everything you've been through I'm surprised that you and your kids are so normal," Jesse said.

John raised his eyebrows and looked over at his friend. "I'm afraid to ask what your definition of normal is."

Jesse chuckled. "Yeah. Be afraid. Be very afraid."

There was an echoing scratching noise then and the men tensed fearful that the monster would come back in the room. But it didn't appear and the men gave a collective sigh of relief.

"I let you talk me into the strangest things," Jesse said.

"Yeah? How so?" John challenged.

"Oh come on. I thought when you called you were putting me on," Jesse said.

"Really?" John asked.

Jesse chuckled. "Well how many times does someone call you up and say hey I'm going to hunt the Abominable Snowman. Wanna come?"

John laughed quietly. "Yeah I guess that doesn't happen everyday."

"Listen John you're a lot of fun. But when you decide to go after Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer could you leave me out of it?" Jesse asked.

"Sure. No problem," John said.

0000000000000

Jim put out a colouring book for Sammy with crayons at the table. He set himself up near the boy at the table so he could work on his sermon and some general paperwork for the church. He watched the boy play with Angel on the floor for a few moments. For being a hyper kid he really was easy to look after. He turned to his notes and concentrated on his sermon.

"What'cha doing Pastor Jim?" Sammy asked a while later.

"Working on the Sunday sermon," Jim said.

"Oh. Are all the adults that bad that they hafta get a lecture every Sunday?" the five year old asked.

"A sermon is not a lecture Sammy. A sermon is a story with a lesson that is told to adults once a week," Jim said.

"Oh," Sammy said. "Can I help?"

"Well not right now. How about when I'm done I can read it to you and you can tell me if you like it or not," Jim suggested.

"Ok," Sammy said.

"Do you want to sit and colour?" Jim asked motioning to the colouring book on the table.

"Ok," the boy said again.

Sammy climbed into the chair and sat on his knees. He took a few minutes to look through the book before he found a picture he wanted to colour. Then he took serious stock of the crayon selection in the box. He pulled out a crayon, gave it some serious consideration then put it back into the box. He chose another colour, looked at the colour and back at the picture again. Satisfied it was the colour he wanted he carefully began to colour.

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John pulled on his restraints and heard Jesse do the same beside him. Both men had been working hard to either pull the chains out of the walls or get their wrists out of the manacles. The only thing they had accomplished were bloody wrists.

Dean stirred beside his father again. "Sammy?' he mumbled.

"Shhh Dean. Just rest," John said softly.

Dean moved an arm around in the dirt as if reaching out for something. "Dad where's Sammy?"

"He's with Pastor Jim," he said softly.

Dean curled his body closer to his father. "Not here. Should be right here," he said as he reached out again.

John sighed and was surprised as Dean pushed himself to sit up. He saw his son shiver and shift so he could lean up against his father.

"Dad?" Dean asked as he looked around the room. "What are we doing here?"

For the first time John was able to take a good look at his son. There was blood on his jacket and a tear or two in the material. His face had a few small lacerations but they seemed to have scabbed over already.

"We were hunting the abominable snowman. Do you remember anything?" John asked.

"Big hairy white bear like on Rudolf?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Something like that," John said.

"Why don't we just pull out his teeth then we can send him up to work at the north pole?" Dean asked seriously.

From the other side of his father Jesse began to laugh.

John could see the glassiness of his boy's eyes. "Well we'd have to tie him up first and looks like he got the drop on us."

Dean shifted so he could look to see who was laughing on the other side of his Dad. "Got a better idea Mr Bad Assed Librarian?" he challenged.

Jesse laughed even harder and even John cracked a smile.

"Man is your kid always this funny John?" Jesse asked.

"Only when he's concussed," John said.

"Dad?" Dean asked quietly suddenly serious and looking afraid. He moved closer to John.

"It's ok Dean," John said as he pulled on the manacles again making more blood appear at the cuffs of his jacket.

There was a snort that came from the opening of the room. John and Jesse's attention went from Dean to the door of their room. The white bear**-**like creature was standing there looking at them curiously as it seemed to sniff at the room. It opened it's mouth and gave a quiet almost questioning roar. Then it watched them for another moment and walked into the room. It stood at full height as it walked in then dropped to all fours as it neared them.

"Oh this can't be good," Jesse mumbled.

"Dean get behind me," John said. "Close your eyes son. Now. That's an order."

Dean hesitated for a moment before moving behind his Dad.

The monster got close to Jesse. The man moved his head away and scrunched his eyes closed waiting for the beast to take a bite out of him. It merely sniffed at him like a dog would then moved over to John and did the same. With a grunt it turned to where Dean had been shackled and gave another grunt before it left the room.

"Well that was definitely different," John said puzzled. "You can come out now Dean."

When no answer came he looked at Jesse. The other hunter just had a small smile on his face.

"He's out like a light," Jesse said.

0000000000000

When Jim had finished his sermon he looked and saw that Sammy had stopped colouring and was quietly playing on the floor of the living room playingwith his brother's green plastic soldiers. Angel was with him sniffing at the pieces of plastic sometimes knocking them over sometimes licking them.

"Hey!" Sammy yelled as Angel picked one up and started to chew on it. He reached in and pulled the mangled piece out of the dogs mouth.

"This isn't a doggie treat," Sammy said looking at the misshaped plastic piece. "Dean's gonna kill me."

"Oh I don't think so. It's just one piece Sammy," Jim said. "He probably won't even notice."

"You really think so?" Sammy asked.

"Yup," Jim said seriously. "I'm going to whip up some dinner. Any preferences?"

"Mac and cheese?" Sammy asked.

Jim shook his head. "Should've known."

Jim went into the kitchen and prepared macaroni and cheese for that nights dinner. When it was ready he went out to get the boy and bring him into the kitchen to eat. He found him on the floor of his study looking at a very large and dusty book.

"What do you have there Sammy?" Jim asked.

"I'm not sure," the young boy said and carefully closed the book. "I can't make out any words."

"You know how to read?" Jim asked.

"Dean's been teaching me. We haven't gone to school this year yet. Dad's last job was in the middle of no where until we got here," Sammy said.

"Oh. So Dean's taught you some words huh. That's great," Jim said as he read the title of the book. It was written in Latin and was a very old text. He gently took the book and put it back onto the shelf.

"Sammy that book is almost three hundred years old," Jim said. "The reason you can't read it is it's written in a different language."

"Of course!" Sammy said as he hit his forehead. "It's written in Latin."

Jim stifled a laugh and nodded seriously. "Yes it is."

"Can you teach me some Latin Pastor Jim?" Sammy asked.

"Sure. How about this. Christo," he said.

"Christo," Sammy repeated. "I heard Daddy say that when we were in the cabin. What does that mean?"

"It's God in Latin," Jim said.

"Ohhh that's a good one," Sammy said. "Daddy said that at Dean a few days before we left the cabin. Dean was mad and stopped talking to Daddy and wouldn't do what Daddy wanted him to do. Why would Daddy say that to Dean?"

"I'm not sure. Lets go have dinner and I'll teach you some more words in Latin, OK?" Jim offered.

"Sure," Sammy said with a shrug.


	7. Day 7 December 11th

**Disclaimer:** Just the standard - I own nothing recognizable in the following story. That includes the Winchester family, Pastor Jim, Lynyrd Skynyrd, etc. I wish I had a sheltie but the closest I can get is Angel. Oh and I claim Jesse too.

**Author's note:** Thanks to my very patient beta Lynxlan whom I'm sure doesn't want me to write anything else while I'm sick. Apparently I write in a mixture of tenses when I write sick. LOL. I did a lot of fixing after getting this back. So any errors that are still here are all mine.

Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 7 December 11th**

Jim and Sammy had done their morning routine and were sitting down to breakfast. The pastor was happily listening to the little boy's chatter as he put the bowl of cereal down in front of him. As the boy continuously spoke Jim let his thoughts drift to his big brother, father and his friend Jesse. They should be done with the beast soon and back on the road God willing.

"Pastor Jim?" Sammy said breaking though his thoughts.

"Oh I'm sorry Sammy. What did you say?" Jim asked.

Sammy sighed and pursed his lips together as he gave the man a searching look. "You worried about them?"

"Yes Sammy I am," Jim admitted.

"Me too. But I have lots of fingers to colour in yet before I'm allowed to worry," Sammy said.

Jim took a quick glance to Sammy's fingers. "Whose fingers are you colouring?" Jim asked.

Sammy took a mouthful of cereal. "Mnn. Dn dw fmm me."

Jim sighed. "Don't talk with your mouth full," he admonished.

Sammy swallowed the food. "Sorry. Dean drew me ten days," he said as if that explained everything.

Jim shook his head now thoroughly confused. "How did Dean draw you ten days?" he asked.

"I'll show you," Sammy said and suddenly he was down from the table and had run out of the room. He bounded into the room a moment later with two pieces of paper. He handed them to Jim and then sat down at the table.

Jim looked at the paper with the outline of two hands. There were two carefully traced hands and one finger had Daddy and Dean back written in it. Four of the fingers on one hand had been coloured in leaving what looked like a thumb to be coloured in on one page. The other page hadn't been coloured yet.

"Sammy how does this work?" Jim asked although he thought he knew.

"Dean made it," the little boy said. "Every morning that I wake up and he's not back I colour in a finger. Daddy said eight sleeps, but Dean made ten just in case it's harder than Daddy thought it would be. I'm not allowed to worry until I colour in the last finger and they're not home."

Jim smiled at Dean's ingenuity. He had fully expected John to explain how long eight sleeps was going to be.

"Dean's really smart. He's right. It's not so long. But he better not be late. I miss him," Sammy said.

"Yeah me too," he said.

0000000000000

Dean woke up in pain and darkness. He lay there for a few moments as he tried to sort out what had happened to get him here. There were only flashes - a dark silhouette of a bear like figure, darkness, coldness and pain. Lots of pain. But he realized that he was really warm for the first time since leaving Jesse's truck. There were noises in the room and it took a moment but he finally distinguished Jesse's and his father's voice. The sound was reverberating slightly and he figured out that he was hearing their voices through his father's back.

As comforting as it was hidden away and protected behind his Dad he remembered that he was the only one not chained to a wall. He was the only one that could go for help. It was something he felt an overwhelming need to do to. He shifted slightly and his father leaned forward.

"Dean?" John said softly. "You awake back there boy?"

"Yes sir," Dean replied and wished that his voice wasn't so shaky. He tried to move but he was lodged between the cave wall and his Dad. John shifted forward and Dean crawled out from behind him.

It took a moment but Dean came out. He was still a little sleepy but the cold woke him up quickly. His vision had cleared and Dean was relieved that the red haze was gone. There were several areas on his body that throbbed and he had a headache. Several areas of his skin are itchy from healing scratches and he was sure that one of the gouges from the manacles is slightly infected but it won't slow him down. His shoulder is completely numb but he would rather it was numb than the painful alternative he remembered it to be.

"How are you feeling runt?" Jesse asked.

Dean watched his father give him a once over.

"He's not good," John said.

"No Dad I'm ok," Dean said. "Really."

"Dean you are not good. Your shoulder looks like it's out of place and your other arm is still bleeding from where the beast got you," John said.

Dean grimaced slightly. "Yeah well I look better than you two. Dad I need to go get help," he said softly.

"No. No way," Jesse said shaking his head.

"You're not going anywhere," John said.

Dean stood up shakily and closed his eyes against the dizziness.

"Dean sit down before you pass out," John said.

"Dean I can see you shaking from here. Come sit here between John and me. We'll warm you up, ok?" Jesse said.

Dean opened his eyes and took a step back. "I can do this. I can bring back help. Dad I have to. No one else will make it here in time," he said.

"Dean you don't have to do anything," Jesse said and looked at John when he didn't back him up. "John?"

The older hunter sighed. "Jim won't call Joshua until the seventeenth. It will take him at least one day to get here. I think it's only the eleventh today, but I've been in and out of it so much it could be the twelfth. Dean's right. He needs to bring back help."

"John he's just a boy," Jesse said. "No offence kid. You've done well. But if it's cold inside it's even colder out there. Your jacket is torn and you have no survival training for this kind of weather. The supplies are gone."

Jesse looked from Dean's determined look back to his father's defeated one. "John!"

"Shut up Jesse. I don't like this either," John growled at the man while looking at his son.

"I'll be fine Dad. Really. I can do this. I know I can," Dean said.

John closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the stone wall. This couldn't have gone further south if he'd planned for it to go south. He opened his eyes and looked at his young son.

"Dean listen carefully kiddo. It's a long way down that mountain. Take your time and be careful but keep a steady pace. It will keep you warm. If it's been snowing try to find a large stick and poke it into the ground ahead of you. It will keep you on firm ground and hopefully on the trail. Once you get off the mountain, no matter how tired you are keep going for the tree line. If you need to rest once you are there then do so, but do not fall asleep. Promise me you won't fall asleep," John said.

"Yes sir. I won't sleep," Dean promised.

"Head for the road. If you get to Jesse's truck break the glass and go for the satellite phone. Call Jim he'll get you help. If you get out of the woods and don't see the truck wait for an on coming vehicle and wave it down," John paused. "You still have a weapon?"

Dean felt the back of his pants and found that at some point he'd lost his gun. He put his hand into his pocket and found the knife his father had given him for his birthday. Pulling it out he showed it to his father.

"Good. Don't hesitate to defend yourself Dean. I mean it," John said.

"Yes sir," Dean said.

"Once you flag down help give them the details. I don't want you to come back here. Tell the police or park ranger how to get back here and then do what they tell you to do. But make sure you talk to Jim. Make sure they get you to him, understand?" John said.

"Yes sir," Dean said.

Jesse looked back and forth between father and son. "NO! John it's suicide! He cannot do this alone."

"Shut the Hell up Jesse. You can do this Dean. Tell me the plan," John said.

"Carefully make my way down the mountain and make for the tree line without stopping. If I need to rest once I'm in the trees that's ok but no sleeping. Get to the road. If I see Jesse's truck break the glass, get the satellite phone and call pastor Jim. If I don't see the truck then wave down a vehicle and get help. Tell them where you are," Dean said and stopped.

"You are not to come with them," John said.

"Yeah I'm not to come back," Dean said after a pause. "I'll send back help Dad. I can do this."

John nodded. "I know you can. Dean above all else make sure you are safe. We'll be ok for a couple more days here. You need to make sure you make it back to Sammy. Understood?"

"Yes sir. We'll all make it back to Sammy," Dean said and turned to Jesse smiling. "When I see you next don't call me runt."

"Smart ass," Jesse said. "Good luck hunter."

Dean nodded at both men and walked away from them. He cautiously looked into the main room and saw that it was clear. He looked back at both men and gave them a big grin.

"Help will be here soon," he said then he checked the main room again. Seeing that it was still clear he quickly left the room.

0000000000000

Jim walked into the room to find Sammy watching a cartoon. Thundercats he believed the boy had called it yesterday but he wasn't sure. He never had been into cartoons even as a child.

"Hey Sammy. I could use your help with something," Jim said.

Sammy immediately jumped off his seat and turned off the TV. "Ok," the boy said.

"I have some boxes and things I need to get out of storage," Jim said and headed towards the garage. His car was never parked inside of it. The garage was more of a storage facility than a house for the car.

Sammy followed the pastor happily to the garage. He loved going in there. There was so much interesting stuff out there that he loved to search through the old boxes.

Jim opened the door that connected the garage to the house. They weren't going outside but the room was chilly. He sighed as he turned on the light and looked at all the boxes. There were rows of boxes in here neatly labelled and organized but there was still too much stuff. He never seemed to have the time to go through it all and get rid of the stuff he didn't need anymore. He was sure there were boxes in here that he hadn't gone through since the early seventies.

Sammy looked up at him with a serious look. "This could take all day. What are we looking for?"

"Well I thought now would be a good time to decorate for Christmas. What do you think?" Jim asked.

Sammy nodded. "Do you know where to start looking? Because if you don't we may still be looking by the time Daddy gets back."

Jim frowned. The child was right. This could take days but he was pretty sure the Christmas decorations were somewhere in the middle. At least the boxes were labelled. "Come on Sammy. I think they're over there."

0000000000000

The wind hit Dean at full blast as soon as he stuck his head out of the cave to check for the beast. He closed his eyes against it's force and closed his eyes. It was cold and it stung his already red chapped and wounded face. He ducked back into the cave, pulled up the neck of his shirt over his face and checked again. It wasn't so bad this time with the small amount of protection and he didn't see any sign of the snow monster. It was snowing heavily and he couldn't see much of anything. Stepping out into the cold he hoped that Pastor Jim had put a good word in with his boss above or this wasn't going to go well.

He stepped carefully along the path keeping a hand on the rock wall that accompanied the trail. It was hard to see where he was going partly because of the snow and partly because everything was white. Dean remembered reading a story in school where someone had snow blindness and he'd had a hard time understanding how it could happen. He had no doubt now how easy it would be for that to happen to someone. What he couldn't remember was how long it would take to get snow blindness. Keeping one hand on the rock wall he put his other hand up across his face so he could look through his fingers.

He stumbled often and soon his jeans and thermal underwear were wet. There were various injuries vying for his attention but he ignored them all. He had one objective and one objective alone. He either got those men help or they would die. He had already lost his mother and he'd rather die before losing his father. Slipping on a patch of ice he fell flat onto his stomach. With his good hand he hit the frozen ground in frustration before getting to his knees. He was exhausted but wouldn't let himself give up. He struggled to his feet and continued to make his way down the mountain.

0000000000000

It had taken about two hours but Jim had found the decorations near the back of the garage. Sammy had been extremely patient and he'd sent the tyke outside to play with Angel in the back yard.

After pulling out the appropriate boxes and depositing them into the living room he called in Sammy.

"You found them!" the five year old exclaimed when he spotted the boxes in the middle of the room.

"Sure did," Jim said. "Let me put the tree together and you look through the boxes for the decorations for it, ok?"

"Sure! I've never had a tree before," Sammy said.

Jim gave the boy a funny look.

Sammy saw it and shrugged. "We're usually driving somewhere or we're in a motel. Motel's don't let us have Christmas trees."

Jim sighed. The Winchester boys had missed out on so much. Sometimes when he heard things like that from either of the boys he regretted his decision to approach the grieving mechanic a few years ago. John turned out to be a good hunter, but had it been worth it at the expense of the boys childhoods?

"Pastor Jim are you ok?" Sammy asked looking at the man with big round eyes.

"Sure Sammy. I'm fine," Jim said.

The boy was not convinced. "But you've been standing there doing nothing."

"Sometimes I let my thoughts get away from me," Jim said as he knelt down to open the large box he stored the Christmas tree in.

"Yeah Daddy does that too. Dean says its cause he's getting older or cause he's really into the intel gathering that everything else just kinda falls away. Even us which is why Dean's always looking out for me," Sammy said as if everyone tuning out around him was a regular occurrence.

Jim made a point from that time on to not let his thoughts get away from him.

"So you find any decorations for the tree yet?" he asked.

"Nope. I can't open the boxes and Daddy says I can't have a knife until I'm at least Dean's age," the boy cocked his head to the side. "Do you think he meant nine or whatever Dean's age actually is cause then I wouldn't ever be able to handle a knife. Dean promised to teach me how to throw knives when I was old enough. He hits lots of bulls eyes with his knife. But now I'm not sure if I'll be able to learn. I'm sure Daddy meant nine though cause waiting to make Dean's age would just be too long don't you think Pastor Jim?"

Jim looked at the hyper five year old and wondered how he got out so many words without taking a breath.

"I'll go get a knife Sammy," Jim said and disappeared into the kitchen for a second before returning with the shiny utensil.

Jim made quick work of cutting open all the boxes and left them for Sammy to open. He put the knife up on the fireplace mantle out of the reach of the curious five year old. The last thing he needed was John returning home to find the youngster had cut himself.

He pulled out the pieces of the tree and put it together. By the time he was done Sammy had emptied three of the boxes and there were decorations strewn all over the room. He wondered briefly how Dean kept up with him.

"Sammy what did you find?" Jim asked surveying the mess.

"Shiny ones there, fish hooks there and stringy stuff there," Sammy said.

Jim took another look atthe room and realized that the tyke had organized everything just like that. "Good job Sammy. See these?"

"Uh huh," the boy responded looking at a bobble Jim held up and one of the hooks.

"OK the small loop goes through the loop of the bobble," Jim said as he connected the tree hook to the bobble. "Then the larger hook goes over the tree branch like this."

"Oh ok," Sammy said as he grabbed a handful of hooks and connected one to a bobble then handed it to pastor Jim. "Like this?"

"Just like that. Do some more for me and we'll get this tree done in no time," Jim said.

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Dean felt like he had been walking forever and he still had a long way to go to get off the mountain. His legs were burning from the walk and he was freezing. Knowing his father said not to stop he couldn't help but pause momentarily and lean up against the rock wall. He was freezing and there was ice forming on his jeans from when he got them wet earlier. Reaching down he smacked the rigid material and bits of ice came off the pants. He took comfort in knowing the patches of ice were small and wouldn't stop him from his objective. Shoving himself off the rock wall he started moving forward at a faster pace than before.

The weather had eased up a little. It was still snowing but the white stuff was not falling as heavily as it had when he started out and the wind was not blowing as strongly. He talked himself into jogging for a bit to make up for the slow progress he'd made earlier due to the weather. He didn't make it too far at the fast clip before stumbling on another icy surface.

He cried out as he landed on his dislocated shoulder hearing a definitive crunching sound. Moving to his knees he sat there holding his painful arm to his side with his other arm. He needed to keep moving but he also needed to get a handle on the pain. Slowly he let go of his arm and unzipped his jacket. Careful and panting against the pain he pulled his arm out of the sleeve yelling out obscenities he'd heard from his father when the pain got too bad.

When his arm was finally out of it's sleeve and his jacket was hanging limply off his back he gave himself a moment. He shook his head at himself. Swearing did not make him feel any better so he wondered why his father did it when he was injured. Taking a steadying breath he reached over and pulled his jacket back around himself and struggled to do up the zipper. It took a lot of time he knew he didn't have to waste but when he was finally done he slowly stood up and continued on. He hoped the offending wound would go numb soon. It would make the long hike ahead of him that much easier.

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A couple of hours later they took a break. Jim ordered in pizza for dinner and they took some time out to eat. After cleaning up from that they spent another couple hours to finish decorating. Jim flicked a switch and the fireplace flickered to life. He turned on the lights on the tree and then turned off the living room lights.

Sammy's eyes danced around the room. "I like it," he said.

"Me too," Jim said taking in the twinkling lights and soft fire light. Then turned the lights back on.

Sammy yawned and Jim looked at his watch. It was well after the boy's bedtime in fact it was nearing his own.

"Ok tiger. Let's get you off to bed. Go brush your teeth and I'll be up to tuck you in after I return these boxes to the garage. Ok?" Jim said.

"Ok," Sammy said sleepily.

Sometimes Jim forgot that Sammy was just five. After returning the boxes to the garage he headed upstairs and stopped short in front of the bathroom. The counter was covered in water and soap suds. There were smears of toothpaste on the mirror and the towels were on the floor.

He smiled and shook his head. Sometimes he just needed a few reminders that he wasn't dealing with Dean or relying on Dean to do most of this stuff.

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Night had fallen and Dean was almost all the way down the mountain. He figured another hour or so and he'd be able to make his way to the tree line. Then he could take a rest. The path was more icy than before and at some point during the torturous walk he found himself singing a Lynyrd Skynyrd tune called Simple Man. The song had always made him think of his mother and he wondered where she was at the moment. He wasn't sure if he believed in heaven. He couldn't believe that someone that cared so much about his people would allow his mother to be torn away form him and his family. So he preferred to believe that she was their guardian angel. She looked after them all. He hoped she was watching over his father or Sammy.

He shook himself out of those thoughts. He had to focus on getting off the mountain and get help for Dad and Jesse. Dean began to hum Metallica to distract himself from his thoughts and from how tired he was feeling.

Looking around himself he knew he should try and keep a vigilant watch around him. He was pretty sure the monster wouldn't show up. It would keep to the cave but there hadn't been that much intel available on the creature and he didn't know what the range of it's territory was.

Dean slipped but didn't fall. He was exhausted and freezing but he couldn't stop and he couldn't walk any faster to warm up. The pain in his shoulder was intense and he would've killed for an aspirin. He pushed those thoughts away. He had to keep alert and not bitch to himself about his wounds.

The Metallica changed to a mantra of gotta save Dad, gotta save Jesse, gotta get to Sammy, gotta save Dad, gotta save Jesse, gotta get to Sammy over and over.

Suddenly he was brought out of his daze when the monster dropped down in front of him on the path. It roared and took a step towards him. Dean stared at it for a moment before he realized that he had to defend himself. The knife was forgotten in his jeans pocket as he looked around for a weapon. He quickly picked up a rock and threw it at the monster as hard as he could. The beast stumbled back a step and howled at the pain. Dean staggered back at the sudden loudness of the roar and at the blood that was streaming down the beast's white face. He was sure red had never looked so bright. The creature started to advance on him and Dean stumbled backwards.

The beast lunged at the nine year old and Dean leaned back moving just out of the monster's reach. He barely evaded the sharp claws but his feet lost traction and he slipped off the trail. He began to slide uncontrollably down the side of the mountain. His hand grabbed at anything to try and slow or stop his fall. His fingers and finger nails catch on patches of ice and bits of rock as he fell. Dean's finger tips are torn and his nails are ripped down past the quick.

Then he hit a slight ledge and he started rolling down the mountain. He bounced off rocky bits and small trees. The world was spinning around him as he hit the mountain with his side, his legs and back. Every time he hit the mountain bits of snow and pebbles began to fall with him. He wasn't sure which way is up with the snow in his face.

He screamed in pain as his wounded shoulder made contact with the rocky mountain. He fought to stay conscious trying desperately to block out the pain and to think about getting back to his little brother. He was afraid that he might break his promise after all.

He suddenly came to an abrupt stop at the base of the mountain and he lay there. Stunned. Staring out at the pristine whiteness around him. He sees nothing but white snow defaced slightly by small splatters of red. It took a moment but he realized that the red is his blood.

Inside he started screaming at himself to get up. He can barely breathe but he knew if he fell asleep here, alone, and in the snow that he will freeze to death. But his eyes closed anyway and the world of white and pain almost completely faded away.

"_I'll read this story to you again when I get back ok," Dean said._

"_Promise?" Sam asked around a yawn as his eyes closed._

"_I promise," Dean said softly._

"Sammy," he whispered as he opened his eyes.

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"DDDeeeeeaaaaaaaannnnnnn! NNNOOOOO!!!!" Sammy screamed as he bolted up in bed. The little boy was covered in sweat and there were tears flowing down his face. He was shaking so hard that he could barely breathe.

Jim burst into the room and turned on the light. He saw Sammy sitting up in his bed with wet shinny cheeks and he was paler than the white sheets he was sleeping under. Quickly he rushed over to him to try and settle him from what ever had happened.

Angel followed her master into the room and jumped up onto the bed. She tried to lick the tears off of Sammy's face but the boy pushed her away.

"What is it Sammy? Did you have a bad dream?" Jim asked softly.

"D-D-Dean," is all Sammy could say before he hiccupped and continued to cry.

Angel settled herself next to Sammy's legs and she whimpered lowly at the boy's distress.

"It's all right Sammy," Jim said as he tucked the young boy to his side and ran a hand through his hair. It's something he had seen Dean and John do to the boy and it usually calmed him down. "It's ok. It was just a nightmare."

Sammy shook his head back and fourth. He knew it was real. He knew that Dean had been on a snowy mountain and had fallen. He was at the bottom of a mountain and he was never coming back. He took a stuttered breath and cried even harder. Dean was dead.

All Jim can do is hold the crying boy and whisper words of comfort.


	8. Day 8 December 12th

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing recognizable in the following chapter. I will lay claim to Jesse and Angel.

**Author's note:** Thanks to lynxlan for the beta. This chapter rambles a bit and is a bit short.

Also I would like to add that I have very little in the knowledge of medical conditions, which includes hypothermia, frostbite or exposure. So if you're looking for any kind of medical accuracy you are so not going to find it here. I did do research (I love Wikipedia) and I've done my best to make Dean's, Jesse's, John's and coming characters conditions real, but please keep in mind that I am a lowly data entry clerk who just dabbles in the art of writing. Just wanted to forewarn you for this and the upcoming chapters with Dean roaming the frozen landscape.

Now on with the story.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 8 December 12**

John couldn't help but stare at the opening of the cave room. His son had only been gone for a little while. He should have reached the road by first light, but John knew that his son could be anywhere between here and the road. Hell he could even be whatever the monster dragged in for dinner last night for all he knew.

The older hunter shook his head and yanked hard on his chains once again. Pain flared in his wrists and shoulders and he relished it. He deserved it after all. What kind of parent does what he's done in the last couple of days to their nine year old son. His son could be anywhere. He could've misjudged the trail and fallen off the mountain, he could have been attacked by the snow monster, or any of the wildlife, or he could've made it to the road and been taken by the stranger that had stopped to "help" him.

John slammed his head against the wall of the cave to clear his head of all the imagined images of his son hurt or dead.

"Giving yourself a concussion will not help Dean," Jesse said softly.

"Well I certainly can't help him from here," John shot back. His head hurt, his body ached and he was freezing. But if he was this cold he knew his son was even colder out there.

"Look he did very well up until we got caught and even then he only went down after putting up a fight. He pulled more than his weight to get here. Dean's a very smart kid. He'll get help. He will. But you gotta have faith that he will make it and give him a chance to prove that your faith was well founded," Jesse said.

"How very pastor Jim of you," John snorted. "Next you'll be suggesting we offer up a group prayer."

Jesse shrugged making his chains rattle slightly. "Well if you think it will help."

John shook his head again. "God Jesse. What am I doing?"

"Well from here it looks like you're not a very patient man waiting for a rescue," Jesse quipped and then coughed deep and loud.

John looked at him for the first time in the dull light. Blood was seeping from his head wound and his eyes were glassy. "You ok dude?"

"Peachy," Jesse said with a wry grin. "You?"

"Never better," John said dryly.

"I never thought I'd have to be rescued by a nine year old. Man I save nine year olds from the things in their closets," Jesse said.

John chuckled. "Yeah well you can take solace in the fact that Dean's not your typical nine year old boy."

"That he isn't. He's a good kid, though and he can keep his temper," Jesse said.

"Well I think looking after Sammy has taught him patience if nothing else," John said and he suddenly he was missing both boys so much it physically hurt. At least his youngest was safe. If he got out of here he would keep Sammy safe and away from the hunt until he was in his late teens if it killed him.

"Sammmmy likesss it at Jims?" Jesse asked.

John looked over at the slurred words. "Yeah he does. Hey where'd that dog come from anyway?"

"Where Jim finds the ressst of us," Jesse said. "At the pound."

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Jim slept in until eight thirty. He'd stayed up with Sammy until the little one had cried himself to sleep around two in the morning. The child hadn't said anything aside from his brother's name the entire time he was crying. Angel had remained on the child's bed when Jim had finally gotten up. He'd only left the distraught boy when Sammy's chest had stopped hitching and he was sure the child was actually sleeping peacefully.

He quickly decided to forgo the Tai Chi regiment this morning and headed down the stairs intent on making a pot of coffee to help him start his day. He paused as he got to the bottom step and frowned slightly. There was the distinctive smell of brewed coffee. He felt relief wash over him and he sent up a prayer of thanks believing that the hunters had returned.

"Well it's about time," Jim said coming into the kitchen and stopped short. There was someone at his kitchen table but it wasn't the three hunters he'd sent off earlier that week.

"Hey Jim. Didn't know you were expecting me. If I had I would have driven straight through two days instead of grabbing a hotel night before last," the man quipped.

"Caleb. Well wonders never cease," he said as he moved forward and embraced the younger man.

"Well you know I missed your coffee and that it might be nice to see you for Christmas," Caleb offered wincing slightly at the tight hold the preacher had him in.

Jim pulled back and looked at the man he considered his own son. Caleb was bruised and bandaged.

"What was it this time? Bones? Shifter?" Jim asked.

"Angry father," Caleb said sheepishly.

"What?" Jim exclaimed.

"Hey she was legal. I saw her ID when she got into the club. She was twenty-one but still lives with her parents. When I brought her home he was waiting in the living room with a baseball bat," Caleb said. "I let him get a few shots in and then I took away the bat. One punch had him out cold and I left. He would've woken to a big headache, but nothing more."

Jim shook his head disapprovingly at him.

"Hey a guys gotta relax somehow, right? Sides it was a nasty poltergeist and it took me four days to get rid of the suckers," Caleb defended.

"Suckers?" Jim repeated.

"Yup. Five if I counted right," Caleb said and smiled. "Normally I wouldn't get tossed into so many walls, but hey it wasn't exactly a fair fight."

"Pastor Jim?" came a quiet voice from the door way.

"Morning Sammy," Jim said as he turned and looked at the child. Sammy was still pale and stood hesitantly at the door in his batman pyjamas.

"Hey kiddo. You remember me right?" Caleb asked.

Sammy took a slight step back out of the door.

Caleb smiled and held his bangs up so the child could see his face. "I'm your brother's favourite wresting partner. Remember?"

"Caleb?" Sammy whispered.

"In the flesh mighty warrior," he said in a loud voice.

Sammy blinked and swallowed heavily at the loud voice. "Pastor Jim? Am…am I next?"

"Next for what?" Jim asked.

"Hunting?" Sammy whispered going even paler.

"Oh no child we're not going hunting," Jim said and went over and picked him up. "Caleb just came to visit over Christmas."

Caleb watched the exchange between the two. This wasn't the normal Sammy he was used to. The Sammy he knew would bound into the kitchen like a tornado and babble at him until he had a headache. This Sammy was lethargic and Dean hadn't come into the room with him.

"Jim what's going on?" Caleb asked.

"It's been a long night," Jim said simply as he walked into the kitchen with Sammy in his arms. "Sammy had a bad dream about his brother."

"Ok. So where is Dean?" Caleb asked.

Sammy sniffed and stuck a finger into his mouth.

"Sammy you haven't sucked on your fingers since you were two years old," Jim said pulling his finger out of his mouth.

Sammy shifted and put his head on the Cleric's shoulder and sniffed again.

"Dean is out on a hunt with John and Jesse. There not quite due back yet," Jim said softly. "It's just been a long wait for Sammy."

"Ten days," Sammy whispered.

"They've been gone ten days?" Caleb asked. "Isn't Dean a little young to hunt? You didn't let me start until I was thirteen."

"Dean said they'd be gone for ten sleeps," Jim clarified. "Speaking of did you colour in your picture today?"

When Sammy shook his head no Jim put him down expecting the boy to go get his picture and colour it in. But the boy just stood there next to him.

"Sammy go sit at the table ok?" Jim asked.

Sammy slowly did as he was asked.

"So what does everyone want for breakfast?" Jim asked.

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Dean didn't know how long he had laid there trying to talk himself into getting up. But the complete silence was driving him crazy. He realized that he couldn't see the snow anymore and he cracked open an eye. Yup it was still there. The pristine cold white crap was everywhere. Barely lifting his head off the snow he tried to look around himself but all he could see is white broken up by splashes of red. He rolled onto his side and saw the mountain looming up in front of him. He suddenly flashed on the last memory of Jesse and his father chained to the wall. He had to keep moving.

He had to stop. He was too exhausted to do this. He hurt everywhere. It was too hard, too much to ask of him. He was just a child after all. He couldn't do this. He just wanted to give up.

Even as he was thinking of giving up he was slowly moving into a sitting position. He gasped at the sudden flare of pain in his shoulder. It took his breath away and black spots danced in his vision. He groaned and he was startled at how loud it sounded in the silence. It finally registered that the splatters of red that surrounded him is his frozen blood. Looking down at his clothing he saw that there were more rips in his clothing he decided that it didn't matter.

He had to do this. He can'tjust sit there waiting to freeze to death. He needs to get help. As he sat there shivering he steeled his resolve. He would do this and if he got moving he would get warm.

His breath came out as white puffs as he tried to figure out where they came out of the tree line. It all looked the same and he didn't even come off the trail at the right place. He almost panicked thinking that he needed to get back to Jesse's truck and the satellite phone then calmed as he remembered there will be traffic on the road they came in on. Slowly he got to his feet and started for the trees.

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Caleb put on cartoons for Sammy and told him to sit on the couch. Angel jumped up beside him and put her head on his thigh. Sammy reached out and ran his hand over the dog soft fur over and over as he stared at the TV.

Caleb went back to where Jim was watching.

"So you want to let me know what the Hell is going on?" Caleb demanded.

"Language son," Jim said.

"Sorry _Dad _but I'm a little stunned by the turn of events. Tell me. Where are they? Do they need help? I should go," Caleb said.

"Keep your voice down and steady Caleb. There's no point in spooking Sammy any more than he already is," Jim said softly. "It's a long story."

"Yeah I'll bet it is," Caleb said as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Come on. Long stores are best told over coffee," Jim said putting a hand on the nineteen year olds shoulder.

"Special coffee?" Caleb asked.

Jim gave him an incredulous look. "It's not even ten in the morning!"

"Yeah but it's only early if you've been to bed," Caleb said.

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Dean slogged his way through calf high snow. It hadn't seemed such a long walk yesterday even with his heavy pack on his shoulders. Letting himself stop or a second he thought about it. Was it just yesterday? How long had they been out in the cold? He shook his head and started to walk again. It didn't matter what day it was or how long they'd been out in the cold. All that mattered was getting help.

He hummed Metallica again if only to just make some kind of noise. He hated the quiet. It unnerved him that he couldn't even hear some kind of birds in the trees. That would be normal, this quiet just felt wrong.

Finally the snow began to fall away somewhat and didn't come over his boots. He hit solid ground that was dirt brown and not snow white. Dean raised his hand and rubbed at his eyes. He had a huge headache and wanted this adventure to be over and be in a snug bed. Somewhere safe with Sammy near him so he knew he was safe as well. Hunting sucked. And he actually giggled at that thought. The last time he told his father something sucked his father made him conjugate to suck in Latin.

Dean leaned up against a large tree just off the trail. He was light headed and was still giggling to himself. Wait. He was too old to giggle. That was Sammy's thing. Sammy giggled. Dean did not giggle. He felt himself slide down the bark of the tree until he landed on his butt. Then he started to conjugate to giggle in Latin. His eyes began to close on their own and he leaned his head back on the tree and fell asleep.

Dean woke a short time later shivering violently in the cold. He looked around himself and could see bright moon lit snow to his left and darkness to his right. What was he doing here? He thought about it for a moment. Right. He was a hunter now and he had to bring back help for his Dad and Jesse. He recognized that his thoughts were sluggish and took several deep breaths of the frigid air to help himself get alert.

Using his good hand he used the tree to help him to his feet. What was he doing when he stopped here for a break? Oh right he was conjugating Latin verbs or something. He continued on the list as he started to walk down the path in the early morning darkness.

He conjugated to suck, to giggle, to kill, to hunt, to play, to walk, to hike, to speak, to shiver, to be cold, and to be scared. When he ran out of words he moved onto Pig Latin. Hey it was still "Latin" after all. After several hours of word play spoken out loud to himself he staggered and fell over onto some bushes at the side of the path. Deciding that this was the softest bed he'd felt so far on this trek he closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep.


	9. Day 9 December 13th

**Disclaimer: **Just the standard. I own nothing recognizable in the following story including the Winchester family, Pastor Jim, Caleb or Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I will lay claim to the man (who will have a name in the next chapter), Jesse and Angel.

**Author's note:** Thanks to Lynxlan for her superfast beta of this yesterday so it could get posted today. This chapter is a little on the short side. Again just want to remind you all that I have absolutely no medical training or knowledge with the exception of how to wrap a sprained ankle and how to bandage a paper cut. So if you're looking for medical accuracy here and in the following chapters you won't find it. Sorry. I did my best to make it believable though.

Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 9 December 13**

John woke in the cave. It was cold but bright and he could make out more of his surroundings. It was quiet which meant the beast is either out or taking a nap. He hoped it was gone.

He wondered how his son was doing. Dean was so brave for a kid of nine years. But he knew realistically that Dean hadn't been a child for a long time. He spent far too much time looking after his younger brother to be a child. He wondered when was the last time they actually just went and did something as a family. Hanging his head in shamed exhaustion he realized it must have been when Mary was around. He couldn't remember the last time he'd taken his kids to the movies or to a zoo.

John sighed. He had to be the crappiest father on the face of the planet. If he ever got out of here he was going to do better. Treat them better. Treat them like children and not soldiers. He shivered violently in the cold. He knew it was from exposure and tried to keep himself awake.

He hoped Dean had found some help and was getting the medical attention he needed. The boy would have some early stages of hypothermia and frostbite. That was the only thing he was certain of.

He needed to get out of here and to his boys. There was a promise to fulfill with his youngest.

"_We'll be back before Christmas Sammy. I promise."_

His own words mocked him. He yanked hard on the chains some more making the pain flare from his hands all the way up to his shoulders. He grunted at the fiery pain and yanked harder on the chains until the blood was flowing freely down his wrists. He ignored the sensation and kept pulling almost seeing the pain as penance for what he was putting his children through.

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Dean woke several hours later on the ground. Damnit! He wasn't supposed to take naps on the job. He sluggishly got to his feet and continued down the trail. It was easier to see now that the sun was rising.

As he walked through the woods he hoped that this trail was the same one they walked in on. But the trees and bushes all looked the same and he had been walking for so long that he had started to think that there was no end to the trail. He was cold, alone and afraid. He was shaking badly from the cold but his hands, feet and face are so cold that he can no longer feel them. The good news is that his arm and shoulder no longer hurt. He won't let himself think about the bad.

As he walked he felt his eyes close and the world went away for a few seconds. He opened them and narrowly avoided tripping over a root. He continued in that way for quite some time until he lost his footing and fell into some bushes. They didn't stop his momentum this time and he ended up rolling with the downhill grade. Suddenly the world brightened as he burst out of the forest and landed in a soft pile of icy snow.

Dean swore out loud in Latin, shook his head and swore a long streak of words in English. He was shaking from the cold and falling into the snow was like a cold slap in the face. He blinked several times to get his bearings. He was astonished to find that he'd made it to the road. The next instant he was crest fallen as he realized that Jesse's truck was no where in sight. The road was empty of any vehicles and the road was completely covered in snow with only a few tread marks on it.

The only way Dean was sure he'd made it to the road was the road sign next to him. Amazingly enough the sign called out that it was slippery when wet.

"Yeah," Dean said in a hoarse voice. "That's a shocker."

He looked up and down the roadway for a moment unsure which direction to go. He shrugged and went to his right and walked down the road.

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Pastor Jim woke Sammy and led him downstairs. He began to stretch and Sammy watched him for a moment before he followed his movements. After they had warmed up Jim set himself in the proper stance and waited for Sammy to follow. When the little boy was ready he started the movements. Sammy watched him intently for a full rotation through the moves before he started following along. His moves were jerky and quick as if he wasn't paying attention. But Jim knew he was doing his best and let him move at his own pace today.

When they were done their routine he made Sammy some cereal and coffee for himself before getting ready to go to the church. Today started his really busy schedule. There are two pageants, a choir concert and an extra service this year just for children.

He was ready to leave and was leaning against the counter considering whether or not to go wake Caleb and leave Sammy with him or to take the little boy with him to the office. He had just made the decision to get Sammy dressed when Caleb stumbled into the kitchen and mumbled something about coffee.

"It's in the spot it's usually in," Jim said. "Can you watch Sammy today or should I take him with me?"

Sammy looked up from his soggy breakfast cereal and watched the exchange between the two men.

"No problem. I can watch him. Mind staying with me kiddo?" Caleb asked.

Sammy shook his head no and looked down.

"Make him toast or something," Jim said. "I'll be back later ok Sammy?"

Sammy nodded without looking up.

Caleb shrugged. "We manly men will find a way to amuse ourselves, won't we Sammy?"

Sammy shrugged and Caleb looked under the table to see what he had found so interesting. Angel was under the table looking up at Sammy. Caleb could've sworn that they were having a staring contest.

Caleb looked at Jim. "We'll take Angel for a walk, do some colouring, redecorate the living room with some artistic creativity…"

"You'll do no such thing to my living room young man," Jim said as he raised an eye brow. "The last time you said you would redecorate you and Dean covered the room with silly string."

"Hey it was his idea after all," Caleb said.

"Yeah you were just sorry it wasn't yours," Jim said as he shook his head.

"It was a good idea," Caleb defended.

Jim sighed. "All right. I'll be back later boys," he said and was gone.

Caleb prepared himself some coffee and then sat at the table across from the little boy.

"So Sammy what do you say we call up a couple of girls and have a play date?" Caleb asked got a disgusted look from the kid.

"I'm too young to date and Daddy says you should know better," Sammy said around a yawn.

The hunter looked at the child confused. "I should know better?" he repeated.

"Yeah he says those floosies will be your undoing," Sammy said and pushed away his cereal.

"Floosies?" Caleb repeated turning slightly red. "Do you know what a floosie is Sammy?"

"No. But Dean says," Sammy started to say but then stopped abruptly.

"Miss your big brother, huh?" Caleb asked.

Sammy looked up with him with big sad watery eyes.

"Hey don't try using those puppy eyes on me. They won't work. I'm immune," he said proudly. "You know when your brother was five years old he had the same look."

"Really?" Sammy asked.

"Yup he sure did. But you work it better though," Caleb said.

When Sammy only looked at him Caleb sighed.

"So what do you want to do today kiddo?" he asked.

Sammy shrugged then brightened, "Can I call Daddy?" he asked.

"I'd like to do that Sammy but I don't know how to reach him," Caleb said. "How about we take the mutt here for a walk?"

Sammy's brows furrowed. "Angel is not a mutt. She is a sheltie," he said indignantly.

Caleb rolled his eyes. "Ok why don't we take the _sheltie_ here for a walk?"

Sammy shrugged.

"Great. Get your jacket."

"I'm in my pyjamas. I can't go out in my pyjamas," Sammy said.

"Ok. Go get dressed and then get your jacket," Caleb said.

Sammy frowned but got down from the table and headed upstairs.

"Well this is gonna be a lot of fun," Caleb sighed and took a long drink of his coffee.

An hour later they returned home. Sammy hadn't said a word the entire time they were gone and had dragged his feet for the entire walk with Angel pulling on the lead.

Caleb helped him out of his jacket and as he did he realized that the kid hadn't laughed or smiled the entire time he'd been up. This kid was usually a bundle of yelling, giggling, happy energy. Caleb helped him out of his boots then got out of his own outerwear. Sammy left the kitchen and turned on the TV and watched a cartoon.

0000000000000

Dean had been walking and stumbling up the road for the entire day. Not one car had driven past him but he wasn't surprised. The road looked like it hadn't been travelled on since they arrived. There were almost no tire tracks on the road at all. It meant the only way he was going to get help for Dad and Jesse is if he finds the truck and get the satellite phone.

He looked down at the road as he concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. And the song about putting one foot in front of the other from that Rudolf cartoon started playing out in his head. All he saw down there was ice and snow. All he heard was the crunch of ice and snow under his boots.

He stumbled and landed hard on his knees. It was almost as if he had been sleep walking through the day. He'd fallen multiple times throughout the day on the road but when he fell this time he tore through his jeans and thermal underwear. His knees started to bleed freely but he didn't notice the injury.

Dean had barely registered that he had fallen before he stood up on unsteady rubbery legs and continued down the road. He doesn't know how long he had been walking and he doesn't care. He wasn't even sure if he was walking in a straight line.

He wanted to just sit down at the side of the road and fall asleep. But he couldn't. He had to get help for Jesse and Dad. Then he had to get to Sammy. He wondered how many fingers Sammy had coloured in and how many he had left before he got home to his little brother.

He thought he heard a truck engine and before he could get himself to turn around he fell once more. This time instead of tripping his legs had given out from pure exhaustion. With what little energy he had left he rolled himself onto his back. He blinked rapidly as he tried to clear his blurry vision.

A man's face slowly came into view and he was saying something.

"Hey are you ok?" the man asked softly as he knelt down by the little boy in the middle of the road.

The man looked fuzzy and Dean couldn't make out what he was saying. But he could tell him to help his father.

"Help them," Dean whispered.

"Help who?" the man asked as he looked the boy over. He looked terrible and at a glance he could tell the child had multiple serious injuries.

"In the cave," Dean mumbled and it was all he could muster as he stared up at the man.

"Ok we will. Just hold on buddy. I'm going to help you, ok?" he said as he picked up the child.

Believing he got the message across and not caring what the man did to him he allowed himself to fall asleep.


	10. Day 10 December 14th

**Disclaimer: **Just the standard. I own nothing recognizable in the following story including the Winchester family, Pastor Jim, Caleb or Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I will lay claim to Jesse, Angel, Don, Eric and Shane. I hope you like these characters.

**Author's note:** Thanks to Lynxlan for her incredible beta skills and her seemingly infinite patience. I have absolutely no medical training or knowledge with the exception of how to wrap a sprained ankle and how to bandage a paper cut. So if you're looking for medical accuracy here and in the following chapters you won't find it. Sorry. I did my best to make it believable though.

Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 10 December 14**

Don was a simple man. He had almost everything he needed in the quiet back country he lived in. He missed his wife dearly. She'd died giving birth to his twin sons Eric and Shane. It was a long time ago but he especially missed her at Christmas. It had been Beth's favourite time of year and the house had always glowed with her love of the season.

He had taken his teens out yesterday to find the perfect Christmas tree as was their tradition. It had taken all day but they had found it and were on their way home late in the afternoon. At first he thought he'd been seeing things when he spotted the young boy stumbling his way down the old back road then falling down. He told the boys to stay in the car and got out to check on him. He was shocked to find tears frozen on the boy's cheeks, bruising and torn clothing. He had tried to talk to the boy but he only mumbled some words most of which he couldn't make out. Then he'd passed out.

One look at the boy and he knew he'd been out in the cold for far too long. He'd picked him up and hurried back to the truck. He had his boys cover the child with their jackets and his coat and then he'd blasted the heat. He drove down to the main road but found it blocked by a recent avalanche from the snow storms in the last couple of days. There was no way to get to the small town hospital and he had known that they were on their own to save this child.

He had a lot of first aid training including how to treat exposure, frostbite and hypothermia. But he'd never seen a case with a child before. He'd taken the first aid for when he'd been working on the rigs up in Alaska and that was a very long time ago. Years before his sons were born. But he kept up with his first aid training. It was useful in the country when help sometimes couldn't come right away.

So he'd brought the child back to his log cabin home and stripped him down to his shorts. Telling his sons to bring him the first aid kit and extra blankets. Shane returned a moment later with the first aid kit. He already had it open and was removing the Heat Wave packs. Don gently lowered the boy into Eric's bed and took a moment to try and remember where the packs went. As he gently put the packs onto the boy he murmured to himself. "Carotid," as he put it on either side of his neck, "Brachial," as he put the pack at the arm pits and "Femoral," as he placed the pack on the groin. He pulled the sheet over top of the boy then looked at Shane. The boy nodded at him as he took off his shoes and jacket.

He watched as Shane crawled into the bed with the boy. Shane carefully distributed his weight around the boy so he wouldn't hurt him. Don covered the boys with the blankets that were on the bed.

"Talk to him Shane. Let him know he's safe. He was awake on the road so I'm hoping he hasn't been out in the cold for too long," Don said.

Eric came into the room with all the extra blankets he could find. Don took one at a time and put them overtop of the bed.

"Good job guys," Don said to his boys.

Shane was talking quietly to the boy and Eric was standing beside his father.

Don had left the room long enough to get a chair from the kitchen and try to call out for help. The phone lines were out no doubt to the recent storms. He had returned to the room and sat there all night watching over the young boy. After a couple of hours he had Eric relive Shane. Eric took up right where Shane left off and talked to the boy non-stop.

That was hours ago and the boy hadn't wakened. Don got up and picked up the phone to find out he still had no dial tone.

He hung up the phone. They had to get medical attention for this boy but he couldn't call out and he couldn't get to town. As much as he didn't like it there was only one option. He turned to find Eric was standing there.

"Shane just switched with me," Eric said and yawned. "Is the doctor coming?"

Don shook his head. "Phone's out."

"I'll go get him Dad. I can take the skidoo. It will work the best in this weather anyway," Eric said.

Don reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks pal but I don't like the idea of you being out there alone. No I'll go. But you can help me unload the tree and load up the skidoo just in case. Let me just go tell your brother what's happening."

0000000000000

Caleb had been doing his best with little Sammy but he was not accustomed to looking after children. He was used to the kid being hyper and always moving. Since the nightmare Jim had told him about Sammy had been increasingly distant and internal. He would answer direct questions or do what he was asked to do. But Caleb was out of his league with this unnaturally quiet Sammy.

Caleb could only stand to watch the boy stare blankly at the TV for so long. He felt compelled to get the little guy out of the shell he'd worked himself into.

The only thing Caleb did better than hunting and chasing women is drawing. So he drew a few pictures for Sammy to colour. A Nativity Scene purely for Pastor Jim's benefit, kids on a playground, A Christmas scene in a cozy room with a fireplace and a Christmas tree, and an outdoor scene with a lake, tent, trees and mountain.

"Hey kiddo," he said softly putting himself between Sammy and the TV. "I know Thundercats is exciting and a great cartoon. But I think there's a limit on TV watching."

Sammy nodded.

"I drew you some pictures. Want to come and colour them?" Caleb asked.

Sammy shook his head.

"You know Dean used to love to colour in my pictures. Course back then we didn't have Thundercats, but I just drew some pictures that Dean used to like to colour. Want to see them," Caleb said.

Sammy looked away from Caleb.

"Look I know you miss your Daddy and Dean but they'll be home soon. 'Sides you know as well as I do that Dean would be mad if you were just sitting around and doing nothing. Right," Caleb said.

Sammy nodded.

Caleb stood up and gave the boy space to get off the couch. Silently he walked over to the table and sat down. He looked up expectantly at the older man.

"I drew a few for you to choose from," Caleb started. "Or you can colour them all if you want."

Slowly he spread the pictures out on the table for Sammy to look at and waited for the child to choose one.

Sammy looked at them and took the Nativity picture first and coloured it very carefully. Caleb noticed he took great pains to keep in the lines of the picture. When he was done he pushed it to the side then looked at Caleb expectantly as if he wanted the older man to chose for him.

Caleb waited him out and finally Sammy chose the Christmas scene. Again he carefully coloured the picture and added one purple crude stick figure with blue tears dripping from the face to the floor. He put that picture on top of the Nativity scene and looked at the pictures that were left.

He took the outside picture and stared at the drawing sadly. He looked up at Caleb who had carefully kept his face blank. Sammy got up from the table and walked over the few steps to the nineteen year old. He handed the page to Caleb who took it from him and set it on the table. Sammy held his hands up and Caleb pulled the boy into his lap.

"Finish," Sammy said as he looked up at Caleb.

"What do you mean Sammy? It looks finished to me," Caleb said as he looked down at the picture. "Tell me what's missing and I can add it."

Caleb heard Jim walk in and stand in the doorway behind them. He didn't acknowledge him but he knew he was watching.

"It's missing the white monster," Sammy said and put his head onto Caleb's shoulder.

Caleb frowned and looked over to where Jim was standing. Neither man knew what to do with this.

0000000000000

Don drove as far as he could on the only road that went to the Doc's house get before the road was blocked. He had expected this. With all the snow of the past week there had been a small avalanche and it stopped him from going any farther with his truck. He got out of his vehicle and struggled to get the skidoo off the back of the truck. It took a lot of time and by the time he was done night had fallen. He started it up and headed to the doctor's house.

0000000000000

Sammy barely ate his dinner. Jim was accustomed to Sammy being a picky eater but he usually ate more than five bites of food. If he got one mouthful of food down Jim would be surprised.

When dinner was over Caleb took Sammy to the couch and put on his favourite Christmas movie - Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. Angel jumped up on the couch and sat next to Sammy. Caleb joined them on the couch with pencil and paper. Seeing how intently Sammy was watching the movie he started to draw a wraith he encountered a few jobs back for Jim. He'd been drawing a series of demons for Jim's monster library he had hidden in the church along with all his weapons. Caleb smiled slightly. If the parishioners only knew.

When the white snow monster appeared on screen Sammy screamed loud and long. He jumped off the couch and ran into his room slamming the door behind him. Angel was on his heels and just missed having the door slammed in her face. She whined and paced in front of the door before digging at the crack between the door and floor to get in.

Jim and Caleb rushed up to the room and opened the door. Sammy was face down in his pillow his shoulders were trembling as he sobbed.

Jim sat on the bed and pulled Sammy onto his lap. The boy tried to squirm away but gave up and went limp in Pastor Jims' arms.

"They're dead. It killed them. They're dead," Sammy cried over and over.

Caleb sat down on the bed beside them as Angel jumped up onto the bed.

"Why would you think such a thing?" Caleb asked.

"I dreamed it," Sammy said. "Daddy and Jesse were being eaten alive by a white snow monster and D-D-Dean was at the bottom of a mountain. He's dead under the snow."

"Sammy it was just a dream. It doesn't mean it's real," Jim said.

"Some dreams come real," Sammy said. "I dreamed we would be here for Christmas."

Caleb frowned. "Yeah but that was just a coincidence kiddo. It doesn't mean that because you had a nightmare that it would come true."

Sammy just shook his head. He had quietened down but the tears were still flowing freely.

Caleb quietly left the room and put in a call into Joshua. It was two days early but he'd had a bad feeling about this hunt since he got here. There was no way Dean was ready for this and being so young on a hunt could only spell trouble. If he and Sammy were wrong it would just make John mad. An angry John he could handle, Lord knows he'd made him mad often enough over the years. He knew he couldn't deal with John being dead.


	11. Day 11 December 15th

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing. Nothing I tell you! Nothing! Well nothing recognizable anyway which include The Winchester family, Pastor Jim, or Caleb. I believe the only thing I own is my heart stopping Visa bill. I will lay claim to Jesse, Angel, Don, Eric and Shane.

**Author's note:** Thanks to lynxlan for betaing the following story. And just as a reminder I know nothing about medical stuff so you won't find anything accurate with the recovery of all of the hunters. But I tried to make it believable.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 11 December 15**

Sammy got out of bed. He slowly got dressed and went downstairs expecting to see pastor Jim in the living room stretching before starting Tai Chi. But he wasn't there. Sammy did a little stretching and went through a couple of moves but paused when he couldn't remember the next ones. He started from the beginning again only to stop after a few moves. He stood there frowning at Angel as if he expected her to tell him what the next steps were. The little dog just lay there panting and wagging her tail as she watched the boy right back.

"Geez you fall out of bed squirt or what?" Caleb said as he came down the stairs still half asleep.

"Pastor Jim and me do these things," Sammy said.

"Oh yeah? What kind of things?" the nineteen year old asked.

"Stuff like this," Sammy said and showed a move that he did remember. The first one that the pastor had showed him.

"Oh. Tai Chi. Yeah Jim showed me those moves too. So why aren't you doing it?" Caleb asked as he rubbed at this eyes.

"I don't remember all the moves," he said.

Caleb nodded. "All right. Just give me a second. Do some stretches or something and I'll be right back."

Sammy nodded and did the stretches that Dean had taught him to do. He made him do it every time Dean had to learn a fighting move. He wasn't allowed to learn how to fight yet but Dean involved him by getting him to stretch with him. It came in handy when their Dad just made them do laps around the motel they were staying in to let off extra energy.

A few moments later Caleb was back. He had changed out of his jeans and into sweats.

"Ok are you all warmed up?" he asked.

"Yup," Sammy said.

Caleb did a few stretches of his own and looked at the boy. "Get into your stance."

Sammy did. Caleb straightened his pose and then stood beside him. "Ready?" He asked.

When Sammy nodded Caleb took a deep breath and relaxed his stance. He started the first movement and saw Sammy out of the corner of his eye matching his movements.

When they were done Caleb gave him a piggy back ride into the kitchen. Caleb set him down at the table and started a pot of coffee.

"So what do you want to have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs or cereal cause that's about all I can make," Caleb said and shrugged.

"Caleb what's gonna happen to me now that Daddy and Dean are gone?" he asked softly.

Caleb looked at the small boy at the table. "Sammy just because you had a dream does not mean it's going to come true, ok?"

"It didn't feel like a dream. It felt like I was in the cave and then standing by Dean in the snow. I felt so cold but I couldn't help them," Sammy said. "Will you look after me?"

Caleb snorted. "Buddy take a good look at me. I can barely look after myself let alone a really smart five year old," he said and then walked over to the table. He pulled out the chair beside the boy and sat down moving Sammy's chair so the boy would look at him.

"Listen up kiddo. What you had was a nightmare and it wasn't real. It may have felt real, like you could've reached out and touched them in the cave or in the snow but it's not real. And until we have any other evidence we will believe they are coming home, ok?" Caleb said.

Sammy just looked up at him with big shinny eyes. "But why would I dream it if it wasn't true? Daddy knows this man that can see into the future," he whispered.

"Yeah there are seers out there but they are extremely rare. And even if someday you will be able to see the future you are far too young to have any kind of power. They only come to life once you're a teenager," Caleb said sternly and hoping the kid didn't know he was lying. The nineteen year old knew nothing about people who could see into the future but he was pretty certain that Sammy didn't have the sight.

"Really?" Sammy asked then furrowed his brow. "Are you sure?"

"Yup. Totally sure. 'Sides I'm older so I'm always right," Caleb said.

"Ok," Sammy said.

Caleb looked at him in surprise.

Sammy shrugged. "Dean's older than me and he's always right. He even says so."

Caleb laughed. "Of course he does."

0000000000000

Eric and Shane had been trading off warming up Dean with their body warmth until their father returned with the doctor. Dr. Klein shooed the boys away and treated Dean's superficial wounds and looked after his frostbitten hands and face. He was pleased that the child's body temperature had risen nicely and he was hopeful that he would make a full recovery.

The doctor put his stethoscope back into his bag as well as the left over supplies. "You and your boys have done a great job here. I can see vast improvements from what you said his condition was when you found him. He has a long way to go before he's at one hundred percent but I'm certain he will make a full recovery."

"When will he wake up?" Don asked.

"Well he could wake up now or ten hours from now. Whatever this child has been through it hasn't been pretty. If you hadn't had found him odds are he would have died from exposure," the doctor said sadly. "Bring those kids back in here will you? They can continue to help bring his core temperature up. Those hot packs were a good idea, but I don't want to continue to use them. See here? They're a little to hot for his skin. So if you and your boy's are ok with it I'd like them to continue to warm the boy."

"Yeah sure," Don said. "Boys!"

The door opened suddenly and they walked into the room.

"Heard every word, huh?" Don asked.

Shane looked completely innocent but Eric had the good grace to blush slightly as he brushed past his father and got under the covers.

"What am I going to do with you," Don said as he ruffled Shane's hair.

"You sure he's going to be ok Doc?" Shane asked as he ducked away from his father's hand.

"Given time he'll be fine," the Doctor said.

"Sammy," Dean mumbled in the bed as he moved next to Eric.

"Who's Sammy," Eric asked softly.

Dean smiled slightly. "Baby brother."

"Where is he? Is he in the woods?" Eric asked.

"With Pastor Jim," Dean mumbled. "Have to get to him."

"What's your name?" Eric asked but got no response. He looked over to his Dad.

"It's ok Eric. Just keep talking to him," Don said.

Eric nodded and then turned his attention back to the little boy. He started to talk quietly to him again.

"I know the pastor's name out here is Michael so that confirms the boy is not from here," the Doctor said.

"Yeah but maybe Pastor Michael knows a Pastor Jim from another church. It's worth a try, right?" Don asked.

Shane nodded. "I'll try the phone Dad."

Shane returned a moment later and just shook his head.

0000000000000

John wondered what day it was. He had lost all track of time. Light was scarce and he didn't know when he woke from one time to the next how long he'd been out.

He missed his boys. Sammy was safe but he had purposely put Dean in harms way. God what had he been thinking. The boy was only nine years old. John shook his head. He knew what he was thinking. He didn't see Dean as a nine year old child. He saw him almost as an extension of himself. Dean was an adult and did the things that John couldn't find time for. He left him to take of Sammy when he hunted. Dean cooked, cleaned and did the laundry. Never once had the boy complained. John had been no where near as responsible as his oldest when he was nine. In fact he did nothing but disobey his father's orders at the age of nine. Until his father had beat the rebellious streak out of him.

He hadn't really thought twice about bringing his oldest son on the hunt. Dean had shown an aptitude for the skills required for the hunt. When he picked up his first gun and took a shot he hit a bulls eye. Every round. When he was taught how to shoot a bow and arrow he hit a bulls eye. Every time. He cleaned the weapons with precision and John was never worried that Dean carried a clean gun. Hell Dean's gun was cleaner than his own weapon and his weapon was always clean.

Mary would have strongly disapproved of how he was raising their boys. He wished she was here. He wished she was with him and the boys every day. If she was here things would be a lot different, they'd be normal. He'd would be working in his own garage. The boys would be in school and have friends. Neither one would know about the world of the supernatural, hunting or how to handle weapons. Dean would actually be a child.

As he began to slip into sleep he wondered if Mary was watching over him or their sons at that very moment. He hoped that if she was near that she was with Dean and not with him.

0000000000000

Joshua pulled off the highway and into a motel parking lot. He checked himself into a room and lit a lantern to light the room. He'd known the power was out as soon as he'd gotten to the outskirts of town and the road lights were not working. Picking up the phone to check in with Jim he didn't get a dial tone. Joshua returned to his truck and pulled out his satellite phone and dialed Jim's number.

"Hello?" Caleb said.

"Caleb? Jeez kid it's been a while. How are you?" Joshua asked.

"I'm fine Josh. Are you freezing your butt off yet?" Caleb asked. "Jim and I are just sitting here with our feet up in front of a roaring fire."

"You're funny kid. Put your Dad on would you?" Joshua asked.

"He's not," Caleb started before he got cut off.

"Ok, ok," Joshua said before Caleb could start on a tirade. "Could you put the man who basically housed, fed, raised and trained you on the phone?"

"Fine," Caleb groused and handed the phone to Jim.

Jim gave him a funny look as he took the phone from Caleb and the boy stormed out of the room. "Hello Josh. Nice timing," Jim said.

"Sorry. Forgot what this time of year is like for the kid," Joshua said.

"Yeah well it's not easy to see your parents killed almost right in front of you by a wraith. Ten years may seem like along time but I'm sure it seems like yesterday to him. Look he's a tough kid and he'll be ok Josh. I've been keeping him busy with Sammy. How's it looking on your end?" Jim asked.

"Dark," Josh said. "There's no power and the phone lines are still down. I'm not sure how much longer this battered old phone is going to work Jim. I'll be renting a skidoo in the morning and heading out. There's been a bunch of small avalanches that have closed down several roads. I'll be lucky if I can get out when this is done."

"I see. What do you think their chances are?" Jim asked.

"Depends. They are probably just fine. Dean's probably just learning some survival training after taking out whatever monster it was they were hunting. But if there have been issues their chances are slim. It would depend on what condition the men are in. If Dean's hurt they could easily get out with him. If either or both of the men are hurt well then it gets dicey but I don't have to tell you that do I?"

"No you don't," Jim said and sighed. "Look just find them and get them back here as soon as you can. They need to be here for Christmas, ok?"

"Count on it," Joshua said. "I'll have them back before little Sammy can miss them."

"Too late," Jim said.

"Hmm. Well just tell him to hang in there. His family will be home soon," Joshua said.

"Hey Josh thanks for doing this. I know you've been working though a lot of your own stuff right now," Jim said.

"Don't mention it. I think Anna needed a few days to let everything sink in," Joshua said.

"So you did tell her," Jim said.

"Yeah I told her. At first she thought I'd gone nuts while we were apart," Josh said.

"You were already nuts," Jim teased.

"Yeah thanks," Josh said as he chuckled. "But when Matt backed me up she went on overdrive."

"Overdrive?" Jim repeated.

"Oh yeah. Matt brought props," Josh said.

"He didn't," Jim said.

"Oh but he did. Lots of weapons, counter spells, holy water, salt, you name it he had it. I can't imagine what he had in his truck that he didn't bring in with him," Joshua said.

"Did she leave?" Jim asked.

"No. I'll give her that. She's sticking around, well at least for now. Told her I had a job to do. Other hunters were in trouble and I had to help them. She told me to watch my back and get home as soon as I could. Promised she would be there. I think she's pretty freaked but handling it the best she can," Josh said.

"You're a lucky man. Most don't stick around," Jim said.

"Yeah I know," Joshua said. "Look I'll be heading out tomorrow Jim. I'm not promising anything but I will check in as soon as I know something, ok?"

"Yeah all right. Thanks for doing this Josh. I owe you one," Jim said.

"No you don't owe me anything. Just the opposite old friend. Be in touch soon," Josh said and turned off his phone. He looked out the motel window at the dark parking lot and could only see himself in the reflection.


	12. Day 12 December 16th

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing. Well nothing recognizable anyway which include The Winchester family, Pastor Jim, Caleb, Superman, Evil Knievel or the Hardy Boys. I will lay claim to Jesse, Angel, Don, Eric and Shane.

**Author's note:** Thanks to lynxlan for betaing the following story. And just as a reminder I know nothing about medical stuff so you won't find anything accurate with the recovery of all of the hunters. But I tried to make it believable.

Now on with the story.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 12 December 16**

Don quietly walked into Eric's room with an armful of candles. He put one down on the boys desk and lit it. Then he continued around the area until the area was bathed in flickering candle light. He looked over at his son who was sitting by his bed reading a Hardy Boys' mystery book out loud.

Eric stopped reading and met his gaze and shrugged. "I ran out of things to say," he said.

Don smiled. "I think it's a great idea. Do you need more light? I can pull out the lantern from the camping gear," he offered.

"No it's ok. This flashlight is working fine enough," Eric said.

"Just like most nights?" Don asked.

"You knew about that?" Eric asked. He figured his father ever knew that he would stay up late and read a Hardy Boys mystery with his flashlight under the covers.

Don just shook his head and gave a wry smile. "I'm your Dad. I still know everything," he said.

"Yeah, right," Eric said matching his father's smile.

Don laughed. "Let me know if you need anything," he said and at his boy's nod he left the room.

Eric reached over and pulled the covers up a little higher around the sleeping boy. A few hours earlier the doctor had announced that he was happy with the boy's core temp and stopped the boys from warming the small body. But insisted that they add more blankets to the bed in their place. Neither teen wanted to leave the child alone and they were still taking turns sitting with him.

Eric brought his book back up and began reading again. He heard the blankets shift slightly and he looked over to see Dean slowly wake up.

"Hey there's the man of the moment," Eric said softly as he put the book down. "How are you feeling?"

Dean blinked at him trying to figure out who he was. When he couldn't figure it out he slowly looked around the room. Nothing was familiar.

"Hey it's ok. You're safe here. I'm just going to get the doctor, ok? Hang tight buddy," Eric said softly. He got up and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

"Hey who started the party without me?" He said and three faces turned to look at him. "The little boy's awake."

They all got up and went back into the room.

Dean's eyes widen when room filled with people he didn't know. He pushed back in the bed slightly trying to sit up but he didn't have the strength to move yet. He couldn't figure out how he'd gotten there.

Don sat down beside him on the bed. "Hey there. How are you feeling big guy?" He asked.

Dean just looked at him. He was supposed to be doing something he just couldn't remember what it was.

The doctor was standing beside the bed with a mug in his hand. "Young man you are suffering from hypothermia. Thanks to this gentleman here you will live to play another day."

Dean scowled at him. What was with that ridiculous accent. When was the last time he actually got to play? Really play without having the responsibility of watching over Sammy at the same time.

"Hey," Don said to get his attention. "We need to get some water into you. I'm going to help you sit up, all right?"

Dean took a really good look at the man. He felt like he was an excellent judge of character and the man looked ok. He nodded.

"Ok," Don said. He pulled the covers back slightly, put his hands under his arms and pulled him up slightly. The doctor moved the pillows and Don guided Dean to lie back against them. Then he tucked the blankets back around him.

"You will slowly drink all of the sweet water that's in this mug," the doc said. "Do you think you can hold the mug?"

Did he think he could hold the mug? Seriously who was this guy? Dean thought and nodded. Of course he could hold onto a mug. Who was this clown?

Dean pulled his arm out from under the covers and went to take the mug. He paused and stared at his hand as it began to shake.

"You know that's ok," Don said quickly. "Why don't you let me help you with that, huh? I'm sure you're still really cold."

Don waited as Dean put his arm under the blanket and he pulled the heavy material back over the boy. "Just take some small sips, ok?" He coaxed as he brought the mug up to Dean's lips.

When Dean had gotten a few small mouthfuls of water into him Don smiled and pulled the mug away. "Good job buddy."

Dean scowled at him uncomfortable with the man's praise. He made it sound like he'd just figured out how to tie his shoes.

"Can you tell me what your name is?" Don asked.

Dean looked around him and found four faces staring at him. He was seriously getting uncomfortable with the staring contest.

"Hey," Don said gently trying to get the boy's attention back to him. "Can you tell me your name?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Dean."

"Well Dean it's nice to be able to talk to you. Do you remember what happened over the last couple of days?"

Dean looked away as he tried to think back. It was fuzzy. He knew he was supposed to be doing something. Suddenly he realized he was alone. Sammy was almost always with him.

"Sammy?" he said as he looked at the man sitting next to him. "Is he here?"

Don shook his head. "No. We only found you."

"Who is this Pastor Jim?" the doctor asked.

Dean looked over at him and closed his eyes as he relaxed against the pillows. "He - he's looking after Sammy. Sammy's ok."

"Sammy's your little brother, right?" Eric asked. "I got one of them too."

"Only by five minutes," Shane said as he smacked Eric across the shoulder.

"Boys I think maybe you should go make some coffee or something," Don said.

Dean watched them leave the room and turned back to Don. "Is my dad here?" he asked softly.

"No," Don said softly. "We only found you. You were wandering down a back road. Can you tell me what you were doing out there?"

Dean blinked a few times as he slowly began to remember. A truck. Jesse's truck. He'd been looking for Jesse's truck. He was supposed to get the satellite phone and call for help

"It's ok if you don't remember. It'll come to you," Don said gently.

Suddenly Dean sat forward. "You have to help them," he said his eyes wide with fear.

Don put a hand on his upper arm. "Easy big guy. It's ok. Who needs help? Your Dad?"

Dean was breathing heavy now. Panicking that he'd wasted too much time. "You have to help Dad and Jesse."

"We will buddy. Just relax," Don said as he gently pushed Dean back onto the pillows. "We'll help them I promise. Take it easy."

"No! It's been too long," Dean said his voice wavering. "They're going to die out there!"

"Hey no one's going to die if we can help it. We'll get to them I promise. But you need to calm down enough to give me the details so I can help them, ok," Don said and watched as Dean took a few steadying breaths. "Where are they Dean?"

"We were camping and hiking. Dad used to be in the Marines. I kept asking him about his time and what he did when he was serving. So he thought it would be a good idea to take me on a survival hike," Dean started coughing.

Don brought the mug up to his lips and let Dean take a few sips. "So you, your Dad and Jesse were out in the snow camping."

"We were on the mountain and we found this cave. So we went in to explore it," Dean said then paused for a moment to make sure he was clear on the story his Father told him just in case something went wrong. "Dad and Jesse were further in the cave than I was. They were checking it out to make sure it was safe. I heard something behind me so I started to turn around and something hit me. The next thing I knew I was waking up tied to the wall by a chain.

"Dad and Jesse were on the other wall. They were," Dean paused for a moment looking away from Don. "They were covered in blood. I was so cold and scared. I just wanted to be beside my Dad. I tried to stand but I couldn't seem to do it so I pulled hard on the chains and fell to the ground. I guess my wrists were too small for the … the…" Dean paused again looking for the right word. When he couldn't find it he looked up at Don as he pulled his arms out from under the blankets and encircled one hand around his gauze wrapped wrist.

Don nodded. "Your wrists were too small for the restraints they'd been put into. Dean were you about half way up the mountain?"

"Yeah I think so," he said slowly. "It was an awfully big mountain."

"Yeah. Mountains usually are," Don said and stood up.

"Give me a moment. I'll get some gear together. The boys can stay and we'll go," the Doc said.

"No. We'll need one of them. Especially when there are two injured men," Don said.

Dean felt exhausted from telling what happened. He was watching the exchange between the two men and trying to hold back the tears. He was sure he'd taken too long. He pulled the covers closer. It was still cold even under all of the blankets.

Don looked over at him and his expression softened. "Hey it'll be ok."

"They looked really bad. There was so much blood," Dean blurted out before he could stop himself. "They couldn't move away from the wall like I could."

"We'll bring them back, ok? Eric will be staying with you and when the phone lines are up you can call your mom, all right?" Don offered.

Dean looked away. He wished he could talk to her right now. He'd give anything for her to be here right now. A tear slipped down his cheek and he wiped it away angrily. Hunters didn't cry.

"Hey now what's that about?" Don asked.

"Mom's dead," Dean said softly. "Dad and Sammy are all I have. Now they'll be taken away."

"Why would that happen?" Don asked.

"We get watched by social services. They almost took me and Sammy away from Dad in March cause he didn't have a job and Sammy got hurt on the playground," Dean said.

Don nodded. He'd had his own run in with social services. It had taken him three weeks to get his children back all because of an accident in the back yard.

"Dean I've taken my boys out into the country in the snow to hunt. Bad things can happen when you're that far away from civilization. Bad things can happen to the most careful of people. No one is angry or upset," Don said softly.

"This is quite clearly a case of someone interfering in a family camping trip. Maybe you could have been better equipped but I think that you and your family would have done fine if you had not been interfered with. That will be my recommendation if the social services come and talk to me," the doc said. "You will not be taken from your family young man if I have anything to say about it."

Dean looked at the overwhelming man and blinked at him a few times. He couldn't figure the pompous man out but if he was going to help his family then he figured he was ok.

"Now then. Let us gather up the required equipment and get going. Those men have been out in the cold long enough. Time for them to come in," the doc said and left the room.

"Ok well looks like you'll be here with Eric. He'll look after you until we can get back ok buddy? Just take it easy and concentrate on getting better. You'll need to re-hydrate and start to eat to get better. Eric will take good care of you while we're gone. If you need anything just ask him and he'll help you," Don said.

"Want to go with you," Dean said as his eyes began to close.

"You did a really great job Dean. Your father will be really proud of you," Don said. "But what you need to do now is to get better. Get some sleep. We'll be back as soon as we can."

Dean looked up at the man and sighed. Dad didn't want him coming back up the mountain and Dean wasn't sure he ever wanted to go out in the cold again. "You sure you know where the cave is?" Dean asked then yawned.

"Pretty sure," Don said. He'd played in those caves as a child and remembered the biggest one had rusty chains hanging from the walls.

"Don't go the way I did. I fell off the mountain," Dean said and let his eyes close. He was too tired to keep them open any longer.

Don brought the blankets back up around the child as he shook his head. Dean had survived a run in with a crazy man, fell off the mountain, then hiked through deep snow and dense forest to find help for his family. It was a miracle he was even alive. Don stood up. Beth would have said he was a Christmas miracle and he would not have argued.

0000000000000

Caleb pulled out a shopping cart and lifted Sammy up into the seat. He pushed it down the isles finding the five items from Jim's list plus a few other things. By the time he turned down the cereal isle the cart was almost full.

"Ok squirt. Which one?" Caleb asked as he held up a box of Lucky Charms and a box of Corn Pops.

Sammy smiled and pointed at the Lucky Charms box.

"Well that was easy," Caleb said as he tossed the box into the cart and put the other one back on the shelf. He checked off Raisin Bran Cereal from the list and smiled. Sammy definitely had better taste in cereal than Jim did.

They went around the store for another bit before they came across the pop and chips. Caleb threw in four bags of potato chips and a couple of bottles of Coke. Then they made it to the cookie isle.

"Hey Sammy what kind of cookies do you like?" Caleb asked as he tossed in a package of chocolate chip cookies into the cart.

"Oweos," the tyke said.

Caleb raised an eye brow at him. "Oreos? Double Stuffs right?"

Sammy nodded.

Caleb sighed and put two of the package into the cart. "Well that takes care of Dean and your Daddy. Now which one do you like?"

"I want Orweos," Sammy said.

Caleb rested his forearms on the handle of the grocery cart bringing him face to face with the child. "C'mon Sammy every boy has a favourite cookie. Chocolate chip? Peanut butter? Maybe the sandwich ones? You know the ones with the bit of jelly in the middle?"

Sammy didn't say anything he just looked at Caleb.

"Hey it's cool that you miss your big brother and your daddy. But not allowing yourself to have any fun doesn't help you any. Anyway I know that Dean would be pissed at you if you gave him this much trouble," Caleb said and smiled at him. "It's just cookies kiddo. Which ones do you like?"

Sammy looked up and pointed at the chocolate covered digestives.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it tiger?" Caleb asked as he straightened up. He grabbed a couple of packages and tossed them into the cart.

"Could we get something for Angel?" Sammy asked.

Caleb looked at him and found his resolve against the puppy eyes breaking. "Sure. Next up the puppy isle."

0000000000000

The Doc pulled Eric aside. "Dean is going to be fine. Just make sure that he drinks and try to get him started on some light foods. Change the gauzing every once in a while. Make sure he's comfortable," he started.

"Yeah yeah Doc. I got it. Don't worry I got it all under control. Who do you think looks after Shane after he pulls his Superman routine off the garage roof, or does an Evil Knievel with his bike. I know a whole lot of first aid and what I don't know can be found in the library of medical books that dad purchased just because of Shane," Eric said. "I get this is serious, but I got it covered. Really."

The Englishman looked at the teenager for a moment. "Good to hear. If you ever consider a career in the medical field let me know. I'll let you shadow me for a few weeks so you can get your feet wet without costing your father a small fortune in University tuition."

Eric smiled at him. "Thanks Doc. But I think I want to be an author."

"Well if you ever come to your senses you let me know. In the mean time get back to your charge. I expect to find him up and running around by the time I return," the doc said.

"Hey I never said I was a miracle worker. All I said was I could look after the guy. Geez," Eric said and hurried back to his room.

"There you are," Don said as Eric came back into the room. "You sure you got this covered?"

"Yeah no problem Dad. Shane was like a primer for this," Eric said with a grin and ducked as his brother took a half hearted swing at him.

"What's a primer?" Shane asked as he shoved some things in a back pack then he left the room.

"You sign him up for the special ed classes yet?" Eric asked his father in mock seriousness.

"Be nice to your brother. He is slower than you after all," Don said and winked at Eric.

"HEY!" came an indignant shout from another room.

"Do you need anything or have questions before we take off?" Don asked turning serious.

"No. I'm good Dad. Doc says he's well on the mend and if I've got questions I'll consult the library. If I need help I'll contact Jake on the short wave. I've got it covered. Now go be a hero and get his family back," Eric said.

Don shook his head. "When did you become such a smart ass?"

"The day I was born. How long will you be gone?" Eric asked.

"If the weather holds a day. If it doesn't it could be a couple of days," Don said. "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

"Yeah now get out of here," Eric said.

Don gave him a smile and a quick hug then left.

Eric sat on his bed. "Looks like it's just you and me sport," he said softly to the sleeping boy.


	13. Day 13 December 17th

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing. Well nothing recognizable anyway which include The Winchester family, Pastor Jim, and Caleb. I will lay claim to Jesse, Angel, Don, Eric and Shane.

**Author's note:** Thanks to lynxlan for betaing the following story. And just as a reminder I know nothing about medical stuff so you won't find anything accurate with the recovery of all of the hunters. But I tried to make it believable.

Also I want to thank you for your patience. We had a very powerful windstorm blow through the area a couple of days ago and my internet has been up and down since. Sorry for the delay but it was kinda out of my hands. Cross your fingers that it stays up.

I also want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews. They really do make my day and I appreciate all of them.

This next chapter is longer than the previous ones with some action. I changed to rating to a T due to some violence in this chapter. Also this chapter has been modified greatly since being beta'd so please excuse any remaining mistakes.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Day 14 may be slightly delayed.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 13 December 17**

Don checked Shane's pack before setting out on the trail. Then the three of them started into the forest. The sun had risen not that long ago and the day was bright without a cloud in the sky. Several hours later they exited the woods and spotted a figure a couple hundred yards ahead of them.

"Hey!" Don shouted.

The figure paused and turned in the snow.

The three of them approached the figure who waited patiently for them to catch up with him. Don couldn't help but notice the man's hand move into his jacket pocket when they got near him.

"Hey thanks for waiting," Don said. "It's dangerous to be hiking out here by yourself."

"I think I can manage," the man said from behind his black mirrored sunglasses.

"Yes. Of course you can. Listen we're looking for two men who have gone missing in the area," the doc said.

"We have his kid," Shane said.

"We found a boy half frozen on the roadside. We've been looking after him," Don clarified.

The man removed his dark sunglasses. "I don't suppose he told you his name was Dean did he?"

"Yeah actually he did," Don said and felt a little relieved. It was hard to figure out someone's character when the person's eyes were hidden behind sunglasses. But the concern that was etched on the grizzly face made him feel like he could trust the man.

"What's his condition?" he asked.

"What's your connection to the boy?" the doc asked.

"John, his father, and the other man they were camping with, Jesse, are good friends of mine. When they didn't check in as scheduled I came to check on them to see if they're ok," he said and held out a gloved hand. "Name's Joshua."

Don extended his hand and introduced himself.

"Do you know how long they've been in the cold?" the doc asked.

"As of today I figure nine days," Joshua said.

"Time is of the essence then gentlemen. Shall we continue?" the doc said.

"Yeah let's go," Don said.

"You know where they are?" Joshua asked.

"We have a pretty good idea. I grew up here and used to play in these mountains," Don said. "From what Dean said the men we're looking for are about half way up the mountain in a cave."

As the group made their way up the mountain Joshua got all of the details about Dean's rescue and he was told the few details that they knew of his lonely trek down the mountain. After that the group fell silent as they made their way up the snow covered trail. Don took the lead as he was familiar with the terrain. Joshua followed behind Don leaving Shane and the doc bringing up the rear. The hike was slow and cold. Then the wind picked up blowing snow into their eyes and coating the scarves that covered their faces.

Don paused halting the group of hikers. Seeing a patch of blue in a pile of snow he leaned down and tried to pick it up. To his surprise he pulled out a child sized backpack. He handed it to Joshua and dug around the area and uncovered two more adult sized packs. Don looked over his shoulder at Joshua who had the small pack open.

"It's Dean's," Joshua yelled over the wind. "They can't be far."

Don was about to say something when he saw Joshua pull out a gun. "Hey!" Don shouted and stood up.

"Dad!" Shane yelled in warning as he pointed to something behind his father.

"What?" Don shouted over the wind as he turned to see what his son was pointing at. He froze as he saw the white monster that stood a few feet in front of him. All he could do was stare in shock at the white beast not really believing what he was seeing.

The beast roared at him and swiped a powerful paw at the man. Don yelled out in pain as the monster's sharp claws tore through his clothing and gouged three gashes across his chest. He fell backwards onto his pack with his eyes and jaw clenched at the fiery pain that lanced through his front.

As Don fell injured in front of him Joshua neatly sidestepped him as he brought his gun up, flicked off the safety and took aim at the monster. His veterinarian training immediately picked up the newly healing wounds that were on it's chest and near his neck. As the injured animal stepped forward Joshua fired three shots into it's chest.

The abominable snow monster howled in pain and took a step back. Joshua took a step forward pressing his advantage on the white animal effectively putting himself between Don and the beast. The animal sized the veterinarian up, howled loudly and took a step forward. Without blinking Joshua fired round after round of silver bullets until he'd emptied the clip into the beast.

The beast staggered back at the intensity of the assault and pain inflicted on it's already injured body. Joshua released the emptied clip from the gun at the same time he was pulling out a full clip from his pocket. This clip had regular bullets but these had been soaked in holy water blessed by his good friend Father Jim.

He felt the clip slip into place and he began to fire again. The beast stumbled drunkenly backward and Joshua stopped firing as it teetered on the edge of the cliff face. The abominable snowman stilled for a second and it's eyes fixed onto Joshua's.

Joshua took a steadying breath and fired one last round into the white beast's head. The white monster stood there for another second as it expelled it's last breath then it slowly slipped off the cliff face and disappeared from view.

The veterinarian let his head fall onto his chest for a second as he took a few calming breaths. Then he put the safety on his gun and shoved it into his pocket. He turned and crouched next to Don to check his injuries.

Don still had his eyes closed against the pain.

"Good God man what was that!" The Doc demanded as he looked up from where he was checking Don's vitals.

Shane had taken off his scarf and was pressing it down onto his father's wounds.

"Rabid bear," Joshua lied smoothly.

"Good thing I'm up to date on my rabies shots then," Don wheezed through the pain as he opened his eyes.

"Dad?" Shane asked shakily.

"It's all right Shane. They're not so bad," Don said when he saw the fear on his young boy's eyes.

"How bad is it really?" Joshua asked just loud enough for the other doctor to hear him over the howling storm.

"These gashes are fairly deep," the Doc said as he pulled back the scarf for Joshua to see. "We need to get him to shelter now."

Joshua paled at the deep wounds knowing that they would have to deal with them now. They couldn't wait for help to arrive. They were the help for John, Jesse and now Don.

"Caves aren't far," Don said as loud as he could through the pain. "Around the corner."

"All right. We're going to have to move him," the doc said and looked at Shane.

Josh took his eyes away from the wounds as he heard Don speak.

"Get your face covered or we'll be treating you for frost bite," the doc yelled at him and Shane hastily pulled the collar up as far as it could go to cover part of his face.

"Shane grab what you can we may need the supplies," Joshua said as motioned to the uncovered packs and saw the boy nod. Then he and the doctor began to slowly help Don to walk down up the trail. They came around the bend and saw the cave opening. The Doc and Joshua picked up the pace supporting as much of Don's weight as they could.

It was a relief to finally get out of the biting wind and icy snow. They took the man as far into the cave as they could go and then gently lowered him to the ground lying him on his back. Joshua quickly removed his pack and took out a shirt for Don to rest his head on instead of the cold rocky ground.

"He's going into shock," Joshua said.

The doctor gave him a look that would have made most men cringe. Joshua ignored the glare and pulled a rather large first aid kit out of the bag. As he opened it the doctor looked into the bag and back up to Joshua in surprise.

Joshua shrugged and smiled slightly. "Before becoming a veterinarian I was a physician and I expected to be on my own to find these guys."

"Shane," the doctor snapped.

"Yes sir?" the boy said.

"Look farther into the cave and see if you can find the men," the doc said then turned to Joshua. "Don't suppose you have a stitch kit in there do you?"

"I only thought to bring three," Joshua said.

The doctor smiled slightly. "I like a man who comes prepared. Let's get started then. Where's the antiseptic?"

As the men tended to Don, Shane made his way further into the cave. He turned into one room to find pieces of animals strewn all over the place. There were frozen puddles of blood, half eaten bones and pieces of animal skin. The boy fell to his knees and threw up. When he was done he left the room as soon as he could. The next room he found contained nothing but a pile of branches, leaves and what looked like chewed animal skins. Relieved there were no animal parts there he left the room and found the last room. His mouth dropped open at what he saw. People only got chained to walls in adventure or horror movies or so he thought.

Pushing aside any thoughts he rushed over to the first man. His face was covered in blood and he was bruised everywhere else. His breathing was hitched like he was having trouble breathing and his eyes were fluttering slightly as if he was dreaming.

"Hey can you hear me?" Shane said loudly to the man but got no response. He didn't want to touch him fearing that he would just add to his wounds. He moved onto the next man.

He was bloodied and bruised but he could still see his face. His breathing was slightly hitched but he was breathing more smoothly than the man beside him. There was blood trickling down from where his wrists hung in the restraints.

"Hey can you hear me?" Shane said repeating loudly what he said to the other man. He reached out and shook his shoulder slightly. "Hey!"

He tried a few more times but neither man were responding to his efforts.

"I'm going to get Joshua. I'll be right back," he said.

Then Shane was running back to where he'd left his father and the other men.

"I found them!" Shane said as he ran up to them. "They won't wake up but they're still breathing. They're hurt awfully bad though and one of them is having trouble breathing."

"Good. Doc can you take care of this?" Joshua asked.

"Of course I can. Go with the boy. Shane take my pack with you," the doc said then went back to stitching up his patient.

Shane went over to grab the Doc's pack and struggled to lift it. Seeing his dilemma Josh went over and picked up the bag.

"Jeez doc did you pack a kitchen sink in here or what?" Joshua asked.

"Medical supplies, portable stretchers and bolt cutters," the Doc said without looking up.

"Bolt cutters?" Joshua repeated perplexed as to why bringing them was important.

"Blast it man just go rescue your friends and stop bothering me," the Doc said.

Joshua shook his head then looked at Shane. "Show me where they are."

Shane nodded and they hurried further into the cave. "What got my Dad? I couldn't see it."

"Uh it was a bear," Joshua said and wondered if he'd actually killed it with the silver bullets or if it would be back.

"Shouldn't they be hibernating right now?" Shane asked.

Joshua didn't answer as they'd stepped into the room he'd just gotten a first look at his injured friends. "Dear God," he mumbled then rushed over to his friends. He slipped off the pack and wrenched it open as quickly as he could. He yanked out the bolt cutters and was about to try to cut through the rusted metal when he looked over to the boy standing next to him.

"Shane grab his arm and try to keep him leaning up against the wall while I cut this. I don't want him to fall to the ground, ok?" Joshua asked.

Shane looked between the man and Joshua. "I don't want to hurt him," he said even as he went and stood between the two chained up men.

"He won't even feel it. I promise. Just hold him steady," Joshua said and waited for Shane to get a good hold of Jesse.

It took a few minutes but Joshua cut through the rusty chains holding up his wounded friend. He dropped the bolt cutters and eased him to the ground as gently as he could.

"Shane go get the doc. Tell him he needs to be here now. Exposure is the least of our worries with him," Joshua said as he checked him out. "There's some broken ribs, shoulders are dislocated and he's non responsive. Can you tell him all of that?"

Shane nodded and repeated it back to him.

"Good. Now as soon as you tell him that the doc will either be finished working on your dad and be able to come and help or he'll need to finish with your dad. If he's not done sewing up your father get the two emergency blankets out of the first aid kit and bring them here. There's a third one in there that the doc can use for your father, ok?" Joshua said.

The boy nodded once more and raced out of the cave.

Joshua turned his attention back to his friend. "Hold on Jesse. We're going to get you out of here, ok? But you need to hold on."

Shane was back a moment later with the blankets and a small first aid kit. "Doc gave me the blankets and this. Said he'd be here as soon as he could."

Josh took one of the silver blankets from him and tore open the package. "Good. Help me get this around his legs," Josh said as he handed the blanket to the boy.

Josh tore open the first aid kit from the doctor. There was a stitch kit, antiseptic and a bunch of different kinds of bandages. Without looking up he addressed Shane. "The man there still chained up is John. He's Dean's dad. Talk to him. See if you can get him awake," Josh said.

When the boy walked away from him towards the mouth of the cave he looked up to see where he was going. The boy hadn't gone far. Not only had he brought the emergency blankets and first aid kit but somehow he'd also brought one of the backpacks with supplies and two sleeping bags.

"Just give me a second, ok? The doc said to use both the emergency blankets and the sleeping bags for them," Shane said as he unzipped one almost fully. He took it and gently moved Jesse's feet into the end of the bag and worked it up his legs.

"When you're done with his first aid I'll help you bring it up all the way, but at least we can start getting his legs warmed up," Shane said then moved over to John.

He reached up and put his hands on the man's shoulders. Shane gave him a gentle shake and said his name loudly. When there was no response he shook him a little harder and just yelled.

"Try smacking him on the face a couple of times. Gently at first and then harder. It's ok Shane. We need to get him awake now," Joshua said as he put a bandage over a deep cut on Jesse's hair line.

Shane swallowed. Dean's father was a big man who looked like he could take on an entire football team and win. He steeled himself knowing Joshua was correct. He tapped his jaw slightly hoping that would be enough to rouse him. It wasn't and he brought up his hand to smack the man harder. He hoped he didn't make him mad cause his brother wasn't here to patch him up.

"John you have to wake up now," Shane said as his hands came in contact with his cold cheek again.

Slowly John raised his head off his chest. "Wha-?" he said groggily.

"Smack him again Shane," Joshua ordered.

Shane swallowed and did as he was told to do. When his hand smacked John's cheek the man's eyes suddenly opened. "Hey," he protested feebly.

"You need to wake up sir," Shane said taking a slight step back.

"Dean?" John asked as his eyes closed again.

"No you jerk," Joshua said from where he was knelt over Jesse. "Your rescue party has arrived. You just couldn't wait could you? You stupid, stubborn son of a bitch."

John opened his eyes again and looked at the boy in front of him. He narrowed his eyes at him. "Did you just cuss at me boy?" he asked.

"No sir," Shane said and then pointed over at Joshua. "He did."

John followed where he pointed and saw his friend. "Josh that you?"

"Yeah it's me," he said rather tersely.

"Where's Dean? Is he safe?" John asked.

"Yes sir. He's with my brother at our house. Doc says he'll make a full recovery," Shane said.

"Go sit with your father," the doc said as he entered the room.

Shane nodded and headed out of the room. He didn't know why but even tied to the wall Dean's father unnerved him a little.

"So you didn't think it was important to get this man down from his restraints?" the doc asked.

"Not really. Jesse can't wait. Get down here," Joshua said without looking up. "He possibly has a concussion, definite exposure and hypothermia. I don't like the colour of his fingers or the marks here on his chest."

The Doc got down beside the man. "Yes. I see the deep bruising," he said as he felt around the chest.

"You feel it?" Joshua asked.

"Yes. His breathing is uneven," he said and then put his ear to his chest then pulled back with a sigh. "He needs more help than we can give him here."

"I'll try to make the call," Joshua said. "Sit tight John I'll be back to get you down."

John watched his friend leave the room. "What am I missing here?" he asked while pulling on his restraints.

"Your friend here is in serious difficulties. He has broken ribs and one of his lungs is not inflating properly. Now it could be just deflated in which case it will heal on its own. However I do not believe that to be the case. I think he's got a punctured lung by means of his broken ribs. Now if we don't get him medical assistance quickly and into theatre to repair it he could eventually suffocate on his own blood and die," the doc said as he searched Jesse's body for other injuries. He nodded as he looked at Joshua's handiwork. When he was satisfied that he could not do anymore for the man he pulled up the blankets around him as best he could.

"Your friend is somewhat lucky," Doc said.

"Yeah? How so?" John asked as he stopped pulling on the chain.

"Your other friend has enough medical knowledge to help me," Doc said.

"Help you what?" John asked.

"I'm going to have to open your friend up to drain the blood. It's a temporary measure of course, but the only one I can think of to keep him alive," Doc said.

"No luck," Joshua said as he came back into the room. "I told Shane that under no circumstances are he and his Dad to come back here."

"Good. There's no reason for the lad to see any of this," Doc said and dug into the first aid bag.

Josh ripped away what was left of Jesse's shirt and poured the antiseptic over the chest. "Ready," Josh said softly.

"Hey wait a sec. You can't open him up here," John exclaimed.

"I tried calling out on the Satellite phone. I couldn't get through to anyone. If we don't drain Jesse's chest he will suffocate and die. I'm not going to let him die," Josh said as he watched the Doc make an incision.

John was silent as he watched the procedure happen in front of him. Jesse was worked on and John couldn't see much but Joshua's back. Then he shifted and John saw the tube inserted into Jesse's chest and a stream of blood quickly flowed out of the tube and onto the floor.

"Good," Doc said. "Now lets get this stitched up a bit and then we'll wrap it in gauze. It'll have to stay open but it's his only chance."

"Agreed," Joshua said as he pulled the last stitch kit out of the first aid bag.

They finished working on Jesse. Carefully they wrapped Jesse in the emergency blanket and sleeping bag around the drainage tube.

"Well that's it," Doc said as he snapped off his surgical gloves. "Now then how are you doing over there?"

John was staring at Jesse.

"I do believe your friends in a bit of shock. I'll help you get him down," Doc said to Joshua who was taking off his gloves.

Josh got the bolt cutters and cut John down from the chains. The men eased him down into a lying position.

"Tell me where it hurts John," Joshua said as he felt around his body for injuries.

John shook his head. "Head, chest, shoulders… Nothing like Jesse though."

Joshua pursed his lips as he heard the regret in his friends voice. "Jesse knew what he was getting himself into John. I don't doubt that," he said softly.

"Right. Tape up the ribs, stitch up the head wounds and you'll be as good as new," Doc said.

"Not so fast," Joshua said as he looked at John's arm. "I do believe you've got a broken wrist."

"I dare say he does. A nasty one at that," Doc said as he helped pull away the rusty manacle.

"Just wrap it up. It'll be fine," John said.

"Oh so you're a doctor now are you?" Doc asked humorously.

"Not the first broken bone I've had," John said not looking at what they were doing.

"Yeah but John this will require some surgery. The bone is poking out of the skin," Josh said as he gently probed the area. There was quite a lot of bruising around the break which wasn't surprising. What was surprising was the amount of torn skin, blisters and blood that was seeping around the wound.

Josh closed his eyes and shook his head slightly.

"The crazy man didn't break your wrist did he?" Doc asked.

"You broke your own wrist trying to break free, didn't you?" Joshua asked as he grabbed the bottle of antiseptic.

"Jesse needed help. He wouldn't wake up and I knew it was bad. I couldn't tell how long Dean had been gone. The only thing I could think of was getting free to get Jesse to help and just hope and pray that Dean had made it out alive," John admitted.

Joshua nodded. "Well we're not going anywhere tonight. Storms raging hard out there. Maybe by morning we'll be able to call out for a rescue. We'll just have to hope that Jesse can hold on that long.


	14. Day 14 December 18th

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing in the following with exception to the story idea and some oc characters.

Author's notes: Thanks to lynxlan for the beta over lunch hour today.

The helicopter I had in mind when I wrote the rescue was the Cormorant CH0149 helicopter. It has 2 rescue hoists, a sophisticated ice protection system, and a very large storage capacity. It can carry up to 12 loaded stretchers at one time. It also handles very well in high winds. Again I know nothing about medicine so I tried to be accurate and believable. Also I know nothing about helicopters but did do some research and tried to make it believable.

Enjoy

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 14 December 18**

Caleb got up early and headed downstairs to do Tai Chi with Sammy but was surprised when he didn't find him in the living room. He headed upstairs to get the tyke up for the exercise routine. After easing the door open he found the boy sitting on the bed holding two pieces of paper. Angel looked over at him and wagged her tail in greeting.

"Hey Tiger. Ready to do some Tai Chi?" he asked brightly as he walked into the room.

Sammy shook his head.

"Why not? I did the routine for years before I told Jim it was a crappy waste of time and that I wanted to do more kick boxing," he said with a big smile on his face. "Then Jim kicked my butt and we went back to practicing. But that's another story for another time."

He sighed when he didn't get a response from the boy. "What have you got there?" Caleb asked pointing to the paper in his hands.

"Dean made it for me," Sammy said quietly.

"And what is it for?" Caleb asked.

"Ten sleeps," Sammy said. "He promised ten sleeps and they'd be back."

Sammy lifted his face and Caleb was surprised at what he saw. He'd expected tears but what he saw was an all out fury. Not once had he ever seen Sammy mad, frustrated but never angry.

"He lied to me," he said his little face scrunched up in anger. "Dean lied to me and he never lies to me. Do all hunters lie?"

"Now hold on there Sammy. Hunts don't always go as planned. Sometimes they take longer due to unforeseen circumstances," Caleb said. "Hunters don't lie to other hunters. You need to rely on the Hunter community Sammy. You are a part of that community."

"Then where are they Caleb? Why aren't they here? Daddy always calls when he's hunting," Sammy said as the rage slowly dissolved from his face. "One ring then nothing. Then the phone rings again and that way we know it's Dad. He _always _calls. Why hasn't Daddy called?"

"I don't know kiddo. But from what Pastor Jim told me they are up in the mountains. Maybe the power and phones are out. Maybe there's been an avalanche that's keeping them from getting here. I'm not all seeing you know," he said.

"Pastor Jim said only God is all seeing," Sammy said then turned away. "Daddy doesn't believe in God. Neither does Dean."

"Well that may be true. But what I can tell you is that John, Dean and Jesse will be home soon. Don't you want to surprise your Daddy by showing him the Tai Chi moves you know?" Caleb asked.

"You sure they're coming back?" Sammy asked uncertainly.

"Positive," Caleb said with a confidence he wasn't sure he felt.

Sammy sighed and carefully put the paper on the small table in the room. "Ok. Lets go do Tai Chi."

0000000000000

The morning broke clear and cold. Doc took the battered looking satellite phone and called for an extraction from search and rescue. The line was very staticy but the coordinates were successfully relayed and received.

An hour later a chopper could be heard in the distance and Shane hurried outside to get the pilot's attention.

The helicopter got as close to the rock face as they could and began to lower a rescue basket with a man inside. It was close enough that Shane could reach out and grab the basket and directed it to settle on the large pathway just outside of the cave entrance.

"We can't hover for long. It's not safe to keep the helicopter this close to the rock wall with these winds," the man yelled as he hopped out of the basket.

"They're in the back of the cave. Follow me," Shane said then ran towards the back room.

The medic began to follow and slowed as soon as he saw Don lying nearby.

"Jesse's hurt badly. He's back here," Shane said when he realized the man had stopped following him.

"I'm fine," Don said waving the man off. "Follow my son."

The medic nodded and hurried to follow after the boy. He paused as he saw the condition of Jesse and then was by the man's side in an instant.

"Which one of you is the doctor that called this in?" the medic asked.

"I did. This man is in serious need of medical attention. We had to drain a lung full of blood," Doc said. "He goes first."

The medic looked over at him and saw a portable stretcher had been put together and the two other men were preparing to move Jesse onto it.

The medic grimaced as he took Jesse's vitals. "We need to get you all aboard the copter fast. There's another storm approaching. We only have one shot at getting all of you out of here."

He helped them move Jesse onto the stretcher then took hold off on end while Joshua took the other side. They carried him out towards the rescue basket.

Shane and the Doc assisted John to his feet and helped him walk to the entrance of the cave. They watched as Jesse was gently lowered into the basket by Joshua and the medic. The medic motioned upwards and the basket was hoisted back up to the rescue helicopter.

"Ok. Sir you are next and then you," the medic said to John and Joshua. "Then you and your son sir. Then the doc and I will come up last. Be ready."

The basket was lowered and John was helped into the basket. Then he was hoisted up to the cabin of the helicopter. The motion was repeated again and again until everyone was on board. The helicopter flew back away from the mountain and then headed towards the closest medical center.

Shane sat beside the window watching the scenery fly past. He never thought in a thousand years that he'd get to ride on a helicopter and knew that Eric would be jealous that he missed out. He wished his brother was here with him to share the experience. He glanced over to where his father lay on a stretcher. Don's eyes were closed and he'd been hooked up to an IV. John was next to him his wrist had been splinted and his other hand had been attached to an IV. Jesse was on the other side but he couldn't see him. All of the search and rescue members, Joshua and the Doc were all crowded around him. Shane wasn't sure if the man would wake up.

The helicopter set down in a field next to a small county hospital. Slowly everyone inside disembarked with the help of the doctors and nurses that were waiting for them. The head doctor took one look at Jesse and motioned the medic over.

"We're just a small community hospital. We cannot treat him here. His wounds are too extensive," he stated.

"We know. We just got clearance to take him to the trauma center. He and the Doc won't be staying," the medic yelled over the noise of the helicopter. "Get them clear. We're taking off."

The doctor nodded and made sure everyone was back off of the field and headed towards the medical center.

"No! Where's Jesse?" John demanded as the helicopter took off from the landing pad.

"They're taking him to the regional trauma center," the doctor said. "He'll be in much better hands there. You need to **l**ie down sir."

John laid back down on the gurney and allowed himself to be taken into the building. He stared straight up from where he layat the passing overhead lights as he was rushed into a curtained off exam area. Exhausted he let the medical staff do what they needed to do barely registering their ministrations. He barely grunted answers at their questions and at some point he realized Joshua was nearby as he could hear him answering the questions in his place.

"Thank you sir," a nurse said.

Joshua's face came into focus. "Josh?" John said.

"Yeah buddy it's me. Hang tight ok? These people are going to take good care of you. Don't give them too much trouble," Joshua said.

"Get to Dean," John said just as a nurse added something to his IV line.

"You'll be fine John," Joshua said softly as his friends eyes started to close.

"No… My boys," John said as he slipped into sleep.

"They're fine. You'll see them soon," Joshua said.

"I'm sorry sir, but you will have go back to the waiting room," a nurse said as stepped up beside him checking John's vitals.

"Ok," Joshua said not moving from John's side.

"You're friend will be all right," she said smiling at him.

Joshua sighed. "How long will his surgery be?" he asked tiredly.

"It shouldn't be too long," she said. "There seems be some extra trauma around the injury but it shouldn't complicate the surgery."

Joshua nodded as he rubbed at one eye. "Ok. Thank you," he said softly and left the exam cubicle.

He headed back to the waiting room expecting to see Shane still sitting there but the boy was no where in sight. Joshua went looking for him and found him in his father's exam cubicle. He was about to go back to the waiting room satisfied that the young teen was ok when he was called back.

"Joshua?" Shane said loudly enough to get his attention but not loud enough to disturb the other patients.

"You doing ok kid?" Joshua asked.

Shane smiled. "Yeah I'm fine. Dad wants you," he said.

Joshua nodded and followed Shane back into the curtained off exam room.

"Hey Joshua," Don said with a big grin on his face.

"Don," Joshua said with a small smile as he noticed the glassy eyes. The man looked like he was seriously high on pain meds.

"How are you feeling?" Joshua asked.

"He's loopy," Shane said with a big grin.

"I'm good," Don said happily. "This doesn't hurt at all."

"Yeah I'll bet," Joshua said as he glanced at the man's bandaged chest. There was gauzing completely wrapped around his middle.

Shane's cocky grin slipped a little as he shifted a little closer to his father. His gaze locked on the white wrapping on his father.

A doctor came into the cubicle. "I'm sorry but the gentleman here needs to get some rest."

"N-no," Shane said shakily as he grabbed his father's hand and his smile fell away completely. "I told him I wouldn't leave him."

"Shane it's ok," Don said softly. "I'm not going anywhere buddy. Just gonna close my eyes and get some rest. Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll see you in a little while."

"But," Shane protested softly. He wished his brother was here. Eric was the more responsible and level headed one. He wasn't sure how to deal with this on his own.

"Come on Shane. We'll wash up and get something to eat," Joshua said as he placed a hand gently on the young man's shoulder.

"Everything will be ok Shane. Go with Joshua," he said as he squeezed his son's hand slightly. "We'll be home with you giving Eric a hard time before you know it."

Shane looked at his father for a few moments before nodding.

Don looked up at Joshua.

"It's ok. I'll bring him back soon," Joshua promised.

"Thanks," Don said as he yawned.

0000000000000

John's eyes slowly fluttered open. He stared up at the white ceiling for a moment before the memories of the past adventure came crashing down around him. He tried to move into a sitting position but found he was attached to an IV and his other arm was in a cast and restrained in a sling.

His head sunk back into his pillow as he rooted around with his good hand for the bed remote.

"Well it's about friggin' time you opened your eyes. Thought you were gonna sleep forever," Joshua said quietly.

The bed started to move slowly and John fought against dizziness as he was brought up to a semi-sitting position.

"Josh?" John said.

"In the flesh," Joshua said. "Go back to sleep John. You've only been out a short time."

"Dean?" John asked.

"I haven't left yet. They've been keeping Don for observation but it looks like he'll be released soon. I'll go with them and check on Dean," Joshua said.

"I'm going too," John said as he tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He only accomplished getting one slightly over the side and the other tangled in the sheet. He dropped his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Knock it off soldier. You're staying put. Doctor's orders you dumb ass," Jesse said as he moved to the side of the bed stopping him from getting out of the bed.

"You're a vet not a doctor," John fired back.

"I'm both for when the occasion calls for it. Today I'm a doctor. Your doctor. And my ruling is that if you get out of that bed I'm gonna sedate you into next week," Joshua said.

John opened one eye at him. "You can't be serious."

"Try me fly boy," he shot back slightly a littleheatedly.

"How about this. You can sedate me when we get back to where Dean is. Get me the damn AMA or I'll get it when you leave and I'll meet you back at Shane's."

"You don't know where that is," Joshua said slightly uncertain. He wouldn't put it past his friend to get the AMA. But he thought he had that covered when John didn't know where Dean actually was staying.

"I can figure it out," John said sitting up fully on his own.

"Hey," Shane said as he came into the room pushing his father in a wheel chair. "Dad's been sprung."

"Joshua. Now," John growled.

Joshua brought his hands in mock surrender. "Fine. But it's your own funeral you stupid, stubborn, obstinate, self centered," he started to say and his tirade was cut off as he left the room and headed for the nurses station.

"How are you feeling?" Shane asked.

"I'll live," John said quietly.

"Well that's good cause you're little boy misses you," Shane said softly.

John brought his head up to look at the boy. "How is he really?"

"Well I'm sure he's in much better condition than what we left him in. We'll fill you in on the ride home, but basically he was hypothermic, we warmed him up and treated his injuries. He responded well to treatment and my other son Eric should have him more aware, and possibly walking around the house by now," Don said.

"Ok. And you are?" John asked.

"Oh right. We didn't get a chance to meet in the cave. I'm Don," he said as he extended a hand in greeting. "I'm Shane's father."

John shakily shook the man's hand. "You found my son?"

"Yeah we did. Me and my boys," he said quietly.

John nodded. "Thank you for taking him in and helping him."

Don shrugged. "No problem. It's what we do here."

John smiled slightly at him then closed his eyes for a moment. "Do you know what day it is?" he asked.

"December 18th," Shane said.

John sighed heavily. "I need to get back."

"You shouldn't be going anywhere in your condition," Don said surprised that the man wanted out so soon after his surgery. In fact he still looked half out of it from the anesthesia.

"Yeah well you'll soon learn how well he listens," Joshua said as he came back into the room. "You're all set. Just sign the forms and we're gone."

"Great," John said taking the papers from his friend. He squinted at the paper but couldn't seem to focus on it.

"If I have to point out where you have to sign I'm gonna tear up those papers," Joshua warned.

"Don't get your panties in a knot. I got it," John said and grabbed the pen from his friend.

It had taken time for John to get dressed and to get a wheel chair to take him down to the hospital's lobby. They called a cab and left the hospital. It was about four in the morning when they got to Don's house. Shane tried to get John to lay down into his room but he wouldn't go until he'd checked on Dean.

Shane led the exhausted man to his brother's room. Eric looked up at the figures that entered the room.

"You're back," he said and sat up. He'd been sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor in case Dean needed him in the night.

"Yup," Shane said. "You'll never guess what happened."

"Who are you?" Eric asked giving the injured man a good once over.

"I'm John, Dean's father," he said. "How's my boy?"

"Very much improved sir. I have been able to get some water into him and some broth. He's talking a little more and staying awake longer. But he's still sleeping a lot," Eric said as he got up and walked towards them. "Do you want to sit with him for a bit?"

"Yeah," John said softly.

Eric nodded. "I'll go see if I can find Dad," he said and pushed his brother out of the room ahead of him.

John stood there just inside the door watching Dean sleep. He walked softly towards his son and stopped next to the bed. Reaching out he ran a hand over the boy's hair leaving his hand on his cheek for a moment. Dean shifted in his sleep and leaned into his father's hand.

"Dean I'm sorry," John whispered. "You weren't ready for any of this but you saved us all."

John swallowed heavily and took a deep breath.

"Hey," a voice said quietly from behind him. "Your doctor is ordering bed rest. Now. No arguments or I will follow through on my original threat of sedating you into next week."

"I should stay with him," John said just above a whisper.

Dean shifted in his sleep moving closer to his father.

"No. John you won't do him any good if you don't try and get better. Getting better includes sleep. Now," Josh said as he stepped up beside him.

John sighed heavily and his shoulders drooped slightly. "Fine," he said softly. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep his eyes open for much longer.

Shane appeared in the room a moment later and showed John to his room so he could lie down. The young teen watched for a moment hesitant to leave in case he needed some help.

"Do you need anything?" Shane asked softly.

"No. I'll be fine. Thanks," John said then stretched out on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

"Well then I guess I'll take you to the guest room," Shane said as he looked at Joshua.

"Just show me the way kid. I feel like I could sleep for a week," Joshua said around a yawn.

Once Joshua was settled Shane went into his brother's room. Eric was there speaking softly with his father.

"Everyone settled?" Don asked.

"Yeah Dad," Shane said as he yawned.

"Take the floor or the couch. Which do you want?" Eric asked.

"Couch," Shane said.

"It's already made up," Eric said. "Go get some sleep and you can tell me all about it tomorrow."

"Thanks bro," Shane said then left the room.

"Get some rest Dad," Eric said.

"What about you?" Don asked. "How much sleep have you gotten since we left?"

Eric shrugged. "Enough. I'm not the one who returned battered and bruised. Go to bed."

Don nodded. "Try to get some sleep, ok?"

"I will," Eric said as his Dad left the room. Then he got back into his sleeping bag and went to sleep.


	15. Day 15 December 19th

**Disclaimer: **Just the usual. I own nothing recognizable but I'll claim the recognizable.

**Author's note: **Everyone's back in this chapter. Thanks to lynxlan who beta'd this on her lunch hour today.

Thanks for everyone's patience while I got caught up. Enjoy.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 15 December 19**

Dean woke up alone for the first time since being picked up by Don and his family. Since almost everyone had left to find his father and Jesse Eric had been there the other times he'd opened his eyes and now he was alone. He struggled to sit up and noticed a sleeping bag on the floor. He hurt just about everywhere and moving was very difficult. Shakily he struggled to his feet. Eric had been giving him warm water and warm broth and now he really needed to find the bathroom.

Very slowly he made his way out of the bedroom and went down the hallway to where he vaguely remembered it being from when he used it before. He finished up in the washroom and slowly made his way back to the room. The last thing he thought was maybe he'd hear back about his father and Jesse today.

0000000000000

"Where are we going?" Sammy asked softly from the back of Jim's jeep.

"We are going to work," Caleb said.

"Oh. Dean tried to show me how to aim his side arm but it was too heavy to hold properly. And I couldn't pull back the bow string to shoot the arrow," Sammy said seriously.

"No, no Sammy. Not that kind of work," Jim said.

Caleb looked back at him with a funny look. "If I tried to show you any kind of weapons your father would have my head on a pike."

"Caleb really," Jim admonished.

"Well it's true. No Sammy Pastor Jim here has volunteered me, and you by association, to paint some backdrops for the Nativity play that's happening tomorrow night," Caleb said.

"And my congregation appreciates your efforts," Jim said.

Sammy frowned slightly at him.

"You can hold a paint brush can't you kiddo?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah," Sammy said slightly uncertain.

"Well then you can help me paint," Caleb said.

They got to the church and went down into the basement. Caleb found the boards that had been donated to the church and put them down on the concrete floor.

Sammy looked from the boards to Caleb.

"These are going to make great backdrops," Caleb said. "I saw how carefully you coloured those pictures I drew for you. You will really help me out by painting these with me."

Sammy sat down beside one of the pieces of wood as Caleb pulled out the sketches he'd drawn the night before in preparation.

"And when we're done," Caleb said with a wide grin. "We are going to sign our names to our masterpieces."

Several hours later Jim made his way down to the basement and found Caleb and Sammy staring down at their handiwork. Caleb was chuckling and Sammy was smiling at something and Jim was not sure what he had just walked into.

"Hey guys. Done already?" Jim asked.

"Yeah," Caleb said.

Sammy looked at him hesitantly. He wasn't sure the pastor would be ok with what they had done.

Jim walked forward and took a look. What he saw was four large back drops. One was a desert background with palm trees in the back ground. The one next to it was a desert city that would double for Jerusalem. The next was a dark night with nothing but dark sand and bright stars. The last had the backdrop of a stable.

"These look great guys. Very impressive. Now what's the joke," Jim asked.

"Get closer," Caleb said and put a hand on Sammy's shoulder.

"Closer?" Jim asked and at the look on Caleb's face he wasn't sure he was going to like what he found. He knelt down and he spotted the joke. _December 19, 2006. By Sammy and Caleb. Hunters rule._

Jim chuckled. "Hunters rule? Really Caleb? Is that any way to celebrate the birth of Christ?"

Caleb was laughing out loud. On each and every board near the bottom corner that could be barely seen were the same words. Jim sighed. He'd known he should've kept a closer eye on these two.

0000000000000

Dean woke later in the day to loud voices and laughter. There were several voices but he'd recognize one of them anywhere. It was his father's gruff voice. His dad was here, safe and hopefully not too badly injured. He lay there for a while just listening to the voices then an overwhelming need to see his Dad overwhelmed him. He struggled out of the bed and shuffled to the bedroom door. With one foot out of the room he looked over the group in the living room. His father was there sitting on the couch with one arm encased in plaster and in a sling. The other held a big mug probably filled with coffee. He was talking with Don, his twins and Joshua. The only one missing was Jesse.

Jesse was missing from the group and he knew he'd been too late to save the man. He'd been beaten the worst by the Yeti and he hadn't gotten him help fast enough to save him. At that point Dean knew that his father would be disappointed in him. How many times had his father said to him Dude I'm counting on you. His father had been counting on him and he'd blown it big time.

Another round of laughter made Dean step fully back into the room and slowly made his way to the bed. He may have helped save his Dad but he'd failed Jesse. He'd never prove his worth as a hunter to his father now.

John was launching into another story about his time in the Marines.

"No way! Don't you dare tell that one. The boys are far too young," Joshua protested.

"Payback man. So anyway the good doctor here," John started.

Eric was looking down the hallway. He was sure he'd seen movement at his bedroom door. Quietly he excused himself from the group and went into his bedroom where he found Dean sitting on the edge the bed.

"Hey you're awake. How are you feeling?" Eric asked quietly as he sat down beside the boy.

Dean was looking down at his hand picking at the gauze wrapped around it. "Fine," he mumbled.

"You know if your hands are bothering you we could get Joshua to look at them for you. I can go get him," Eric offered.

"No. No it's fine," Dean said quickly.

Eric looked at him for a moment. "Are you hungry?"

Dean shook his head.

"Well now that you're up why don't you come and join everyone. Your Dad and Joshua are telling some great stories about their time in the service," Eric said. "I can help you get out there."

"No. I think I just want to go back to sleep," Dean said softly.

Eric nodded and waited for Dean to lie down. He pulled the covers over him and sat beside him once again. "I'm sure your Dad would be happy to see you awake. He's been in a couple of times to check on you. He's been worried that you haven't woken up yet. I'm sure he'd be happy to know you're awake. I can get him for you."

"No. I just want to sleep," Dean said and moved onto his side away from Eric.

"Ok sport. I'll check on you later," Eric said. He waited to see if the boy would respond but Dean didn't. He got up and headed back to the living room.

He sat next to John on the couch. He was glad to see that the focus was totally on Joshua and the story he was telling. Softly he told John that his son was awake but had basically asked to be left alone.

John nodded, quietly thanked the boy and got up.

"Hey Johnny where are you going? I was just getting to the good part," Joshua said.

"Nature calls. Besides I was there. I don't need to hear your exaggerated version of it," he said and looked at Don. "Don't believe a word this man says."

John turned away from the group and slowly made his way down the hallway. He stood in the doorway and saw Dean in bed turned away from him. Silently he made his way into the room and as he got closer to him he realized his boy was quietly crying. Something he hadn't seen him do since the day he realized his mother wasn't coming home.

John slowly settled himself down on the bed.

"Please just go away," Dean said softly and sniffed.

John reached out and gently put his hand on his boy's head. He sighed softly as the boy flinched.

"Hey Dean," he said softly.

Dean turned onto his back and looked up at his Dad. He was surprised at the gentle tone because he'd been expecting him to be angry or worse completely disappointed in him. "Dad?" he asked and swallowed.

"Yeah it's me," he said and smiled down at him. "You did good kiddo."

Dean's lips quivered slightly and he pursed them together as he tried to hold it together. He would not cry in front of his father. "No," he said softly. He did not deserve this praise.

John frowned down at his oldest son and places his hand on his arm. "What?" he asked confused.

"No I didn't do a good job sir. I let you and Jesse down," Dean said softly as his breath hitched slightly.

"Dean," John started.

"No," Dean said as he tried to sit up and allowed his father to help him. "I wasn't fast enough."

"Dean we all made it," John said.

"Jesse didn't," Dean said and he couldn't help the tear that escaped down his cheek. "I wasn't fast enough for Jesse."

"Oh Dean you couldn't have done a better job and Jesse isn't dead," John said as he cupped his son's distraught face hoping the words would get through.

"No," Dean said and as the dam broke the tears started to fall in earnest. He didn't deserve the praise from his father. He should have been faster, tougher. He should have found the truck and called for help. Or he should've fought harder to stay awake so Don could've gone after his Dad and Jesse sooner.

As he was berating himself silently John gathered him into his arms. It had been years since he'd held him. He had treated Dean too much like an adult. His son stiffened at first at the contact but John was not about to let him go. He held Dean tightly to his chest with his arm that was encased in the cast and with his other arm he ran his hand through Dean's hair. Something that he used to do when Dean was upset as a young boy to calm him.

Dean grabbed onto his father tightly and the tears came hot and fast. He cried for the death of Jesse. He cried over the relief that his father didn't blame him. He cried for screwing up the rescue for not being able to break into the truck. And he cried just because he was exhausted and the trip down the mountain had terrified him beyond belief.

Eventually Dean fell asleep in his father's grasp feeling safe for the first time since leaving Father Jim's listening his Dad's whispered words of comfort.

John looked up and realized that Joshua was standing in the doorway.

"I uh didn't mean," Joshua said with his hand on the door.

"It's ok. He's asleep," John said as he reached down and pulled the blankets up over Dean's back. He didn't want Dean to catch a chill.

"I just thought you'd want to know. I tried to call Jim's and didn't get through. The phone lines are still down," he said and shook his head. "Man I thought my phone company was bad."

John nodded. "What about the satellite phone?"

"Can you believe it just died?" Joshua said. "I'm going to see if I can repair it, but."

"Yeah I know. You're a vet not a phone repair man," John said and ran his hand through Dean's hair again as the boy mumbled in his sleep.

"Something like that," Joshua said as he smiled. "Thing was old and was going to go soon. I was just hoping it would have died later rather than sooner."


	16. Day 16 December 20th

**Disclaimer: **Just the usual. If you recognize it – it doesn't belong to me.

**Author's note: **Thanks to lynxlan for betaing this chapter. The other two need to be reviewed before I can post them up. But I won't be able to do that until tonight. In the mean time here is Day 16. Day 17 will follow as soon as I can get to it. It will be up today.

Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 16 December 20**

Pastor Jim and Caleb got Sam up for their morning routine. During the time Jim and Caleb watched over the little boy half heartedly go through their morning routine. Sammy only stopped when Jim put a hand on his shoulder almost an hour later.

"Whew. That was a long set. Well I'm going to grab a shower then head over to the church. Caleb brew up a pot of normal coffee," Jim said stressing the word normal. "Then make me up a cup to go?"

"Yeah sure," Caleb said with a smile.

Jim gave him a measuring look. "On second thought just brew the coffee. I'll make my own to go cup."

With that the pastor headed up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"Well Sammy let's go have a bowl of Lucky Charms," Caleb said and started towards the kitchen. He paused as he realized he was walking on his own. "Yo Sammy. Let's go."

Angel jumped off the couch and stood by Sam.

Caleb looked at him. "Sam you ok?"

Sam just looked at him blankly.

Caleb sighed and walked back over to him. He took the small hand in his and sat down. Looking seriously at the young boy standing in front of him, he wanted to make sure he had his full attention.

"I know you're worried about your Dad and Dean," Caleb started then paused as something occurred to him. "You've never really been away from Dean before, have you? He's always with you, right?"

Sam nodded slowly.

"Well now this is making more sense. He helps you get dressed, gets your meals, gets your toys and stuff and is just generally there for you, isn't he?" Caleb asked.

Sam nodded again looking more miserable as the conversation continued.

"So it's not just that you're worried about him, you also miss him and you're not really sure what to do without him. Am I right?" Caleb asked.

Sam sniffed. "I want Dean," the little boy said quietly.

"Yeah I know you do buddy. We're all worried about them," Caleb said. "Look you know that Jim and I are hunters right?"

Sam nodded.

"And you know that we'd do anything for your family, right?" Caleb asked softly.

Again Sam nodded.

"Sammy hunters look after each other. It's kinda like an unwritten code," Caleb said. "When you got upset the other night I put through a call to another hunter named Joshua. He's a very good friend of your Daddy's and they've known each other for a long time. He told me that he would throw some supplies in the bag and that he would head out that night."

Sam just looked at him rubbing at one of his eyes. "When are they coming home?" he asked softly.

"I don't know buddy. But I do know that they are coming home, ok? Don't give up on them," Caleb said softly.

Sam sighed. "I want them home now," he said.

"You and me both little man," Caleb said softly. "But you can't stop doing things. In fact I'm pretty sure that if you acted like this around your Daddy that he'd make you do laps or calisthenics or something."

"He'd makes Dean and I run laps around the motel when we make him mad," Sam admitted.

"You want to do laps around the house?" Caleb asked.

"No," Sam said.

"Good. Me either. Now then," Caleb said as he pulled the young boy into his lap and started to tickle him. "Let me show you the finer points of tickle torture," he said over the boys shrieks of laughter.

Jim came down the stairs dressed in Jeans and a comfortable t-shirt. He was going in to clean up a few things and put together the last pieces of the Nativity props for tonight's play. He came down to shrieking laughter from Sam and barks from Angel. Taking a moment he watched the boys playing in the living room. He'd recognize Caleb's moves anywhere. Classic tickle torture moves that he'd seen the boy do to Dean when he was around Sam's age.

Little Dean Winchester had been a very quiet boy. His mother had been murdered a very short time before Jim had met him. The young boy would hardly speak unless his father had asked him a direct question and Dean would respond with one or two word answers. But with Sammy it was different. The boy would talk very quietly to the baby quite a lot. He was loathe to let the baby out of his sight and more often than not was in very close proximity to the baby.

The first time it really struck home was just after John had arrived with his boys. The men were discussing Mary's death at the dining room table over coffee while Dean watched Sammy who had been placed on a blanket on the floor near by.

Sammy began to fuss and Jim looked up from where he'd been staring into his coffee listening to John's story. He expected John to get up to tend to the baby but John didn't stop his story or even glance towards the baby. Jim was going to get up himself thinking that John was just exhausted and needed a break. But Dean was already there talking softly to his brother and gathering him up gently in his arms. He settled the baby against his small shoulder and began to rock back and fourth as he sat on the floor comforting the little baby. A few moments later the baby had stopped fussing and Dean carefully shifted Sammy into his lap. The pastor was surprised to see the baby had fallen asleep. Dean picked the baby blanket up off the floor and covered his brother with it and then leaned back against the front of the couch. He stared straight ahead with one hand on the floor and the other resting protectively on his brother's chest. The young child didn't utter another word until Sammy woke up.

That evening Caleb came home from studying at a friend's place. He was introduced to John and his sons. Caleb sat down near Dean in the living room where the boy was watching T.V. The older boy tried to strike up a conversation but quickly found out that Dean didn't talk much. So he sat there and watched T.V. with him not saying another word just keepinghim company.

The next morning when Jim and Caleb went downstairs to do Tai Chi they heard crying coming from the kitchen. They found Dean pacing back and fourth trying to quiet the baby. Jim went to reach for the baby to help out the boy and suddenly Dean backed himself into a corner his eyes wide in fear. He shook his head slowly back and forth quietly uttering 'no not Sammy, don't take Sammy'.

The boy slowly slid down the wall and curled up in the corner. Dean held Sammy in a grip tight enough to keep someone from taking the baby but not tight enough to hurt him. Caleb waved off Jim and just sat down next to the little boy. He sat close enough not to be ignored, but away enough that he couldn't reach over and take the baby. Quietly he spoke to the silent boy while sending glares Jim's way to make him leave. Although it went against what he wanted to do he trusted Caleb enough to do what he felt he needed to do.

An hour later he came back into the kitchen and found Dean leaning up against Caleb with tear stained cheeks and closed red puffy eyes. And little Sammy was still in a tight grasp in his arms. Jim never knew what Caleb told Dean to get him to trust him but whatever it was really sank in with the boy. After the morning in the kitchen Dean would say a few things to Caleb during the day and would respond to Caleb with more than two words. Two days later when Jim went downstairs to do his Tai Chi he found baby Sammy laid out on a blanket on the floor and Caleb was showing Dean how to do a few Tai Chi moves.

A shriek of laughter brought the pastor out of his memories and he couldn't help but grin. Over the years Caleb had moved on from tickle torture to wrestling and mock fights with Dean. With his heart feeling a bit lighter from the boy's laughter he headed towards the kitchen to make coffee.

0000000000000

Dean had slept through most of the night and part of the day. When he finally woke he found his father was still in the room with him sleeping in a kitchen chair. He wondered how Sam was doing at the cleric's home.

"You awake?" John said gruffly.

Dean looked up as had been sure his Dad was asleep. "Yes sir," the boy replied.

"How are you feeling?" John asked sitting forward.

"Fine sir," Dean said.

John smiled slightly. "Really kiddo?"

Dean swallowed. "No sir. I'm kinda sore all over and my arm really hurts, but it's ok," he said quickly hoping he wasn't sounding weak.

John picked up his son's hand and began to unwrap the bandage that was wrapped around it. When the tan coloured bandage was removed he took the gauze off as well. He frowned at the amount of bruising around the wrist bone and into the hand and slightly up his small arm. But he was pleased to see that the skin didn't look waxy or have any lingering effects of exposure.

"Looks like a bad sprain but your colour is good, just lots of bruising," John said then looked up to Dean's face as he kept hold of his hand. "Dean do you remember how you hurt your arm?"

Dean shrugged and winced before he could stop himself.

John narrowed his eyes slightly. "Does your shoulder hurt too?" John asked.

"Only a little," Dean said.

"From the Yeti attack in the cave?" John asked.

"I'm not sure. It kinda hurt the more after I fell," Dean said.

"Yeah? When did you fall tiger?" John asked as he began to re-wrap the wrist.

A shiver ran through Dean as he flashed on a memory of falling and his shoulder colliding with the rock face.

"Dean?" John asked as his son suddenly paled.

Another chill ran through Dean and he pulled his arm away from his father. Then he pulled the blankets up around himself. He lifted his eyes up to his dad.

"I… I…," he stuttered then closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. He wasn't ready to explain his failure so soon. He opened his eyes and looked at his father again.

"I had been making my way down the mountain. I was so cold but I kept moving like you told me to. Then it was just in front of me," Dean said.

John furrowed his brow. "The yeti?" he asked.

"Yeah. I tried to fight it. I moved back to avoid it when it swiped claw at me and I fell," Dean said as he looked down at his bandaged wrist. "I hit the side of the mountain a lot on the way down. My shoulder really hurt when I stopped."

"Wait," John said interrupting his son. "You fell off the mountain?"

Dean looked up at him cringing slightly. "I'm sorry sir! It was a mistake. I always have to know where the enemy is and know where everything is around me. I know I shouldn't have fallen off the mountain. It won't happen again. I promise," Dean said in a rush.

John looked down at his son in surprise and knew he had to step carefully with what he said next. "Dean I'm not mad that you fell and I'm not mad about not knowing your fighting area. Son most people that fall off mountains don't survive. Hell most people can't make it out alive injured with no supplies," John said then paused slightly before continuing.

"Dean a grown man who had been fully trained to go after this beast would have had a very difficult time getting out alive. You did it with minimal training and no supplies," he reached out and placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "You did really good Dean."

"No sir I didn't do a good job," Dean replied softly.

"How do you figure?" John asked.

"Jesse," the boy said. "I wasn't fast enough."

John sighed loudly. "Dean do you realize how impossible your task was? Another few hours and you could've died from exposure to the elements, hypothermia or your injuries. You've been out of it for four or five days. Your body is exhausted and you haven't eaten anything since we camped out in the snow."

"But I'm fine," Dean said cutting off his father.

John smiled slightly. "No son you're not. But you will be," he said softly.

"But," Dean started to say but stopped when his father put his hand on his face.

"You saved my life. You saved Jesse's life," John said gruffly. "I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried."

Dean finally lifted his eyes to meet his fathers. "But Jesse's not here," he said softly.

John nodded finally realizing that Dean had not heard what he had said about Jesse.

"Dean Jesse's not dead. He's in the hospital getting the medical treatment he needs. By all rights you should've been in the hospital as well," John said.

"Jesse's not dead?" Dean asked.

"No son he's not," John said and saw his son close his eyes and lean back against his pillows in relief. "Listen to me. You've been asleep for a long time. You're body is still trying to recover from what you've been through in the last little while."

Dean nodded. He still felt tired.

"You're probably dehydrated which is not helping you heal. So let's get you up and out of this bed. We need to get some food and water into you kiddo before you waste away to nothing," John said.

Dean's stomach flipped nauseatingly at the thought of food but he nodded his head. "Dad?" He asked as he struggled to sit up fully.

"Yeah?" John said as he pulled away the covers and helped Dean get out of bed.

"Is Jesse nearby? Could we see him?" Dean asked.

John sat down on the bed. "Dean I'm not sure where Jesse is right now. I was airlifted to the county hospital with everyone else. But Jesse was taken to a trauma centre."

Dean nodded. "Could we find out?"

"We'll try. But first you need to eat," John said and walked his son slowly to the kitchen.


	17. Day 17 December 21st

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing recognizable in the following chapter. I just wish I did.

**Author's note: **Thanks to Lynxlan for the beta. Today's chapter is a wee bit late but here it is. Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 17 December 21**

Dean had been up and slowly making his way around the house. Eric had stuck by the small boy helping when he needed it without overwhelming him. He was slowly beginning to feel normal again. He was eating small amounts of food and drinking juice. Shane had played checkers with him and Dean had won a few games.

Joshua had taken a cab to find Jesse's pickup truck. He'd been gone for hours and Dean was sitting at the living room window watching for him to return.

"Hey kiddo," John said as he walked up to Dean. "What are you doing?"

"Joshua has been gone for a long time," he said. "It hasn't stopped snowing since he left."

John sat down beside him. He could hear the worry in his son's voice. "He'll be fine Dean."

"Yeah I know," Dean said. "I just wish it would stop snowing."

John looked at him in surprise. "I thought you loved the snow?"

"I used to," he said seriously then looked up at his Dad. "Would it be ok if we don't go survival training for a while? I mean I know it's an important skill and all. But I won't need to know how to do it if we go to California or New Mexico, right?"

John nodded. "Ok. We'll hold off on the survival training and I can't say that I blame you. But we need to go where the jobs are, you know that. We will go camping and maybe next year do the survival training. You can't let this get the better of you."

"No sir. It's just I would like to feel warm for a while first. How about no camping until the summer?" Dean asked and knew he was pushing his luck. His Dad did not negotiate. He gave orders and Dean made sure that he and Sammy followed them.

"Are you still feeling cold?" John asked.

Dean shrugged and winced slightly. "Just a little," he said.

"Well I think we could wait until the summer to go camping," John said and looked up as he saw movement outside. "Looks like he's back."

"Um Dad?" Dean asked hesitantly. He was really pushing his luck.

John looked back at him.

"I, um, well I wanted to," Dean started then faltered.

"What?" John asked.

"I want to call Sammy. Dad I promised him ten sleeps. We've been gone longer than that," Dean said in a rush.

"I've been thinking about him too. Dean if we could've called him we would've by now. The phones are out and the satellite phone stopped working. As soon as the phones are working we'll call," John said. It was true. He had been worrying a lot about his youngest even though he knew Sammy was safe at Jims. He always worried about his kids when he wasn't with them. He may be tough on his sons but he wasn't an unfeeling bastard.

Dean sighed and looked outside. "I really hate snow."

"Oh it's not so bad," Joshua said as he walked into the living room. "The roads have improved and I saw crews working on the lines. Phones should be up soon."

Dean smiled for the first time in days.

"Come on Josh. You can fix me a cup of coffee and Dean some hot chocolate," John said.

"Hey I just went and got your ride home. Why do I have to fix the hot drinks?" he asked.

"Easy," John shrugged and smiled. "We're the injured ones."

"I could make it Dad," Dean offered.

"It's ok. I got it Dean. I make a mean cup of hot chocolate and I'll do anything to keep your father from telling any more embarrassing stories," Josh said.

"Oh I haven't even gotten started on the embarrassing ones yet," John said.

"Did you tell the story about the girl he snuck into the barracks that was the sergeant's niece?" Dean asked as he and John went into the kitchen.

Joshua watched them walk away. "Shoot me now," he muttered good naturedly then followed them into the kitchen.

0000000000000

Sammy walked into the living room looking for Caleb. He found him watching a hockey game.

"Caleb?" he asked softly.

"Hey Sammy," Caleb said.

Sammy glanced to the TV and watched the current play for a moment then turned back to Caleb. He shifted uncomfortably. "Could you help me with something?"

"Sure kiddo. What do you need?" Caleb asked moving his attention from the hockey game to Sammy.

"Dad promised he'd be back for Christmas," Sammy said.

Caleb nodded. "Yeah?"

Sammy nodded. "But I don't have anything for them."

"Ok. Did you want to go shopping?" Caleb offered. He didn't have a lot of money but he was sure they could come up with something from the mall.

"No," Sammy said shaking his head then told Caleb what he wanted to do.

"That's a great idea. That I can help you with," he said then started to grin slowly. "You know there's something I need to do. Go get your jacket on."

"Does it involve tickle torture?" Sammy asked taking a step back.

"No. No tickle torture," Caleb said.

True to his word there had been no tickle torture. But a half hour later as he stood inside the local mall he wondered if he meant to torture himself or Sammy. The little guy had begged to leave five times since they got there. There were screaming children, ridiculous loud music and parents going mental on their children.

"Caleb we don't even believe in Santa," Sammy said as he pulled on Caleb's jacket.

"You don't believe in Santa Clause?" a little girl said who had turned at his statement.

"Yeah that's right. He's actually half Jewish and he's never experienced coming to see Santa," Caleb said to the little one and his eyes lit up as the woman with her turned and looked at him. "I'm his cool uncle."

"Caleb," Sammy whined. "You're not."

He quickly wrapped a hand around Sammy's mouth to stop him from whatever he was going to say.

"I'm Caleb," he said softly to the woman and offered his free hand in greeting.

"Susan," she said with a slight chuckle. "So does the cool uncle usually volunteer for Santa torture?" she asked.

"Only on the good days," he replied smoothly.

She smiled at him as the little girl grabbed her hand and pulled her forward to the train.

"_Ca-leb_," Sammy whined and stomped his foot.

"What is it Sammy?" he asked.

"What is it?" The little boy repeated. "What are we doing here?"

"You don't know what you're supposed to do with Santa?" Caleb asked.

"Sure I do. I'm supposed to believe that the man up there is the real Santa Clause. I'm supposed to tell him what a good boy I've been and then tell him what I want for Christmas. But we never celebrate Christmas unless we're at Pastor Jim's. And I don't believe in Santa. So why would he bring me anything?" he asked.

"Humour me Samuel," Caleb said then couldn't help but chuckle at the grimace that crossed the boys face.

"My name is Sammy," he said.

"Well then _Sammy_ it sounds like you have this covered. Now go get on the stupid train," Caleb said and watched as Sammy got on the train and rode the device until it delivered him to Santa.

Sam sighed and got off the train and walked up the red carpet. He stood in front of the man in the costume.

"Ho-ho-ho. Well hello there little boy. What's your name?" Santa asked.

"Sammy," he said giving the man a good once over as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well Sammy would you like to join me up here?" the man in red said.

Sammy stared at the man for another moment. "Christo," he said.

"I'm sorry?" Santa said. "I didn't quite get that."

Sammy sighed and looked over to where Caleb was waiting for him. He was flirting with some floosie.

"Come on up here Sammy," Santa said.

Sammy sighed heavier and slowly made his way up the stairs to where the man was sitting on a red throne accented in gold. A woman dressed as an elf picked him up and sat him on Santa's lap.

"So have you been a good boy this year?" Santa asked.

"No," Sammy said.

Santa's eyebrows went up. "No?"

"No sir I haven't," Sammy said.

"Well I'm sure you didn't mean to be bad?" Santa asked. This was a first. All children said they'd been good when it came to this time of year.

"Oh I try to be good but sometimes it's much easier to be bad," Sammy said.

"Aint that the truth," Santa mumbled.

Sam leaned in slightly closer staring at the beard. "It's not a real beard is it?"

"Sure it is," Santa replied as he shifted back a bit.

"Whatever. Look here's the deal. Just nod or something like I'm asking for something normal," Sammy said.

Santa nodded.

"The only thing I want is my dad and brother back from their trip in time for Christmas. I don't want anything else," Sammy said. "I also know that this isn't something you can do. No one can. They're not coming back."

Santa was quiet for a moment at a complete loss with this child. "Well don't lose hope son. Christmas is the season of miracles. Hope and belief are very important. You cannot give up on them. You need to believe and have faith that they will come home. But only you can believe. Only you can have faith that they will come back. Ok?"

Sammy looked at him for a moment. "Why is everyone so sure they're coming home?" He asked softly,

"Why would you believe that your family would give up on you?" Santa asked in a way of answering his question.

Sammy furrowed his brow. "They wouldn't give up on me."

"Then would you say that they would do anything to get back to you?" Santa asked.

Sammy was quiet as he considered the question. Daddy left them for days at a time but he did that because he knew that Dean was with him. His big brother would never let anything happen to him. Dean always put himself between any threat and Sammy. "They would."

"Well then they're coming home then. Now that we have that settled would you like a big F16 model or laser tag outfit or a big battery powered truck that you could drive around your yard? Those are big this year."

"No sir. I just want my family back," Sammy said. "I'll be very good for the whole year. I won't make extra messes just 'cause it's fun to watch Dean fuss. I'll keep my mittens on while playing outside. I won't ask Daddy a lot of questions in a row so he'll get a headache. I'll do almost anything to make sure they get home."

"Where's you're family son?" Santa asked.

"They're in the woods camping," Sammy said.

"Well then I'm sure they'll be home. Look at the camera," Santa said and a big flash blinded them both for a moment.

Then Sam was walked down a wooden platform and given back to Caleb.

"Well how was that?" Caleb asked as he paid for the picture and took the envelope with the Polaroid inside.

Sammy glared up at him. "You know we could have played video games or something. But no. Dad's gonna tear you a new one for wasting money," he said tersely.

Caleb grinned down at him.

"What?" Sammy demanded.

"Your father will have to come home to do that," he said.

The little boy looked up at him. "Can we just go home now?" he asked.

"Nope. Gotta get Jim's present next," Caleb said as he glanced at the stores around him and then back down at Sammy. "What should we get him?"

"Well last year you got him a shirt I think," Sammy said as he tilted his head to the side as he thought about it. "How about a new whet stone? Or a big knife, or some iron rounds or…"

Caleb looked up at a woman who was hustling her children away from them. "Sammy! Hey do you know what the first rule of hunting is?"

Sammy nodded and smiled up at him. "Never back down and kick the demon's ass back into Hell."

Caleb laughed out loud. "Well yeah that's a rule but it's not the first one."

"Oh right. The first rule about hunting is to always know where your enemy is and know your fighting area," he said.

"Nope. Although that is a good rule. The first rule of hunting is we do what we do and we shut up about it. Meaning we don't spout off in malls about weaponry or demons. Got it?" Caleb asked.

"All right fine. But just remember you asked the question," Sammy said as he snatched the picture out of the Caleb's hand and walked away from him.

Caleb smiled and hurried after him.


	18. Day 18 December 22nd

**Disclaimer**: Anything you recognize does not belong to me. I own nothing.

**Author's note**: Thanks to lynxlan for the beta. Tommorrow is going to be quite the insane day for me so I thought I would post a little early. Next post on Saturday hopefully. Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 18 December 22**

Dean was up early that morning and was sitting at the table drinking some water when Joshua got up.

"Hey morning kiddo. You're up early," Josh said as he came into the room. "Hey did you make coffee?"

"Yeah," Dean said softly and took a drink of water.

Josh poured himself a cup of the dark brew and joined Dean at the table. "So what would you like for breakfast?'

Dean shrugged. "I'm not really hungry," he said softly.

"I hear you there. Just can't seem to eat when I get up," he said and gave the boy a measured look. "What's on your mind?"

Dean shrugged again and looked at his water.

"Missing Sammy?" he ventured.

"Yeah. It's kinda weird not having him with me," Dean said.

"What else?" Josh asked.

Dean looked at him and looked away. "Don and his family have been so nice. I was just thinking with Christmas only a couple of days away that maybe," he started and paused.

"You want to give them something for Christmas? I think that's a great idea. What were you thinking of doing?" Joshua asked.

"I'm not sure," Dean said.

"Well I told Don I'd go into town and pick up some things for him. Would you like to come with me?" Josh asked.

Dean chewed on his lip as he thought about it. He couldn't seem to feel warm and to go into town he would have to go out into the cold snow.

"Don't worry Dean. I'll ask your Dad for you. It might be nice to get out of the house for a bit," Josh said.

Dean looked out the window and then back to Joshua.

"Ah. You're worried about the cold," Josh smiled at him. "Not to worry. We can bundle you up well."

"Bundle him up well for what?" John asked as he came into the room.

Dean looked up at his Dad.

"You making a nuisance of yourself Dean?" John asked as he reached for the pot of coffee.

"He's done no such thing and no coffee for you. I'm still not convinced that you've re-hydrated properly," Joshua admonished his friend.

John turned and took a drink of the coffee as he look at his friend.

Josh sighed. "I need to run into town. I thought Dean would like to come with me is all. Thought I could help him get a new jacket seeing that his old one is trashed."

John looked down into his cup. Dean could use a new jacket but he didn't have any money.

"Dean do me a favour. I need to remove some stitches from your Dad. Mind getting me my first aid kit?" Joshua asked.

Dean got up and quickly headed off to get the bag.

"John let me do this. It's a long drive back to Jim's. Even with the heater going I'll bet Dean feels the cold. The car could be 35 degrees and he'll still be shivering," Joshua said.

John looked up at Joshua. "I don't have a lot of money right now," he said.

"Let me get this for him. It's not like it's something frivolous. He needs a new jacket," he said. "I'm not worried about the money."

John sighed. He hated taking charity. He could look after his boys.

"I know what you're thinking. It's not charity. It's just a jacket," Josh said.

Dean came back into the room and held up the bag to Joshua.

"Thank you Dean. Sit up at the table. I'm going to check your shoulder and arm as well," Josh said quietly.

John looked over at his son. The house was warm but Dean was bundled in sweats and a heavy sweater.

"Dean you're going into town with Joshua after he looks us over. He will buy you a new jacket. You will not ask for anything while you're there and you will be on your best behaviour," John ordered.

"Yes sir," Dean said softly.

"Well now that's settled be a good boy and sit at the table so I can rip out those stitches," Josh said.

John grumbled under his breath as he did what his friend asked.

"Don't hurt him," Dean said with wide eyes.

John scowled down at his son.

Josh smiled at him. "Don't worry kid. Your Daddy is the toughest son of a bitch I've ever met. He won't even feel this."

Dean looked away and took a sip of his water.

0000000000000

Sammy was sitting at the dining room table concentrating on the paper in front of him. Angel was lying under the table at his feet. Caleb and Jim were sitting on the couch watching the news.

"How was he today?" Jim asked.

"Fairly quiet. Tickle torture only works for so long," Caleb said softly.

Jim nodded. "So I take it there were no calls today?"

Caleb sighed heavily. "No."

Sammy got up and joined the men in the living room, Angel following behind him.

"All finished tiger?" Caleb asked.

Sammy nodded and sat down on the floor leaning back against the couch. Angel settled next to him.

Jim watched as the boy looked blankly into the fireplace. His hand slowly running the length of the dog's back.

Caleb took the paper bag off the side table and handed it to Sammy. The little boy took it, removed the rawhide bone and gave it to the dog. As Angel started to chew it Sammy took up stroking her back again.

Jim caught Caleb's eye and nods towards the kitchen.

"Want some popcorn Sammy?" Caleb asked.

Sammy shrugged and continued to stare into the fire.

"Well I'll take that as a yes. I'll be right back," Caleb said and followed Jim into the kitchen. He prepared the popcorn and turned on the popper.

"I've told him almost every day that they're coming back," Caleb said and sighed. "I don't think he believes me anymore."

Jim nodded. "Dean told him ten sleeps and they'd be back."

"I found the paper torn up and crumpled in his garbage can this morning," Caleb said sadly. "I just don't know how else to say it to him."

Jim nodded. "I think the only thing that will help the boy now is his dad and big brother."

"You've not given up then?" Caleb asked softly.

Jim shook his head having barely heard the question over the popper. "No. Miracles happen everyday and more so at Christmas. We just have to believe enough for Sammy."

Caleb nodded.

0000000000000

It was late when Joshua came into Dean's room. He'd seen the light on under the door and figured the boy was awake. He was standing over by the window staring at the falling snow. He was sure he saw the boy shiver.

"Dean?" he said softly.

Dean jumped at the voice and turned quickly to see who it was. He knocked his shoulder into the wall that he'd been leaning on an he scrunched his eyes up at the pain. A small whimper escaped him before he could hold it back.

Josh closed the door behind him and rushed over to him. "Hey easy there," he said softly as he knelt in front of him.

Dean opened his eyes breathing deeply against the pain. "It's ok," he whispered.

Josh nodded. "Can't sleep?" he asked.

Dean shook his head and looked back outside. He had been asleep but after reliving his fight with the snow beast and falling down the mountain he was wide awake. Nightmares were something he was not accustomed to dealing with. He usually slept through the night with no problems unless Sammy needed him.

"Well then it's good that you're up," Josh said. "Want to help me wrap these?"

Josh showed him the bag of items that they'd picked up in town. There was something in here for Don and his boys, Sammy and John. It had taken a good hour to get the boy to tell him what he wanted. Dean kept saying it wasn't allowed and that his Dad wouldn't approve.

Dean nodded slowly and Josh could see the guilt on the boys face.

"Hey we already have them. Might as well wrap them up and put 'em under the tree," Josh tried to reason with him.

Dean reached for a small box with his good hand and Joshua put a roll of wrapping paper on the bed. An hour later Josh pulled the blankets up over the sleeping boy and left the room. He'd done most of the wrapping but Dean had been quite helpful. Quietly he went out to the tree and placed the gifts under the tree. Then he lay down on the couch.

"Dean ok?" John asked.

Joshua bolted up with a gasp. "Jesus man. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" he asked and reached over to turn on the lamp.

John sighed. "I said only the jacket."

"Yeah well we found some nice things in the store that I thought the twins and Don would like," Josh said. "Look John I think we both know that this trip has taken a toll on Dean. He was awake and somewhat shaken when I went into his room."

"What do you mean shaken?" John asked leaning forward in the chair.

"Surely you've noticed that he hasn't been able to get warm? That he looks outside with apprehension? He's not speaking unless someone talks to him first?" Joshua said. "John are you paying attention to him?"

"Of course I'm paying attention to him," John snapped back.

"Look this has been hard on you and Dean. But last night and tonight he's been calling out in his sleep," Joshua said. "John I don't know what that boy has been through but he's been traumatized. He's doing his best to keep going and acting like he's fine but the reality is that he's not ok."

"Dean's tough. He'll be fine," John said.

"Yes he will. But if you don't talk to him, find out what's going through his mind then he may not be. It's just going to be harder when you return to Jim's. He'll put up an even braver front for Sammy. You know that," Joshua said.

"Dean is a hunter. He needs to learn that hunts are not easy," John said sounding very defensive.

"Hey what's going on out here?" Don asked. "You guys are going to wake the entire house."

John sighed and shook his head.

"We're just worried about Dean," Joshua said softly.

"Well he has been through a rather difficult adventure," Don offered as he sat down on the recliner.

"Dean will be fine," John stressed. "Don thank you for your hospitality and for all your help. Dean and I will be leaving in the morning."

"All right. But you're welcome to stay if you would like to. You've been through quite the adventure as well. Are you sure," Don said but was cut off by John.

"I'm sure," John said sharply then walked away.

Joshua shook his head as his friend walked away.

"Was it something I said?" Don asked perplexed.

"No," Joshua said. "John wasn't always like this. He really does care for his sons."

"I hear a but in there," Don said.

"But since his wife died four and a half years ago he's been closed off. He's been hard on his kids. But he is a good father," Josh said.

"I can see that he's a good Dad," Don said softly. "I can tell he really cares about Dean. But I have to say that when my boys were nine I wouldn't have taken them on a hunt."

Joshua nodded. "I wouldn't have either. He figured Dean could handle it so he took him."

Don's brow was furrowed. "There's something I don't understand."

Joshua looked at him. "Yeah?"

"What exactly were they hunting?" Don asked.

Joshua paused before answering trying to come up with something that would explain hunting. "John's wife was murdered. Since then he's been hunting down criminals on the run."

"He's a bounty hunter?" Don asked.

"Something like that. But I believe the man on this hunt wasn't supposed to be that dangerous. More of a Dad who hadn't been paying his wife alimony and child support," Joshua said quickly coming up with the lie.

"Yeah that doesn't sound too dangerous," Don said. "How did it go wrong?"

"Who knows. Look we'll be out of your way tomorrow," Joshua said.

"I'm sorry I asked but I've been wondering about it since we found Dean. If you're worried that I'm going to call someone I won't. Things can go bad quickly out in the wilderness," Don said. "Sometimes my curiosity just gets the better of me. You, Dean and John are welcome to stay as long as you want. Really."

Joshua smiled at him calming himself. "Sorry. Sometimes I get a little over protective. John and Dean need to get back to Sammy. And I have an estranged wife that I'm trying to get back together with. I promised I'd be back for Christmas. If I don't fulfill my promise my chances fly right out of the window."

"Well it's been great having you guys here. Normally winters here are pretty boring. This has been the most that has happened around here in years," Don said wryly and yawned. "Well I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning."


	19. Day 19 December 23rd

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing in this story except for the actual story idea. And don't ask me where the idea came from. Taking a spin in my seriously dark twisted mind is not for the squeamish.

**Author's note: **I appreciate all of your patience while waiting for this and Day 20. Thanks to my wonderful beta lynxlan these chapters are much better than when I originally wrote them.

To everyone celebrating on this wet and stormy Christmas Eve stay safe out there and enjoy the festive season. Hope you are having a White Christmas. I swear one of these years we will have a white Christmas on the west coast. Just not this year. sigh

Enjoy!

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 19 December 23**

Dean stood in the kitchen looking out over the snow covered ground watching the snow fall. He had a cup of warm water he was drinking from every so often. From inside the warm cozy home he could feel winter's cold grasp still on him. He shivered as the wind blew slightly making the flakes dance and go in different directions.

"Mesmerizing isn't it," Eric said to him as he came up beside him.

Dean nodded as he shivered. He didn't want to go out there. It was far too cold.

"You look a little worried," Eric said almost nonchalantly.

"Just a long drive ahead of us," Dean said tiredly and took another sip of warm water.

"Don't you want to get back to your little brother?" the older boy asked.

"More than anything," he said softly. He just wished he didn't have to go outside to do it.

"Dean lets get a move on, huh?" John said coming into the kitchen.

Dean nodded at his dad and looked up at Eric. "Thank you."

"Hey no problem sport. Glad we could help," he said. "Now you have my address, right? I'll be expecting a letter so we can become pen-pals like we talked about."

Dean glanced nervously towards his father then back to Eric. "Yeah I put it into my pack. I'll write soon," he said softly as he shook the older boy's hand.

"Got your stuff packed?" John asked.

"Yes sir," Dean said. "It's down by the front door."

"Good. Then we're all loaded up. Go get your jacket on. We need to get started if we'll make it to Jim's by tonight," John said.

Dean nodded and with one final glance back at Eric went downstairs.

"Eric thank you for being so good to my son," John said softly. "I really appreciate it."

"It was no problem Mr. Winchester. He's a good kid," Eric said and held out his hand. "I hope your journey home is safer than your hunting trip."

John smiled reached out and shook his hand. "You and me both. Take care," he said then headed for the front door.

Joshua looked up from where he was tying his hiking boots. "About ready to go old man?"

"Old man? I'm just a year older than you freak," John said.

Dean stood by the door with his jacket on. They said good by to Don and Shane and headed back into town. They parked Jesse's truck in front of Joshua's room.

"So are you sure you don't want to come? Jim would be happy to see you," John said.

"Well it sure is tempting but I really do need to head back to Anna," Joshua said. "But tell the preacher man that I may drop by for a visit in January."

John smiled at him. "Will do."

"Hey Dean," Joshua said. "Take care of your old man here."

"Yes sir," Dean said. "I will."

John rolled his eyes.

"Oh and one last thing," Joshua said. "You know you're welcome at the farm anytime, right? It's a fair size house with lots of guest rooms and space train. When you're ready to learn how to rope some cattle I'll be happy to teach you."

Dean smiled in the back seat. "Sure. Sounds like fun," he said with a roll of his eyes. Then got out of the truck.

"Oh and you'll keep me updated on Jesse's condition, right?" He asked quietly.

John's expression went from light to dark and closed off. "Sure I'll call you in a few days," he said

"Jesse will be fine John. He just needs some time and then he'll be back hunting with a vengeance," Joshua said.

John nodded. "Take care old friend."

"You too," Joshua said and then he was out of the truck. He said something quietly to Dean pointing to his shoulder.

Dean shook his head and smiled up at the man. John noticed that his boy still had very dark circles under his eyes and wondered how much sleep he'd been getting.

Dean struggled but climbed into the truck. They waved at Joshua as he went into the room and they pulled out of the motel lot.

"Think we'll still make it Dad?" Dean asked as he reached over and turned on the heat.

"We might," John said thinking of his youngest.

Dean nodded.

"Dean lean back and close your eyes," John said softly.

"I'm not tired," Dean said as he looked over at his father.

"Didn't ask you if you were tired. I said lean back and close our eyes. You need some rest," John said.

Dean sighed softly he didn't want to sleep but the tone in his father's voice didn't leave him much choice. "Yes sir," he said quietly and did as he was told.

Shortly after his son closed his eyes John could hear the soft sighs of sleep coming out of the boy. He pulled up to a red light and stopped. Quickly he pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around his sleeping boy. As the light turned green John straightened up and pulled forward.

"Thanks Dad," Dean whispered then fell deeper into sleep.

John smiled slightly as he pulled onto the freeway and headed towards Jim's.

0000000000000

Dean slowly opened his eyes and realized that the truck had stopped. He sat up sharply and searched the parking lot for his father. A stab of fear sliced through him as for a fleeting moment he thought his Dad had left him behind.

A tapping on the glass behind him made him turn quickly and he saw his father standing there filling the truck. Dean opened the truck door and silently cursed his decision to do so. Icy cold wind sliced through two layers of jackets and he shivered.

"Dad?" Dean said.

"Yeah?" John responded.

"Where are we?" the boy asked as he knuckled one of his eyes.

"I'm not exactly sure. But we are two hours closer to Jim's," John said as he replaced the nozzle on the pump. "Come on. We'll get something to eat inside."

"I'm not hungry," Dean said softly.

John smiled. "Not even for M&M's?" he asked.

Dean's mouth watered slightly at the thought of the candy coated chocolate but at the same time his stomach started to do somersaults.

"Dean?" John asked as his smile turned into a frown of concern.

Dean closed his eyes against the nausea he was feeling. He opened them when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Dean are you feeling alright? Are you in pain?" John asked and could've kicked himself. His boy had a sprained wrist and not once had he asked for anything to help with the pain. He wasn't even sure when the boy had eaten last.

Dean blinked and swallowed a few times. "I'm ok. Just a little dizzy. Maybe I should try to eat something," he said.

John gave him a measuring look and nodded. "And we'll get you something for the pain as well," he said.

Dean nodded.

John helped his son out of the truck and ignored the grousing about how he didn't need help. A few moments later they were back on the road with a bag full of goodiesd. John had given Dean some Tylenol to help with the pain and noticed that the boy had fallen asleep almost as soon as he'd gotten back into the truck. He sighed heavily. He'd make sure he ate something the next time he woke.

0000000000000

Dean drifted in and out of sleep a few times and John had finally ordered the boy to eat a few bites of a sandwich. The boy drank down a full bottle of Gatorade and then fell back to sleep. While the boy slept John had stopped multiple times to help stranded motorists back onto the road. But he cursed as he brought the truck to a stop behind a line of cars.

"Dad?" Dean asked.

"Sit tight Dean. Lock the door and don't get out unless I tell you too," John ordered as he got out of the car.

Dean watched him walk away and held his arm closer to his chest. His wrist throbbed and hurt more than his shoulder did. But he had been trying hard to suck it up and not bother his Dad about it. He looked up as John returned to the car and knocked on Dean's car door.

Dean opened it. "What happened Dad?"

"Get out of the car Dean," John ordered as he looked in the back of Jesse's truck. He pulled out shovels.

Dean shivered at the cool air but got out of the truck and stood by his Dad. He took a shovel from him.

"There was a small avalanche up ahead. There's a couple of feet of snow and some small debris on the road. Other drivers are working to get it cleared. Can your shoulder handle some shovelling?" John asked.

"Yes sir," Dean said even though he wasn't sure but he'd make it work.

"Good boy," John said and they headed towards the small slide.

Dean stationed himself next to his father and began to shovel. Pain radiated from his wrist and went up his arm into his neck. He did his best to blank the pain and everything out. Thrust the shovel into the snow. Get a full load and walk it to the side of the road. Then back for more.

A few times he dropped the shovel and quickly picked it up while ignoring concerned glances from his father. He had to look like he could deal with this. After all his father had a cast on his arm and he was doing fine. If his Dad could do it without looking like he was in pain then he could do it too. If he couldn't his father would see him as weak and he couldn't live with that.

After about an hour the group had cleared enough for two lanes of traffic to get through. The motorists returned to their cars.

"How're you doing Dean?" John asked as they walked back to the truck.

Dean dropped his shovel again. He scrambled to pick it up again. "I'm fine sir," he said softly.

"Here let me take that," John said as he took the tool out of his son's hand.

Dean looked at his wrist as his father took the shovel away from him and frowned. He pulled at the bandaging slightly and intense pain shot from his wrist into his fingers and up into his neck. He gasped at the sharp pain and pulled his arm protectively in against his chest.

"Dean are you sure you're ok?" John asked as he knelt in front of him.

"Yes sir, just moved it the wrong way I think," Dean said and held back a groan as his father put a hand on his shoulder unknowingly adding to the pain. "Could we just go?"

John looked at him for a moment. "Sure," he said as he squeezed Dean's shoulder slightly and then straightened up. A few steps later they were back at the truck and John was putting the tools away in the back of the truck.

Dean eased himself into the truck and slouched against the seat. He closed his eyes as his father started the truck. He felt exhausted and the pain was almost too intense. Opening his eyes he reached over with his good hand and turned on the heater.

As the warmth spread through the truck Dean let himself drift into sleep.

Three hours later they were still on their way to Pastor Jim's. It was late and John knew they wouldn't make it back that night.

He pulled off the road and into a motel parking lot.

"Dad?" Dean asked. "I thought we were going straight for Pastor Jim's?"

"Sorry kiddo. It's late and I'm having a difficult time keeping my eyes open. We'll be back on the road early," he said gruffly and got out of the car.

Dean watched forlornly as his father made his way into the motel office. His shoulder's slumped. He needed to get back to Sammy and he needed for the pain to go away. But maybe at least they could call when they got into the motel room.

John returned and drove the car around back to their room. Both Winchesters were beyond exhausted. As John opened the door and walked in he dropped the bag of clothes on the small table by the door and walked Dean to his bed. His oldest son barely had his eyes open.

"Daddy I don't wanna sleep. Wanna call Sammy," Dean said as his eyes closed.

John smiled down at him as he gently took off Dean's jacket. He pulled back the covers of the motel bed and sat Dean on the bed. Then he took off his shoes and socks. "Lie down Dean," John said softly.

Dean sighed and mumbled something before he lay down. John brought the blankets up around him and then glanced at the phone. He wanted to call but it was two in the morning and there was no reason to upset Jim with an early morning phone call. They'd call in the morning.

With that thought firmly in place John took off his shoes then got into bed. A moment later he was asleep.


	20. Day 20 December 24th

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Really. Absolutely nothing. I just wish I had thought to ask Santa for a Sheltie.

**Author's Notes: **Yay! This one's posted on the right day! Gotta love the chaos and mayhem of the season. I swear there's a nefarious plot to keep me from posting on time! LOL

Merry Christmas everyone. Be safe during your celebrations.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 20 December 24**

John and Dean didn't get back onto the road until later that morning. Both had slept past nine and by the time they had showered and were ready to hit the road again they barely made it by the check out time.

Dean stood by his father beside the pay phone watching his father as he sighed and hung up the phone.

"They're not there Dean," John said softly. "Let's get going."

Dean nodded and followed his father slightly crest fallen. He needed to know his little brother was ok. He needed Sammy to understand that he hadn't lied to him that they were coming home. He just needed to talk to him. Now he understood the relief he heard in his father's voice over the phone when he called in while hunting.

John spotted a motorist stuck on the side of the road. The road had been quiet with not a lot of traffic so he pulled off onto the shoulder to help them out.

"Dad please don't stop," Dean said.

John turned off the engine and looked over at his son. "Dean I know we need to get back to Sammy but even though it's hard you need to do the right thing. Right now helping out these people is the right thing to do. It's also what we do. We help people who can't help themselves. Usually that involves the supernatural, but in this case it's just an old lady and a flat tire. Now stay in the car. I shouldn't be long," he said and got out.

Dean sat in the car scowling at the dashboard. Why couldn't Sammy be the right thing right now? Why was it that someone else, anyone else, seemed to come before John Winchester's sons.

Dean sighed. He knew he wasn't being fair. His Dad did his best and he was right. They helped people who couldn't help themselves. Usually it was with a haunting, or a wendigo, or a yeti. A chill ran through him at the thought of facing another snow monster.

His eyes widened. They hadn't finished the job. They had left without killing the snow monster. It was still out there and it would kill someone else unless they went back and finished the job.

Dean sat there in the now cold car as he waited for his father to finish up with the old lady's car. When he finally returned to the car he started the engine without a word and got back onto the road.

"Dad we have to go back," Dean said. "Now."

John's brow furrowed. "Go back? Dean why would we go back? We need to get home to Sammy."

"Yeah Sammy," Dean said softly then shook his head. "But you said we have to help people. We have to do what's right. We need to go back to finish the job. I didn't kill it!"

"Whoa Dean. Slow down there. The job is over. Joshua killed it," John said.

"Are you sure? Did he see a body?" Dean asked.

John glanced over at his son then returned to watching the road. "Dean Joshua is an expert shot. I'm sure he took it out. The yeti is dead son."

"But did he see a body?" Dean pressed.

John pursed his lips and rubbed on hand over his forehead. "No," John said but kept on driving.

"Dad. We have to go back. This is what we do. I wanna see Sammy but we have to finish the job," Dean said.

"Dean as far as I am concerned the job is over. At least for now. We'll get back to Jim's and call Joshua. Ok?" John said.

Dean was silent for a moment. "Ok," he said and leaned back into the seat. His whole arm was throbbing and now his back and neck were joining in.

He reached over and turned up the heat. The car felt like it was freezing and by the look that his father gave him he knew it wasn't. He shivered in the warmth of the car and closed his eyes. He was so tired and all he had been doing was sleeping. But things were better when he was asleep. Nothing hurt and it was fine until he dreamed of the yeti. He prayed he didn't dream of the snow monster as he felt himself drift into sleep.

John glanced over to his son again. The boy was pale, too pale for his liking. But Joshua had looked him over and he trusted his friend's judgment. He'd take his over any strange doctor any day. Josh had saved his life more than once in the corps. He knew if the man had any suspicions that anything was wrong, any inkling what so ever he would have told John. So he let the boy rest as he continued to drive to wards Jim's and his baby boy.

0000000000000

Sammy had stopped speaking and hadn't really eaten for the last two days. He had been doing everything he's been told to do, but it was almost like he was doing it by remote. The spark in his eyes was gone and he was sure that he was never going to see his family again.

Caleb got Sammy ready and they went to Jim's church for the early service. It was the children's Christmas Eve service. The church was full to capacity and Jim was in his element talking to the full house. He called all of the children up to the front of the church to gather around him as he prepared to tell the story of Jesus. He waited patiently as the children made their way to the front. He looked over to where Sammy and Caleb were sitting and noticed that Sammy had a white knuckled grip on Caleb's dress jacket.

"Sammy don't you want to go up with the other kids? Jim's right there and I'll be here when the story's over," Caleb said softly to him.

Sammy shifted slightly closer to him.

Caleb looked up as he wrapped an arm around the boy. He caught Jim's eye and shook his head. Jim gave a quick nod in understanding. Then he focused on the children around him and started the story.

When the service was over Caleb steered Sammy into Jim's office. Jim had one more service to do before they could leave. Sammy hadn't let go of his death grip on Caleb's jacket and the older teen had no idea what to do with the boy.

Caleb sat down on the couch in Jim's office with a heavy sigh. When Sammy just stood beside him he pulled Sammy onto the couch to sit beside him.

Jim rushed into the room. "Hey guys," he said.

"Nice service," Caleb said as he wrapped an arm around Sammy.

"Here," Jim said putting some cups down on the table. One was a coffee and the other an orange juice. "See if you can get him to drink any of that."

"Sure. Thanks for the coffee," Caleb said looking at the slightly agitated cleric.

Jim sipped at his own coffee looking concerned at the boy in Caleb's arms.

"I put out some stories earlier," Jim motioned to the stack of books on the end of the small coffee table. "His favourite is on the top. Maybe you could read one to him?"

"No problem. Hey I thought you liked this service the best?" Caleb said.

"Yeah I do. Why?" Jim asked.

"Well you're usually a lot calmer than this," Caleb said with a small smile.

Jim sighed as he put his coffee down then rubbed at his tired eyes. "Yeah I know."

Caleb reached forward and picked up his coffee. Leaning back he took a sip of the dark brew and watched the cleric for a moment. He was concerned about his father. The man was exhausted. He knew he was worried about Jesse, John and Dean, but neither one of them were ready to give up on them.

"They'll be here soon," Caleb said softly. "'Sides. It's the time of miracles and stuff, right?"

Jim looked up and met his eyes. He smiled slightly. "Yes. Yes it is," he said softly.

A knock at the door brought the moment to a close.

"Excuse me pastor," an older woman said as she stepped into the room.

"Yes Sadie?" Jim asked.

"Oh sorry to interrupt. I didn't know you had guests," Sadie said.

"It's alright," Jim said. "What's up?"

"Well we can't seem to find the communion glasses," she said. "They're usually kept in that small room with the rest of the communion supplies, but they're not there."

"Yes I asked Max to prepare them just before coming in here. He should be filling them right now. Try the kitchen," Jim said. "If they're not there let me know."

Sadie smiled. "Ok Jim," she said and shut the door behind her.

"Sadie's been around the longest. She's an elder of the church. Always ready to help out," Jim said softly.

Caleb nodded. "Finish your coffee Dad. It's going to be a long night," he said softly.

Jim met his eyes once more. It was extremely rare that Caleb would call him Dad. He smiled at the young man and took a sip of his coffee.

"Why don't you take him home?" Jim suggested.

Caleb looked down at the tyke. "We will be fine in here until you're done. We've got books, coffee and juice. If I read him a story he'll probably fall asleep. He looks exhausted."

"I found him standing in front of the Christmas tree this morning around five," Jim said. "I'm not sure he's sleeping."

Caleb shook his head. "John can sure pick these things."

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked.

"Think about it. My first job was a salt and burn and I was thirteen. It wasn't far from our home and I was back a few hours later a little battered and bruised. Dean's nine, it's a much harder job and Sammy's never been apart from him before," Caleb said frustration clear in his voice. "This has sucked out loud since the beginning."

"They're not coming home," Sammy said softly.

"Sammy why are you so sure about that? I mean you had a nightmare, that's all," Caleb said.

Sammy shook his head. "Dean promised. He never lies to me. He promised ten sleeps and he'd be home with Dad. If he was coming he'd be here by now."

"Sammy you know this was Dean's first hunt, right?" Jim asked.

Sammy nodded.

"Well he probably told you ten sleeps because John told him ten sleeps," Caleb said trying to reason with the boy.

Sammy shook his head. "Daddy said eight sleeps," he said.

"Ok. So Dean was giving the job two extra days just in case they ran into something unexpected, right?" Jim asked.

Sammy nodded.

"Well then he knew something might go wrong. So they just needed a few more days. They will come back Sammy," Jim said softly.

"Daddy calls. The phone rings once then he hangs up. Then the phone rings again and we know it's him so it's ok to pick up," Sammy said. "Daddy didn't call."

Jim sighed and looked up at his clock. "Look I've got another service to do. I'll be back when it's done and we'll head home."

"Don't worry about us. We'll read, drink some juice," Caleb said with a light tone he didn't feel. "We'll be fine. Won't we dude?"

Sammy just sighed.

0000000000000

"So Sammy want to hear a story?" Caleb asked not expecting a response from the boy and he wasn't disappointed. The boy remained silent locked in his own thoughts.

Caleb leaned forward and took the first book off the stack. It was going to be a long hour. He opened the large picture book and began to read Twas The Night Before Christmas. But before he could turn the page to start on page three Sammy lunged forward and shoved the book out of Caleb's hands with a whimper.

Caleb looked down at the little boy who was staring down at the book that was now on the floor.

Slowly Sammy leaned back into Caleb shaking slightly. Tears began to fall silently down the little boy's face. Dean promised to read the story when he got back and no one else could read stories like his older brother could. No one could make him feel safe and loved like Dean could.

Unsure what else to do Caleb lifted the little one into his lap and pulled him back to rest on his chest. "Ok so story books are out. And you've already heard tonight's most important story from the master story teller himself," Caleb said softly.

The room was silent for a while. Then Caleb cleared his throat.

"I guess you've never heard the story of how I met the good Pastor," Caleb said and tightened his arms around the boy slightly as a tremor ran through his little body.

"It was about this time of year and I'd been over to a friends place to help him and his Dad to put up their Christmas lights. It was only fair. He'd helped us with ours. When I came home it was all quiet and colder inside than it was outside. I thought I heard my mom screaming and I ran upstairs. The bedroom door was open and I rushed in. My Mom was laying in a heap against the wall. Her eyes open in this blank stare. My Dad was leaning up against their bookshelf. He was still alive with blood seeping out of his mouth."

Caleb was silent for a few minutes. "There was your Dad and Jim battling this thing. I don't remember what it looked like. I was just trying to keep my Dad awake but he just looked at me for a moment then closed his eyes," Caleb stopped again and tried to compose himself and force away the bad memories.

"Your Dad and Jim killed the thing then took me in. They looked after me and your Dad talked to me. Explained what had happened and what would happen to me. I've learned so much from him and one of those things is that its really hard to hurt him. Your Dad is one of the toughest men that I've ever had the privilege to meet and learn from. He's just about invincible kiddo. He'll be back you'll see," Caleb said softly. "You'll see."

The older boy wondered if he was trying to console the little boy or himself.

0000000000000

They were about two hours away from Jim's and John was intently watching the roads. It was difficult but he was deliberately keeping his speed down. The roads had black ice in places and were just slick in others. He'd given up earlier on helping people out. There were just too many and the need to get home to his son was overwhelming.

The road looked clear ahead and John glanced over at his sleeping son. Suddenly they hit a patch of ice and John used every defensive manoeuvre he could come up with in those few precious seconds. But they spun off the road.

John's head hit the steering wheel and he heard Dean cry out in pain. He lifted his head up from the wheel and looked over at his son. Dean's eyes were scrunched closed and he was cradling his arm to his chest.

"Dean?" he said gruffly. "You alright son?"

John reached up to touch his forehead and his hand came away sticky with blood. "Dean talk to me."

"I'm ok," came the shaky response.

"Are you sure?" John asked.

Dean opened his eyes and looked over at his father. "Yes sir. Are you ok?" Dean asked as he looked at his father's head wound.

"I'll be fine," he said. He grimaced as he looked away and out the front widow. They were facing the right direction and they were still up right.

"Sit tight Dean. I'm going to check the truck. Don't move," he said sternly.

Dean looked like he wanted to argue but he didn't. "Yes sir."

John got out of the truck and took a good look. The truck wasn't damaged and nothing had come out of the back. He got back into the vehicle and started it up.

He sat there with his hands on the wheel letting the truck run for a moment.

"Um Dad?" Dean said softly. "Could I at least put a bandage over that before we get back on the road?"

John sighed and closed his eyes. They needed to get home but he didn't want to bleed all over his friend's truck. Jesse would have a field day with that.

John turned off the truck. "That's a good idea Dean. I know Jesse keeps a small kit in the glove compartment. You should be able to find some gauze and bandages in there."

Dean reached forward and opened the glove compartment finding the small first aid kit his father was talking about. It was difficult with his sore arm and neck but he was able to patch up his father's wounds.

"Thanks Dean," John said as Dean put the remnants of the supplies away and put the kit back into the glove compartment. He could see Dean shiver and he shook his head. What had he been thinking? His son had been complaining about the cold since he arrived at Don's and they'd been sitting here in the cold truck when he could have had the heater running.

John started the engine and got back onto the road. After a moment he turned on the heater and out of the corner of his eye he saw Dean relax slightly as the heat hit him full blast out of the vent.

0000000000000

Jim returned to his office after the service was over and everything was cleaned up. They were the last ones in the church. He saw Sammy asleep in Caleb's arm and Caleb, the boy he considered as his own boy, asleep as well. Smiling at the two he quietly tidied up his office and got ready to go before waking Caleb so they could go home.

Caleb had not given up his hold on the small boy and carried him up to bed when they returned to the house. The nineteen year old sat beside the boy in the bed. Jim came into the room a moment later.

Caleb didn't look up. "Was there a message on the machine?"

"No. I'm afraid not," Jim said softly and watched as Angel ran into the room and bounded up onto the bed. The dog settled by Sammy's legs half way down the bed.

"Are you still expecting a miracle Jim?" Caleb asked then got up and quickly brushed past him.

Jim waited and heard Caleb's bedroom door close softly. He sighed. He didn't have an answer for him. He was beginning to expect the worst as well. Jim turned and quietly made his way down the hallway to his room.


	21. Day 21 December 25th

**Disclaimer: **Ok by now you know the drill. I own nothing… I just wish I had a Dean or Sammy under the tree for me this year. Alas… No luck.

**Author's notes: **Woohoo! Another day posted on time! LOL. Big thanks out to my beta for her patience of so far reviewing these 21 chapters. There will be more. This is going to go for a bit longer than I originally expected so stay tuned.

Well here is some more angst. I swear I just couldn't help myself. There is some medical mumbo jumbo below which I founf from the wikipedia site. I did my best with it, but still as much as I learned about broken bones on the site I'm not sure I got it write. So if you are looking for any kind of proper medical reference you're probably not gonna find it here. Although I did try.

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope everyone got what they wanted from Santa this year.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 21 December 25**

The road home was still very treacherous but they made it back to Jim's in one piece. They had passed many accidents on the way there. Many would not make it to their destination for Christmas. They would be waking in hospital after sliding off the icy roads.

It was four in the morning when the Winchester's finally pulled into Jim's driveway. John looked over at his sleeping son and gently shook him awake. "Merry Christmas Dean," he whispered and watched the pale faced boy smile back at him.

"Merry Christmas Dad," he said softly.

If John had looked closer he would've realized that the smile was more of a painful grimace and that he was shaking from the cold. They slowly got out of the truck and went into Jim's kitchen. They took off their winter wear and headed for the living room. Both planned to stretch out on the couch or recliner.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered as they walked into the room.

Sammy stood there in front of the tree staring forlornly at the sparkling evergreen. Angel who was sitting at his feet turned at the voice. She barked and headed over to the new arrivals with her tail wagging furiously in greeting.

"Hey girl," Dean said softly as he reached down and petted her not taking his eyes off his little brother.

Sammy turned and looked at them. His eyes widened as big as saucers. "Daddy? Dean?" he asked softly.

"Yeah kiddo. It's us," John said and walked forward. He scooped up his youngest boy into his arms and held him tight. "Did you miss us?"

Sammy snuggled into him and nodded against his chest.

Dean watched the interaction and smiled. They were home. Sammy was here and he looked fine. He turned his gaze slightly away from reunited father and son to the footsteps thumping down the stairs.

"Thank God. John. Dean. You're back," Jim said as he joined them in the living room.

Dean swayed on his feet slightly with his hand still on Angel's back. The little dog whined softly.

"Hell of a trip Jim," John said. "Glad it's over."

"I'll bet," Jim said.

Behind them Dean began to see two of everything and he shook his head to clear it. It was too cold and the tree was too bright in the darkness. He slipped down to his knees without making a sound. The room had begun to tilt funny and he tried to push off Angel who was pressing her cold nose into his face.

Angel licked Dean's face.

"Hey everyone," Caleb murmured as he came down the stairs. "Glad to see you back old man," he said as he clapped John on the shoulder.

"Old man?" John repeated.

"Well you are much older than me," Caleb pointed out.

Angel whined louder as Dean pitched forward and passed out. She growled, whined and barked loudly. She dug at the carpet then leaned in to sniff at his ear and licked him but the boy would not wake.

"Where's Dean?" Caleb asked as he turned and looked around the room.

"Right behind me," John said and turned. All three men saw him face first on the floor with Angel pawing at him.

"Dean?" Sammy whispered.

Jim and Caleb were beside him on the floor in an instant.

"Dean?" Jim said his name softly as he gently rolled the boy over.

Caleb jumped up and rushed upstairs.

"He was fine a minute ago," John said as he knelt next to Jim. Sammy stood behind them by the couch watching everything with wide eyes.

Dean's head rolled to the side and no amount of light tapping or shaking would wake him.

Caleb rushed back down the stairs now fully dressed with car keys in hand. "Give him to me," he demanded and before the two men could say anything he had the nine year old in his arms and he was racing towards the door.

"We'll meet you there Caleb," Jim called out.

John looked at the cleric in shock.

"John? John listen to me," he said as he grabbed John by the arm to keep him standing.

"He was fine," he whispered and swayed slightly as exhaustion and his own injuries almost made him pass out.

"Sammy and I will get dressed. Then we'll go to the hospital together. He's in good hands with Caleb," Jim said as he steered him over to the sofa. "Sit down."

John stood there and ran a hand through his hair. "He was fine," he repeated again.

"And he will be. Just sit down and wait for a moment, ok?" Jim said sternly.

It took a moment but John nodded and sank down on the couch.

0000000000000

Caleb screeched his car to a stop outside emergency. He rushed around to the passenger side and yanked it open. He gathered Dean into his arms and ran full out into the emergency room. "I need some help here!" He shouted.

A doctor came out of a hallway and rushed over to him. "What have you got?"

"Nine year old boy. He was out on a camping trip with his father. They just got home and he collapsed," Caleb reported and gently set Dean down onto a stretcher that an orderly brought over.

"Is he allergic to anything?" the doctor asked.

"Uh no I don't think so," Caleb said.

They began to wheel Dean away and Caleb tried to follow. A nurse stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir," she said briskly. "You'll have to wait over there. The doctor will be out to let you know what's happening after he's done the exam."

Caleb stood there watching as the gurney disappeared down the hallway. He turned and headed back outside and parked his car. Then he ran back into the emergency room. He made eye contact with the nurse who had stopped him from following the young boy into an exam cubicle. She shook his head at him and he headed for the uncomfortable looking plastic chairs in the waiting room. He sat down and rested his head in his hands as he leaned forward. How was it that every year near Christmas he ended up in the emergency room?

Jim and John rushed into emergency a short time later. John held Sammy tightly in his arms refusing to let him go. Jim went directly to Caleb while John went to inquire at the nurses station about his son.

Jim sat down and silently put his hand on the young man's back. He was trembling slightly and didn't look up.

"I hate this time of year," Caleb muttered softly not looking up.

"I know you do. It'll be ok," Jim said back kindly. "Dean will be fine."

"We don't even know anything," Caleb said.

John set himself heavily into the chair on the other side of Caleb.

"John?" Jim asked.

Caleb looked up slightly as he felt a small hand on his back next to Jim's.

"Daddy said Dean will be ok," Sammy said softly with his head pillowed on his father's chest and his other hand clamped tightly on his father's jacket.

"Yeah?" Caleb said.

Sammy nodded emphatically.

"Dean's not responsive. But his vitals are ok," John said softly. "They're examining him to see where the problem is."

They all settled in to wait. Sammy eventually falling asleep to the steady beat of his father's heart and the safe feeling of being wrapped up in his arms. Jim left only long enough to get coffee for the adults. An hour later a young man in a white doctor's coat approached the waiting room. Several people looked at the man hopefully.

"Family of Dean Winchester?" a doctor said.

The men stood up and the doctor sighed. "Which one of you is his father?" he asked.

"I am," John said.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Vaughn. Sir will you please come with me?" the doctor said.

John looked down at his little boy asleep in his arms. He didn't want to give up his hold on his son but he looked over at the other men who where waiting with him. Caleb reached out and took the little boy out of John's arms. Sammy stirred and looked up at Caleb in confusion. He looked around and saw his father walking away.

"Daddy!" he shouted after him.

John turned quickly and almost staggered at the sudden wave of vertigo. "Just a sec," he said to the doctor.

"Daddy don't leave me," Sammy said softly.

"I'll be right back. The doctor will give me an update on your brother and I'll be back, ok Tiger?" John said softly. "It'll just be a moment."

Sammy shook his head and looked like he was on the verge of tears. "No Daddy. I want to come too," he said as he struggled to get away from Caleb.

"Stay with Caleb," John said harshly.

Sammy stopped moving and his shoulders drooped slightly. He knew an order when he heard one. "Yes sir," he whispered.

"Come on little man. It won't be long," Caleb said softly to him as they watched John and the doctor walk down the hallway.

John was surprised when he was taken to a consultation room and not to his son.

"Where's my boy?" he asked.

"Your son's been taken to x-ray and if my suspicions are confirmed then right up to surgery," the doctor said calmly.

"Surgery?" John repeated.

"Yes. We were a little unsure what was wrong with him and when we removed the tensor bandage around his wrist we believe we found the problem. What may have looked like a simple sprain is quite possibly a broken bone," the doctor said.

"But he was checked by two other doctors. they said Dean was going to be fine," John said.

The doctor nodded. "Oh your son will be fine. Not to worry. There are several bones around the wrist and hand. It's very easy to break these during times of duress. You son woke up long enough to tell me he'd been for a hike in the mountains a couple of days ago and had taken a bad fall. Although he couldn't tell us how he fell we suspect he had his hand out to protect himself. He put extreme duress on his wrist and as he fell he fractured his wrist. It's what's commonly referred to as a distal radius fracture. We also discovered a secondary injury to his shoulder. There are some deep lacerations and it was out of place. We tried to get it back into place, but had difficulty and couldn't quite get it back into place. This is not abnormal. With this kind of wrist fracture there are often secondary injuries to the elbow or shoulder."

John ran a hand over his face. "He - he never told me he was in any pain," he said at a loss.

Dr. Vaughn nodded. "Yes that's not uncommon. Patients with this injury sometimes report numbness in the area and some pain. Your son told us that it hurt but that he was managing ok."

"How does something like this get missed?" John asked.

"Well without being there when the original exam was done it's difficult to say. Dean said he couldn't get to a hospital which means the injury was not x-rayed. Mr. Winchester you need to understand that these bones are small in an adult's wrist. They are that much smaller when dealing with a child's wrist. I can only guess that when the doctor did his exam all he felt was the swollen tendons and everything in place," he said.

John nodded and sighed heavily. "What happens now?"

"I'm just the attending emergency doctor. I've done all I can. I did call and consult with Dr. Webber. He is our resident orthopaedic specialist and he's on his way in. By the time the x-ray's are ready to be reviewed he will be here. Mr. Winchester the hospital requires you to fill out some forms. We need Dean's medical history, we need to know if he's allergic to anything or if he has been on any medications lately. Also we need your permission to perform the surgery on him," Dr. Vaughn said and then paused. "I know this is a lot to take in. But your son is in the best possible hands."

"He's only nine years old," John said softly. "I should be with him."

"Dean will be ok. The surgery is a fairly routine one and it won't take long. We just need to reset the bones. We would like to keep him for twenty four hours to watch him for any signs of infection. Then if all goes well we'll cast his wrist and send him home."

"Can I see him?" John asked.

"No sir I'm sorry. He's already been moved to x-ray. Then I'm positive that he will be moved to the surgical ward. All we're waiting on is your permission so we can begin," the doctor said.

John sighed and closed his eyes. He had thought the worst was over. How could this be happening now? He opened his eyes and took the papers from the doctor. He filled them out, signed them and handed them back.

"You and your family can come up to the surgical ward's waiting room on level five. Dr. Webber will come out an talk to you as soon as the procedure is over. It won't be long sir," the doctor said then left the room.

John took a moment and ran his hand over his face to compose himself. Then he returned back to the group.

"Well?" Jim said as he saw John coming down the hallway.

Sammy squirmed out of Caleb's grasp and ran over to his father. John scooped him up and held him close before sitting down in one of the uncomfortable chairs.

"Daddy where's Dean? Can I go see him now?" Sammy asked.

"No Sammy," John said feeling exhausted.

Caleb and Jim had been waiting on pins and needles waiting to hear about Dean. The teen couldn't stand waiting any longer. "John what the hell happened?" Caleb demanded.

"Damnit I don't know!" John yelled then held Sammy closer as the young boy whimpered. "It's ok Sammy. It's ok."

John closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He felt Sammy wrap his small thin arms around his neck and hold on tightly to him.

"John where is Dean?" Jim asked softly.

"Surgery," John said softly as he opened his eyes. "Dean has a broken wrist. They have to go in and set the wrist before it can be put into a cast."

"Sir?" A nurse said as she approached the group.

John sat up slightly. "What?' he asked.

"If you would like to come with me I'll take you up to the surgical floor. There you can wait for word on your son," she said.

"Yes. Thank you. We'll come with you," Jim said and looked at his friend. "Let's go John."

It took a moment but John got up. Jim put a hand on the man's back and walked forward. A few minutes later they were in a smaller but cozy waiting room. There were plastic couches that were just slightly more comfortable than the emergency room. John sat down heavily and noticed a table of toys.

"Sammy do you want to play?" John asked.

Sammy shook his head against his father's shoulder and yawned. "When will Dean come back?"

"We don't know," John said. "The doctors are working on him and when they're done they'll come and see us."

"Then can we see Dean?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah Sammy. Then we can see him," John said. He leaned back against the back of the couch. It was uncomfortable but definitely a step up from being chained up in a cave.

He felt Sammy's arms tighten around him and he opened his eyes as he looked down at his youngest son. His head was pillowed on his father's shoulder but he was staring at the open doorway.

"Sammy why don't you try and get some sleep little man?" John said softly.

"Want Dean," Sammy whispered.

John rubbed his back slowly up and down. "Dean's going to be fine."

"Promise?" Sammy asked looking up into his father's eyes.

"Yeah I promise," John said. "Now close your eyes."

Sammy snuggled into his father's chest and watched the door way for a minute longer before he closed his eyes. A few minutes later he was breathing deep and regular. John closed his eyes and let himself sleep.

Caleb glanced over at Jim who was sitting in a chair near him. "Hey."

The pastor opened his eyes and looked over at his son.

"You know it wouldn't be tradition if I didn't end up in a hospital somewhere over Christmas," he said softly. "Merry Christmas Dad."

Jim smiled at him. "Merry Christmas son."

Caleb leaned back and closed his eyes. He never had liked hospitals and never wanted to be in them especially around Christmas. He opened his eyes once more and took a glance over the motley group. He smiled slightly as he closed his eyes and started to relax. At least he was with his family and most of their ragged family was safe. While Dean was in surgery at least the injuries weren't life threatening. That he could live with.

With that thought firmly in place he drifted into sleep.


	22. Day 21 December 25th part 2

**Disclaimer:** The wonderful world of the Winchesters and their merry friends are still owned by others. sigh Oh and no money was made so please don't sue. The only thing I have is a boat load of debt.

**Author's notes: **Seems like I need to explain this a little. First let me say sorry for the late post. I was having some issues with this chapter. I know everyday was supposed to be a post, but with Day 21 it ended very early in the morning with Dean in surgery and suddenly here we are at Day 22. Didn't work very well for me so to fix here is Day 21 and a half. Clear as mud right? LOL.

Thanks to lynxlan for the beta. The following days are going to be delayed by a couple of days. I am not happy with the way they turned out and I won't post them until I'm happy with them. I will get them as soon as I can.

On with the story.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 21 ½ - Still December 25**

"Mr. Winchester?" a voice asked.

John blinked few times trying to clear the fogginess of sleep. "Yeah," he said groggily.

"Hi," the man said extending his hand. "Dr. Webber. I operated on your son."

John stood up and shifted Sammy onto his hip. "How is he?" John asked as he shook the man's hand.

"He will be just fine. When your boy fell he fractured his wrist in two places. Which wouldn't have been too bad. But somehow between the original break and now it was aggravated and the bones actually shifted out of place. We had to set them back into their proper positions using three very small screws," Dr. Webber said.

"Screws?" John repeated.

"Not to worry. They won't set off any sensors of any kind and he won't even know they're there. The wrist will heal quite nicely. Other than that we had to reset his shoulder as it was slightly out of place. So he will need to keep the shoulder immobile for a while. It's on the same side as the fractured wrist so we've fitted him with a sling. Lastly he is dehydrated so we have him on a saline drip," the doctor said and then paused at the look on the father's face.

"Your son has been through a bit of an ordeal. By your cast and bruising I would say you've been through an ordeal as well. Look your son will be fine. He just needs a little time to recover," the doctor said.

"Is my brother ok?" Sammy asked.

"Well you two won't be putting snow men together or playing tackle football in the spring but aside from that he's fine," Dr. Webber said smiling at Sammy.

"I want to see him," Sammy said firmly.

"Well I think we can do that. Your brother is out of recovery and in a private room," Dr. Webber said to Sammy then switched his attention to John. "Your son lucked out. It was the only room we had open in the ward. If you will follow me I'll take you to him."

They followed the doctor out of the waiting room. Two floors up and several turns later they came to the children's ward and into Dean's room.

They entered the room and gathered at the end of the bed all focused on Dean. He was very pale making the bags under his eyes look like bruises and the actual wounds striking in various shades of blues, purples and reds. One arm was nestled into a sling and the other was attached to two different I.V. solutions. There was a clip attached to his finger and the only sound in the room was the beeping of the monitor.

The doctor looked at the others in the room with their shocked expressions. He wasn't surprised by the youngest member of the group's reaction. The little boy was about as pale as his brother with lower lip quivering slightly.

"Will he wake up Daddy?" Sammy whispered.

John held him closer and rubbed his hand up and down his back. "It'll be ok Sammy. Dean's tough," he almost whispered.

"Now I know this looks scary but he's going to be ok. Those tubes are feeding him a salt and water solution to help him feel better. That line there monitors his pulse which helps us to make sure that he's doing ok," the doctor said to Sammy.

"But what is that?" Sammy said pointing to his face. Dean had a clear tube feeding him oxygen through his nose.

"Well that's just helping him get enough oxygen," the doctor said.

Sammy yawned and put his head onto his father's shoulder while he stared at his brother.

"Dean came through the procedure without complications. He should wake soon, but we don't want to overwhelm him. So it would be best if we kept the visitors to no more than two people," the doctor said. "You can stay for a while just not all day. All right?"

The men nodded.

"Ok. Well if you have questions you can ask the duty nurse. I'll be by later today to check on him. Gentlemen," the doctor said then turned and left the room.

John stood there looking down at his son. God how had things gotten so out of hand?

Sammy frowned as he looked at his brother. "Daddy is Dean possessed?" Sammy asked.

"What?" John asked shaking his head slightly at the unexpected question.

Caleb laughed quietly and everyone else just stared at him. "No Sammy you're brother isn't possessed. Salt helps the body keep water in our system. Dean has a lack of water in his system which makes him feel bad. The saline or salt water solution helps him feel better. But hey it's a good way to ward off evil spirits."

"So we won't have to salt the window and doors?" Sammy asked seriously.

"No we won't have to do that," John said.

Jim shook his head and grinned slightly. "Out of the mouths of babes," he muttered to himself.

0000000000000

Dean came to awareness slowly. He could hear a steady beeping and he wished whatever was making the noise would stop. He wanted to go back to sleep where he didn't have to worry about anything and he didn't feel cold. As he lay there caught between sleep and waking he realized he could hear voices.

"Daddy isn't he going to wake up soon? I want to show him what I got him for Christmas," Sammy said.

"He'll wake when he's ready Sammy. Why don't you colour another picture?" John said patiently.

"But what if he doesn't?" Sammy asked.

_I'm awake Sammy_ Dean tried to say but nothing came out.

"Dean will wake when he's ready. He's been through a lot in the last little bit. He needs the rest. Look Sammy Dean walked for days through the cold and snow to get Jesse and me the help we needed. It's made him sick. Now we need to be quiet so he can rest and get better, ok?" John tried to reason.

"But I want to play with him. I missed talking to him and playing with him," Sammy said.

"Sammy be quiet and colour," John finally ordered.

Sammy sighed dramatically. "Ok Daddy."

Dean wanted to tell Sammy that it was ok. He could keep talking that it wasn't bothering him. In fact it was kinda nice to hear his voice after being away for so long.

"Sammy I'm going to go and grab some caffeine. Stay in this room and do not talk to anyone. Understand me boy?" John asked.

"Yes sir," Sammy said.

"That's my boy," John said.

"Daddy!" Sammy protested and Dean could just imaging his father ruffling Sammy's long hair.

Sammy watched the open door way for a moment after his father left the room. Then he put down his crayon and got down from his chair. He moved the plastic chair next to his brother's bed and got up onto it. He studied his sleeping brother for a moment not liking how long he'd been sleeping or how still he had been for so long.

He understood that Dean had gotten sick from the anaesthesia that they had used. It wasn't leaving his system as fast as it should. It wouldn't hurt his big brother it would just take him a lot longer to wake up.

Dean listened to the silent room. Something was wrong. It was too quiet. Sammy was always making some kind of noise. He'd known his little brother had been colouring by the noises of wax crayon being dropped onto what he figured was the table. But now there was nothing.

The beeping sped up slightly as Dean worried about his little brother.

"Dean?" Sammy whispered. "Can you hear me?"

Dean tried to respond but nothing seemed to be working.

Slowly Sammy reached out and moved one hand under his brother's. Then ever so carefully he put his other one overtop of his fingers avoiding the clear tubing that was attached to the back of his hand.

Dean felt a wave of relief wash over him when Sammy's warm hands surround his cold one. At least he was near him and not getting into any mischief.

"I'm glad you're back Dean. I really really really missed you," Sammy said softly. "Daddy's right. You take the time you need to sleep. But could you hurry up? I want to play with you. And I wanna ..."

Sammy didn't finish his sentence as Dean heard squeaky foot steps entered the room.

"Hey sweetie. Where's your Daddy?" a woman's voice asked.

Dean felt Sammy's grip tighten around his hand slightly.

"You keeping your big brother company while your father gets another cup of coffee?" the woman's voice asked again. "Careful of the IV line."

Sammy sighed and Dean wished he could see who was in the room with them.

The blankets that were covering were pulled away slightly and he felt pain around his wrist and shoulder. He couldn't help the quiet moan that escaped him at the sensation.

"Dean?" Sammy whispered. "Are you waking up?"

"Tell your Daddy that his swelling's going down ok little one?" the woman said and Dean heard her squeaky foot falls fade away.

"That was your nurse. Daddy doesn't like her very much. Keeps telling him to leave and this morning she kicked out Pastor Jim and Caleb. I though Daddy's head was gonna explode he got so angry. But Pastor Jim calmed Daddy down and took Caleb home. Said he'd be back this afternoon," Sammy said and was quiet for a moment. "Daddy says you're gonna wake up soon but I know the doctor said you would wake before now. How come you didn't wake up?"

Dean wanted to pull his brother up beside him, or talk to him, reassure him that things were going to be ok. But as hard as he tried he couldn't talk and he couldn't move. He was glad that Sammy didn't move away from him and he tried to squeeze his hand. By the time his father returned he felt more exhausted than ever.

"Daddy!" Sammy exclaimed.

"What is it tiger?" John asked.

"Dean's been squeezing my hand," Sammy said. "And he mumbled some stuff too but I couldn't make it out."

"Yeah? Lets see," John said.

Dean felt Sammy pull his hands away and a larger calloused hand encompassed his.

"Dean can you hear me buddy? Squeeze my hand if you can," John said.

Dean was beyond exhausted but gave it one last go.

"Hey. Good job," John said. "Can you open your eyes?"

They waited and Dean could feel both of them staring down at him. He tried to open his eyes but they wouldn't cooperate.

"That's ok. We'll be here when you're ready to wake up. You can rest now. I've got Sammy," John said.

Dean hadn't realized that he'd been keeping tabs on his younger brother but the words released him from duty and he let himself fall back asleep.

0000000000000

Dean opened his eyes. It was dark in the room except for the soft light that was on just above his bed. He was lying on his back and could see a transparent tube run from the back of his hand up to a clear bag of fluid. Moving his head slightly he looked around the room and saw it was empty.

"Mr. Winchester you cannot be here twenty four seven. Your son is in good hands. Go home and be with your younger son for a while. We'll call you when he wakes up," a nurse said to him as they walked into the room.

"My son was supposed to wake up this morning. He still hasn't woken up and I sure as hell am not leaving until he opens his eyes," John said and sat down in the chair he had only vacated for coffee or bathroom breaks.

"Dad?" Dean said softly.

"Hey kiddo. You're awake," John said and looked pointedly at the nurse.

The nurse left in a huff.

"Dad?" Dean said again not sure he was really there.

"How are you feeling?" John asked as he stood up and put his coffee on the small table by the bed.

"I'm fine sir. Can we go back to Pastor Jim's now?" Dean asked.

John leaned over the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "Not yet."

Dean just looked up at his father. He looked completely worn out like he hadn't slept, eaten or shaved in days.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?" John asked.

Dean looked down at his blankets.

John covered his oldest son's hand with his own being very careful not to touch the I.V. "Dean were you in pain when we were clearing the snow from the avalanche?"

"Dad why is it so cold?" Dean asked.

"It's not cold in here tiger. Now answer my question," John said.

Dean tried to hold back a shiver and looked back up at his father. "Well whining about it wasn't going to change anything. The faster the snow was cleared the sooner we could get back to Sammy."

John sighed. "Dean when you worked on that avalanche you aggravated your injuries. Your fractured wrist had to be operated on and your shoulder had to be reset surgically. You had all of us worried sick."

Dean blinked a few times as the words sunk in. "I'm sorry Dad. I just thought that I had to tough it out. Hunters don't cry or complain about their injuries. It's part of the job."

"Yes Dean, but sometimes you need help to deal with it. You're too young, too inexperienced to know the difference. As you get older you will recognize the difference. But from now on you will tell me when you are in pain," John ordered.

"Yes sir," Dean said quickly.

The room was quiet for some time. "Um Dad?" Dean ventured.

"Yeah son," John said.

"Where's Sammy?" Dean asked. "I thought I heard him earlier."

"Your brother is back at Pastor Jim's hopefully sleeping," John said. "You wouldn't believe what it took to get him to leave."

"I can imagine," Dean said softly.

John started to get up but Dean reached out and grabbed his shirt.

"Hey it's ok. I'm not going anywhere," John said as he covered Dean's hand with his.

Dean tightened his grip slightly. He was not going to complain about being cold and in pain. His Dad had just told him it wasn't cold in here but he felt like he was freezing. He did have to follow orders though.

"My wrist kinda hurts," Dean admitted softly looking away but not letting go.

"Ok. I'll go get the nurse and see if she can help you," John said. Gently he pulled Dean's hand away from his shirt. "I'll be right back. Hang tight kiddo."

Dean watched him leave the room and shivered slightly.

John returned shortly with the nurse. She checked his vitals and gave him a shot of something through his IV. "There now that should take care of the pain. Need anything else sweetie?"

Dean closed his eyes. "Cold," he said softly as he slipped into sleep.


	23. Day 22 December 26th

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill by now. I don't own anything recognizable in the following chapter.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you all for your patience while I got this chapter all sorted out. It's really long in comparison to the last chapters but I did't want to split it up so I hope it's not too long.

It will be another couple of days before I get the next chapter up. But the wait shouldn't be too long. If I haven't gotten back to you, and for the reviewers who post without a login. thank you so much for your kind words. I am overwhelmed with the wonderful feedback I've gotten in this story. I've devoured every word and really do appreciate the time the reviewer takes to make the review. thank you all and to everyone have a great and safe new years!

Thanks as always to lynxlan for her wonderful beta skills. I've made some major changes since I got it back, so sorry if there are still errors in here. I did try to catch them all.

Now on with the story.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 22 December 26**

Dean was suddenly awake and stared at the white ceiling above him. He felt good as there was no pain and he was blissfully warm. He felt light as if he were floating adrift somewhere on some cosmic wind. He giggled softly. Cosmic wind. That was funny. He giggled again.

He wondered what had woken him from his peaceful slumber. Glancing around he didn't see his little brother anywhere. Then again he couldn't see under the bed. He wondered if Sammy was hiding under there. He always found good places to hide but Dean always found him.

A loud noise caught his attention and he looked over to where it came from. There next to his bed sat his father in a very uncomfortable looking position. Dean smiled. Nobody snored as loud or roughly as his father. He was sure of it. John Winchester did nothing half assed and that included snoring. He giggled again. Half assed. That was funny.

He was on a half assed cosmic journey with his father snoring by his side. Dean laughed loudly then froze as pain lanced through his shoulder. He panted with the pain. Nope this was no longer funny. Then the nice painkillers kicked in again and he was back to floating on his cosmic cloud.

"Dean?" John said softly. "You awake boy?"

"Yeah," Dean mumbled. Suddenly he was cold again and he clutched the sheets tight around himself. There was an extra blanket on him that hadn't been there before but he was still cold. That couldn't be right because he remembered quite clearly that his Dad had told him that the room wasn't cold at all. His Dad had done a lot of things but he'd never lied to him so he couldn't be cold. Then as if to prove him wrong a shiver ran through his body.

"You ok?" John asked the sleep slowly leaving his voice.

Sighing he silently scolded himself. Dad said the room wasn't cold so it wasn't cold. End of story. And he shouldn't have woken him. His Dad looked haggard and exhausted.

"Dean?" John said when his son didn't answer him.

He tried to turn onto his side but the sharp pain in his shoulder made him decide against any movements. He must have whimpered because suddenly his father was looming over him with a concerned expression on his face. A shiver ran through his body again.

"Dad?" Dean said thickly. "This sucks out loud. Wanna go home."

"I know. We will soon," John said softly as he perched on the side of Dean's bed and ran a hand through his hair. "We'll be back there soon."

"I promised Sammy I'd read him the story again," Dean said.

"And you will," John said.

"When?" Dean asked. His brother defined his purpose as did his father. Without his little brother tearing around for him to chase after he was off balance. Lying in a hospital bed made him feel weak and useless.

"Maybe tomorrow or the next day. Doc still has to examine your wrist and if he's satisfied that there's no infection then he'll cast your arm. After that we can leave," John said.

Dean shook his head slowly back and forth on the pillow. "Wanna go now. Miss Sammy," he complained then yawned.

"I know you do and Sammy misses you," John said as he watched Dean slowly blink several times. Yup the slurred words, the glassy eyes and the slow blinking definitely told him his boy was high. Seriously high. Slowly he ran his hand through Dean's short hair. He was unaccustomed to this. Usually it was Sammy one of them was comforting. Dean had been too old for this or so it seemed by the time he was Sammy's age. John sighed. This was definitely not how he imagined raising his sons. He swallowed hard and tried to push back the foreign emotions running through him.

"Daddy?" Dean asked wide eyed. "Are you crying?"

John just about lost it when his oldest called him Daddy. He'd stopped calling him Daddy the day of the fire. "Just a little kiddo."

"Why?" Dean asked.

John sighed. It was such a simple innocent question that he couldn't answer. His boys weren't supposed to see him cry.

"I'm just a little tired. Close your eyes Dean and get some sleep now," John said softly as he ran his hand through Dean's hair again.

"Did something happen to Sammy?" Dean asked. "Cause I haven't seen him. I think he may be hiding under the bed but I can't seem to get up. He shouldn't be down there. I haven't done any laundry."

"No. Your brother's just fine," John assured smiling slightly. Yup his pride and joy was definitely high. "Go to sleep Dean."

"But," Dean tried to protest behind heavy lidded eyes.

John smiled down at him. "Back to sleep tiger. That's an order. When you wake up maybe your brother will be here. He'll be glad to see you awake."

"Oh all right," Dean said and sighed as he closed his eyes. He floated off to dreamland on his cosmic cloud.

0000000000000

Dean opened his eyes when someone lifted up his arm. "Hey," he protested softly.

"Well good morning young man," Dr. Webber said. "Give me just a moment."

Dean gave the man a good once over. He seemed vaguely familiar but he couldn't place him. "Can I go home today?" he asked.

"Well I think we might be able to accommodate that," the doctor said. "However before you get sprung out of here we will need to put this wrist into a cast."

"Cast?" Dean repeated slightly crestfallen. How would he continue to train with a cast.

"Just think of how Caleb can decorate it," John quipped.

"Aw man," Dean complained.

"It won't be so bad," the doctor said. "Well I'll go get a wheel chair and the sooner your cast is on the sooner you can go home."

"I don't need a wheelchair," Dean huffed and looked over at his Dad.

"Dean don't argue," John admonished.

He just pursed his lips in response as the doctor left.

"Hey if it means you get to leave isn't it worth it?" John said.

"Yeah," Dean said then looked up at the I.V. line.

"They took out the saline line. The last one is your pain meds which you'll be able to take in pill form. By the way Sammy asked if you were possessed when the doctor tried to explain what the I.V. was for," John said.

Dean smiled. "Yup that's my baby brother. Smart as a tack."

"Yeah but you should've heard how Caleb explained the saline solution," John said wryly.

"Hmmm. Dad maybe having Sammy exposed to Caleb isn't such a good idea," Dean said.

"Hey Caleb's not so bad," John defended after all he had helped raise the young pup.

"Depends on your definition of not so bad," the boy said.

"True," John said and smiled.

0000000000000

Sammy hung up the phone. "WOOHOO!" he shouted as he tore into the kitchen.

Caleb smiled down at him. "So what did the old guy have to say?"

"Dean's getting a cast and then they're coming home!" Sammy shouted with a huge grin on his face. Then he ran out of the room.

Caleb couldn't help the grin that covered his face and he momentarily wondered if he should warn his father. A loud noise of what sounded like books crashing to the floor made him smile even bigger. "Huh. Well how about that. Sammy is his own warning device," he said as he stirred some sugar into his coffee.

"CALEB!"

Caleb took a moment and sipped his coffee. "No rest for the wicked," he said as he slowly meandered out of the kitchen and made his way towards Jim's study.

"Yo Sammy! Where are you brat," Caleb shouted as he came upon a rather large mess of things. There were a few books, newspapers, dishtowels and lots of Jim's notes.

"Caleb for heaven sakes! You were supposed to be watching him!" Jim scolded as he reached in and pulled Sammy to his feet.

"Dean's coming home! Dean's coming home!" the little boy yelled.

"Yes I heard when you shouted at Caleb in the kitchen. Use your inside voice young man and stop running around everywhere. Next time you'll take on something much harder than paper and we'll be taking you to the ER," Jim said as he seriously looked over Sammy for injury and let him go when he found none.

Sammy ran off away from them. "ANGEL!"

Caleb tried unsuccessfully to hide his grin.

"Clean this up. Then you can take Sammy and Angel for a walk. Now Caleb," Jim said as he frowned at his son.

"Oh come on. It's just a few papers and a few books," Caleb said as he looked at the mess. "Not even the old ones."

Jim sighed heavily and ran a hand down his weary face.

"What is it Dad?" Caleb asked softly moving closer to the man. "Did you hear back about Jesse?"

"No I haven't heard anything," Jim said.

"Well no news is good news, right?" Caleb offered as he put a hand on the cleric's shoulder.

"Yeah I guess," Jim said then his tone hardened. "Now Caleb. Five minutes and this should be just like it was before Sammy took out the table."

The teen nodded as he looked over the mess. Two minutes tops and he knew he'd be done but he couldn't quite help his next question. "And if it's longer than five?" he asked.

"Don't tempt me boy. Or have you forgotten the whupping you got when you insisted you were done with Tai Chi and wanted to do kickboxing?" Jim challenged.

"Right. Five minutes sir," Caleb said with all hints of his smile gone.

"Samuel Winchester get back here. Now young man!" Jim shouted as walked away in the direction that Sammy had taken off in moments ago.

Caleb made quick work of the mess and downed the rest of the hot coffee in one shot. He was just putting his mug into the sink when Jim guided a very sad looking Sammy into the kitchen.

"Take these two for a walk," Jim said as he looked down and realized the dog wasn't following him. "Get your jacket on Samuel."

Caleb watched his father leave the room.

Sammy looked at him with big eyes. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong," he said softly.

Caleb smiled at him. "Well of course you didn't. Don't sweat it kid he's just on overdrive from worry," he said softly to the boy.

Sammy rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around the older boy's middle.

"Hey it's ok. Jim's not mad at you Sammy," Caleb said as he pulled the boy away from him slightly. "Let's go for a walk and give him a little space. I'll bet by the time we get back your brother will be here all tucked into the couch. Now c'mon. Let's get our jackets and shoes on. By the time he wrangles up the mutt we'll be ready to go."

"She's not a mutt," Sammy said

"Yeah I know. She is a sheltie," Caleb said with mock disgust.

0000000000000

Dean and John walked into the kitchen. John removed his son's jacket and shoes.

"Come on Dean we'll get you settled on the couch," John said.

"Yes sir," Dean said softly and allowed himself to be guided out of the kitchen.

John waited for Dean to sit on the couch then pulled a throw off the back of the recliner and placed it over his oldest son.

"How are you feeling? And I want the truth," John said sternly but Dean could hear the concern in his voice.

"My shoulder hurts a little but it's ok. I'm more tired than anything," Dean admitted.

John nodded. "That's probably the last of the pain meds they gave you before we left the hospital. Lean back and just relax. Will you be ok for a bit on your own? I need to talk to Jim for a minute."

Dean nodded. "I'm fine Dad."

"Ok buddy. Just yell if you need anything," John said and then was gone in search of the cleric.

Dean sighed heavily. He wasn't just tired he was exhausted. His shoulder and arm felt like they were on fire and he couldn't feel his wrist at all. Sleep was one of the two things he needed right now, the other was no where in sight and I was too quiet for Sammy to be nearby.

His eyes began to droop and he fought to keep them open. He considered pushing back the blanket and going to search for his little brother. But as he was pondering the notion his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

0000000000000

"But Daddy said he was going to be fine," Sammy said as he and Caleb walked down the road.

"Well yes he will be. Look Sammy you just have to be careful with him for the next little while. No tackling him or sneak attacks on him," Caleb said then put his hand on the child's shoulder to stop him.

Sammy pulled up on the leash slightly making Angel stop and come back to them settling beside Sammy's feet.

"Sammy Dean was hurt here," Caleb said as he touched Sammy's shoulder and then moved his hand to his little wrist. "And here. His shoulder was separated so badly they had to put it back together with surgery and his wrist has three tiny screws helping to hold the broken bones together so it will heal properly."

"So I can't play with Dean anymore?" Sammy asked looking completely devastated.

"No. No you can play with him you just have to play gently with him. No wrestling or mock fights or snowball fights," Caleb said as he crouched down next to the boy. "Oh and definitely no tickle torture."

"He can't even snowball fight?" Sammy said as his eyes opened in surprise.

"That's right," Caleb said and tried to put it in a way that Sammy would understand. "Ok Sammy pretend that you're holding a snowball."

"But I don't have one," Sammy said shaking his head.

"Um, Ok," Caleb said and hastily grabbed a bunch of snow from the ground and made a snowball. He put it into Sammy's hand.

"Oh thank you that's a great snowball. Now who am I throwing it at?" Sammy asked excitedly.

"No you're not throwing it at anyone," Caleb said then pursed his lips together finding patience. "I want you to pretend that you are going to throw this snowball. Now what do you do first?"

"Are you kidding? Dean says it's all in the wind up," Sammy said and reached back with the snowball and then threw it with all his might.

Caleb watched it fly across the street barely avoiding a car that was driving past and hit the roadway almost at the sidewalk. "Nice arm Sammy. Anyway when you wound up like that? That would hurt Dean like there's no tomorrow."

Realization slowly dawned across the little boy's face. "Throwing a snowball would hurt him?"

"Yeah it would Sammy," Caleb said. "So would any kind of pressure put on the arm. Do you understand?"

Sammy nodded. "Yeah. Dean's broken."

"NO!"

Sammy jumped at his response.

"Your brother is not broken. Far from it Sammy. He's just injured. Hasn't John come home from a hunt injured?" Caleb asked.

"Sure. But he just gets patched up by Dean. Bandages and stuff. Dean doesn't fix broken bones," Sammy said.

Caleb shook his head at what John put his children through. "Ok well no Dean doesn't set broken bones they need to be set by a doctor. But this is kinda being the same as bandaged up just a little more intense."

Sammy sighed and looked down at the leash in his hand. "So I havta stay away from my big brother?" Sammy said sadly.

"No Sammy it's just the opposite. Look Dean always takes good care of you, right?" Caleb asked.

Sammy lifted his head up and scowled slightly. "Of course he does."

The teen smiled slightly. "Well now is your chance to return the favour. Now you get to look after Dean."

Sammy's scowl deepened. "But I don't know how to read. And I couldn't lift him out of the bathtub if there were two of me."

"That's not what I meant. Just be around. Talk to him. Play a card came or two with him. Drive him crazy with questions. Be the best little brother you can be, annoying or sweet, I don't care. Just be with him. He needs you right now."

Sammy tilted his head to the side slightly as he gave Caleb a measuring look. "Ok Caleb. Do you think he'll be home now? Can we go back?"

Caleb smiled. Relieved that his meandering explanation made sense to the little tyke. "Yeah we can go back."

0000000000000

Dean woke to the sound of soft voices speaking around him. He opened his eyes and saw Pastor Jim and his father in the room talking to each other.

"John I don't think it's a good idea. It just seems a bit too soon. But I don't mind at all," Jim said.

"Well it shouldn't be too hard. One night. Maybe two," John said and glanced over at his son.

Dean blinked a few times trying to shake off his sleepiness.

"Well look who's awake," Jim said.

Dean looked back and fourth between the two men hoping that he really hadn't heard what he thought he'd heard.

"Awake maybe. Lucid not so much," John said with a smile.

Dean let his gaze settle on his father. "Where's Sammy?"

The kitchen door closed and a moment later Angel ran into the room stopping at Jim's chair. She put her front paws up on his leg and wagged her tail furiously at him.

"Hey girl. You've never been walked so much, have you," Jim said as he gave her a quick pat. "Now down you go."

Angel settled down by his chair.

Sammy walked into the room followed closely by Caleb.

"Well there's the hero. How are you doing Dean?" Caleb asked.

"Fine," Dean said but his eyes were on his little brother. "Ok Sammy?"

Sammy nodded and leaned up against Caleb's legs.

Talk began over the two younger boys and Dean wondered why Sammy wasn't asking him a million questions about where he'd been, or about his cast, or if they could play now. He just stood there watching the other adults and adding an answer when he was asked a question. Every once in a while he'd look over at his brother. But this look was different than Dean had been on the receiving end before. It was like Sammy saw him as a lesser person, or like he was broken, or something. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He knew he didn't like it.

"Dean?" John said again for the third time. When he got no response he got up and knelt in front of his oldest child. "Hey are you in pain?"

Dean realized that he was. In fact he was in so much pain that his jaw was clamped shut against making any kind of weak noises.

John sighed as he glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Of course you're in pain. You're an hour overdue for your meds."

John stood up completely and disappeared into the kitchen. He reappeared a moment later with a glass of water, two white pills and two ice packs.

"Take these," he said as he held out the two pain killers and waited as Dean took them out of his hand.

Dean took the pain meds and then breathed a sigh of relief when the ice packs were put onto his shoulder and neck. He leaned back into the couch as John pulled the blankets up around him.

"You gotta talk to me boy. You need to tell me when you're in pain. Ok?" John said softly.

Dean nodded and closed his eyes allowing the quiet conversation lull him back into sleep.

"John is he sleeping a little much?" Jim asked.

"The doctor at the hospital said the meds would make him real drowsy. I figure if he's sleeping he's not in so much pain. Sleep helps the body to heal so I guess it's ok. Besides he needs the rest. When he was sleeping at the hospital he dreamed a lot. By the look on his face he wasn't resting easy," John said and sighed heavily.

Sammy stood up and went over to his father. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?" John asked.

Sammy sighed and looked back at Dean. "Can we make Dean's favourite dinner? It might make him feel better."

John smiled and then his smile faltered slightly. "Which favourite meal?"

Sammy scowled at him. "Meatloaf silly," he said.

"Well I have some ground beef in the refrigerator. Lets see what we can dish up," Jim said.

"No," Sammy said softly.

Jim raised his eye brows.

"Me and Daddy," Sammy said.

Jim nodded. "Sure. How about I help you find the ingredients?"

"Ok," Sammy said and stood up. He waited for John to stand up and when he didn't Sammy looked at him with his puppy dog eyes. "Don't you want to make Dean dinner?"

"Of course I do Sammy," John said and yawned feeling the last couple of weeks start to catch up with him. "How about I start with coffee?"

"Ok," Sammy said and then took his father's hand and led him into the kitchen.

0000000000000

Dean woke up and found himself completely alone. Glancing at the clock above the mantle he found that it was well after nine. Sammy should be in bed already and he knew it would be another night before he would read his baby brother his bed time story.

He shivered as he rememberd what had woken him. The trek down the mountain in the frigid wilderness had not been far from his mind ever since he'd woken at Don's house.

He began to tremble in earnest and sat up. His shoulder was throbbing and pain radiated from the tips of his fingers to the base of his neck and partially into his back.

He looked towards the kitchen wondering if his Dad had remembered to leave out his pain meds when he noticed something on the small table next to the couch. Two white pills were in a small bowl with a glass of water next to it.

He smiled slightly feeling oddly touched that someone had thought to leave out his pain meds for him. Wondering if it was Jim or his father he quickly downed the meds hoping that they would take effect soon. His shivering increased as he swallowed the cool water.

"This has to stop. It's over," he whispered to himself.

He pushed off the blankets and slowly stood up. He moved towards the wall and flicked a switch. The fireplace flickered to life and his eyes never left the dancing flames as he was drawn towards the warmth. He sat down on the cold hearth and jumped slightly as something cold and wet brushed his injured hand. Jumping up he closed his eyes at fresh pain and breathed deep to manage the new pain. Opening his eyes he looked down to see where the sensation came from and saw dark eyes stare back at him.

"Angel," he said softly as he let out a sigh of relief.

The dog growled softly as if in answer and wagged her tail. Then she growled again at him and nudged his leg as she tried to get closer to him.

"Well at least you don't seem to see me any differently. Petting machine at your service girl," he said softly and sat back down onto the hearth. This time he sat with his injured side towards the wall. As soon as he was settled Angel moved closer to him and sat down beside him laying her head on his thigh. Dean began to stroke her soft fur and felt himself relax slightly.

"Shouldn't you be with Sammy?" Dean asked as he looked down at the dog then scrunched his eyes closed as Angel brought her head up and licked his face. The boy couldn't help but smile before wiping the doggie slobber off his face.

He began stroking Angel's fur again as he let his eyes go back to the dancing flames. Although he didn't see the bright warmth. He was back at the mountain battling the elements and the snow monster.

He remembered the words his father said to him. His father had said he was proud of him, that he knew that he'd done everything he could. But he couldn't fathom his father really being that understanding or proud of him. If he'd done his job properly, done it quicker, Jesse would be here alive and well. Bruised and beaten but here all the same. Instead he was lying in a hospital somewhere probably fighting for his life and relying on machines to keep him alive.

A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his reverie. As he looked up he wasn't surprised to see Pastor Jim standing there.

"Don't wanna talk," Dean said softly then looked back into the flickering flames.

"That's fine," Jim said just as softly holding a mug out to the boy. "Just thought that you could do with some hot coco."

Dean looked back at the man and focused on the steaming mug then looked back into the fire. "No thank you," he said as he shook his head. He hadn't earned the warm treat and he didn't deserve the comforting warmth the liquid promised. Jim made coco just like his mom used to.

The cleric sighed softly as he sat across from the boy. He had hoped the boy would take the mug of hot chocolate but hadn't expected him to take it. He placed the mug on the hearth near the boy in case he changed his mind.

"Dean I know you've been through a lot on this hunt and you know that I'm a good listener. So if you want to talk I'll listen," Jim said.

Dean shook his head. "No I'm ok. I don't need to talk."

Jim smiled slightly. "Dean you've been through so much for such a young child."

Dean stilled completely and slowly turned his gaze to the pastor. "I am not a child," he said sharply.

"Whether you want to admit it or not for all of your grown up responsibilities that's exactly what you are. A child who has looked after his younger brother and his father without complaint and without fail for years. Who readily accepted his father's call to arms without hesitation. A young boy who can't tell which way is up at the moment and can't figure out why he can't get warm," Jim said calmly as he stared into the fire ignoring Dean's glare.

Dean shook his head. "Sammy is no trouble. He's very easy to look after. And I don't look after Dad he looks after us."

"Dean," Jim tried to say.

"Just leave me alone," Dean said.

"Listen son," Jim started again.

"I am not your son," Dean growled at the man. "Leave. Me. Alone."

Jim sighed. "Dean I'm always here for you. If you decide you want to talk about what happened just let me know," he said softly.

The cleric stood up to leave then looked down into the boys angry stare. "If you're interested your father and Sammy made meatloaf for dinner. There's a plate in the fridge for you when you're ready for it," he said then left the boy in front of the fire as he headed up the stairs.

Dean looked back into the fire. The mention of his favourite meal made him feel sick to his stomach. He took a shaky deep breath and turned to Angel. "What does he want me to say girl? That it was scary? That it was the worst thing I've ever been through? Does he want me to cry?"

"No he doesn't," Caleb said softly as he came from the kitchen where he'd been listening to his father talk to Dean. "He just wants to make sure you are ok."

"I'm fine," Dean said.

"Oh buddy you are a very long way from fine," Caleb said as he got closer to the boy. "You want to eat?"

Dean shook his head.

"Figured. Its not easy to eat after having your butt kicked thoroughly. But they do try to get you to eat. You'd think they'd understand," the older boy said. "Well if you're not hungry I'll help you get ready for bed."

Dean glared at him.

"Yeah I know you can do it yourself and you don't need help. But trust me I've been where you are and it seriously sucks out loud. Will you let me help you?" Caleb asked.

Dean was quiet for a moment then nodded. "Can we check on Sammy first?"

Caleb smiled at him. "Of course we can."

Caleb waited outside of Sammy's room while Dean went in and checked on his little brother. Sammy had kicked off his covers and Dean gently pulled them up covering the little boy up to his neck. Then he gently pushed his hair off his forehead out of his eyes.

"Night Sammy," he whispered and bent forward and kissed his forehead. Something he only did while his baby brother was sleeping. "I sure missed you."

Caleb continued to watch as Dean stood there for a moment watching Sammy sleep then turn and leave the room.

"Ready for bed now?" Caleb asked keeping his tone low as to not wake anyone.

Dean nodded and started for the stairs.

"Nope come on. You're sleeping in my room tonight," Caleb said softly.

"Isn't Dad in there?" Dean asked.

Caleb shook his head. "No. You're father's crashed on the couch in the basement."

Dean nodded and let himself be led into Caleb's room. "Sleeping bag?" he asked wanting nothing more than to go to sleep now.

"Dude would I let you sleep on the floor in your condition?" Caleb asked sounding mortally offended. "Sammy left a change of clothes before he went to bed. Do you want some help or can you manage?"

"I can manage," Dean said quickly.

"Ok. Tell you what I'll go out of the room and leave the door open a crack. Just let me know if you need some help or when you're ready to get into bed," Caleb said.

Dean watched him leave. "I can do this," he said softly.

He was able to change into clean shorts and jogging pants but ran into difficulty when he tried to change his shirt. Sighing in frustration and exhaustion he sat down slowly on the bed. "Caleb," he said softly.

Caleb entered the room. "You want some help with your shirt or do you want to keep it on?"

"I don't care," Dean said as he closed his eyes. "Just wanna sleep."

"Ok. Well how about we take the shirt off so it doesn't get tangled in the sling while you sleep?" Caleb offered. Slowly and as gently as possible the teen took off Dean shirt. "I need you to stand up for a second."

Pale and shaking Dean slowly rose to his feet. As fast as he could Caleb pulled down the covers and got Dean settled into the bed then pulled the sheets up around the boy. He sat on the bed and gently rested his hand on Dean's chest. His own father had done the same to him as a child and he'd always found it comforting.

"You did good today. This will get better Dean and it won't hurt so much to do everything," Caleb said softly then started to stand. "Good night."

Dean's good hand shot out and grabbed his hand bringing it back to rest on his chest.

"You want me to stay for a few minutes?" Caleb asked.

Dean didn't respond just looked up at him.

"Look I know how bad this has been Dean," the older teen said as he sat back on the bed. "Not all hunts are this messed up."

"Promise? Dean whispered.

"Yeah. In fact when you get a little older the action gets a lot more interesting," Caleb said as he moved his eye brows up and down a few times.

Dean smiled slightly and rolled his eyes. "You mean girls. Don't have time for that. I have my hands full with Sammy."

"Oh when you're ready you'll make time," Caleb said with a knowing smile. "But until then you'll find that there may be no such thing as simple but not all hunts are bad."

"What was your first hunt?" Dean asked sleepily and Caleb had the distinct impression that he was asking for a bed time story.

"Well actually it was a salt and burn. Your Daddy…," Caleb started to explain as he pulled the covers up a bit.

Ten minutes later he realized that Dean had fallen asleep. He watched for a few moments to make sure the boy was resting comfortably. When he was satisfied the boy would be ok he turned off the lights and headed down to the living room to sleep on the couch.


	24. Day 23 December 27th

**Disclaimer: **Nope. Nothin has changed. I still own nothing recognizable. I only wish Caleb and Angel were mine.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you all for your patience while I got through this chapter and a few other things. The chapter ended up being just short of 24 pages. So I split up the post. I hope the chapters aren't too long. Thanks to lynxlan for the really quick beta today so I could post before leaving work.

Hopefully the last two chapters will not take as long to get out.

**Trust and Faith**

By infinite shadow

**Day 23 December 27 – Part 1**

Caleb woke slowly drifting from deep sleep to being mildly aware as he lay on the living room couch. He turned from his side where he had been facing the back of the couch and onto his back. It was hot, uncomfortably hot and he kicked off the blankets that were tangled in his legs. Heat radiated out at him and he sluggishly brought an arm up to cover his face only to get his arm wet with sweat. The dampness woke him further and that's when he realized there was someone in the room with him. The sound of a young voice murmuring nearby. He struggled to full alertness as he tried to hear what was being said.

"Have to go back…didn't finish…too cold…"

Caleb opened his eyes and a flickering light caught his attention. He looked over at the fireplace to see Dean. His arm was cradled protectively into his chest, his knees were brought up in front of his arm and his other arm was around his knees. Slowly the young boy rocked back and fourth in front of the flames.

Slowly Caleb swung his legs over the side of the couch as he sat up. "Dean?" he said softly not wanting to startle the boy.

Dean didn't turn or stop moving or murmuring to himself. Caleb frowned as he realized that Dean wasn't blinking as he stared into the fire.

"Too much snow…..To cold," Dean murmured as he inched closer to the flame.

"Hey Dean? Buddy? You're a little close to the fire. Come on back a bit, ok?" Caleb said in an even tone.

When Dean didn't respond the nineteen year old stood up and stepped over to the fireplace. Kneeling next to the boy Caleb took a moment to take in the child's appearance. Dean was sweating heavily, the salty liquid dripping from his hairline down his jaw, and his upper body was covered in sweat. Dean shivered violently and paused his rocking slightly as he squeezed his eyes closed and hugged his wounded wrist closer to his body.

"Falling….can't stop…falling…so cold," he murmured and then rested his head on his knees. "Don't wanna die……Sammy……never forgive me……"

"Dean," Caleb said softly as he gently rested a hand on the back of the boy's bowed head. "Hey buddy can you hear me?"

"Cold……have to save Daddy……have to get help……Jesse……so cold……so tired…..wanna go home……" Dean said softly his voice muffled by his knees.

Caleb's heart constricted tightly as he swallowed against the tightness in his throat. He knew what this was. He recognized the sign of delayed shock, or what he thought might have been delayed shock. He had done the same thing three weeks after coming to live with Jim. After trying desperately to hold on, to be strong like he'd known his parents would have wanted, he gave in and finally cried. Crying out for his mother, crying out for his father, just screaming at the pain in his heart that was overwhelming him. Then Jim had been there, just sitting beside him with an arm wrapped around him, promising him that no matter how hard or painful this was it would be ok. The pain would lessen and become less overwhelming. And he'd cried until he'd fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around the cleric and tears drying on his cheeks.

Whimpers from Dean brought him out of his memories and keeping one hand on the boy's head he put his other on Dean's arm that was wrapped around his legs.

"Dean? Hey I need you to look at me," Caleb said a bit louder.

"Daddy please," Dean whimpered.

Caleb sighed softly then pursed his lips. "Dean I'm going to move you back from the heat just a bit, ok?"

Dean pulled his head up and stared back into the fire. "Cold…..so cold……falling……can't stop……cold….too cold…..can't sleep…..get back……Sammy….._Sammy_……"

Tears began to slip down Dean's face as his voice cracked over his sibling's name. "Sammy….promised….ten days…..have to…….falling….can't stop…..hurts…."

"Dean!" Caleb said a lot louder and when he didn't get a response this time he reached out and pulled the boy's face around to look at him. "Dean?" Caleb said a little softer as he looked into a blank stare.

"Jesse….have to find truck….phone…. cold…" the boy mumbled as he began to tremble. "Cold….falling….can't stop……hurts……too cold….."

Caleb tapped Dean's hot tear stained cheek gently. "Dean? Come on buddy. Are you with me?"

Dean trembled almost violently at the light slaps to his face and blinked several times in confusion. "C-Caleb?" he whispered.

"Yeah buddy. It's me," Caleb with a sigh of relief. "What's going on? Couldn't sleep?"

Dean shook his head as his eyes sought out the flames. "It's too cold. I need to get warm."

"Hey look at me," he said and waited patiently for the boy to comply. "It's not cold in here. In fact you're so hot you're sweating."

"Feels cold. I can't get warm. Please help me Caleb I can't get warm," Dean pleaded as his teeth began to chatter.

Caleb nodded and stood up. He grabbed the blanket he'd been sleeping under and helped Dean to his feet. He wrapped the shivering boy in the blanket then picked him up then sat on the couch. Placing Dean next to him he pulled the boy back slightly to let him rest against his chest where the heat from the fire was less intense.

"Cold. Caleb it's too cold," Dean whimpered. "Closer."

"This is close enough," he said softly.

"No," Dean said. "Closer please."

"Dean what were you saying a few minutes ago?" Caleb asked.

"Cold," the boy said softly staring at the flames in the fireplace.

"I know buddy," Caleb said softly.

Dean shivered again.

"What were you seeing?" He asked.

"Snow. Lying in the cold snow," Dean said so softly that Caleb almost didn't hear him.

"Why were you lying in the snow?" Caleb asked.

Dean shook his head. "Doesn't matter now."

"Yeah it does. Why were you lying in the snow?" the teen asked again.

"Fell off the mountain," he said.

"Is that how you hurt your shoulder?" Caleb asked.

"Stepped back from the yeti and fell," Dean whispered as he shook harder. Suddenly the boy twisted around, pulled his arm out of his sling and wrapped his arms around Caleb.

"Hey it's ok," Caleb said softly.

"No," Dean said as he buried his face into the older teen's shoulder and grabbing onto his shirt tightly. "Make it stop! Please! I can't stop seeing it! I can't stop falling! Please Caleb! _Please_!"

Caleb wrapped his arms around the boy. "It's ok Dean. I've got you. Everything's going to be ok," he said softly as Dean sobbed in his arms.

He held Dean until the sobs quietened. He knew the boy was still awake by the way he sniffled and his breath hitched in his chest.

"Dean I can help you but you're going to have to trust me, ok?" Caleb said softly

For a moment the only response was sniffles and hitches of breathing. Then Dean nodded. "What do I do?"

"Well the best I can figure is that you need to talk about this," he said.

Dean shook his head. "No. Hunters don't do that. Hunters suck it up and do their jobs. That's it. End of story."

Caleb smiled slightly. "Well no that's not quite true. Many hunters don't want to talk about their experiences. But I've seen more than one hunter come here and tell their stories to Jim. Do you know why?"

"No," Dean said.

"Because they trust that Jim will keep what they tell him private. That they won't be looked down upon for needing to talk," Caleb said.

"I don't wanna talk to Pastor Jim," Dean said softly.

"Well Dean you need to talk to someone. How about your Dad?" Caleb suggested.

Dean shook his head. "He'll see me as weak and he'll never see me as a hunter."

"Ok," Caleb said knowing full well that John didn't see his oldest son as weak but that was a debate for another time. "Is there someone you would feel comfortable talking to?"

Dean pulled back slightly so he could look up at Caleb. "Can I talk to you? You won't tell Dad will you?" he asked anxiously.

"Yeah you can talk to me and I won't tell your Dad. I promise," Caleb said seriously to the boy.

Dean sighed as he nodded and leaned back into Caleb resting his head on the older boy's shoulder. He was quiet for a few moments and then began to tell his story stopping several times as he shivered violently or cried softly. Caleb didn't interrupt him and listened intently only murmuring quiet words of support and encouragement when Dean stopped.

"After that I woke at Don's house. I told him about Dad and Jesse then slept lots. Dad came back and Jesse didn't," Dean said softly and then stopped.

Caleb was quiet as he waited for Dean to continue. But after a few minutes he realized that the boy had either fell asleep or didn't want to say anything else. "Dean?" he said softly.

"Yeah?" Dean said.

"What happened next?" Caleb asked.

"Jesse didn't come home. There is no next. I failed him," he whispered.

"Dean you saved him. You didn't fail anyone," Caleb said strongly.

"If he was _saved_ he'd be here! Instead he's in a hospital somewhere probably fighting for his life," Dean yelled as he pushed away from Caleb then gasped as he held his arm.

"Take it easy Dean," Caleb said as he glanced over at the clock. "I think you're due for some pain meds."

"No," Dean said softly.

"Yeah I think it's ok. It's been like eight hours since you've had any," Caleb said.

"No I don't deserve the relief," Dean said pointedly looking away from Caleb.

Caleb snorted. "Look stop with the martyr crap and listen up kid cause this is important. You did everything you could to get help so that Jesse and your Dad could be rescued. You saved them. You did not fail them. End of story."

Dean looked at Caleb. "No."

Caleb raised his eyebrows. "No?" he repeated.

Dean shook his head and looked away.

"C'mon Dean. I'm not a mind reader. What are you holding back?" Caleb asked.

"It's not over," Dean whispered looking back into the fire.

"Sure it is. Look Jesse will be back," Caleb started then stopped when Dean shook his head.

"It's more than Jesse," Dean said softly and sighed. "I failed because I missed."

"Missed?" Caleb repeated.

"It's still out there. The yeti is still alive. We have to go back," he whispered and started to shake. "But it's too cold. We can't go back there. We won't return. Who will look after Sammy?"

"Dean I'm sure," Caleb started but was cut off.

"We have to go back," Dean whispered and looked up at the teen. "We have to finish the job. But we won't make it back. Promise you'll look after Sammy, Caleb."

Caleb shook his head. "Sorry but I can barely look after myself. Besides I won't need to look after Sammy."

Dean nodded. "Pastor Jim would look after him."

Caleb shrugged. "Yeah I guess he could, but he won't need to. Dean you and your father aren't going back."

Dean's chin trembled slightly. "Promise?" he whispered.

"Yeah kid. I promise," Caleb said resolutely.

Dean closed his eyes and seemed to relax slightly. "Ok."

"Ok what?" he asked.

"Ok I'll take my pain meds," Dean said as he opened his eyes and stood up.

Caleb reached out and steadied the boy. He stood up and gently picked up the exhausted traumatized child mindful of his injuries.

"I can walk," Dean mumbled into Caleb shoulder.

"It's all right Dean. I've got you," Caleb said softly as he headed into the kitchen.

In the shadows of the basement stairs John watched Caleb take Dean into the kitchen. Tears fell down his face as he silently berated himself for what he had put his son through. Guilt washed over him as he went back down the stairs recalling his son's words. _He'll see me as weak and he'll never see me as a hunter._

"Oh God Dean that is so far away from the truth," he whispered as he sunk down onto the couch.

He wiped away the tears and lay his head back on the pillow ignoring the pain from his injuries. He was so proud of his son for the way he had saved all of them. He could never see either one of his sons as weak. _Never. _Back at Don's he'd told Dean how proud his was of him. How bad were his parenting skills if his son didn't believe him?

"Mary you need to help me," he whispered in desperation. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't see anything but the hunt. You promised me you'd help me be a better father than my old man. But I'm not treating them any better than he treated me."

He sighed in the dark quiet basement and it was sometime before he let sleep claim him.

0000000000000

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table looking exhausted. Sammy walked quietly into the room with Angel on his heels.

"You want breakfast Angel?" Sammy asked as he opened the refrigerator door. He looked down and saw the dog watching him. "Well lets see there's some cheese, I know you like that."

"Sammy I don't think Pastor Jim would take kindly to you feeding him people food," Dean said softly.

Sammy spun around quickly and gawked at his brother for a moment in surprise. "You scared me," he said softly.

"Didn't mean to. You need to know where you are and what's around you at all times, right?" Dean said the words falling from his lips naturally but sending a spike of fear through him at the same time. He silently reminded himself that if he'd stuck to that rule he wouldn't have fallen off the mountain.

"Yeah I know but this is Pastor Jim's. We don't havta do that here," Sammy retorted.

Dean nodded.

"Want breakfast?" Sammy asked.

"Nah you go ahead Sammy. I'm not that hungry," Dean said.

"But we got your favourite cereal," Sammy said and pulled out the box of lucky charms out of the cupboard. Grabbing two bowls he quickly put the items down on the table then went back for the milk and spoons.

"Slow down there Sammy. It's not a race," the older boy cautioned as Sammy put the milk on the table and dropped the spoons on the ground.

"Oops," he said as he picked up the utensils and wiped them clean on his shirt. "All clean."

"Sammy, really man," Dean started to say as his brother put a bowl and spoon in front of him.

"You'll havta pour the milk cause I keep spilling it," Sammy said as he poured the cereal into his brother's bowl and then into his own bowl. He looked expectantly at his older brother frowning when Dean did nothing but look at him. "Did I do it wrong?" he asked as he furrowed his brow.

"No you did it just fine," Dean said softly staring down into the sickly sweet cereal. "I'm just not hungry."

"But you haven't eaten _anything_ since you got sick. And if you don't eat you won't get better. That's what Pastor Jim said to Daddy the last time we were here. You _gotta_ get better Dean. Don't you want to get better?" Sammy asked.

"'Course I do," Dean said softly.

"Good. Then you'll eat," Sammy said as he pushed the bowl slightly closer to him.

Dean sighed as he looked down at the sugary cereal and cringed as he felt his stomach begin to churn.

"Dean?" Sammy said getting more concerned as he watched all colour drain away from his brother's face.

He looked over and saw his brother starring at him. "Sammy I," Dean started before his stomach clenched and he ran out of the kitchen and into the hallway bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Sammy chased after him and stopped outside the door where he could hear his brother making retching sounds inside. He turned and saw Caleb sitting up on the couch.

"Sammy?" Caleb said softly. "What time is it?"

The little boy shrugged and walked over to him. "Dean's sick."

Caleb looked over to the closed bathroom door. "Yeah? Well just give him a minute. I don't think I gave him anything to eat last night when he took his pain meds."

"I didn't mean it," Sammy said softly.

Caleb looked at him. "Mean what?" He asked as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Breakfast. I didn't mean to make him sick," Sammy said softly.

"Ah. You tried to get him to eat breaky and he couldn't take it?" Caleb asked.

"I been trying not to hurt him. I didn't even touch him! I swear!" he said guiltily.

"Don't swear," Jim said as he came down the stairs and yawned. "So anyone make coffee yet?"

"No," Caleb said. "Why don't you go make a batch?"

"Ok. Dean or John up yet?" Jim asked.

"Dean's up. Don't know about John," Caleb said.

Dean came out of the bathroom pale faced and looking even more exhausted.

"You all right son?" Jim asked as he took a good look at the boy.

Dean nodded as he leaned up against the wall and let himself slide down it ignoring the pain from his injuries as he did so. "Tired," he whispered as he closed his eyes and rested an arm over his store stomach.

"Dean?" Sammy said as he rushed over to him.

"It's ok Sammy. Just tired. Really," Dean said.

Jim noticed that Sammy knelt close to his brother but didn't touch him. "Come on Dean. Let's get you over to the recliner."

"'m fine. G'way," Dean said.

"Dude I thought we covered that this morning. You are not fine," Caleb said as he joined everyone else around the boy.

Jim shot his son a questioning look which Caleb pointedly ignored. Shaking his head slightly he carefully helped Dean to his feet and steered him to the recliner.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered.

"Yeah?" the younger sibling said.

"Gonna be ok. Just need some sleep," Dean whispered.

"Ok," Sammy said but he looked unsure.

Caleb placed a blanket over Dean and ushered the youngest Winchester away from his older brother.

"Breakfast little one. Then I know a particular puppy who would like to be walked," Caleb said.

"Not little," Sammy said as he stuck out his lower lip.

"Oh yeah?" Caleb said as he grabbed Sammy and flipped him so he was hanging upside down.

Sammy giggled as Caleb carried him into the kitchen that way.

Angel walked circles around them wagging her tail and trying to get into the fun. She settled for licking Sammy's face.

"Hmmm. Now where did Sammy go?" Caleb pondered as he continued to hold the five year old upside down. "Oh well I guess it's just me for breakfast."

"NO! I'm right here!" Sammy yelled then giggled some more. "Pastor Jim help!"

Jim came into the room and smiled. "Do be careful with him," he said knowing that Sammy was in good hands as he went to the counter and started fixing coffee.

Caleb flipped Sammy right side up. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast," Sammy said.

Caleb put him down glad that the fearful look was gone from the little boy's face.

"And your crafty skills have made?" Jim asked as he turned around and saw the boys tuck into two bowls of lucky charms as Caleb continued to make Sammy laugh. He turned and opened the refrigerator. "I think I still have some eggs in here somewhere."

"Too much sugar for you in the morning?" John asked as he came into the kitchen and watched the cleric search for something in his refrigerator.

"At any time of the day," Jim said as he straightened up with a carton of eggs. "Omelette or sugary cereal?" Jim asked.

John made a disgusted face at the mere thought. He didn't even take sugar in his coffee. "Omelette. Dean up?"

"He was," Jim said and turned to look at the table as the room suddenly fell silent.

"I didn't mean to Daddy," Sammy said softly. "I just tried to make him breakfast."

"Dean had a tough night. I gave him his pain meds last night on an empty stomach. Then when Sammy made him breakfast it was a little too much for him," Caleb clarified to John then turned to Sammy. "Not your fault kiddo."

Sammy scowled into his cereal.

"Hey do I need to bring out the tickle torture?" Caleb said in mock seriousness as waved his fingers menacingly at he little boy.

Sammy shook his head. "No. I just feel bad," he said softly.

Caleb ruffled his hair. "Eat your breakfast before it gets any soggier."

John turned back to Jim. "I'll be leaving as soon as Dean wakes so I can say goodbye," he said just loud enough for the pastor to hear him.

Jim sighed. "Well that is your decision and the boys are welcome to stay. But you don't have to go, you know that right?"

"I need to do this for Dean," John said and rubbed a hand over his face. "I need to do this for the both of us."

"Well if you're sure," Jim started and then stopped when his friend nodded. "You don't have to go alone. Give me a few minutes and I can have a bag packed and ready to go."

"No. I'm good. Besides," he said as he watched his youngest interact with Caleb. "I don't think leaving my boys alone with your son is the greatest idea."

Giggles erupted from the table as Caleb began to tickle Sam.

"Daddy! Pastor Jim! Help!" Sammy shouted before dissolving into laugher as he tried to fight off the nineteen year old.

"Tickle torture!" Caleb hollered with a big smile on his face.

"All right. Well if I can't talk you out of it," Jim said then fished an egg out of the container. "What do you want in your omelette?"

0000000000000

John placed a hand on his son's shoulder and gave a gentle shake. "Dean? Wake up boy."

"G'way. Sleeping," Dean mumbled.

John smiled slightly at the response. "You need to wake up now son," he said as he gave him another gentle shake.

Dean mumbled something unintelligible.

John turned serious. "Now Dean. Get up," he ordered.

Dean's eyes shot open and he bolted up in his seat. He quickly scanned the room for danger then blinked a few times as he focused on his father. "Dad?"

"Yeah kiddo it's just me," John said softly and squeezed his son's shoulder trying to take the fear away from Dean's eyes.

Dean blinked a few more times and did another quick check of the room. Nothing seemed to be out of order and he looked back at his father noticing that he had a jacket on. "You're leaving," he whispered.

"Yeah I am," John said softly.

"Just give me a moment. I can have a bag packed and you can fill me in while we drive," Dean said leaning forward to get up.

John put slight pressure on his son's shoulder to keep him sitting. "No. I'll be doing this one solo buddy. It's not a hunt. There's just something I need to do."

Dean relaxed back into he recliner as he eyed his father. "Not a hunt?"

"That's right. There's no danger Dean. It's just something I need to do," John said softly. "Now you mind Jim and Caleb."

"And look after Sammy. I know Dad. I've got it covered," Dean said softly.

"Do you?" John asked seriously. "You're not doing so hot here kiddo."

"I'm fine Dad," Dean said firmly.

"You are a long way from fine," John said thinking back to the conversation from earlier this morning that he'd over heard. "You haven't eaten anything since you were rushed to the hospital. So by the time I return I expect you to be eating. Understood?"

He knew an order when he heard one and even though Dean began to feel nauseated at the very though of food he nodded.

"I don't expect big meals but you have to start eating boy. I'm worried about you," John said.

"Ok sir," Dean said.

John nodded and stood up.

"Um Dad?" Dean said and cringed slightly at the weakness in his tone.

"Yeah?" John said.

Dean looked up at his father and swallowed heavily. He didn't want him to go and he didn't understand because he'd been left in charge of Sammy many times and never felt this way before. He was scared for his father to leave.

"What is it Dean?" John asked crouching down in front of the boy again.

"Could you call tonight?" Dean asked in a rush then looked away as his cheeks burned in embarrassment. He sounded so weak.

John smiled and put a hand on his son's cheek. "Sure. No problem. Tell you what. I'll call at eight tonight. Make sure you and Sammy are still up, ok?"

Dean relaxed again and smiled slightly. "Yes sir."

John's smile increased. "I'll be back soon."

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. He was so tired, but he couldn't let himself sleep. With his father gone it was up to him to keep his little brother out of trouble, regardless where they were.

He pushed himself forward and slowly stood up. The room tilted slightly around him and he held onto the side of the chair for support. When the room settled he made his way into the kitchen on shaky feet.

Jim was just sitting down at the table with a mug of coffee. "Hey Dean. Come and join me."

Dean nodded and sat down at the table. He rested his forearms on the table and cradled his head on them. "Where's Sammy?"

"Outside saying good bye to your father," Jim said quietly and took a sip of his coffee.

Dean started to get up.

"Caleb's out there with him," Jim said. "I'll bet they'll be a little chilly when they come back inside. Do you think they'd enjoy some hot coco?"

"Yeah I think so," Dean said.

"If I were to make a large batch would you have some?" Jim asked.

Dean looked away from the cleric. "I'll try."

Jim smiled at him. "Good. How about some plain toast with that."

Dean nodded. "Yes sir."

Part 2 coming right up.


	25. Day 23 December 27th part 2

**Disclaimer: **Nope. Nothin has changed. I still own nothing recognizable. I only wish Caleb and Angel were mine.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you all for your patience while I got through this chapter and a few other things. The chapter ended up being just short of 24 pages. So I split up the post. I hope the chapters aren't too long. Thanks to lynxlan for the really quick beta today so I could post before leaving work.

**Trust and Faith**

By infinite shadow

**Day 23 December 27 – Part 2**

Later on that afternoon Sammy sat on the floor quietly colouring pictures that Caleb had drawn while Dean watched cartoons.

"Do you think Daddy will really be back in two days?" Sammy asked out of the blue as he looked at two different shades of blue crayon.

"Yeah I think he will be," Dean said. "He's not hunting Sammy. He just needed to do something."

The youngest Winchester put down his crayons and looked up at his brother. "What's he doing?"

"He didn't say," Dean said his eyes not leaving the T.V. screen.

"If he's not hunting then why'd he leave?" Sammy asked.

Dean sighed. "I don't know Sammy. Really."

Sammy turned and looked down at his picture. He didn't feel like colouring anymore so he put the few crayons that were on the floor back into the container and closed the colouring book. He stood up and put the items on the dinning room table then returned back to the living room. He started to sit on the couch beside his brother then changed his mind and went to sit on the recliner.

"Sammy? Why don't you sit over here? You can't see the T.V. very well from there," Dean said looking at his brother.

"No I'm ok here," Sammy said softly.

Dean sighed. "Sammy get your butt over here now. You don't want to make me come over there."

It was an empty threat at best but Dean was surprised when his little brother paled slightly.

Sammy slowly got up and then after a slight hesitation sat down on the floor in front of the couch.

"Sammy you don't have to sit on the floor," Dean said.

"It's ok Dean. I don't mind," Sammy said softly watching the cartoon.

"Well I do. Get up here. Now," Dean said cringing slightly at his tone. He didn't mean to make it an order but it sure had come out as one. He had to get Sammy to treat him normally otherwise this whole mess could never be forgotten.

Sammy bolted up to his feet, turned and looked at his brother with big eyes. "But I can't!" He said miserably.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"I'll hurt you," Sammy said looking miserable. "You're hurt enough. I havta stay away."

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head slightly feeling relieved. His brother didn't see him as broken but was concerned enough to stay away from him. "Sammy man you're not gonna hurt me. Now come on sit here beside me."

Sammy looked unsure but did as his brother asked. He sat completely still on a separate cushion barely breathing on his brother's good side. While watching the cartoon he snatched glimpses of his brother to make sure he wasn't hurting him.

"Boys I have some lunch ready if you're interested," Jim said as he came into the room.

Sammy nodded but stayed where he was.

"Thanks Pastor Jim," Dean said as he slowly eased himself off the couch. "Come on Sammy."

As soon as Dean was off the couch Sammy got up as well and followed his brother into the kitchen. Dean picked at his cheese sandwich and only ate about half of it but it was more than he'd eaten in a while and Pastor Jim was pleased with is progress. Sammy ate his sandwich and the rest of Dean's.

"Well can I get you boys anything else?" Jim asked as finished off his own sandwich.

"No thanks," Sammy said as he finished his milk and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "Can we walk Angel now?"

"I think that's a great idea. Why don't you go round her up Sammy?" Jim said.

"Ok!" Sammy said and got down from the table and rushed out of the room.

"Want to come Dean?" Jim said. "We can stay close to the house and go slow."

"No sir. I have a couple of things I should do," Dean said.

"Well ok. Caleb's in my office working on some pictures if you need anything," Jim said.

"How's the demon collection coming?" Dean asked.

"Really well. He's been working on some wraith pictures for me," Jim said.

Dean was quiet for a few moments. "Pastor Jim?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Caleb would draw out the yeti if I described it to him?" Dean asked and couldn't help the shiver that ran through him.

Jim was thoughtful for a moment. "Well Dean I'd be lying if I said to you it wouldn't be a great addition to the library, but I'm afraid the cost to you would be far too high. You've been through so much. Having to describe the animal to Caleb may be very frightening and make you re-live the experience. So while I appreciate your offer Dean I don't want to put you through anything else. So please don't. Ok?"

"I got him," Sammy announced as he carried in Angel.

"Sammy she's got more legs then you do. She can walk," Dean admonished.

Angel struggled as she tried to get down.

"But she's cuddly," Sammy protested.

"Angel is not a toy. Put her down," Dean said firmly.

"Oh all right," Sammy said as he gently put the dog down.

"Sammy if it has four paws it stays on the ground," Dean said. "Remember that."

"Ok but what if it has two?" the child asked.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Well if it has two then shoot it 'cause we're probably hunting it."

Sammy stilled and furrowed his eyebrows as he thought it through. "Ok."

Jim smiled behind his coffee mug. "Can you get her leash Sammy?"

"Yup," the boy said as he moved over to the shelf that Angel's things were kept on.

Angel walked over to Dean and gave him a slight nudge with her nose. She looked up and wagged her tail at him.

"Hey girl," Dean said as he reached down to pet her.

Jim got up, grabbed the dishes and put them into the sink. "Ok Dean. We shouldn't be too long."

"Angel!" Sammy called out and the dog went over to him. He carefully put on her collar and clipped the lead to it.

"Caleb's in the office if I need anything," Dean said and took a drink of his warm water.

Jim nodded as he put on his jacket and shoes. Then he took the lead from Sammy and waited as the young boy put on his outerwear.

Dean got up and went over to his little brother. He knelt down and tied Sammy's shoes and did up his jacket. Sammy smiled at him and turned to leave but Dean grabbed his jacket.

"What?" Sammy asked.

"Missing something little brother?" Dean asked as he stood up.

"Oh," Sammy said and without thinking wrapped his arms around his big brother. "Thanks Dean."

Dean returned the hug as best he could with one arm. Suddenly Sammy froze and his arms fell away.

"I'm sorry!" Sammy said his muffled voice sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

Dean let him go with a sigh and knelt in front of his brother. He reminded himself that being away from his family had taken a toll on the little one and as the older brother he had to find a way to make it right. He looked into large teary eyes and smiled. "You didn't hurt me little man. If you had I would've pulled away."

A tear escaped and started to run down Sammy's cheek. "But I did. I touched your broken arm."

Dean nodded as he took his brother's hand and put it onto his sore arm. "See? You can touch me. Sammy I'm on medication that takes away the pain. You can touch me without hurting me, ok?"

Sammy still looked unsure but nodded. "Ok."

Dean reached up and gently wiped away his tears. "Now where are your mittens?"

"Oh, right," Sammy said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out soggy mittens. He made a face at the cold and wet material. "I forgot to dry them."

Dean nodded. "It's ok. Why don't you borrow mine?"

"Really?" Sammy asked.

"Really," Dean said and looked up as Pastor Jim picked up the gloves off the hook they were resting on. "They're a little big but they'll keep you warm."

Jim handed the gloves to Dean and watched as he put the gloves on the little boy's hands.

"Now keep them on and don't lose them," Dean said sternly.

"I will and I won't. Thanks Dean," Sammy said with a smile.

"Go take this one for her walk," Dean said as he petted Angel who had sat down beside him.

0000000000000

Dean walked silently through the house until he came to Pastor Jim's office. He stood just outside the door and watched as Caleb drew intently on another picture of his current obsession - a wraith.

"What's up Dean-o?" Caleb asked not looking up.

"Nothin'. Don't call me Dean-o. It's Dean," he said simply.

"Whatever. Dude come here and check this out," Caleb said as he put the finishing touch on his picture and put down his pencil.

Dean entered the room and stopping next to the desk Caleb was working at. "Wow. So that's what they look like," he said softly.

"Yeah. Scary mothers aren't they," Caleb said.

"I guess," Dean said quietly. "If I described something do you think you could draw it?"

"Could sure try. You want to describe the snow monster?" Caleb asked already knowing the answer.

Dean shivered and nodded.

"You sure?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah," Dean said looking up from the picture. "I do. We didn't get it Caleb. I'm not sure if we're going back or not, but it might be good if Pastor Jim has a reference for it."

"All right. We can do this on one condition," Caleb cautioned.

"What?" Dean asked.

"If it gets to hard for you at any point, if you start to get scared, we stop," he said. "Jim doesn't have to have this."

"Ok. If I get scared I'll stop," Dean said. "Promise."

Caleb took a measuring look of the boy. "Fine," Caleb said as he stood up and pulled over another chair. "Have a seat while I sharpen my pencils."

0000000000000

An hour later Jim and Sammy returned soaking wet. It had begun to snow while they were out and it had taken them longer to get home than expected. Sammy quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and dried off Angel while Jim took the wet jackets, gloves, and scarves and took them to the dryer.

"There you go girl, all dry," Sammy said then laughed as Angel licked his face. "Go find Dean."

Angel sat down and looked at him.

"Well where's my big brother?" Sammy asked.

Angel wagged her tail and barked once before leaving the kitchen. The dog sauntered out into the living room and sat down in front of the hearth.

"Dean's not in here silly," Sammy said as he watched Angel lay down and put her head down on her paws with a sigh. "Ok fine. I'll find him myself."

Sammy went upstairs and looked in all the bedrooms but didn't find anyone. Then he headed downstairs and looked in Pastor Jim's office. He stopped short as he saw his brother point to something that Caleb was working on. Caleb grabbed an eraser and erased something then drew again. Dean nodded in approval.

"That's it," Dean whispered. "That's it."

Sammy was going to walk into the room but the waver in Dean's voice stopped him.

"You did really good Dean," Caleb said gently resting his hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "I'm going to put this away now, all right?"

"Yeah ok," Dean said finally looking away from the picture. "Somewhere where Sammy can't find it."

"What is it Dean? I wanna see it," Sammy said as he rushed into the room.

"No! Sammy stop!" Dean yelled as he quickly got off the chair grabbed at his younger brother and pulled him back.

"Easy there children," Caleb said with a slight smile. "You, little one, are personna non gratis in here."

Dean looked up from scowling at his little brother. "Do you even know what you just said?"

"Of course I do," Caleb said.

"Sure cause it's every day that you say person not free," Dean said as he rolled his eyes. "Freak."

Caleb just laughed out loud as he stood up and grabbed Sammy by his upper arms and held him up in the air. "You know what?" Caleb said as he looked down at Dean.

"What?" Dean asked as he watched the older boy hold his kid brother up off the ground as he squirmed.

"Lemme go!" Sammy hollered.

"I introduced shorty here to tickle torture," Caleb said.

"Dean help!" Sammy shouted.

"Oh man! I was waiting until he was six," Dean said with a slight smile and adjusted his arm in his sling. "Sorry I missed that."

"Well if it's any comfort I'm sure I could find time in my busy schedule to show you what went down the first time," Caleb said.

"Noooo!" Sammy shouted as he started to giggle. "Pastor Jim! Help!"

"Really? Ok," Dean said with a big grin making sure Sammy could see him.

"ANGEL!" Sammy shouted as his last resort.

"Do you think that puppy can help you now squirt?" Caleb asked as he expertly flipped Sammy so he was hanging upside down. The oldest boy held him firmly around his waist as the youngest one dangled mere inches from the floor below.

"Dean!" Sammy yelled looking at his brother as he started to laugh.

Dean looked down at his laughing brother. His eyes were open and sparkling with happiness as his arms flailed around trying to get a purchase on anything that would help him back up. It was times like this that he cherished. They were safe in the only home that was known to them. Where he was still the big brother, but here he had one himself. He was safe here. The only place he was safe. It wasn't safe out there. Out there had the snow monster.

He closed his eyes for a moment as pain lanced through his shoulder.

The snow monster that was still alive. Just waiting.

Dean's chest suddenly felt so tight that he couldn't draw a breath.

It was waiting for him to return. Waiting to extract revenge for the injuries inflicted on him.

He was trying hard to breathe. The room was stifling and he opened his eyes as he tried to suck in a breath.

The sounds of laugher slowly fell away and all he could hear was an annoying buzzing sound. The room began to wobble before his eyes and he staggered back slightly. He couldn't breathe. Why couldn't he breathe?

Sammy stopped struggling as Dean stumbled back and hit the wall of the office. He ignored Angel as she tried to lick his face. And she barked as if saying I'm here! You called me! I'm here to play.

Dean winced as a high pitched bark penetrated the buzzing in his ears. He felt like he was falling down and he was back on the mountain. It was cold. Too cold and he was falling hitting the side of the mountain on the way down. Rocks and branches obscured his vision and he landed hard in cold icy snow.

Dean let out a moan as he slid down the wall and landed hard onto the floor. Angel turned at the noise and instantly went to the boy. She sniffed at his arm and chest making her way up to his face. She licked his cheek, backed off slightly and growled before barking a second time.

Dean looked around him. This was wrong. He thought he was safe, but he was wrong. There was no safe. He was cold, wet and alone. He was going to die.

"Dean? Caleb put me down! Dean!" Sammy shouted. "Something's wrong with Dean!"

"Get Jim," Caleb said as he carefully righted the youngest Winchester and dropped him to his feet. "Now Sammy Go!" he shouted as he dropped to his knees by the pale boy.

"Dean?" he said softly as he gently tapped his cheek. "Dean come on buddy. You're at Jim's. You are safe here. Everything's fine. Come one now. Come back to us."

As Dean lay there in the cold snow he could hear Sammy screaming for Pastor Jim. Sammy wasn't supposed to be in danger and he wasn't supposed to be on this hunt. His little brother should never sound so terrified and alone. He had to get to him and find out what was wrong. He didn't have to open his eyes to hear the tears in his younger brother's voice.

"Sammy," he whispered as he forced his eyes open and was surprised to find that he was sitting on the floor of Pastor Jim's office. He blinked a few times and as the buzzing fell away he noticed the room was very quiet.

"Dean? Hey buddy look at me," Caleb said.

Dean blinked wearily as a face came into focus. "Caleb? What happened?"

"I don't know. One minute we were tormenting your little brother the next you fainted," Caleb said as he took serious stock of the little boy.

"Girls faint," Dean said as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"Well you always were a little girly," Caleb retorted.

"Am not. Sammy's the girl," Dean said.

"Caleb!" Jim said as he rushed into the room. "What happened?"

Caleb looked up as the cleric dropped to his knees beside him. "I'm not sure. One minute he was fine the next he was out cold."

"Dean look at me," Jim said softly as he touched the boy's throat searching for his pulse and found it racing.

"I'm fine," Dean said as he tried to push the man's hand away and open his eyes. "Stop fussing."

Sammy raced into the room a moment later with a red medical bag and the dog running with him.

"Dean," the cleric said calmly. "Your pulse is racing and you look like you're having trouble breathing."

"Am not," Dean said petulantly.

"Dean work with me here," Jim said evenly. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Dean said as he closed his eyes and let his head lean back against the wall. "Guess I'm just tired."

"Could it be the meds?" Caleb asked softly.

Jim raised his eyebrows at the thought. "I didn't check the possible reactions. Can you get the information sheet? It's on the fridge."

Caleb got up and hurried out of the room.

"Dean?" Sammy said softly. "You ok?"

Dean opened his eyes and sought out his little brother. Sammy was kneeling on the floor near him with his hand on the dog looking at him as if he was about to cry. "'S ok Sammy. C'mere."

Sammy shifted forward on the hardwood floor just short of touching his brother. Dean reached out and pulled him closer.

"I'm ok Sammy. Didn't mean to scare you. It's ok," Dean said softly not liking the tremor in his voice.

Jim frowned slightly. He was missing something. He had felt like he'd missed something since this whole mess started.

"No more drawing," Sammy said softly.

Jim looked at the little boy who had his head firmly planted on his older brother's shoulder and his arms securely wrapped around him. Dean had wrapped his good arm around him.

Caleb came into the room a moment later carrying the information sheet. Jim stood up and glared at the younger man.

"Says here that he could faint," he started and was cut off.

"Girls faint. I merely blacked out for a minute," Dean said his eyes still closed.

"Have dizzy spells, trouble sleeping, yada, yada, vomiting, yada, yada, yada, hallucinations," Caleb said and straightened up slightly with a big grin. "Hey Dean care to share?"

Jim snatched the paper out of his hands and read down the list silently. "Damnit."

"Hey," Sammy said and his voice was muffled slightly by Dean's shirt. "Pastor's aren't supposed to swear."

"Sammy he isn't your normal pastor," Dean said softly as he rubbed his brother's back slightly.

"Dad?" Caleb asked softly a little unnerved by his father's outburst. Regardless of what the younger Winchesters thought his father barely swore.

Jim lowered the paper. "Shouldn't excite the patient," he said just above a whisper so Caleb could hear him.

"Why is that a problem?" Caleb asked.

"The medication raises his blood pressure. Exciting him raised it too high and he passed out," Jim said.

"Hey I was buggin Sam, not Dean," Caleb said in his own defence.

"Ok. But what were you doing before that?" Jim asked pinning Caleb with an angry stare.

"We drew the yeti," Caleb said perplexed at the anger that was being focused on him.

"So add stress to the mixture and he fainted," Jim said.

"_Girls_ faint! I was a little dizzy," Dean defended himself.

"Yeah," Sammy said petulantly.

"You're a girl _Samantha_," Dean said giving his brother a squeeze. "Now get off me. I wanna get up. Damn floor's cold."

"Don't swear," Jim said absently.

Caleb chuckled and Jim smacked him upside the head.

"Hey!" Caleb protested. "He swore."

"Yeah well I'm sure you've done something lately to deserve that," Jim said.

Caleb looked like he was about to protest then stopped and shrugged. "Can't argue with that."

"Help Dean up," Jim said.

"Don't need help," Dean grumbled as Sammy sat up.

"Sammy give him a hand," Jim said. "Then go watch some cartoons."

"Yes sir," Sammy said as he cringed at the pastor's sharp tone. He stood up and reached down for his brother.

Dean looked at the pastor and sighed. He accepted his brother's hand to stand up and leaned against the wall for a moment. The room was shifting slightly around him.

"Dean are you in any pain?" Jim asked.

"No sir," Dean answered automatically. He wouldn't have volunteered the truth for anything at that moment.

"Fine. Then go watch cartoons or something," Jim said as he sat down at his desk and spied the drawing of the snow monster.

"Come on. I'll give you a hand," Caleb offered.

"No Caleb you will stay. Dean and Sam out," Jim said sharply.

Sammy looked from his brother, who he'd been watching in concern, and over to the pastor. He reached out and took Dean's hand pulling him forward slightly towards the door. Dean started walking and slowly Sammy dropped behind him letting his older brother leave the room before him. He took a second to look back at Jim.

"Sowwie Pastor Jim," Sammy said softly then hurriedly left the room. He wasn't sure what exactly he was sorry about, but he thought the cleric was angry because he'd made too much noise or because he'd let Dean get hurt.

Jim took a deep breath to calm himself and looked at the spot Dean had been sitting in. He knew better than to take his anger out on the boys, but he was struggling with his overwhelming feelings. He was afraid for Jesse as they hadn't heard anything on the man's condition. He was frustrated that he couldn't help Dean with his traumatic experience. But mostly he was plain angry at John for leaving his boys when they desperately needed him here. The man was out gallivanting somewhere and wouldn't even tell Jim where he was going. The man was tight lipped about many things, but he would normally tell him where he was going and what he was doing when the boys were left with him.

Caleb perched on the edge of the desk and put a hand on his father's shoulder. "It will be ok Dad. You'll see. Everything will work out."

Jim looked up at his son as he put his hand over Caleb's and sighed heavily grateful that his son was there. "I know," he said softly.

"John's just being John. Dean and Sammy will be fine. As will Jesse. You'll see," Caleb said.

Jim nodded. "I hope so son," he said.

0000000000000

Just after dinner Jim had returned to his office and began working on his sermon for the upcoming Sunday service. Caleb, Dean and Sam had gone into the living room to watch T.V.

Dean glanced up at the clock and sighed softly. It was just before nine and his father hadn't called. He looked down at Sammy who was curled up against him and then over to Caleb.

"Isn't it past his bedtime?" Caleb asked as he caught Dean's eye.

"Yeah it is," he said softly.

"Do you want me to carry him upstairs?" Caleb offered.

Dean nodded.

Caleb stood up and gently picked up Sammy resting him against his shoulder. Sammy shifted in his sleep but didn't wake up.

Dean stood up stretching slightly then followed them as Caleb started towards the stairs. They walked into the bedroom and Dean pulled back the sheets. Caleb carefully laid Sammy into the bed and Dean pulled up the covers.

"Dean?" Sammy asked sleepily.

"Right here. Go back to sleep," Dean said softly.

Sammy sighed and rolled towards his brother's voice. "Daddy home?"

"No. Not yet. Go back to sleep," Dean said as he ran his hand through his little brother's hair.

"Ok," Sammy mumbled.

Dean sat there next to his brother just watching him sleep for a moment. He was angry and disappointed. His father was supposed to call. He said he would and he often did when he was on a hunt. But that was to check on them to make sure they were ok. This was different. He knew his father wasn't hunting and they were safe with Jim and Caleb so there really wasn't a reason to call.

"Hey you gonna stare at him all night or do you want to learn how to play poker?" Caleb asked.

"No," Dean said.

"I swear I need a freaking map to have a conversation with you man. No you're not going to stare at him all night, or no you don't want to learn how to play poker, or no to all of the above," Caleb said sensing an entire switch in Dean's mood.

Dean sighed heavily and didn't respond.

"Dean," Caleb said softly. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," Dean said. "Tired."

Caleb snorted.

Dean turned to look at the teen. "What?"

"Understatement. Of course you're tired. But there's something else," Caleb said.

Dean looked at him for a second and turned back to watch over Sammy. "It doesn't matter," he said softly.

"Man it always matters. Now spill," Caleb said and sighed when he got nothing but silence. "You know I'm not above using tickle torture on the wounded."

Dean knew it was a bluff but he knew he could trust Caleb. He just didn't want to say the words aloud. "Dad."

"Dad what? You want your Dad here? Or," Caleb said and paused as it came to him. "Your Dad was supposed to call, wasn't he?"

Dean didn't say anything but the clenching of the younger boy's jaw told Caleb everything he needed to know.

"Dean," he started but was cut off.

"Don't make excuses for him. I'm not surprised but I shouldn't have hoped he would have called. I know better. I'm just glad I didn't tell Sammy," Dean said softly. "At least he's not disappointed."

Caleb watched as Sammy twitched in his sleep and Dean gently ran his hand through his brother's hair calming him instantly. His heart broke for the two young boys in front of him. At least when he ached for his parents it was because they were dead. When Dean or Sammy were without their father it was because he was hunting. They were second best when it came to John Winchester and it chaffed at the hunter no end.

"Hey," Caleb said softly. "Come on. Sammy's fine. I want to teach you the finer points of poker cheating."

Dean turned and looked at him questioningly.

"Oh come on," Caleb said as he rolled his eyes slightly. "It's one of the best ways to earn money. 'Sides I can't teach you pool, there's no table here and you're too short to learn properly."

"Really?" Dean asked already knowing how to cheat at poker.

Caleb nodded. "Really."

"Ok," Dean said. "But I've never played before."

"Don't worry kiddo. I'll teach you," Caleb said.

"Great," Dean said as he stood up. Tonight could be his lucky night after all.

Three hours later Jim sent both boys to bed.

As they parted at the top of the stairs Caleb grabbed Dean's good arm lightly. "Great hustle tonight kid."

"Thanks," Dean said with a smile as he fingered the three new twenties in his pocket. "But when'd you figure out I could play?" he asked missing the other two twenties he'd lost.

"'Bout an hour ago," Caleb said with a smile. "Next time I'll teach you pool. It's much more profitable."

Dean nodded. He didn't know how to play pool yet. "Night Caleb."

Dean headed into the room and changed into sweats before quietly getting into bed. He lay on his back staring up at the glowing stars on the ceiling that had almost completely faded. Sammy had put those up the last time they were here and he was so exited when they actually worked.

Sammy rolled and flung an arm over his brother. Dean winced a little at the contact then put his arm over Sammy's. "Night little man," he said then closed his eyes and went to sleep.


	26. Day 24 December 28th part 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of value or anything recognizable in the following chapter. Anything you recognize belong to far more talented people. I'm just having fun riding on their coat tails.

**Author's Notes: **Sorry this had taken so long to post. The original file somehow got corrupted and I didn't have a back up. (Glares menacingly at the laptop.) The next half of the day is being rewritten and I'm about two pages in. Shouldn't take too long and I will get it up as soon as I possibly can. However I'm a little worried that this is dragging out too long. But I needed to get this day in. Let the angst continue. Thanks for the great reviews everyone and for sticking it out for so long as I torment the Winchester family. (I swear it's a sickness...)

Thanks out to lynxlan for the beta yesterday. I made some changes after that so any mistakes that are here are solely mine.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 24 – Part 1 Morning**

Jim yawned as he quietly walked out of his room. It was earlier than normal but he had found himself awake with the early dawn and decided to get up with the sun. He paused outside the boy's rooms. It was quiet and he hoped they were sleeping peacefully. The last few weeks had taken a toll on everyone, but more so for the youngest ones. Dean had taken the physical and psychological trauma and his younger brother the emotional. Far too much for ones so young and add to that their father taking off and them in such a state.

Jim had known about the missed call John had promised to make. And he wondered if the man had gotten himself into trouble.

Jim shook his head. There was nothing he could do about any of this except to watch over the boys the best he could while John was gone.

He pushed the door open slightly to check on them wincing at the creaking noise. Dean and Sammy were still asleep. The older boy was on his side with an arm draped across his younger brother. Sammy was snuggled close to his older brother with one hand on his brother's arm. Dean frowned in slumber and pulled Sammy closer to himself.

Jim smiled and shook his head slightly. Dean was protective of his younger brother even in sleep. He pulled the door back leaving it open just a crack and headed downstairs to start Tai Chi to get his day started.

Dean's eyes bolted open and his breathing increased. He had the distinct feeling something wasn't quite right. His shoulder ached terribly and he felt slightly dizzy. The room felt like it was getting colder and shivers ran up his back.

He couldn't see anything in the darkness so he closed his eyes and concentrated on listening. The silence was deafening and aside from Sammy's breathing he couldn't hear anything. Opening his eyes he tried to see in the grayish light that was just beginning to sneak into the room around the curtains. But he couldn't see anything in the room that looked out of the ordinary.

Trying to shake off the feelings he took a deep breath to calm himself and pulled the blankets up tighter around himself and Sammy. He closed his eyes and tried to relax so he could go back to sleep.

"Hey Runt," a voice said.

Dean's eyes shot open and he gasped softly.

"Guess I'm the last person you expected to see, huh?" Jesse said softly.

Dean's pulse began to race as he looked at the ghostly image standing next to the bed. "But… but," he tried.

"But.. But… But what kid? Man you would think that you'd have more respect for the dead. Seeing as it was your fault and all," Jesse said looking angry.

Dean shook his head. "But it wasn't. I tried!"

"Oh well if you _tried_," Jesse mocked. "Damn it kid I'm dead. Where's the 'I'm sorry' or 'I didn't mean it' or at least 'don't haunt me'."

"You're not real," Dean said as he tightened his hold protectively over Sammy.

"Oh yeah?" Jesse said and reached out grabbing Dean by his hurt shoulder.

He tried to keep in the cry of pain but a whimper escaped his lips. "I'm sorry! I did the best I could," Dean said through clenched teeth as he tried to force back the pain.

"Your best wasn't good enough," Jesse snarled. "I so own you kid."

"W-what?" Dean stammered as he opened his eyes.

"Penance for killing me. My life ended because you didn't make it to help in time. _You_ are supposed to be a hunter. _You_ have a responsibility to those you hunt with. If _you_ don't do _your_ job people _die_. I _died_ kid and it's all your fault," Jesse said pointing his finger. "This is all on your shoulders."

Dean shook his head. "You can't haunt me here! There are wards and stuff," the boy said with false bravado.

Jesse snorted. "You think wards are going stop me? Who do you think helped Jim put those wards and charms up in the house? You think that freak of a kid helped him with that?"

"You leave Caleb out of this! It has nothing to do with him," Dean said angrily. "This is my fault not his."

"Ah so you do admit it's your fault," Jesse said with a smile. "Good. Now we can get down to business. Haunting is not all it's cracked up to be."

This had to be dealt with quickly before Sammy woke up. Dean knew he had only one option but he was torn. He had to get out of bed to fight him leaving his little brother unprotected. But if it went on much longer Sammy would wake up and be terrorized. His brother had been through enough. Slowly he removed his arm from around his little brother and got out of bed on unsteady legs.

"Hey where do you think you're going runt?" Jesse demanded. "I'm not done with you yet."

"I want you to leave," Dean said softly as he made his way to the door.

Soulless eyes watched the boy walk away from him. "Ok. I'll leave," Jesse said easily. "Just one thing though."

Dean didn't look back. He was getting dizzier by the minute making it harder get what he needed.

"You haven't learned anything have you? You've made the biggest mistake yet runt. Do you know what that is?"

He paused as the icy tone of Jesse's voice chilled him to his very core. Dean looked back at him as his fingers were mere inches away from protection. The ghost had a huge smile on his face and it made Dean shiver.

"Do you even understand what hunting demons, ghosts and things that go bump in the night are all about? It's about protecting the weak and innocent. This is all about watching other's backs and protecting them against harm," Jesse paused as his grin widened and his voice dropped a notch. "You just left your little brother unprotected. And now he's mine."

Dean grabbed the shot gun that had been loaded with rock salt from where it had rested next to the door frame. "You leave him be!" he shouted.

"Oh go ahead and shoot. After all I already have him," Jesse said as he looked down at Sammy who stood at his side.

"Dean?" Sammy said sleepily as he rubbed at one of his eyes.

Dean glanced to the bed where Sammy's body was and back to Jesse who had a hand planted firmly on the youngest Winchester's shoulder. "Sammy," Dean whispered his eyes growing huge.

Suddenly the gun clattered to the floor as he rushed forward with his arms extended. "Sammy!" he shouted just as he got to his brother trying to grab a hold of him. But his sibling dissolved into nothingness around his fingers. He frantically looked around the room but there was nothing there. All that could be heard was manic laughing echoing around the room then nothing.

"NOOOOO!" Dean shouted as he looked around.

Dean's eyes bolted open and he gasped as he looked around the room. "Sammy!" he said as he glanced down and frantically pulled back the covers revealing his younger brother safely sleeping beside him.

Sammy murmured something in his sleep and rolled from his side onto his back.

He put a hand on his baby brother's chest and felt it rise and lower with each of his deep sleep filled breaths. He did a quick check of his body and was relieved to find no wounds. Sammy was here, safe and unharmed.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to calm down. He rested his head back down on the pillow and took deliberate slow breaths. "It was only a nightmare. Just a nightmare," he whispered to himself over and over.

He was almost completely calmed down when the door slowly creaked open. Dean opened his eyes and looked at it as it opened bit by bit expecting to see Pastor Jim or Caleb checking on them. The door was now half way open but there was no one there. It was completely silent before he heard clicking sounds on the hard wood floor. Dean's breathing sped up.

"Wake up! Wake up!" He said to himself as his eyes widened and he pinched himself. But nothing changed and he knew he couldn't get to the shot gun fast enough.

He did the only thing he could think of. Curling himself around Sammy to protect him Dean closed his eyes and waited for the attack. A moment later something thumped on the bed and he grabbed onto his little brother tighter as his entire body tensed.

Nothing happened for a moment and he was temped to open his eyes but he waited. Something cold touched his ear and then he heard a snuffling sound. Dean's brow curled in confusion as something licked the side of his face.

"Angel," Dean whispered as his entire body relaxed in relief. He moved off Sammy surprised that his younger brother hadn't woken.

Angel moved around the sleeping boy and closer to Dean who had rolled onto his back. She licked at his face a few times before lying down beside him.

Dean slowly petted the sheltie as he waited for his pulse to return to normal. "You almost gave me a heart attack girl."

He lay there for a few moments but he couldn't seem to calm down and he knew there was no way he'd be going back to sleep now.

Slowly he sat up and looked down at his sleeping brother. Sammy had slept through all of Dean's fear filled dreams and hadn't stirred once. Angel got up and moved to the other side of the bed as Dean stood up.

Slowly he made his way out of the room feeling slightly dizzy. He made his way down the stairs and saw Pastor Jim going through the Tai Chi movements. Trying hard not to disturb him Dean waited until he held a pose in the normal rotation of the martial art. Slowly he went past him and eased himself down to sit on the couch. Curling up slightly in the corner he waited for Jim to continue his routine.

The pastor looked over at him in concern and Dean shook his head at him.

"I'm ok, just awake," Dean said softly motioning at the man to continue. Then he closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch thankful that Jim was up, and that he wasn't the only one awake in the early morning quiet.

Jim did two more rotations before he stopped. He cut the routine short but didn't want Dean to know that. "Pretty soon you'll be able to join in with me."

Dean nodded. "Yeah," he said with a slight smile.

"How are you feeling this morning Dean?" Jim asked.

"Fine," Dean said.

Jim tilted his head at him slightly. "Really? You know it's not nice to lie to a pastor. I've got a direct link to the man upstairs," he said with a grin.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Ok. Fine. My shoulder and arm feel like they're on fire."

"Ok. What else?" Jim asked as he took a good look at the boy. Dean looked completely freaked out.

"Nothing else," Dean said quietly shaking his head.

"Dean," Jim said sitting down beside him. "I can tell something is wrong."

The boy sighed. "I had a nightmare is all."

Jim nodded. "Want to talk about it?"

Dean shook his head. "No. I'm good."

"All right," Jim said. "How about I go and get your pain meds?"

"NO!" Dean said and then frowned at his own response. "No, it's ok. I'll come with you."

Jim wasn't sure who was more surprised by the outburst him or the child himself. He smiled at Dean as he stood up. "Sure. Come on. I'll make some breakfast. Is Sammy still sleeping?"

"Yes sir," Dean said softly as he followed the cleric into the kitchen.

0000000000000

Sammy stirred slightly under the blankets that had been tucked snugly around him. He reached out and when his arm felt nothing but a cold bed he opened his eyes in the darkness. Sitting up the little boy reached out feeling for the bedside lamp and turned it on. A soft light fought back the shadows a little as Sammy looked around the room.

"Dean?" he whispered.

Angel lifted her head up off her paws and thumped her tail against the bed. She crawled a little closer towards the boy and stopped as a small whimper escaped the boy.

Sammy felt an all encompassing sadness as he realized his brother wasn't there.

The little sheltie moved herself into a sitting position and tilted her head at him. She leaned down and gave him a slight nudge with her nose against his arm.

Dean hadn't come back after all. His big brother and his daddy were never coming back.

Angel whined softly beside him and then nudged him again.

It had all been a dream. Dean was really dead at the bottom of the mountain. Daddy was in a cave somewhere. They weren't coming back. He was alone, an orphan, just like Caleb. He never remembered his mommy. Now he'd lost his Daddy and his protective older brother.

He felt like he had nothing then something cold and wet ran across his face. Blinking a few times he came face to face with Angel.

"Angel?" he said softly. "Daddy and Dean aren't coming back."

Angel huffed slightly at him before a small growl escaped her.

Sammy frowned at her and then scrunched his eyes closed as she licked his face again. He reached up and wiped the dog slobber off his face. Glancing over at the clock he figured Pastor Jim would be up by now and he should go down and join him. At least he could try and go through the Tai Chi moves even if he didn't feel like it. Dean would expect no less and neither would his daddy.

Slowly the little boy got out of bed and put on some clean sweats. Silently he made his way out of the room and taking it one step at a time he headed down the stairs towards the living room.

Angel went down the stairs taking them two at a time and rushed into the kitchen for breakfast. She slid to a stop on the hardwood floor and she looked around the room. Angel went under the table and nudged Dean's leg to get his attention.

"Hey girl," Dean said as he slipped off his chair and knelt on the floor to pet the dog. "Want some lovin' huh?"

Sammy took a step towards the living room and realized it was empty. Turning he walked towards the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway he glanced around and found Jim cooking something at the stove. Sammy felt the sadness fall heavier on him as he looked towards the table and found it empty. Dean really was gone.

Jim looked up as he sensed movement near the kitchen doorway. "Hey Sleepy. You missed the workout this morning."

Sammy looked up at him with big eyes but didn't say anything. Pastor Jim had woken him every morning to do Tai Chi. Had he been doing it wrong? Dad wouldn't approve of that.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said as he stood up from the other side of the table.

Sammy's face lost all colour as he backed up a step and screamed.

Angel barked and stood in front of Dean for a moment before running toward Sammy.

"Sammy?" Jim said as he quickly moved the skillet off the element and looked around the room for whatever had scared the little boy.

"Sammy?" Dean said and started to move towards him as fast as his injuries would allow. Also glancing around the room looking for whatever had scared the kid.

Sammy stopped screaming as abruptly as he had started. He was panting heavily and extremely pale.

Angel stopped as she stood in front of him and whined then walked a circle around the boy. She whined again as she sat down.

Dean paused at the side of the table and held onto it. He'd stood up too fast and now the room was spinning. He had to get to his baby brother but the room wouldn't seem to even out enough for him to walk. "Sammy what's wrong?"

For a second Sammy just stood there in shock and stared as he realized that his brother was there. He was really and truly there and looking at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"Sammy?" Dean said softly holding onto one of the chairs for support as the room threatened to fall away from him. "Come on man you're scaring us here. What's wrong little man?"

An overpowering relief filled him almost bringing him to tears. Dean was actually there. Right there no more than a few feet in front of him.

Suddenly he felt like Dean was too far away and he was overwhelmed with a need to actually touch his brother to make sure he was really and truly there. He needed reassurance that this wasn't a dream and that he wouldn't wake up alone in the room upstairs.

Any caution that had remained to be careful around his brother from earlier was completely gone and Sammy was running full boar at his brother.

"Sammy wait!" Jim yelled but it was too late.

Dean's eyes opened wide as he realized he wasn't going to be able to stop his little brother. "Stop!" he yelled a split second before his little brother ploughed into him and tackled him to the ground.

He couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped as he hit the floor. His shoulder felt like it had exploded and his head hit with a decisive crack. A wave of pain seemed to run through his entire body. A second later his arms came around his shaking younger brother.

Jim was making his way over to the boys but was almost bowled over by Caleb who sprinted into the kitchen holding out a very large bowie knife in front of him.

"Sammy!" Caleb shouted as he looked around the kitchen looking for the danger. When he didn't see any he spared a glance at Jim before looking wildly around the room. "Where is it?"

Jim stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "There's no danger son," he said then waited for Caleb to look at him before pointing at the two boys on the floor.

Caleb looked at them for a moment then looked over at Jim. "What the?"

Jim shrugged and shoved past him slightly. "Dean? Sammy?" he said softly as he knelt down beside the boys.

Sammy's arms were wrapped tightly around his older brother, his eyes were closed and his head was buried in his brother's chest.

Dean lay there holding onto his brother and tried to work his way though the pain. His head hurt, his ears were ringing, he was having trouble breathing with his brother wrapped around him so tightly and his shoulder felt like it had broken glass in it. He grimaced at the overwhelming sensations and then tightened his grip around Sammy.

Jim put his hand on Sammy's back then pulled back as the boy whimpered. "Hey Sammy it's ok. It's just me."

Dean gasped as his little brother tightened his hold around him. "Sammy," he wheezed. "Let up man."

Sammy just held on as if his life depended on it.

After putting the knife down on the counter Caleb knelt on the other side of the boys. Gently he put a hand on Sammy's head. "Sammy? Hey little one you need to not hold Dean so tightly, remember?"

Jim was watching Dean not liking his colour. "Dean can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Dean whispered.

"You ok?" Jim asked almost wincing at the ridiculous question.

Dean opened an eye slightly and looked at the man.

Jim smiled at the slight glare shot his way and shrugged slightly.

"Sammy? Hey look at me," Caleb said his entire attention on the littlest boy. "I need you to let go of Dean so he can get up."

Dean groaned slightly as Sammy held on tighter. "Geez Sammy. I'm right here. Not going anywhere little man."

Dean opened his eyes fully and blinked several times trying to get his vision to come into focus. "Help us up," he whispered.

"No way. Sammy let him go, now," Caleb ordered quickly losing patience.

Sammy's only response was a muffled whimper.

"Easy Caleb," Jim said softly. "He's spooked enough."

"S'ok. Just help me up. I don't think he's gonna let go," Dean said softly as he closed his eyes.

Caleb frowned and looked over at the cleric.

"It will hurt," Jim said.

"Already does," Dean whispered. "Just get me up."

Jim frowned but moved forward and took hold of Dean's injured shoulder. He looked over at Caleb who hadn't moved. "Caleb," Jim said softly.

Caleb tore his eyes away from Sammy and looked at Jim.

"Just do it son," he said softly not liking the storm of emotions in Caleb's eyes.

Caleb looked away quickly and gently took a hold of Dean's upper arm. "On three," he said softly.

"One, two, three," Jim said softly as they lifted Dean up off the floor.

Caleb cursed himself for every whimper that escaped Dean. He helped get Dean to his feet then as soon as Jim had them steady he let go.

"I'm going to move you two to the couch, ok?" Caleb said.

Dean nodded and winced as Sammy clenched his fists in his shirt catching some of his skin along with the shirt. "Go Caleb," he whispered knowing he'd have a hard time standing the way his little brother was hanging off of him.

Caleb picked them both up and carefully walked them into the living room trying not to hurt Dean any more than he already was. Gently he eased them down onto the couch.

Dean was panting slightly to contend with the pain.

"Dean what can I do?" Caleb asked knowing Jim was slightly behind him.

"Leave us," Dean said quietly.

"Dean I don't think," Jim started.

"Sammy's hasn't been this scared in quite some time," Dean said cutting the pastor off as he winced in pain. "He won't talk if anyone else is around."

Caleb frowned not liking the idea of leaving them alone.

"All right Dean. We'll be in the kitchen. Holler when you need something," Jim said softly then placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Come on Caleb. Let's let them work this out."

Caleb looked like he wanted to protest but followed his father into the kitchen.

The room was quiet for a few moments before Dean could feel the pain begin to subside and the ringing in his ears diminished. Opening his eyes he tried to look at his brother but Sammy had his face completely buried in his shirt.

"Hey Sammy?" Dean said running a hand slowly up and down his back. "Hey look at me."

Sammy's only response was to shake his head against Dean's chest.

"Sammy I can't help fix this unless you talk to me. And it's just you and me. Everyone else including Angel are in the kitchen," Dean said softly.

Sammy didn't say anything but his grip began to loosen it's hold enough for Dean to breathe easier.

"Hey that's good Sammy. If you don't want to talk maybe I could guess?" Dean asked but his little brother remained motionless. He took a deep breath giving Sammy time to respond.

"Is it Dad? Are you scared that he won't come back?" Dean asked and waited for some kind of sign that his brother was listening but he got nothing. He realized that when he did hit on the idea that Sammy's grip would tighten around him.

"Ok so you're not worried about Dad. Which is good cause I told you not to worry about him so you actually listened to me," Dean said and paused. "Are you upset cause we haven't opened presents yet?" he asked as he looked at the Christmas tree and all the presents wrapped up underneath it.

Sill Sammy was quiet and Dean sighed. He had absolutely nothing. It couldn't be about him cause he was right here. "Jesse? Is that it kiddo? You're worried about Jesse?"

Sammy finally shook his head. He shifted his position so that he was lying next to his brother with his head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around him.

Dean looked down at him and watched him for a moment. The little one seemed to be almost mesmerized by the lighted tree. Then his gaze moved back towards the dining room table and then returned back to the tree. Sammy had looked at the spot where he'd passed out Christmas morning. Dean's heart sank slightly. Maybe this was about him.

"Sammy are you upset about me?" Dean asked softly.

The nod was so slight that Dean almost missed it.

"I'm right here," he said.

"But you weren't," Sammy whispered. "You were dead. I saw."

"Sammy I'm here. I'm alive. You're head's lying right over my heart. Can't you hear it beating?" Dean said.

"In the snow. I saw," he barely whispered. "They said it was a dream. But it felt real. Cold."

Dean reached up and pulled the blanket that was over the back of the couch and covered them with it.

"No. The snow was cold. The wind was … hard. It hurt my face," Sammy said and looked up with frightened eyes at his brother. "You were at the bottom of the mountain. You were dead."

A shiver ran through Dean even as he shook his head. There was no way his little brother could be psychic, right? "I didn't die Sammy. I'm right here. Do you know why?" he said as he gazed down into watery eyes.

Sammy nodded. "You had to get help for Daddy and Jesse."

"Well yes but that's only part of it. I needed to get back to you," Dean said softly. "The world's best pain in the ass little brother that there ever was. I needed to make sure you were ok."

Sammy looked up at him and sniffled. "Don't leave again Dean. Promise you won't leave," he said sounding desperate.

Dean smiled down at him. "I'm not going anywhere," he said as he held up his hand sticking his pinky up in the air. "Pinky swear."

Sammy looked at his hand for a moment before letting go and hooking his pinky with his brother's. "Pinky swear."

"Now then," Dean said sternly. "Sit up 'cause my ass and parts of my legs are numb."

Sammy smiled slightly and sat up turning serious. "Sorry Dean."

Dean furrowed his brow. "Sorry? For what?"

The youngest boy sighed. "I hurt you. I forgot cause I was scared and I tackled you. Caleb said tackling you was not allowed. It would hurt you and I was trying so hard not to hurt you and I did anyway and I'm sorry and I won't do it again I promise and…"

"Sammy!" Dean said stopping the barrage of words being flung at him. "I'm ok now. Just no more tackling, ok?"

Sammy nodded.

000000000000


	27. Day 24 December 28th part 2

-1**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and it's characters do not belong to me. They belong to the CW, WB, and others. Anything that you recognize also does not belong to me. But I swear that Angel is mine!!

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to Lynxlan for the beta. Well it's not the next day but a faster post this time. Hope all you readers out there are still enjoying this. Slight language in this chapter. If you blink you might miss it.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 24 part 2 afternoon**

Dean was sitting on the couch staring at the T.V. but he wasn't really watching it. He'd been there for a good part of the day, ever since his little brother's panic attack that morning. When he had gotten up once or twice Sammy had been right behind or beside him, determined not to let his brother out of his sight. Dean had to pry his fingers off his shirt just so he could use the washroom and get a small amount of privacy.

While he didn't mind Sammy being underfoot or soothing away his fears, the silence was something else. Sammy was always asking questions or talking non stop. But he hadn't said a word since his apology for the tackle. It was scary and a little unnerving.

But what was even more frightening was the fact that Sammy knew about his fall from the mountain. The way his little brother had explained his nightmare was too close to the actual events on the hunt, too close to be a coincidence. Were they that connected that Sammy had felt his terror and seen everything through his "nightmare"? Was it actually a nightmare or some kind of vision?

Dean shook his head at his internal monologue. No, he didn't think so. Sure half the time he knew when Sammy was about to get into mischief, but that was just well placed knowledge about his younger sibling, right?

Sammy couldn't be psychic because that would mean he was a supernatural being and Dad hunted beings with that type of power. His little brother who was sweet, caring, and loving could never be like the things that Dad hunted. He wouldn't, couldn't believe that.

Dean would have to be more vigilant in watching over Sammy and keeping him safe. He'd have to get Sammy to tell him more of what he dreamed about. Just to be on the safe side. Because keeping Sammy safe was more important than anything. So important that he would keep the nightmare from his father so Sammy would remain safe. He had to keep it quiet just as a precaution because he wasn't sure how his father would react to that little piece of information.

It wasn't that he was afraid of being struck by the man. His father had never hit or spanked himself or Sammy, even when Dean figured they deserved it. In truth their father didn't even have to yell. One particular look and a few softly spoken words seemed to work more than well enough.

He was afraid that his father would take Sammy away. He'd just had a taste of life without his little brother around him and he hadn't liked it at all.

If he put the right spin on the nightmare it shouldn't be a problem. He hoped his little brother would forget about the dream. With a heavy heart Dean already knew that neither one of them would forget the last couple of weeks.

Sighing heavily he looked away from the T.V. and down to his brother. Sammy had fallen asleep about a half hour ago with his head resting on Dean's shoulder and one arm wrapped around his stomach gripping his t-shirt tightly. He was frowning in his sleep and Dean could see the exhausted boy's eyes moving behind his eyelids. A quiet whimper came out of him and Dean's heart clenched slightly at the almost mournful sound.

"Shhh Sammy. You're safe. I'm here. Everything's ok," Dean said softly and gently ran his hand through Sammy's hair careful not to let the cast touch his brother. He knew that a slight touch from something foreign would instantly wake his little brother. The dark bags under Sammy's eyes were a testament of how much sleep the little one needed.

Angel lay next to the couch her head resting on her paws. As Dean glanced over at her the little dog raised her head and wagged her tail at him. She panted slightly and Dean always thought she looked like she was smiling when she did that. He wondered for a moment if there was any way he could smuggle her into the car. He'd always wanted a dog of his own and Angel was already trained.

Angel whined softly as if she could hear his thoughts.

Movement out of the corner of his eye broke him out of his quiet musings and he looked towards the kitchen as Caleb walked towards them.

"Got your meds," he said softly. "I see Sammy crashed."

Dean took the meds the older teen held out for him. "Thanks," he said just above a whisper not wanting to wake his little brother.

"What set him off anyway? I've never seen him like that before," Caleb said as he sat in the recliner.

Dean frowned. "I have once before."

"Yeah? When was that?" Caleb asked.

"Last year I think it was. Dad was hunting a shifter or a black dog," Dean said and paused. "I'm not sure which. We were in the middle of nowhere just inside the Nebraska border near Colorado and Kansas. Everything seemed to be fine. Well normal for us except for I'd been grounded which meant that Sammy got grounded by default."

"How did you get grounded?" Caleb asked. Dean was the freakin poster child of good behaviour, good little soldier and babysitter all wrapped into one.

"I got mad about something and disappeared on Dad and Sammy while we were shopping at this store that was huge and sold everything," Dean said and shrugged. "I knew exactly where they were the entire time. Anyway grounding meant absolutely no T.V. and no radio. When I get grounded I have to clean the motel room and after that my only choices are to go to bed or study the books he leaves out."

"I don't get it. I mean the T.V. yeah I get that, but the radio?" Caleb asked.

"He does it on purpose 'cause I really hate the quiet. Anyway I put Sammy to bed I brought out the Latin book that Dad said I had to study and put on the radio. I could've put it on earlier but Sammy hadn't learned exactly what a secret was yet," Dean said sighed.

"I'll bet he knows now, huh?" Caleb asked

Dean smiled slightly as he nodded then the smile faded and his face darkened. "Anyway we were staying in Tornado Alley and needless to say a tornado swept through the town and destroyed it. There wasn't much of anything left standing. They said it was only a F3, but it felt like the world was ending. Dad wasn't there and we could've died."

"You're father wasn't there?" Caleb asked hoping he hadn't heard right.

"Hunting dude. The whole reason we were there," Dean said as he gave Caleb an incredulous look and his best "duh" tone. Then his look and voice softened. "It scared Sammy so much that he clung to me, worse than this, and just stared straight ahead. Sometimes he whimpered but most of the time he was just quiet. Except when someone would try and pick him up, then he would scream. Even when Dad tried to pick him up and it seemed like he screamed the loudest then."

Caleb wanted to say something to comfort the boy but nothing came to mind. He shook his head and sighed. "Your father expects too much," he said flatly.

Dean's eyes flared with anger. "Dad does the best he can with what we've got. He loves us and looks after us. It may not be normal but it's all we got," he said in a very low tone.

"Well yeah. Of course he loves you guys. I just meant he has a funny way of showing it is all," Caleb said.

Dean just glared at him in response.

Caleb sighed. "Look Dean I didn't mean to upset you dude, I just thought that your first hunt would be a salt and burn. Kinda like mine was."

Sammy whimpered in his sleep and shifted against Dean.

Dean looked away from Caleb and down at Sammy. Sighing slightly at the tenseness of his little brother he slowly rubbed his back until the little boy relaxed.

"Damnit Dean. You were too young. I was too young when your Dad took me out on my first hunt and I lost it pretty much after the adrenaline had run out. At least by then we were back here and Jim dealt with me. I shudder to think what your father would've done with me had he seen me cry and get all girly," Caleb said angrily

"Don't talk about him like that Caleb. You don't understand," Dean said softly.

"Oh yeah? Care to explain it then Dean? Because right now the only thing I wanna do to your Daddy is to knock some sense into him," Caleb said as he tried to control his anger.

Dean looked away from Caleb feeling the older teen's anger and while he agreed with him he had to defend his father. "Dad doesn't know any other way," he said as Sammy moved against him again.

"What? Dean the man is hardly around. How is that a _way_?" Caleb asked incredulously. "Christ dude no offence but you're only nine years old. You should be going to school, playing a pick up game of football in a park near your house and hanging out with your friends. Instead you have a nomadic lifestyle where you live out of motels and spend the day looking after your younger brother."

Dean swallowed heavily. He wanted all of that more than almost anything. The perfect picture would be having his mom back and his father happy again. He pursed his lips together and squeezed his eyes shut just for a moment. He would not lose it especially with Sammy beginning to wake up. "Shut up Caleb," he whispered. "Just shut up."

"Dean?" Sammy asked sleepily. "What's wrong. Are we in trouble again?"

"No Sammy. Everything's ok. Just go back to sleep," Dean said as he rested his cheek on the top of Sammy's head and slowly began to rock side to side.

"It's cold," Sammy said snuggling closer to his big brother.

Dean reached around him and pulled the blanket up around him. "You'll warm up quickly. Go back to sleep Sammy."

"Hmm kay," Sammy said softly as he tightened his hold around his big brother.

When his breathing had evened out again Dean stilled his movements and lifted his head. Staring at Caleb with slightly watery eyes he swallowed heavily again and forced back the tears before they could fall. "Nothing matters except for Sammy. Keeping him safe and happy. I remember normal but he never will. We didn't chose this life and neither did Dad. This happened because mom was killed. If Dad has to destroy it in order to be happy again then we'll destroy it."

"Yeah but," Caleb started.

Dean smiled slightly and shook his head as he held up a hand to stop Caleb.

"Can't argue with a drill sergeant Caleb," he said softly. "If you do you just end up doing laps."

Caleb rolled his eyes at the boy. "He should be a father Dean not a drill sergeant."

Dean looked away as his smile slowly left his face. "At least he's predictable this way. And I know what's expected of me."

"Dude this is way messed up," Caleb said. "Don't suppose we could talk your Dad and Jim into letting you stay here? At least until you're out of school."

"Nah. Sides who'd watch Dad's back?" Dean asked.

"It just shouldn't be you," Caleb said as he stood up. "Dean you look exhausted. Try to get some sleep, ok?"

Dean shook his head. "What if Dad calls? What if he's in trouble? What if," he started.

"Dean," Caleb said. "I'm sure your father is fine. If he calls I'll wake you, all right?"

Dean was quiet for a minute then sighed. "Yeah ok," he said then yawned.

Caleb started to walk out of the room, but Dean reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Can I stop taking the meds soon?" Dean asked softly.

"I don't think so. The doc said you had to finish the entire prescription. Why?" Caleb asked as he hunched down in front of the boy.

"They make me dizzy and I feel sick," Dean said.

"You need to hurl?" he asked.

"No. Just feels like it," Dean said. "And they make me tired. Please Caleb. I can't watch out for Sammy feeling like this."

"I'll talk to Jim and see what we can do. Now close you're eyes and get some sleep. I won't be far Dean, ok?" Caleb said.

Dean nodded and hated the fact that he felt better that Caleb would be around. "Thanks," he said then rested his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Caleb stood up and took the throw blanket that was over the recliner and put it over both boys. As he turned he saw Jim leaning in the door way of the kitchen frowning and looking angry. The nineteen year old sighed and slowly walked towards him.

"He shouldn't need to defend his father to you Caleb," Jim said softly.

Caleb sighed again. "I know Dad. I just," he said and paused as he looked for the right words.

"They do not walk a normal path son. None of us do. Yes it's harder on them because they're children," Jim said. "This lifestyle is hard on everyone who fights the darkness."

"They're just children," Caleb whispered. "They deserve more. Much more."

Jim nodded. "That may be but it's not our call. They're John's sons and John will bring them up the best way he can."

"I know. I just hate what it's done to Dean," he said as they headed into the kitchen.

Jim poured two cups of coffee and joined Caleb at the table. "Caleb I tried my best to give you some normal things in your life when you came to stay with me. But I believe that I did not do enough for you."

"Sure you did. I had the important things… Like a roof over my head, food on the table, friends…"

Jim nodded. "Yeah you did. You also had extensive hours of training, schooling on top of your normal education and a rather harsh introduction to the darkness that stalks this world. But if I remember correctly the friendships you did have didn't last long, did they? You remember why?"

Caleb sighed and sat back in his chair. "Sure. The only time I got to see them was when I was in school. I couldn't do anything outside of school."

"So you couldn't play a pick up game of football or baseball down at the park. Or join school groups or teams, right?" Jim pressed.

Taking a drink of his coffee Caleb considered his words. "Yeah but I didn't feel like I missed out on anything."

"You had a normal life longer than Dean had. Why didn't you feel like you were missing out?" Jim asked.

Caleb put his coffee down on the table and stared into the dark brew. "I wanted to stop the pain. Learning to fight helped some," he said just above a whisper.

Jim nodded. "Dean may have been only four years old when his whole world changed but he remembers everything that he's lost. He remembers the friends that he played with and his parents in a happier time. I think he would agree with me that the man he calls Dad is a different man than before. I'm sure that he'd give or do absolutely anything to have his mother here with them," he said and paused as Caleb looked up with him with pain filled eyes.

"That pain that eats at you every day is the same pain that Dean feels. I think it's why he'll open up and tell you what's wrong. In case you missed it he won't talk to anyone else. He looks up to you son and I believe that he trusts you the most because you lost everything as a child just like he did. Don't alienate him by making him defend his father or he may stop talking to you too," Jim cautioned gently.

Caleb clenched his eyes closed as he tried to push back the memory of his parents dead in their room. "I screwed everything up," he whispered.

"No I don't believe you have," Jim said. "Just don't push him any farther or at some point he will hide all his feelings so deep inside of himself that he will be lost for good. We won't have Dean the strong protective little boy anymore but am empty shell of a child playing the good soldier instead."

"He should be just a little boy," Caleb whispered.

"Yeah I know," Jim said softly.


	28. Day 25 December 29th

**Disclaimer:** By now the awful truth must have set in somewhere. I, in no way shape or form, own the Winchesters, Pastor Jim or anything recognizable in the following story. If you recognize it - it's soo not mine. Sigh.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you for your patience while I got myself sorted out. There will be two more chapters after this which I have already mapped out. Just need the time to get them written properly and I'm hoping to do that this weekend. Sorry for the wait on this story.

Thanks to lynlxan for the beta. Any errors found are totally mine. Also a shout out to Jess for the encouragement. Lastly thanks goes out to my chiropractor for without him I would still be typing up page 2.

Also just to clarify there is Latin spoken at some point during the day. The English translation comes right after it in bold type. Guess I should also point out that I have no clue on how to speak Latin. I used a free on line translation service so for those of you who know Latin I hope it's correct. Oh and it's long with slight language.

I hope the wait was worth it.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 25 December 29**

Sammy found himself standing in icy snow. The place looked familiar like he'd been there before but he couldn't quite place it. His eyes danced over the cold white landscape as he wrapped his small arms around himself to fight the shivers that racked his tiny frame.

A small amount of pebbles and fine snow rained down at the base of the mountain next to him. He glanced up to see where they had come from and his eyes widened in horror as he watched Dean tumble uncontrollably down the mountain towards him. He stared in shock as his brother hit the ground hard and roll twice before finally stopping face down in the snow just a few feet away.

For a few minutes he stood there, heart pounding in his chest, frozen where he stood with all consuming fear for his brother.

"Dean?" Sammy whispered as he waited for movement, noise or some kind of sign that Dean was alive. When nothing happened the young boy started to shake his head slowly back and forth. No his brother couldn't be dead. Dean told him many times that he'd never die, he'd never leave his little brother. Dean had promised him. So he had to be ok. Dean was always ok. He even said so.

"Move or say something," he said softly still frigid with fear where he stood.

When his brother didn't move his heart seemed to pound even harder, so hard it felt like it was going to burst right out of his chest.

"Dean!" he shouted his young panicked filed voice the only sound in the stark snowy wilderness.

He tried to shake off the fear and get to his brother but nothing happened. "Please don't die Dean. Please," the young boy whispered.

Sammy paled as he watched a white monster drop effortlessly down from somewhere above and slowly, carefully began to walk towards Dean as if he was stalking him. As he watched he felt his fear melt away. Slowly, as if stoked by a fire, a white hot anger filled him. This _thing_ had hurt his big brother, his daddy and Jesse. He wasn't about to let this _thing_ do it again.

"HEY!" Sammy shouted will all his might. "Don't you touch him! HEY!"

The white beast stilled it's careful movements and sniffed at the air as it turned towards the voice.

"I won't let you hurt him again!" Sammy yelled as he quickly reached down and made an ice filled snowball. He threw it and as it hit the beast on the back of its head Sammy was leaning down again making another snowball.

The beast roared in anger and surprise. As it turned to take on the next threat another ice snowball hit him in the face.

"Take that you freak!" Sammy yelled feeling like it was appropriate Dean-like comment as he made a third icy snowball and heaved it again at the monster in front of him.

The beast swatted the snowball away and took a step towards Sammy. As he opened it's mouth to roar another snowball flew hitting it directly in it's open mouth and lodged towards the back of it's throat. Followed shortly by an ice filled snowball to it's eye. The beast paused as it clawed at it's throat slightly with one paw and his eye with the other. Suddenly it was climbing up the side of the mountain away from the perceived threat.

Sammy watched it for a second to make sure it was actually gone. As he lost sight of it he tried to take a step and found his legs were working again. He ran to his wounded brother and fell to his knees beside him.

"Dean?" he whispered as he saw the claw marks and a mix of dried and fresh blood on his jacket.

With shaking hands Sammy pulled Dean onto his back. He paled at the myriad of bruises, cuts and blood. He pulled his hands off his brother and saw his hands were coated in blood. Swiftly he pulled off his batman pyjama top, balled it up slightly and pressed it against an open bleeding wound.

"Dean? Can you hear me? You havta wake up! I don't know what to do!" Sammy yelled at him. His anger was completely gone and fear had replaced it. "Please wake up Dean. _Please_!"

Tears began to fall as Sammy realized that the top was already soaked with his brother's blood. It spilled from the wound and the saturated material staining the snow crimson.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered.

"Dean?" Sammy said and waited for his brother to open his eyes but nothing happened. His big brother was out cold. "Dean."

As Sammy began to shake Dean in an attempt to wake him a shadow fell over them. Fear and dread filled the youngest Winchester. Looking over his shoulder he saw the white monster had returned. It was right behind him and slowly getting closer with each passing second.

Frantically the young boy looked around him looking for something, anything to defend himself and his big brother. But there was nothing around them except powdery snow.

Swallowing heavily Sammy leaned over Dean doing the only thing he could think of to protect him.

"I'm sorry Dean," he whispered. And he was sorry that he couldn't protect him like his older brother always protected him. Sorry that they were going to die because he didn't want to die.

He tensed and clenched his eyes shut as he waited for the monster to attack them. Seconds later white hot pain seared across his back and ribs as the white snow monster slashed a claw over his back. Sammy screamed as he opened his eyes.

0000000000000

Sammy's eyes bolted open, his heart was racing, his breath was coming in sharp gasps and the last of his dream scream echoed in his ears. Spent tears had made his cheeks wet as he'd slept.

Without moving he looked around the night-light lit room looking for the white beast. As the fuzziness of sleep slipped away he realized that he wasn't freezing and that he was inside. Dean was right there with an arm wrapped around him. Sammy had his head resting against his older brother's chest and he could hear a heart beat beneath his ear.

Relief filled him as he told himself that it was just a dream. Dean had returned from the snowy mountain just like he promised he would. But no matter how many times he told himself that he couldn't seem to stop the silent tears or calm his racing heart.

He glanced at the clock and found that it was just after three. Dean wouldn't be waking any time soon, nor would anyone else.

Sammy tightened his hold around Dean and held onto him as if his life depended on it. He would have to find a way to keep his brother from hunting. Dean had only been wounded this time but what about the next hunt?

He looked up as Dean whimpered and murmured in his sleep. Dean's face was drawn and his eyes were moving wildly behind his eye lids. Sammy listened carefully and realized that his big brother's heart was racing, just like his own was.

Sammy watched for a moment to see if the dream would pass, but it didn't. In fact it seemed to get worse. Slowly so he didn't disturb Dean he pulled himself up a little. Gently he reached out and ran a hand through his brother's hair just like his big brother had done countless times for him. Finally Dean seemed to settle. His face relaxed and his eyes stopped moving wildly behind his eye lids.

Dean sighed softly. "Sammy?"

Sammy didn't say anything just scooted down a little in the bed and put his head back onto his big brother's chest.

"You ok?" Dean asked sleepily.

Sammy nodded against Dean's chest.

"Kay," Dean murmured as he wrapped an arm back around his little brother and fell back asleep.

Sammy lay there studying the shadows in the room for a while as he listened to his brother's calm deep breathing. A while later he stopped fighting the pull of sleep and closed his eyes.

0000000000000

Dean slowly woke up and he blinked in the slightly lit room. Sammy had his arm wrapped tightly around him and he glanced down to look at his baby brother to find that he was already awake.

"Mornin Sammy," Dean said sleepily around a yawn. "How long have you been awake?"

Dean brought a hand up and rubbed at one of his eyes as he waited for a response. When none was forth coming he sighed inwardly. He would have to bring an end to this as soon as possible. Dad would not be pleased if he found a mute and unresponsive son.

"Ok little man time to get up," Dean said as he struggled to sit up and pull his little brother's grip off of him at the same time. "Go pick out something to change into."

Sammy reluctantly let go and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and slowly made his way over to the dresser.

Dean watched him as he opened the drawer and look down at the contents. He wasn't going to enjoy this. He cleared his throat. "Some time today Sammy. Shirt, pants, shorts, socks."

Sammy looked up from the clothes to his brother with a blank look on his face.

The older boy shook his head. It was too early for this. "Ok fine," he mumbled as he stood up and went over to the dresser. He reached in and pulled out jeans, a sweatshirt, socks and shorts then handed them to his little brother. "Change into these."

Sammy took the clothes and dropped them onto the bed then looked over at Dean.

Dean pulled out some clothes for himself. He joined Sammy at the bed and put his clothes down. Pulling off his shirt that he'd slept in and realized that his little brother wasn't getting changed.

"Your choice little man. Get changed or go around in your sleep clothes. But I ain't changing you," Dean said and held back a hiss of pain as he pulled his shirt on a little faster than he meant too. "We're going downstairs as soon as I'm dressed. So get a move on."

Sammy looked down at the clothes on the bed and slowly began to remove his shirt. Ten minutes later Dean was sitting on the bed as Sammy finally pulled on his last sock.

"Hungry?" Dean asked as he stood up and sighed as his brother just looked up at him. He sat down on the floor in front of him. "Look little man you need to start using your words, ok? You need to start talking to me. I know that the last little while has been scary for you. But I'm here and I'm not going anywhere for a while."

Sammy blinked back at him.

"Sammy I know you can hear me in there so here's what's going to happen. You have to start talking to me and everyone else. If you need something or want something you will have to use your words. You wanna eat you have to ask for it. I don't care what it is, but you have to ask for it. You want to colour or play you need to tell me," he said softly. "Now then. We are going downstairs."

Dean stood up and waited for his little brother to stand. When he did he walked out of the room and headed downstairs.

"Morning Caleb," Dean said as he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Hey Dean, Sammy. Breakfast?" Caleb asked from where he was leaning up against the counter drinking a coffee and reading the paper.

"Yes thanks Caleb. I'll have a bowl of Lucky Charms please," Dean said politely looking pointedly at his baby brother.

Caleb nodded and put down the paper. "Two bowls of lucky charms coming right up," he said.

Dean shook his head slightly. "No Caleb. _I_ would like a bowl of Lucky Charms please. Sammy will have to tell you what he wants for breakfast," he said still looking at his brother.

Sammy looked over from where he was watching Caleb to his brother.

"Where's Pastor Jim?" Dean asked looking away from his brother's hurt expression to Caleb's confused one.

Caleb looked from Dean to Sammy and back to the older brother. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"We've been through this before. Sammy knows that if he wants something he has to speak up," Dean said with a shrug.

Sammy began to pout and tears began pooling at the corner of his eyes.

Dean looked over to his brother who was sitting next to him and strengthened his resolve. He was doing this for Sammy's benefit. His little brother had to get over this and he had to get this done before his father got home.

"The water works won't work Sammy, but the pout's a nice touch," he said then took a deep breath. "You want breakfast ask for it."

Sammy looked away from his brother as he rested his arms on the table and rested his head on them.

"Dean can I speak to you?" Caleb said. "In the living room."

"Sure Caleb," Dean said with a lightness he didn't feel. "Don't leave that chair Sammy. I'll be right back."

Sammy's head whipped up and he stared at Dean with wide scared eyes.

"Dude don't panic. I'm going to be right over there whispering at Caleb about you. You'll be able to see me the entire time," Dean said as he tried to calm Sammy.

Sammy shook his head almost violently and reached out grabbing his older brother's shirt.

Dean sighed heavily. "It's ok Sammy. What is it Caleb? I mean we could go over there but he'd just follow."

"Dean your little brother is traumatized. How can you treat him this way?" Caleb demanded.

"Cause it worked before. Dad only tolerated the silence for so long before he told me to deal with it and went on another hunt. It was just after the um," Dean paused as looked down at Sammy then back to Caleb. He couldn't say the word. He didn't want to chance another freak out by his little brother. Even today when Sammy heard the word tornado he would go quiet and follow Dean around like he was his shadow. He scrunched up his face as he tried to think of the correct spelling. "Ah… T-o-r-n-a-d-o."

Caleb just looked at him trying to hold back his anger. But if he wasn't certain before he was absolutely positive now. John was an asshole. "How long?"

"How long what?" Dean asked shrinking back slightly and holding his little brother closer. Caleb was seething. His tone was dripping with anger and as he'd never seen the older boy this angry before he wasn't sure what he would do.

"How long until he started to eat again?" Caleb growled out.

"Couple of hours. Then he was hungry enough to ask for lunch," Dean said. He hated this but it was the only thing that he knew would work.

Caleb looked like he wanted continue to argue but shook his head. He grabbed a bowl and the box of cereal. Slamming it down on the table he missed the flinch from Dean as he went to the refrigerator for milk.

"I don't wanna do it Caleb," Dean said just above a whisper as Caleb put the milk on the table by the cereal box.

Caleb shook his head and tried to calm himself. "I'm not mad at you Dean. I'm not mad at Sammy. This whole think has sucked from the beginning and there's no way you should have to deal with this. Your father should never have left."

"He must have had a good reason," Dean said softly looking away quickly losing his appetite.

Caleb nodded then sighed heavily as he put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Yeah buddy. I'm sure it was a really good reason."

Dean looked up at him and saw the regret in the older boy's eyes. He felt like he had to say something to make this right, to defend his father for leaving him and his little brother. But his insides hurt more than his actual wounds did but he didn't know how to explain it to anyone least of all his father. How could he explain that he ached to have his father here, to have the man say that it was ok, to be close to him. To feel safe. Instead he was trying so hard to help his little brother feel safe when he felt like any second his whole world would collapse around him.

With one look Caleb seemed to understand and gave him a small smile. "Don't think of even trying to defend your father to me Dean. I know he's a very complex guy. I've seen him protect the weak and battle the unknown without thinking twice about it. But an actual sit down conversation about feelings? Forget it. Doesn't know how. Right?" Caleb said.

"Yeah," Dean said softly loosening his hold on his baby brother.

The kitchen door opened and Jim walked into the room with Angel. He knelt and removed the leash from her collar. Angel licked at his face and then hurried over to Sammy.

"Mornin' everyone. Did you leave me some coffee Caleb?" Jim asked as he removed his jacket and shoes.

"Yeah I did," Caleb said.

Jim poured a cup and turned looking at the solemn faces at the table. "Now why do I feel like I missed something?" the preacher asked.

"Everything's fine," Dean said softly.

Angel nudged at Sammy's leg to get his attention. The youngest boy sighed heavily and rested his arms back on the table. His head slowly rested on his arms. Angel whined at his side and jumped slightly to put her paws on his leg.

"Down Angel," Dean commanded softly. "You know you're not allowed to do that."

Jim smiled slightly as he emptied his grocery bag and placed the morning sweet treat onto a plate and sat down at the table.

"Well now I know why you were gone so long," Caleb said with an appreciative smile. "Man I've been craving one of these. No one make sweet rolls like Becky's Bakery."

"Got that right," Jim said as he watched Caleb snag a sweet roll off the plate and take a bite.

"Well boys come on and dig in. These won't last with Caleb around," Jim said.

Dean grabbed a roll and took a bite. "Man these are good," he said softly. It wasn't often they got treats like this and he would hate it if Sammy missed out on it.

"How is sweet Becky?" Caleb asked.

"Happily married with two children," Jim said with a smile.

"Sammy have some breakfast," Dean said softly giving his little brother a gentle nudge.

Jim watched the interaction and saw the looks of concern of both Dean and Caleb's faces. Something was going on but as usual it looked like Dean had everything covered.

"So anyone call this morning son?" Jim asked then took a sip of his coffee.

"No," Caleb said. "It's been quiet."

Jim nodded. He had been hoping for some kind of word from John but at the same time he wasn't expecting one.

"Sammy?" Jim said softly and waited for the youngest boy to raise his head and look at him. "I haven't done any Tai Chi for a few days. Thought maybe we could do some after breakfast. What do you say?"

"You learned Tai Chi? Hey that's great," Dean said cheerily. "That's something we can do together."

Sammy just sat there and stared at the pastor.

"Answer him Sammy," Dean said softly beside him. "Just say yes or no."

Sammy turned from Jim and looked at Dean. He didn't say anything just looked up at him.

"Sammy what is it? Are you scared?" Dean asked. "You know we're safe here."

Sammy sighed and looked down away from everyone.

"What if I went into the room and watched? Then you wouldn't have to worry where I was," Dean suggested.

Jim frowned at the conversation happening in front of him. He exchanged a concerned glance with Caleb before returning his attention to the two Winchester boys. Sammy had been extremely worried while Dean was gone and his normal demeanour seemed to change from tons of excitable energy to an all encompassing lethargy. But this was different. This was a clingy Sammy that he wasn't sure he had ever seen. Following Dean around with a large amount of big brother hero worship was one thing but no talking and being so clingy was something different all together.

Sammy slipped out of his chair and moved closer to his big brother.

Dean sighed and raised his injured shoulder enough for Sammy to snuggle into him. "Everything's ok Sammy. Really."

Sammy looked up at him and nodded against his chest.

"Ok so was that a yes that you agreed that everything was ok, or are you going to do Tai Chi with Jim?" Caleb asked.

Sammy looked at him from where his head rested against Dean's chest for a moment and then nodded his head.

"Maps! I need freakin maps to have conversations with you two," Caleb grouched good naturedly.

"Well Sammy how about I take that as you would like to join me for Tai Chi," the pastor said softly. "And maybe Caleb and Dean will join us."

"Sure," Caleb said with a shrug as he got up to refill his coffee cup.

"However if you're going to do this Sammy you need to eat something. It'd be a real shame if you missed out on Becky's sweet rolls. They're legendary in town," Jim said.

Sammy looked to the sweet roll sitting on a napkin in front of the chair he had been sitting in then looked up at his brother.

"Go ahead Sammy. Have some breakfast," Dean said.

Sammy looked back to the sweet roll then up at his brother again.

"Oh for heaven sake," Dean said then reached over and pulled the sweet roll closer. With difficulty he pulled Sammy into his lap. "Now eat. Don't make me say it again."

Sammy slowly reached out and took the sweet roll off the napkin. Taking a small bite of the sweet roll a smile spread on his face and he took another bite.

Jim smiled at the young boy finally eating breakfast and seeming to enjoy it. But the best part was the blank stare was gone and a smile brightly lit up his face.

"Please tell me there's more?" Caleb asked.

"On the counter," Jim said. "You might as well bring over the rest of them and the coffee pot."

0000000000000

Later after lunch Jim walked into the living room and turned off the TV.

"Hey!" Caleb protested.

"It was getting to the best part," Dean complained.

"You boys have done nothing but watch the idiot box and I've had enough. This TV will not go on for the rest of the day. Also for the rest of the day the language of choice will be Latin. I expect Dean and Sammy to come out of the afternoon with more knowledge of Latin than they currently know."

"But Sammy doesn't know any Latin at all," Dean said.

"Oh he knows some basics and enough to get his point across should he chose to talk," Jim said to Dean and then turned his attention to Sammy. "I also expect young man that you will utter at least one word of Latin before the day is out. I don't care what it is but I expect something."

"Man," Caleb complained as he stood up.

"Do you have something to say to me Caleb?" Jim asked.

"Um," Caleb said then cleared his throat. "Haud sir." **_no sir_**

"That's better. Now Sammy your crayons are on the table. Caleb I expect you to draw some pictures for him to colour in. I also expect you to discuss tactical manoeuvres with Dean. I also expect that I shouldn't have to threaten hours of monotonous weapons maintenance to keep you three in line?" Jim demanded looking at Caleb.

"Haud sir," Caleb said with a slight smile. **_no sir_**

Jim looked at Dean.

"Agnosco sir," Dean said solemnly.**** **_Understood sir_**

"Good," Jim said and left the room.

"Man," Caleb said softly. "Must be that time of the month."

"Not funny Caleb," Dean said softly as he got up off the couch. "Come on Sammy."

"Don't worry Dean. I have some great words to teach you," Caleb said with a big smile on his face.

Dean looked at him and Caleb smiled at him. "Maybe this could be good," he said as he nodded.

"Am I hearing English out there?" Jim yelled from his study.

Sammy stopped and grabbed his brother's shirt.

"Haud sir," Caleb shouted at him and winked at Dean. **_no sir_**

Dean smiled back at him and looked at Sammy. He slowly pried his little brother's hands off his shirt. "This has to stop little brother," he whispered. Keeping one hand in his he guided Sammy to the table then took the seat beside him.

Caleb sat down at the head of the table and took a blank sheet of paper. He began drawing and Dean and Sammy watched him make a quick picture of a leprechaun.

Dean lifted an eyebrow. "A leprechaun" he asked.

Caleb moved the completed picture in front of Sammy then moved his container of crayons closer.

"A leprechaun. Ego puga unus quondam vos teneo," Caleb said in Latin with an Irish lilt. **I battled one once you know**

Caleb started drawing another picture as he began to weave the tale of his Leprechaun battle in very basics of Latin which was totally outrageous and even Dean knew was untrue. Told for his entertainment and possibly Sammy's depending on how much the younger boy could make out. A few minutes later Sammy had three pictures to colour and the older boys were laughing at Caleb's tale.

Dean looked over to see how Sammy was doing with his colouring and found that he hadn't done any. He reached into the container and held out a crayon. Holding out in front of Sammy he waited for his little brother to look at it.

"Crustulum. Viridis crustulum," he said then put it down on the picture of the leprechaun. **_Crayon. Green crayon_**

Sammy sighed and picked up the crayon.

"Can you say those words Sammy? Crustulum. Viridis crustulum," Dean said and waited for Sammy to repeat the words.

Sammy looked at the crayon, glanced at his brother then started to colour without saying a word.

Dean sighed.

"Rome eram non constructum in a dies. Is mos sermo ut is volo ut," Caleb soothed softly. **_Rome wasn't built in a day. He will talk when he wants to_**

Dean was about to say something but his head shot up and looked towards the kitchen when the kitchen door slammed open.

"What the hell?" Caleb yelled as he jumped up from his chair and started for the kitchen. "Stay there," he ordered as he disappeared into the other room.

Dean stood up and immediately Sammy stood as well stepping close to his brother.

"Help me with him," a strained voice said from the kitchen.

Dean stiffened. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

Caleb returned an instant later with John and a man hunched over in-between them. They were partly carrying and partly dragging the man into the living room.

Dean wrapped his arm around his brother as he realized who it was they were helping. Jesse. It was Jesse that was hanging limply between his father and Caleb as they helped him over to the couch.

Dean started to shake. The room felt like it had dropped twenty degrees. He flashed to Jesse hanging on the cave wall. Bloody and cold. Just as suddenly he was brought back to the present. He pulled Sammy in front of him.

"Protect Sammy," he mumbled softly as he watched Caleb and John ease the wounded hunter onto the couch. He started breathing heavy as he flashed back to the cold snowy climb to the cave. "Cold. Too cold," he whispered.

"Get Jim for me will you?" John said softly to Caleb. "It's all right Jesse. We're at Jims. Just rest."

As Caleb moved away Dean got a better look at Jesse. His eyes widened in horror. Jesse's t-shirt had blotches of blood all over it.

"You boys ok?" John asked as he pulled Jesse's shirt and tossed it on the mantle. "Dean? Son answer me."

"Yes sir," Dean answered automatically not hearing himself speak. His eyes widened as he saw different pieces of gauzing that were on Jesse's chest that were now soaked in blood. He turned Sammy around and moved his face so he was looking away from Jesse.

Jim hurried into the room and went directly to the injured man. He spoke quietly with John, so quietly that Dean couldn't hear them. But even though Dean was watching them he was seeing something else, somewhere else.

He was in a cold cave, alone, walking out towards the cold extreme elements. Where he'd failed. He failed to kill the beast. Failed to protect his father and Jesse. His failure causing so much pain for all of them.

He blinked several times and he was back looking at Jim and John's backs as they were hovering over Jesse. Caleb hurried into the room with a bag that Dean knew was full of medical supplies. As Dean watched Caleb pulled out the items that Jim or John asked for. He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the triage happening in front of him but finally Jim nodded and pulled a blanket over Jesse.

For a moment Dean's breath caught in his throat and wondered if that meant that Jesse was dead or if they were just done patching him up for the time being.

John straightened up and ran a hand over his face. He was pale and looked exhausted. Jim murmured a few words at him as he put a hand on his shoulder. John nodded and then looked over to his boys.

Dean couldn't stop staring at Jesse. He couldn't believe the man was there resting on Jim's couch. He's had enough medical training to know that he should be in a hospital where they could deal with his injuries properly.

John moved over to where his boys were. Dean was holding Sammy protectively against him and kept him from seeing the injured hunter. But he was pale and staring at Jesse and wasn't seeing his father coming towards him.

"Dean? Sammy?" he said softly as he walked up to his boys. Neither one acknowledge him and he frowned. He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Hey kiddo."

His frowned deepened as Sammy held onto his brother tighter.

Dean blinked at his dad a few times. "Dad? Shouldn't Jesse be in a hospital?"

John sighed as he crouched in front of his kids. "Most hospitals don't treat people without insurance or money, and they don't treat them when they find out they're using fake insurance. I got him out just before the police arrived."

Dean nodded and looked back at Jesse.

John reached out and pulled his son's face towards him. "Are you and Sammy ok?"

"Yes sir," Dean said.

John smiled at him. "Really son?"

Dean just looked down at him and shrugged slightly as he looked away.

John sighed and looked at his youngest boy. His eyes were clenched shut and his knuckles were holding onto his brother's shirt so tightly they were white. He looked back up at Dean. "What happened to Sammy?"

"He had a bit of a panic attack yesterday," Dean said softly.

"Is he speaking?" John asked.

"No sir," Dean answered.

"Has he eaten?" John asked.

"Interrogating your oldest huh Johnny?" Caleb asked as he sat down at the table. "What a fabulous way to say hello."

"Caleb," John said but whatever else he was going to say got cut off by Dean.

"Only a sweet roll this morning. Not much of anything yesterday," Dean reported.

Jim walked up and stood beside John. "Sammy's just scared John. He'll be ok."

"How are you dealing with this?" John asked ignoring the pastor.

"He has to ask for what he wants or he doesn't get anything sir," Dean said and felt his baby brother's grip tighten around him.

"Good plan," John said softly as he placed his hand gently on Sammy's head. "Hey Sammy. Giving your brother a rough time?"

Sammy opened his eyes and looked at his father.

"Everything's going to be ok. I promise," John said softly.

Sammy blinked at him but still didn't say anything.

John sighed, gave his youngest a slight smile and as started to stand he pulled his hand away from Sammy's head. Before he moved very far Sammy's hand shot out and grabbed John's shirt.

"Sammy," Dean said softly as he tightened his hold slightly.

"We'll be here for a couple of weeks at least Sammy. I'm not going anywhere," John said.

Sammy held on for a few seconds as he stared at his father.

John felt as if they boy was trying to read his mind. It was as if Sammy was trying to figure out if he was going to take off on him again. "Sammy I had to go get Jesse. He was in trouble and I had to bring him back here. I came back as fast as I could. Now we are going to be here for a couple of weeks. All of us. I'm not going anywhere."

Sammy held on for another few seconds and let go. He kept his hand up and held up a small pinky.

John smiled as he glanced at Dean then back down to Sammy. "I pinky swear to you that we'll be here for at least three weeks," he said softly as he linked his large pinky around Sammy's small pinky.

Sammy sighed and pulled his hand back. He leaned back against his big brother as he watched his father straighten up to his full height.

Dean watched his father as well. Somehow he knew that three weeks would be pushing it. His father hated staying in one place for too long. He didn't doubt that he and Sammy would be here for several more weeks but he would be very surprised if his father lasted for more than a week.

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The rest of the afternoon passed somewhat quietly for the boys. Caleb, Dean and Sammy were sent down into the basement with orders to keep quiet.

There wasn't much in Jim's basement. It was an unfinished room that ran the entire length of the house. Pillars lined the middle of the room to give support to the upper levels which cut the room in half. In one half of the room was a worn down comfortable couch against a wall, a bathroom, and bookshelves full of different sized and coloured books. The other side of the room was lined with worn out blue work out mats and different types of weapons on the walls.

Caleb smiled as they came down the stairs and he walked onto one of the blue mats.

"Good times down here, huh?" Dean asked as he and Sammy sat down on the couch.

"Oh yeah. Tai Chi, kickboxing, knife throwing, knife fighting, swords, bow and arrow. Man you name it Jim taught me it down here," Caleb said as he sat down cross legged in front of the boys.

"So what have you been fighting lately? I mean no offence Caleb, but purple and blues are so not your colour," Dean said.

"Badges of honour man and don't you forget it," Caleb said with a smile.

"Oh really? Are you sure a girl didn't give those to you?" Dean teased. "Maybe one of your floosies were just too much for you?"

"Ok. Laugh it up," Caleb said and nodded. "Yeah there was a girl involved and her father gave me some of these. She was sure worth it though."

"Yeah, right," Dean said as he rolled his eyes.

"Well that and a few poltergeists," Caleb said with a shrug.

"A few?" Dean repeated.

Caleb nodded. "So what do you two party animals want to do? Play some poker, oh no wait. No poker with the shark here. Maybe I could play with Sammy."

"Who do you think I play with dumbass?" Dean snarked with a grin.

Caleb shook his head. "You did pretty good with your Tai Chi moves this morning. How about learning some fighting moves?"

Dean thought about it for a minute then nodded. "Sure. Why not?"

Caleb grinned. "All right. Now we're talking. Come on Sammy. You too."

Sammy frowned slightly. He wasn't allowed to learn how to fight yet. Daddy had been very firm about that. He was only allowed to stretch and run around the motel with Dean.

"Come on Sammy. It'll be ok. You should know some defensive moves," Dean said then looked to Caleb. "Can you show him those?"

Caleb nodded as he stood up. "Sure can."

Sammy walked forward and stopped just short of getting onto the mat. He looked at Caleb for a moment then back to Dean. Feeling slightly more comfortable that his brother would be there the whole time he took a deep breath and stepped onto the mat.

"Sammy do you know any fighting moves at all?" Caleb asked.

Sammy turned to look at Dean.

"Take that as a no Caleb. Think of me as his entire defense system," Dean said.

"Ok from the beginning then," Caleb said.

"Easy beginning Caleb," Dean warned. "Dad won't let him do anything but stretches."

Caleb rolled his eyes. "Of course easy Dean. Do you think I'm a complete moron?"

"Is that a trick question?" Dean asked with a smile.

"Smart ass," Caleb said. "Ok Sammy come and stand in front of me."

From just on the blue mat Sammy looked back at his big brother for a moment then looked back at Caleb and slowly walked to him.

"Don't worry little man. I'm not gonna hurt you," Caleb said softly as he ruffled Sammy's hair. "It'll be fun."

Dean watched for a few minutes feeling slightly apprehensive as Caleb showed his little brother some simple deflective techniques. He could see the fear in Sammy's eyes from where he sat on the couch. This just didn't feel right. He was Sammy's older brother and Sammy should be getting training from him. With a sigh he stood up and walked onto the mat.

0000000000000

Jim and John settled at the dining room table. John gazed down into the dark brew before he sighed heavily and took a sip.

"So this is why you took off without a word to any of us?" Jim asked quietly.

John just nodded as he continued staring into his coffee.

"Without any word?" Jim asked.

John shifted position on the wood chair slightly but refused to bring his eyes up to meet the hard gaze coming from the pastor. "Yeah. Looks like."

"John all you had to say was Jesse was in trouble and that you were going to get him. Why the secrecy?" Jim asked.

Forcing himself to raise his head John looked away from the coffee but didn't make it past the papers on the table. Jim knew him well enough to know what had driven him to do this. He didn't say anything just waited patiently for the pastor to begin his lecture.

"Damnit John. Do you have any idea what Dean's been going through? Or how about the abandonment issues Sammy's been having? Caleb or I could have gone for Jesse. What makes you think that you're the only one who could've pulled this of?" Jim demanded as he slammed his fist on the table.

John flinched slightly and brought his eyes up to meet the pastor's. "Because I did this. It was my hunt. I was responsible for him and Dean. I called the hospital and when I spoke to the nurse I knew something was wrong. I had to go."

Jim saw the anguish in the other hunter's eyes and his anger began to wane. "Look John you need to remember that you're not alone in all of this. You do not have to do all of his alone."

"Don't give me the higher power speech Jim. If there was a God I'd still have my Mary," John growled out. "My sons would have a home and wouldn't know about all the evil this world has to offer."

"I learned a long time ago not to give you that speech. I'm talking about me. I'm talking about Caleb. I'm talking about Joshua and Bobby," Jim said in a soft soothing tone.

John closed his eyes and leaned back as he ground the palms of his hands into his eyes. He was tired. So tired and he'd done everything wrong since the beginning of this hunt. His son could've died, hell he almost had. Jesse could've died and he still might. It was all wrong. Everything. Nothing had been right since the night he'd lost Mary.

"John," Jim said softly. "Look you're exhausted and you're not thinking all that clearly. Go up to my room and get some sleep. I'll call you for dinner."

John shook his head and pulled away his hands from his face. "My boys."

"You're boys are fine with Caleb and that wasn't a request," Jim said sternly.

John sat there for a moment before finally nodding and pushing away from the table. "What about Jesse?" He asked.

"I've got Jesse. Now go," Jim said. "Man you're more stubborn than an ornery mule John Winchester."

John smiled at the cleric. "And don't you forget it," he said softly. After taking a moment to check on Jesse he headed up the stairs to get some sleep.

0000000000000

Sammy watched as Caleb slowly attacked his older brother allowing Dean to demonstrate the proper blocking technique. Dean misread one of Caleb's shots and landed hard on his back with a painful hiss. Sammy was there instantly on his knees beside his brother shaking his head.

"Easy Sammy. I'm ok," Dean tried to sooth with his eyes clenched shut at the pain that flared in his shoulder.

Sammy looked up at Caleb with angry accusing eyes. He shook his head again as Caleb knelt on the other side of his big brother. The youngest boy reached over his brother and shoved at Caleb as hard as he could.

"Whoa. Easy Sammy. Dean's ok," Caleb said moving back only slightly.

"Would you two girls get off me? I'm fine. Let me up," Dean groused as he watched the exchange between the two.

Sammy looked from Caleb to Dean and back to Caleb. He wouldn't let Caleb hurt his brother again. Getting up he quickly went around his brother and shoved at the nineteen year old just as he was standing up.

Caleb lurched backwards as he lost his balance. "Hey!"

"Sammy knock it off," Dean said as he struggled to get to his feet. "He didn't even hurt me."

Sammy turned to him and Dean almost stepped back at the seething anger in his baby brother's eyes.

"Sammy what's your problem?" Dean demanded his patience sorely worn thin.

Sammy glanced at Caleb and then back to his brother.

Dean saw the confusion of fear and anger on Sammy's face and he sighed. "Sammy," he started.

Sammy gave his brother a shove as he pushed past him and ran up the stairs.

Dean grabbed his throbbing shoulder and watched his brother leave him alone for the first time in days.

"So what's with him?" Caleb asked.

"I'm not really sure," Dean said as he started for the stairs.

"Dude wait," Caleb said and waited as Dean paused but didn't turn around.

"Maybe he just needs some space," Caleb suggested.

Dean turned. "If that's what you think then you don't know him very well. Sammy needs me. He can't do anything for himself. I know he's scared but I'm not sure of what. I mean the hunt's over and Dad and I are back. I have to make sure he's ok."

Caleb nodded. "Well it's your call. Go get him then. But Dean if you do this you'll be running after him his entire life."

"He's just a little boy who's so scared that he can't tell me what's wrong!" Dean yelled. "And don't you _ever _tell me how to handle my little brother."

Caleb just watched as Dean stormed up the stairs and out of sight. He glanced around the room for a moment as he rocked back and forth on his feet. "And that would max out all the touchy feely crap I can take for one visit."

0000000000000

Dean found Sammy sitting in a corner of their room rocking back and forth slightly. His cheeks were wet as if he'd been crying but he wasn't crying now. Slowly Dean knelt down in front of his brother but was surprised when Sammy tried to move further away from him but there was no where to go.

"What's going on with you little man?" Dean asked softly.

Sammy sniffed once and empty tired eyes looked at his brother. He whispered something and Dean shifted a little closer.

"Sorry Sammy I didn't quite catch that," Dean said just above a whisper.

Sammy pulled his knees up, wrapped his arms around himself and rested his head on his knees.

As Dean watched his little brother curl in on himself he was at a complete loss as to how to help him. He could only fix what he knew about and so far Sammy had been so quiet that he didn't know what to do.

"Dean?" Jim asked from the doorway.

Dean looked over his shoulder.

"What's going on?" the pastor asked.

Dean looked back at his brother. "I - I don't know. He won't talk to me and he always talks to me," he said looking back at him.

Jim came into the room and stood beside Dean. "Hey Sammy?" he said.

After a few moments Sammy raised his head. His face was red, his eyes slightly puffy and his jeans were wet where his silent tears had landed. He looked exhausted and his breath hitched slightly in his chest from crying.

Dean's heart clenched slightly at the sight of his brother's misery.

"Stand up Sam. Now," Jim said not unkindly but in a tone neither boy had heard from the man before.

Sammy blinked a couple of times before doing as he was asked.

"Good. Now then you have two choices. You can talk to Dean or you can talk to me but we have allowed this to go on for far too long. You will not feel better unless you let us know what's wrong," Jim said sternly and then softened his tone. "We can help you Sammy but you have to meet us half way.

Dean stood up as he focused on his little brother.

Sammy looked from Pastor Jim to his big brother then looked down at the ground. His head lifted up and he looked at his big brother. "I can't," he whispered and sniffed a little.

"Why not? Haven't I always fixed everything? I can fix this I promise," Dean said softly.

"You can't," Sammy said. "This can't be fixed."

"Sammy everything can be fixed. I just need to know what it is so I can fix it," Dean said.

Sammy shook his head.

"Why don't you think this can be fixed?" Jim asked.

"You can't fix everything," Sammy whispered.

"But we can try, right? Give us a chance Sammy," Dean said.

Sammy was quiet for a few minutes as if he was considering their words then he took a step forward and gently put his hand on Dean's cast. "You can't fix."

Dean looked down at his arm. His little brother's hand looked so tiny against the white cast. "Sammy my wrist will heal. It'll be fine."

Sammy shook his head and his bottom trembled slightly.

"Yes it will. Do you know how I know?" Dean asked gently.

Sammy looked up at him and shook his head.

"Cause I'm the big brother. I'm right, I'm always right," Dean said with a smile.

Sammy shook his head. "Not always."

Dean's smile faltered slightly. "Sure I am."

"You were gone forever," Sammy whispered. "You promised. You said ten days. You didn't come back."

Dean swallowed heavily. His little brother was right. He'd promised and he'd not been able to come through. The circumstances didn't matter. He was the reason his little brother was so miserable.

"Sammy sometimes things just don't go right. Sometimes things just take longer," Jim tried to explain.

Sammy's focus turned to the pastor a tear began to slip down his cheeks. He blinked several times to try to hold them back.

"Look this is something you are going to have to get used to. Dean is not always going to be right here doing things for you," Jim said.

"No. I will always be here for him," Dean said.

"Yes of course you will, but Dean you can't always be with him. Both of you should be in school right now. Are you going to sit with him in his kindergarten class?" Jim asked.

"If he needs me to," Dean said.

Jim shook his head. "No you won't."

"Then they'll have to stop me," Dean said and put his good hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Sammy's more important than anything, including me, including school, including… well everything."

Sammy sniffed softly.

Jim pursed his lips slightly in frustration and held his hands up in surrender. "Fine. We can discuss that later. Dinner's ready. Get washed up and go downstairs," the cleric said and then left the room.

Dean looked down at his little brother. "Come on. Let's go."

A few minutes later Dean, Sammy and Caleb were sitting at the table waiting for the others. The room was quiet when John walked in his hair tousled from sleep with Jim following him.

"Hey boys," John said quietly as he sat across from his youngest. "Feel like eating Sammy?"

Sammy looked up at him and nodded.

"Use your words Sammy," Dean said from the other side of him.

"Yeah," Sammy said softly.

John's face broke out in a large grin. "That's my boy."

Dean felt a quiet anger rise within him. His father sounded as if he'd gotten Sammy to talk. How dare he sound as if he'd had a part in helping Sammy. The man was never around and he was the one who would have to break it to his little brother that their Daddy had taken off again without much of a good bye.

"Hey," Caleb said as he nudged Dean slightly.

Dean looked at him.

"You ok?" Caleb asked quietly.

Dean pushed the angry feelings back as best he could. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Caleb gave him a look but dropped it. It was no skin off his nose if the kid didn't want to stand up to his father.

"Pastor Jim?" Dean asked softly.

"Yeah?" Jim asked as he put the platter of roast beef onto the table and sat down.

"How is Jesse?" Dean asked.

Jim sighed slightly as he sat down.

John looked over at the pause and answered for him. "Jesse will be fine."

"Yes. Yes he will," Jim said quietly. "But I won't lie to you Dean. It's going to take some time. Jesse's in rough shape but I have a doctor in the parish who has agreed to come tonight to check him over. Then with time and some help from his friends he will be fine."

Dean nodded and concentrated on putting food on Sammy's plate.

"So," Caleb interjected. "Any word of poltergeists or anything that needs to be looked after?"

Jim glanced over at him. "Getting antsy?"

Caleb nodded as he played with the food on his plate. "Yeah a little."

"Well I'll make a few calls and see if our contacts have heard about any hunts," Jim said quietly knowing that the boy had stayed far longer than he'd planned to.

"Thanks Dad," Caleb said.

25


	29. Day 26 December 30th

**Disclaimer: **As much as I wish anything recognizable in the following chapter is not mine. Nothing was made from writing this story so please don't sue.

**Author's Notes: **Hey everyone. Look at this - a fast post! LOL. It only took two days to write this. What happens in this chapter was not what I had planned to happen. That was pushed to Day 27. I'm afraid Dean took over and demanded all of my attention for the following chapter. Hey who am I to argue? My muse is a dark and twisted thing. I swear.

Just want to remind you good folks out there that I don't have that much understanding on medical situations. Need a band aid for a paper cut I'm your girl, but anything out of the ordinary, such as what I have put our heroic hunters through, well I don't really know anything. I on occassion use on line medical sites, but I have no idea how accurate they are. That said, I've also done what's best for the story. So if the medical stuff doesn't match up, and you know it doesn't match up, sorry for that. I'm not really striving for medical accuracy, just what will work for the story.

Thanks out to lynxlan for the really fast beta over lunch hour today.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 26 December 30**

Jim knew it was early as he slowly got up and looked at the clock. The digital read out confirmed his sleepy thoughts as the red digital letters showed five twenty. He got dressed and walked softly to the Winchester boy's room. The door creaked slightly as it opened and he stepped into the room.

He smiled sadly as he saw Dean had already begun to stir. Somehow that boy always knew when someone was around while he slept. A mixed blessing of the conditioning his father had begun the night the young ones had lost their mother. Sammy would always be protected but Dean would always be on alert, never allowed to truly rest until the yellow eyed demon was destroyed.

Dean shifted slightly beneath the sheets and tightened his grip around his little brother. He wanted to keep sleeping but he knew something wasn't right. He had to wake up but sleep was so much more inviting. Taking a deep breath that ended up sounding like a sigh he opened his eyes. There was a dark form silhouetted by the nightlight Sammy had all but demanded just before he'd had his panic attack and stopped speaking.

"Dad?" he whispered hopefully in the dark.

"No Dean. It's just me. Thought you boys could join me in Tai Chi this morning. Do you think you're up to it?" Jim asked softly.

"Sure," Dean said as he tried to cover his disappointment in a yawn. "We'll be down in a couple of minutes."

"Ok," Jim said as he patted Angel for a moment then quietly left the room and headed for his next stop.

He paused outside of Caleb's room. Slowly he opened the door and took a deep calming breath before entering the room. Silently he made his way to the side of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. A soft glow filled the room and Jim pulled back the covers. Last night before heading to bed John and Caleb had moved Jesse into this room. It was quieter and Jim felt more comfortable leaving out the medical supplies here than in the living room where curious little fingers wouldn't find them.

Relief slowly filled the man as he gently checked over Jesse. The tender wounds that had been torn open on the escape from the hospital and the long drive here were healing nicely. As Jim changed a couple of the bandages he saw the wounds that hadn't torn open were continuing to heal and some of the bandages were dry to the touch.

He came across a few places were a stitch or two had broken but the other stitches were holding firm. Making a mental note to check those particular areas again after he was done his morning routine Jesse began to stir.

"Hey hands off unless you're some hot student nurse intent on giving me a sponge bath," Jesse said his voice slurred slightly from sleep.

"You wish," Jim said. "I don't think I'm you're type."

Jesse smiled slightly but didn't open his eyes. "Hey, you watching Johnny?"

Jim frowned. "John's fine."

Jesse opened his eyes and starred glassily at the pastor. "Don't be so sure. Looks deceiving."

"What are you talking about," Jim asked.

Jesse closed his eyes and licked his chapped lips. "Tried talking. Like a fence."

"I think you mean a wall," Jim said with a smile. "John doesn't talk much to anyone including me."

"Too much," Jesse said.

Jim immediately pulled his hand back from dressing a wound.

Jesse sighed. "No. John. Too much. Man's too tight. Gonna break."

"Jesse what are you talking about?" Jim asked. "John seemed fine."

"Fooled you," Jesse said starting to fall back asleep. "Heard him talking. Driving. Thought I was out. Help him Jim."

Jim wanted to ask Jesse for clarity but the man was asleep or passed out. He couldn't tell which. With a sigh and a heavy heart he slowly made his way downstairs. With a glance into the living room he turned and went into the kitchen intent of making a strong brew of coffee.

Caleb was still asleep on the couch. Jim was a little surprised that Caleb wasn't up yet and in research mode. The boy was getting far too antsy. That usually turned out a lot of drawings, a lot of research done or silly antics. Jim had endured enough of his son's antics to last a lifetime.

He wished Caleb would stay longer but he knew that he'd stayed far longer than intended. Caleb would be antsy after being here for four days. If he didn't go, or if Jim didn't force him into some kind of work or training regime Caleb would be at the bar hustling money and getting into fights. When he'd asked his son about it Caleb was at a loss for words. He couldn't explain his actions. Later, when he'd tried to explain, it hadn't made sense to the pastor.

But on some level that didn't require words he thought he understood. Jim sensed far more than he ever let on about anything. Like what drove John to the extreme measures he always found. Like the two young children who had silently come into the kitchen and were waiting on him.

"Ok boys. Time to wake up Caleb and get started," Jim said softly as he turned and frowned finding that his "spidey" sense was off. Only Dean was standing there.

Dean smiled slightly at him. "Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning Dean. Where's Sammy?" Jim asked.

"I tried to wake him up. But he's not been sleeping very well and he really didn't want to wake up," Dean said and shrugged slightly. "I thought he could use the sleep. If you really want him to do Tai Chi I could do it with him this afternoon."

"No. I think you are right. Sleeping will be more beneficial for him I'm glad to see you up and ready to do it though. How is your shoulder after doing it yesterday?" Jim asked.

"It's ok. It's a little sore, but nothing I can't handle," Dean said.

Jim looked at him for a moment.

Dean looked away from the concerned stare. "Fine. It hurts. Feels like it has its own heart beat. But I can handle it."

"Are you taking your pain meds?" Jim asked.

"No sir," Dean said. "They make me feel funny. I don't like it. I'd rather take the pain."

Jim sighed and nodded. "Well I wish you'd said something earlier. I made a salve yesterday to put on it, but with Jesse coming back it kind of slipped my mind."

"It's ok," Dean said quickly. "You have to look after Jesse. He's in much worse shape."

Jim nodded and knelt in front of the boy. "Dean you are important. Just because Jesse is back and needing attention for his wounds doesn't mean that your pain doesn't matter. It matters. More than you believe it does."

Dean shook his head. "It's not important. Getting Sammy to talk is important. Dad coming back is important. Jesse getting better is important. This is just pain. I can deal with that all on my own."

"Well yes you could. But you don't need to," Jim stated and frowned when Dean looked away.

"I need to," Dean almost whispered.

Jim sighed and gently brought Dean's face up so he could look him in the eye. "Punishing yourself for what happened out there is wrong, Dean. You did more than anyone ever expected you to do."

The kind soft spoken words were unexpected and Dean blinked slightly. He didn't deserve the kindness or understanding that his friend was freely giving and his carefully constructed but brittle walls crumbled.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I didn't do what Dad asked me to do. I didn't pay attention. I let myself get attacked. I got lost. I fell asleep after I promised Dad I wouldn't. The only reason they got rescued is because I was found wandering down some random back road. They could've died because I didn't do what I promised I would do. I didn't do what I was trained to do. I never found Jesse's truck," Dean yelled and then stopped when Jim put a hand on his shoulder.

Jim could feel the boy shaking beneath his hand. His eyes that were just filled with pain and barely held back tears were blank again as the boy tried to build his walls back up.

"Dean you did exactly what was needed to be done," Jim started.

"No. You don't understand," Dean said shaking his head and trying to push off the pastor's hand.

Jim held firm. "Then tell me."

Dean closed his eyes and stiffened slightly trying to reign in control.

"Don't Dean. Don't try to push away the pain. You need to deal with this," Jim said then paused hating himself for what he was about to say. "Because if you don't you won't be able to help Sammy through his pain."

Dean opened his eyes. "Sammy comes first," he whispered.

"Not this time," Jim said strongly. "I've been watching you too, seeing how you react to things. You space out like you're not here. You aren't talking to Sammy the way you normally do. There's an edge to your voice that's never there when you talk to him and it's partly what's pushing Sammy away," Jim paused. "And you know your brother well enough to know what he's thinking when he's not speaking no matter what the circumstances are. But you've been struggling to figure out what's wrong with him. It should've been obvious to you in the beginning. But you've been drowning in your own pain so much that you couldn't see past it. To be able to help Sammy, and your Dad, you have to help yourself. It's ok to put yourself first over them."

"I," Dean started and then paused. "I don't know how."

Jim nodded. "There is no easy fix Dean. But for starters let me help you. Talk to me when you keep revisiting the hunt. When you're in pain tell me. I can help. But only if you allow me."

"How will telling you that stuff help Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Well if I help you shoulder some of your burden, maybe you can shoulder some of your brothers," Jim said softly.

Dean was quiet for a few minutes. "Could we still do Tai Chi?"

"Does it help you?" Jim asked.

"Yeah. It did yesterday. I felt calm for a little bit while we were doing it and afterwards too. I haven't felt like that for a while," Dean admitted softly.

Jim smiled. "Then yes. We will definitely go do some Tai Chi. Then will you let me put some salve on that shoulder?"

Dean wanted to say no. He really thought he had been dealing with all of this ok. But as soon as Pastor Jim had said the words out loud about his little brother he'd known he was right. He hadn't been listening to his brother's silence. And maybe it had been far too soon for him to demand his brother tell him what he wanted before he could have it. His brother had been though a lot with worry and fear. Dean was supposed to protect him from that, do the worrying for him and keep him happy. Sighing heavily he nodded. "Yeah that would be good."

"All right then. Let's go wake Caleb and get started," Jim said as he stood up.

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Dean stretched carefully then began to go through the movements that his body would allow him to do. Slowly a feeling of calm spread through him and he felt himself relax as he went through the motions on auto pilot. There were twinges of pain but this pain he could deal with easily enough.

"Don't force it. Just listen to your body and do what it will allow you to do," Jim instructed just above a whisper.

Dean didn't respond but pulled back a bit on the current stance he was holding. A while later Dean stopped and sat on the couch. He watched as Jim and Caleb went through the routine a few more times before stopping themselves.

Jim looked at Dean where he was sitting on the couch cradling his arm closely to his body. "Stay there Dean. I'll bring the salve right now, OK?"

Dean nodded. He was exhausted but at the same time he felt better than he had in a while. Even with the pain coursing through his arm he thought he felt pretty good.

Caleb sat down beside him. "Doin' ok kid?" he asked.

"Yeah. Of course I'm fine," Dean responded.

"Easy there. You're pretty pale and you're breathing a little heavy," Caleb said.

Dean sighed. "Sorry Caleb. I'm ok. I just pushed it a bit too much I think."

"Dude stop apologizing to me. It's good to push, you just need to try and not over do it," Caleb said then smiled. "Hey where's mini-me this morning."

Dean smiled. "I left Sammy sleeping."

"Little fella not sleeping so well?" Caleb asked as he got up and pulled the coffee table back into place. He sat down and propped his feet up on the table.

"No. Not really," Dean said softly.

"Well then. I guess I should stay here and play defensive tackle for you just in case?" Caleb said with a wink.

Dean nodded and looked up as Jim returned with a small jar.

"Take off your shirt Dean. Caleb does that look like a foot rest to you?" Jim asked.

"Actually yeah it does," Caleb said and smiled sweetly up at the pastor.

Dean hid his smile behind his shirt as he slowly pulled it off.

"Oh man. Dean. Why didn't you say anything?" Caleb said as he straightened up.

"About what?" Dean said giving Caleb a funny look.

"Your shoulder. It wasn't that bruised when you got here," Caleb said and glanced up at Jim to make sure he was seeing Dean's injury.

Dean shrugged. "It's just a bruise. It'll fade with time."

"Dean your shoulder is black," Jim said frowning.

"Yeah. It's a bruise," Dean said. "Some bruises are black. In a couple of days it'll be blue and purple and eventually lighten to yellow and then be gone. It's just a bruise."

"Dean when did it turn black?" Jim asked.

"After Sammy tackled me I guess," Dean tried to look at his shoulder and when he couldn't really see it he got up and went into the bathroom nearby.

Jim followed him to the washroom stopping at the door and waited for Dean to say something.

The boy stood there staring at his shoulder. "It wasn't this black yesterday."

Jim nodded. "Sit down," he said and motioned to the toilet.

Dean put the lid down and sat as instructed. The salve was cold and he hissed slightly as it made contact with his skin.

"Sorry," Jim said softly concentrating on rubbing the salve in as gently as possible. "So what happened yesterday that would have made this worse?"

"We were showing Sammy some defensive moves. Caleb was moving in slow motion and I would show Sammy the correct block. Only," Dean said then paused as he sensed movement behind Jim.

"Only what?" John asked.

"I moved wrong," Dean said and his head bowed slightly.

John nodded. "I'm disappointed in you Dean. I have explicitly told you that Sammy was not to learn how to fight yet."

Dean's head bowed further. "Yes sir," he whispered.

"What?" John said.

"Yes sir," Dean said louder.

Jim didn't stop what he was doing. He wasn't supposed to interfere with John and his sons. He wanted John to keep coming around, for the boys to keep coming around. For them to have a safe place to come to when they needed it. He was afraid that if he interfered too much John wouldn't return. As Dean flinched and hissed in pain below him all thoughts along that line went out the window.

"John," he said softly. "I don't think now is really the time."

"Why not. And what exactly are you doing to him?" John asked.

"It's nothing," Dean said and tried to get up.

"Stay put Dean until I'm done," Jim said. "Just your garden variety salve for his shoulder."

"He has pain meds for that," John said.

Jim felt Dean go completely still at his father's tone. "John do me a favour and go get some coffee. You were always a bear before that first caffeine rush in the morning."

A moment later Dean's body relaxed slightly and the boy closed his eyes.

"Just a little more Dean, ok?" Jim said.

Dean nodded and without meaning to started to lean into the pastor's hand as he massaged his shoulder. The pain was lessening and Jim was the only one who hadn't yelled at him no matter what he'd done wrong.

"Ok Dean?" Jim asked and when he got no response he looked at Dean's face. The boy was pale and his eyes were closed. His jaw muscle twitched under the strain of keeping control and Jim shook his head as he finished massaging the shoulder. He'd have to make sure to get some heat on his shoulder before it started to freeze up on the boy.

"Yeah. Can I go now?" Dean whispered. "I need to check on Sammy."

"Sure. How about I keep your Dad busy while you make a run for it?" Jim whispered back.

Dean opened his eyes and looked at the pastor. He saw a glint of mischief in the man's eyes and nodded. "Thank you."

Jim nodded and put the lid onto the jar. "Go on."

Dean sat there for a moment as his shoulder started to go numb. His brow furrowed at the sensation. He knew there was supposed to be pain relief but there wasn't any pain now at all.

"Pastor Jim?" he whispered.

"Yes Dean?" Jim answered.

"Is my shoulder supposed to be numb?" he asked as he moved his shoulder around without pain for the first time in weeks.

"Well only if the salve's working. Now go on up to Sammy," Jim said as he put the jar on the counter and left the small room.

Dean counted to thirty then poked his head out the door. No sign of anyone and he could hear his father talking to Jim in the kitchen. As quietly as he could he made his way to the stairs and went up as fast as he could.

He slipped into the room and closed the door as quietly as he could. He hadn't meant to upset his father, but now he knew he would have to run interference today between his brother and his father. He didn't want to do it, but he didn't want Sammy slipping deeper into silence. He'd talked a little yesterday and he wanted to encourage him to talk some more today.

He put his ear to the closed door and listened. Not hearing anything he let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. He turned and found that Sammy was still sleeping in the bed. Covers were flung everywhere and Sammy had turned himself diagonally across the bed.

Dean smiled a little and picked up a pillow that was on the floor. He put it at the top of the bed and then he pulled up the covers.

Sammy stirred slightly and mumbled something unintelligible.

"It's ok Sammy. I'm here. Need to straighten you up a bit or you'll fall off," Dean said softly as he coaxed his brother into a more comfortable position. He was surprised that his little brother didn't open his eyes at all but curled a hand around his arm before sighing softly and drifting back into a deeper sleep.

He waited a few moments before gently taking the small hand off his arm. He tucked the blankets securely around Sammy and went to the dresser. He took out a clean shirt and put it on. Then he climbed onto the bed and rested his back against the headboard.

Sammy murmured in his sleep and Dean put a hand on his back. "Right here Sammy," he said very softly. "I'm right here."

His hand gently moved up and down his little brother's back soothing him while he slept. As he sat there Dean let his mind wander. His Dad must not be feeling well because as strict as he was he was never mean. His comments earlier, while not unexpected, were delivered with a harsh tone that Dean got only when he'd massively screwed up. Spilling gun oil on a motel carpet while cleaning their guns, letting Sammy get hurt, getting hurt while training, things like that. But he was never mean for the sake of being mean.

His hand stilled as he fell deeper into his thoughts. Yes interference. Sammy staying quiet would annoy Dad. It would annoy him because he wouldn't know how to make Sammy better. And being annoyed would lead to Sammy falling deeper into the silent world he was creating for himself. And that would lead to Dad getting angry. Which would lead to him leaving.

The thought of Dad leaving left Dean feeling cold and alone. He didn't want his father to leave them here. It wasn't that he had anything against Pastor Jim or Caleb. He just wanted his father to be here with them for a while.

Dean sighed as Sammy turned over in his sleep and snuggled into his side. He smiled down at his little brother and scooted down on the bed pulling Sammy tightly next to him. Dean closed his eyes as he yawned. Suddenly his eyes felt too heavy to open and he drifted gently into sleep.

0000000000000

Dean woke to the bedroom door being opened and quiet voices around him. Sammy had gotten up and dressed without his help. He had Caleb's hand in his and he was pulling him towards Dean. He looked scared.

"Sammy?" Dean asked as he rubbed at his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Slowly Dean swung his legs around the edge of the bed and sat up. He hissed at the pins and needles in his shoulder and sighed. He still felt exhausted, like he wanted to sleep for the rest of the day and the night too, but Sammy obviously needed something.

Sammy came just short of the bed and looked at his brother. More voices in the hallway caught his attention and he looked over at the open door to see who it was. A man was standing there talking softly with Jim.

"Like I said fill the prescription and work some of that salve of yours into his bruises but don't let it get into the open wounds. The stitches you did earlier look like they're holding well, but I'll be back tomorrow to check on him. Make sure he gets all of those pills Jim. Don't miss any even if you have to wake him make sure he takes them on time and he finishes the prescription," the man said then glanced into the room.

Sammy stood in front of his brother slightly blocking his view and pulled Caleb next to him.

"Ah I see the young fella here is still in protective mode," the stranger said softly.

Jim chuckled. "Yeah well you know how it can be with brothers."

The man nodded. "Oh yeah. I have my own little brother."

He stepped into the room and paused as Sammy held out his hand, palm forward, using the universal sigh for stop.

"Hey Sammy? What'cha doing?" Dean asked.

Sammy turned to look at him. "Stay," he said firmly then turned back to where the man was patiently waiting.

"What am I a dog? Do I look like Angel?" he said.

Caleb turned to look at him. "Do you really want an answer?"

"Funny. Sammy come here," he said softly and was relieved when his brother did as he was asked. He patted the side of the bed and waited as his brother sat down beside him. "Now what's going on?"

Sammy looked at the stranger and pointed. "No."

Dean nodded like it made all the sense in the world. "You're protecting me from him?"

Sammy nodded emphatically.

Dean sighed and put his arm around his little brother. "Thanks little man, but I don't think you need to protect me from him. He looks and sounds like a doctor."

Sammy frowned and shook his head.

Caleb sighed slightly. Time for the condensed version. "He kinda scared your brother when he was checking out your father and your Daddy swore a blue streak at him."

Dean's eyebrows went up in surprise. That wasn't good, not at all. Now interference was going to be essential. But first things first.

"By the looks of it Pastor Jim wants me to be checked over," he paused and looked at Jim who nodded. "So he can't be all bad Sammy. Tell you what. Why don't you stay here with me while he looks at my shoulder. I know I'd feel better if you were here watching out for me."

Caleb turned and watched the little one waiting for his verdict. He'd had to calm Sammy down after John let loose a fury of words that had even stunned himself. It wasn't that the words were new to him, it was the dire and heated threats to the doctor that had followed. Sammy had grabbed his hand and led him to stand sentry outside Dean's room until the doctor was finished with Jesse. Which led him here, standing here and feeling like a complete moron, doing exactly what the five year old wanted.

Sammy pursed his lips and glared slightly at the doctor as if in warning then nodded. He grabbed Dean's hand and ensconced it between his own.

"Well now I guess that's my cue that I'm off sentry duty," Caleb joked.

"No," Sammy said firmly.

Caleb turned and looked at him. "No? Dude he's a fully qualified doc who's gonna help your big brother."

Sammy sighed.

"All right. All right," Caleb said as he caved. He couldn't believe he was letting the five year old control him so much. Then again he was kinda happy that the kid was talking. One word sentences weren't much but they spoke volumes as to how the kid was doing. "But I'm not standing there or sitting on the bed. I'll be over here."

Sammy nodded.

"Is it ok to come in now?" the doctor asked looking at Sammy.

Sammy looked up to Dean as if asking for his permission first. Dean smiled and nodded down at him. Sammy looked at the doctor and nodded.

The doctor smiled and walked closer to the bed. "Hello. You're Dean right?"

"Yeah," Dean said softly.

"Dr. Bright. I'm a friend of Pastor Jim's," he said. "Would you let me take a look at your shoulder? It seems to have the pastor quite worried."

Dean didn't like doctors very much and glanced over at Jim.

"It's up to you Dean. I've known Dr. Bright for years and I trust him," Jim said softly. "But if you don't want him to look at your shoulder he won't."

"It's ok I guess," he said softly although he really wasn't sure.

Dr. Bright smiled. "It's going to hurt a little, all right?"

Sammy frowned and glared at the man.

"It's ok. Pastor Jim?" Dean said looking around the doctor.

"I'm right here Dean," Jim said as he came farther into the room where Dean could see him.

Dean swallowed heavily hating that all eyes in the room seemed to be on him with the exception of his little brother. Sammy was glaring daggers at the doctor. "Could I have some more salve put on after Dr. Bright is done?"

Jim looked over to his friend.

"I don't see why not. It's a great salve I just wish he'd share the secret with me. Nothing on the market works as well as his miracle potion does. Works on just about anything too," Dr. Bright said with a smile. "And it's much easier to administer than a needle."

"It's not a potion it's a salve," Dean said. "Potions are liquid."

Dr Bright gave him a strange look. "Did you hit your head son?"

"No I didn't and it's a simple fact. Potions are liquids," Dean said. "Even the movies get that part right."

"Ah Dean? Do you want me to stay?" Jim asked cutting in before the boy could say anything that would garner questions later. Dr. Bright didn't know about their activities, just that he was part of a society of hunters that sometimes ran into trouble but were well within the law. The man hadn't asked any questions and had always come through for him. Small offerings like salve had worked wonders to keep the secrets. It was a small price to pay and Jim was grateful for his help.

Dean didn't want to look weak, like he couldn't handle a simple check by a doctor. But in truth he didn't want Jim to leave, or Caleb for that matter.

"Yeah," he said softly.

"I'll go get the salve. As long as that's ok with you?" Caleb said looking at Sammy.

Sammy nodded.

"I'll be right back," Caleb said.

Dean looked at the doctor.

"Can you remove your shirt so I can examine your shoulder?" Dr. Bright asked.

"Oh, um, yeah, I guess," Dean said and started to pull off his shirt but it was much more difficult than it had been earlier. His shoulder had gone from pins and needles to a burning and throbbing sensation.

"Can I help you with that?" Dr. Bright asked.

"No. No I can do it," Dean said but after a few minutes he slouched down slightly.

"Here let me," Dr. Bright said.

"NO!" Sammy yelled.

"Easy Sammy. It's ok," Dean said and he took a moment to hug his little brother. It hid the tears that were building from the pain.

"Maybe I should help him," Jim said softly to Dr. Bright.

"Yeah that might be for the best," Dr. Bright said.

Jim waited for Dean to let go of his little brother knowing that he had been finding a way to hide his pain and to steel himself for what was about to happen. When Dean lifted his head up and pulled back from his brother he looked at Jim and simply nodded. The nod giving him permission to remove his shirt and that Dean knew it was gonna hurt.

As gently as he could he took the t-shirt off of Dean wincing in sympathy as the boy whimpered in pain.

"Good heavens," Dr. Bright said softly. "Why didn't you call me earlier?"

"It wasn't this bad earlier," Jim said and stepped back slightly but stayed close enough to be in Dean's line of sight.

"Ready Dean?" Dr Bright asked.

"Yeah. Just get it over with," he said quietly.

"No," a small voice said.

"He's going to help me Sammy," he said softly and smiled slightly at his little brother as he looked down at him.

Sammy shook his head.

"Do you remember at the cabin we were running around in the forest?" Dean asked.

"Bear," Sammy said.

Dean rolled his eyes and glanced at the doctor. "There wasn't a bear. We were coming back from the creek when we thought we heard something and we raced back to the cabin. We were almost there when you tripped."

Sammy nodded and pointed at his foot.

"That's right. I thought it was just sprained and I carried you back to the cabin. When I went to wrap it what did I find?" Dean asked.

"Out," Sammy said.

"That's right. Your ankle was out of place and I had to put it back in for you," Dean said. "And it hurt a lot."

Sammy nodded looking sad. "Cried."

"Yeah you did. But not much. You were very brave. And even though it hurt you knew it had to be done, right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Sammy said.

"Well the doctor has to look at my shoulder and find out what's wrong. But it may hurt for him to look at it. But he's not hurting me on purpose," Dean said. "If he doesn't do it Sammy it might not get better."

Sammy looked from Dean to the doctor then to Pastor Jim.

"I wouldn't have this done if it wasn't necessary Sammy," Jim said.

Sammy sighed and looked back up at his brother. "Ok," he said. "Stay."

"I'd like that," Dean said as he squeezed Sammy's hand.

"Ok Dean? I'm going to start by trying to," Dr. Bright started but stopped when Dean glared at him.

"Don't tell me what you're gonna do. Just do it. I want to be done," Dean said.

"Right," Dr. Bright said and then as gently as he could he touched the boy's shoulder.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to zone out. He tried to force away the pain and concentrated on the fun he and Sammy had at the cabin. He'd taught Sammy how to fish and on one of the days their father had joined them just before he'd gone on a hunt. He'd taught Sammy how to build a fort and how to keep it hidden under tree boughs.

He'd done ok until the doctor began moving his shoulder and arm in different directions. He cried out in pain as he tried to raise his arm and yanked his arm out of the man's grasp. It was then that he realized that Sammy wasn't next to him anymore holding his hand.

"Sammy?" he whispered.

He opened his eyes to see Jim holding him back as he struggled to get towards the doctor. He was panting against the pain trying to get it under control and looked up as Caleb came into the room. He followed the nineteen year old with his eyes until he sat down next to him on the bed.

"Not going so well, huh? Well then should almost be over," Caleb said.

Dr. Bright just sighed. "Just hold him back will you? I don't need a matching bruise on my other leg."

"Well then don't make his brother scream like that," Caleb said. "Jim why don't you take Sammy out of here for a few minutes. Doc let's get this done, but so help me if Dean so much as whimpers you will be waking up next week."

"Caleb really," Jim said.

"No," Sammy said as he started to squirm in Jim's grasp then sighed as the pastor picked him up.

"He's almost done Sammy," Jim whispered softly to Sammy.

"Look I had to test his mobility and I think I have a pretty clear picture of what's happening," Dr. Bright said to Caleb and then looked at Dean. "Son there is a lot of swelling which has moved your shoulder out of position again."

"Then put it back in," John said from behind them all. "Dean let the doctor do what he needs to do."

"But," Dean said apprehensively.

"Now doc," John said. "Get it done."

Dean recognized the order and looked at the doctor. "Do it," he said then looked away.

The doctor looked between father and son. "We should really wait and put on the salve."

"Do it," Dean said.

"You heard him doc," John said.

Dr. Bright sighed and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered and wrenched Dean's arm.

Dean screamed and his world went dark.

0000000000000

A short time later Dean woke. He didn't open his eyes but he could hear voices talking softly around him.

"Some of the swelling will go down now and keep applying the salve," a voice said and Dean recognized the regretful voice as Dr. Bright's. "I wished you had called me earlier. It wouldn't have been so bad."

"I understand," Jim said softly. "What do we expect now?"

"There's a lot of trauma around the shoulder. Ice and heat must be applied along with the salve and it should improve with time. He needs to keep this immobile Jim. That's imperative. This arm does not come out of the sling unless he's in the shower. He is not to carry anything, or do anything that will exert him. Get him back on the pain meds and bring him into the office early next week. I'd also like to get another x-ray done of his shoulder. I'm not so sure that it's just dislocated," Dr. Bright said.

"Well we'll make that determination next week," Jim said. "I'll see you out."

Dean heard footfalls leave the room and thought he was alone.

"Go," Sammy said.

"No way kiddo. I am not going to let you go after that doctor again," Caleb said.

"Dean," Sammy said and his voice was slightly muffled.

"Shhh. Dean's going to be ok. The Doc put on a lot of the salve on his shoulder so it'll be numb by the time he wakes up. He's ok Sammy," Caleb said softly.

Dean heard material moving and sniffing from close by. He could imagine Caleb rubbing Sammy's back to comfort him.

"MMmmm," Dean said.

"Well look who's beginning to come around. See little man? He's ok," Caleb said and his voice was a little closer this time.

The bed dipped a little and he figured either Sammy or Caleb were sitting next to him. He was wrong.

"Wake up Dean," John commanded.

Dean struggled to open his eyes. "Mmff," he said.

"Easy Johnny," Caleb said. "Give him some time."

The room was quiet and Dean felt his hand enveloped in another larger one. Dean was sure he frowned. Dad didn't do the touchy feely thing. He didn't hold hands with his kids unless he was ushering Sammy across the street and usually that was Dean's job.

He felt a hand gently caress his brow and move through his hair. The familiar movement calmed him and he felt himself relax slightly,

"Caleb's right Dean. Take the time you need boy," he said.

Dean was confused. Dad didn't mix his orders they were always clear and concise. Wasn't he supposed to wake up? What would happen if he didn't follow the original command? Was this a test?

"If you can hear me Dean get some sleep," John said softly and his hand ran through Dean's hair again.

The movement was calming and made him feel so safe that he allowed himself to slip into sleep.

0000000000000

Dean woke much later in the day and found there was no pain and he wasn't alone. As he blinked sleepily he checked out the room. Caleb and Sammy were on the floor playing some kind of board game and Angel was on the bed beside him.

"Please tell me he didn't make you play Candyland," Dean said.

"No way would I be caught dead playing Candyland," Caleb said.

"Sammy what are you playing?" Dean asked.

A snicker was his only reply. Sammy moved his piece and then got up. He moved over to the bed and leaned slightly against it.

"Candyland?" Dean whispered to his little brother.

Sammy nodded with a big grin on his face. "Owie?"

"Nope doesn't hurt at all," Dean said.

"Scared?" Sammy asked.

"No way. When was the last time you really saw me scared little man?" Dean asked.

Sammy frowned as he looked up at him.

"I'm ok really Sammy," Dean said softly.

Caleb came up to the bed and sat down. "Jim's got dinner ready. Said to bring you down when you woke up. Doc left some pain meds for you. Different ones that also have an antibiotic but they shouldn't affect you like the last ones did. Jim made sure."

Dean nodded. "Hungry Sammy?"

"Yeah," Sammy said and grabbed his brother's hand. "Downstairs."

"Easy there," Caleb said as he put his hand over both of theirs effectively stopping Sammy from yanking on his brother. "His shoulder, remember? You have to be gentle. He's like china, brittle and will break easy."

"I'm not china and I'm not gonna break Sammy. Just don't tug on me, ok?" Dean said as he watched his little brother go from happy to panic in two seconds. "Don't do that Caleb."

"Do what?" Caleb asked as he hoisted Sammy up onto his shoulders.

"Don't scare him like that," Dean said strongly.

"Whatever," Caleb said with a roll of his eyes. "Let's go."

Dean nodded and got out of bed. The floor and walls seemed to roll slightly but righted almost immediately so he followed the other two out of the room.

"Ah there you are. How are you doing Dean?" Jim asked as the boys came into the kitchen.

"I'm ok," Dean said.

"That's good. We'll put more salve on it before you go to bed later," Jim said.

Jim put dinner on the table and sat down with the boys.

"Where's Dad?" Dean asked.

"Uh your father went into town for a little while. Said he needed to get some cash as the reserves were low," Jim said. "I doubt he'll be back before you and Sammy go to bed."

"Oh," Dean said and couldn't help the disappointment that crept into his voice.

"Well what are you waiting for gentlemen? I thought you all liked pizza?" Jim asked looking at the three boys around him just sitting there and sighed. "Ok. Out with it."

"Out with what?" Caleb asked.

"Normally with you three pizza doesn't stand a chance. Five minutes tops and it's inhaled. Now what's wrong," Jim pressed.

"Daddy's gone?" Sammy asked quietly.

"No he's just gone out. He'll be back," Jim assured him.

"Yeah but for how long?" Dean said and then immediately wished he hadn't. He pushed his plate away feeling his exhaustion almost overwhelming. Closing his eyes he leaned back into his chair. He wanted his father here. It didn't feel like too much to ask. He'd promised.

"Promised," Sammy said.

Dean glanced at him and almost smiled. If his pout got any bigger it would encompass his entire face.

"Sammy Dad's still here. He's just not here," Dean said and frowned at his words. That didn't make sense at all. Frowning he reached out, snagged a piece of pepperoni pizza and put it on his little brother's plate. "Eat that or else."

Sammy looked at him funny for a minute then picked up the pizza and took a bite.

"Good," Dean said as he took a slice for himself and took a small bite. "Make sure you finish it."

Sammy frowned at him again. "Mad?"

Dean sighed as he put his pizza on the plate. "No Sammy I'm not mad. Just kinda sick and tired."

"Of what? Doesn't this kinda stuff define normal for people like us?" Caleb asked with a mouth full of pizza.

Jim reached out and slapped Caleb upside the head. "Manners boy."

"Hey!" Caleb protested with a big grin.

Dean watched the interplay between father and adopted son. What would he give for that kind of relationship between him and his father? Most of the time he felt all he had was orders and responsibilities. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Dean?" Caleb said softly. "Hey buddy. You ok?"

Dean nodded. "Tired."

"Yeah I got that," Caleb said. "Your shoulder?"

"Hurts," Dean said and it did. Between waking and now the small ache had increased to a full throb.

"Eat some of that pizza," Jim said as he got up and went over to the counter.

"Not hungry," Dean said as he pushed his plate away from him.

"You may not be hungry but you need to eat," Caleb said. "It's a requirement of the pills. Well unless you wanna hurl."

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. "Hurling bad."

Caleb laughed. "That it is. Now come on. It's good pizza," he said as he pulled the plate back to Dean.

Dean nodded and opened his eyes. He ate the pizza and then took the pills that Jim had put out for him next to his glass of water.

When everyone was done Caleb was put on dish duty with Sammy and Jim took Dean upstairs.

"Bath or shower?" Jim asked as they walked into Dean's room.

"Shower?" Dean said all ready to protest any suggestion of help.

"Ok. Wait here I'll get a bag to wrap around your cast," Jim said.

Dean nodded and sat down on his unmade bed to wait. A moment later Jim returned with a zip lock bag.

"Will that work?" Dean asked.

"Should do the trick," Jim said. He helped Dean out of the new sling and put the bag around his hand and wrist to protect the cast. Jim then took some duct tape and sealed it shut.

"Thanks," Dean said quietly.

"No problem. Are you ok on your own?" Jim asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah I got it," he said as he stood up.

"Ok well I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you. I'll be in my room so if you need help just yell ok? You don't have to be superman here Dean," Jim said.

"If I need help I'll yell, but I'm sure I'll be ok," Dean said.

"All right," Jim said and headed out of the room.

A while later Dean came out of the bathroom clean and still slightly damp.

"Thought you'd be a prune by now," Caleb said as Dean walked into the room.

Caleb was resting up against the headboard with Sammy next to him.

"Is it bed time?" Dean asked. The day had passed kind of strangely as he'd slept through most of it and his conception of time was off.

"Is it bed time?" Caleb repeated. "Dude it's almost ten. Sammy fell asleep about a half hour ago after about six stories and good natured threats."

"Six stories? Man you're killin me here. You know I won't hear the end of that. _But Dean, Caleb read me six stories. I want another story,_" Dean mimicked in voice similar to Sammy's. "I have a very strict policy of two stories tops."

"You are so easy," Caleb said with a large grin.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I read him two stories. That's it. Then I told him about my last couple of hunts with all the gory details," Caleb said.

Dean rolled his eyes. He would've told him about the hunts but it would have been the Mr. Rogers version of them.

Caleb carefully pulled Sammy's arm from where it was gripping his shirt in sleep and got off the bed. He tucked the blankets around him and then straightened up to stretch.

"Is he ok?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Well no. He's really worried about you," Caleb said. "He's been struggling to stay awake until you were done with your shower. But he finally conked out."

Dean nodded as he sat down on the bed.

"Lets get that stuff off your arm," Caleb said. He pulled out his pocket knife and cut off the bag. He gently pulled up the tape.

"Man it's like a band-aid. Rip fast so it hurts less," Dean said.

"Ok. Your arm," Caleb said and yanked hard.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean ground out as pain flared up his arm and shot knives into his shoulder.

"Man you better hope that Jim didn't hear that," Caleb said. "Where'd you leave that sling of yours."

Dean curled protectively around his arm and just tried to breathe around the pain.

"Tell you what. How about I put the salve on first, huh? Then I'll find your sling," Caleb said. "Gonna have to lose the shirt."

Dean cringed and looked at him.

"Don't be such a girl. Just relax and I'll take it off for you," Caleb said softly.

Dean nodded and closed his eyes.

As gently as he could Caleb removed the shirt and winced slightly. He couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty about Dean's shoulder. After all he was the one who had knocked him to the ground.

"Hey stop staring. It's just a bruise," Dean said. "Now who is the girl."

"Shut it twerp," Caleb said as he put the shirt onto the bed and went for the salve on the night stand.

"Is Dad back yet?" Dean asked.

"Nope. I'm afraid you're stuck with me. My name is Caleb and I'll be your nurse this evening," Caleb said.

"Well ok. As long as you don't put on a uniform or something," Dean said. "Cause that'd be more than fugly. It would be monumentally wrong."

Caleb laughed softly. "You know it's discussions like these that make me worry about your future."

Dean smiled. "Whatever man. Now shut up and fix my shoulder."

Caleb took his time and massaged the salve into his shoulder the way the doctor had earlier that day after Dean had passed out.

Dean sighed in relief and closed his eyes as the salve began to work. His shoulder had gone from extremely painful to pins and needles. It was a start.

"Hey Dean that doctor that was here. He mentioned that your shoulder should be massaged a few times a day with hot compresses and lots of salve," Caleb said.

"Yeah?" Dean said. "That mean we're actually staying?"

"Yup. Your dad said earlier that you'd be here for a while. Even pinky swore to Sammy, right," Caleb said.

"Yeah. Sure," Dean said opening his eyes. "That just meant that Sammy and I would be staying. There's never a guarantee with Dad."

"Well maybe Jim can teach you some things while you stay here. Or worse he could enrol you in school while you're here," Caleb said then frowned and waited for Dean to look at him. "That could be a fate worse than death."

Dean smiled and laughed half heartedly. "Man I can handle school. It's a great place to hone bluffing skills and anti-social behaviours."

"Anti-social behaviours?" Caleb repeated.

"Last school councillor," Dean said. "Man she was such an easy target. I played her really well until Dad found out."

"Yeah? What'd Johnny do?" Caleb asked working in more salve.

"The usual. A lecture on trust. Extreme amount of laps around the motel. Weapon's maintenance. Callisthenics. Research. What ever he wanted happened," Dean said. "On the other hand I haven't been in trouble since."

"You were in the woods," Caleb said.

"Yeah but only after the councillor called in family services. That's why we were in a cabin in the woods," Dean admitted softly then grinned widely. "One of the best summers ever though. Taught Sammy how to fish."

"Well I'm done here. Let me find your sling," Caleb said as he got off the bed from where he'd been sitting and looked around the room. As gently as he could he got the sling around Dean with minimal hissing from the boy.

"Ok. Get some sleep," Caleb said softly as he watched Dean get comfortable in the bed. He pulled up the covers slightly and then headed out of the room turning the light off as he went.

Dean lay there in the darkness for a while. A pleasant buzz humming through him. He figured it must have been the new meds but at least he didn't feel sick. This kinda buzz was nice and his shoulder wasn't hurting at all.

He shifted himself slightly lower in the bed and closed his eyes falling asleep almost immediately.


	30. Day 27 December 31st

**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing no matter what universe we're currently in. As much as I wish the Winchesters and their band of supernatural hunters were mine, they belong to much more talented people.

**Author's Notes: **I hope you enjoy the following first part of day 27. Two more parts will be coming. Oh and there's some language.

Thanks to lynxlan for the beta. I've changed it up since getting it back, so if there are errors they are mine.

Also have to send out a huge thank you to my awesome big brother who rescued me from my hot water heater catastrophe. Which blew on Friday night which is kina why Day 27 is taking so long to get posted. But I did post on my profile that this would be up by Sunday. Hey it's still Sunday on the west coast.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 27 December 31**

Pastor Jim had gotten up and checked on Jesse. The man had improved very little, but the clergy man would take the small improvement over anything else any day. After changing the bandages he went into Dean and Sammy's room intent on only waking the youngest Winchester. He tried to keep quiet, but he should have known his efforts were in vain.

"Hey," Dean said just above a whisper and moved slightly beneath the covers. "Time to get up?"

"No Dean. Just Sammy. Go back to sleep," Jim said softly hoping the young boy would do as he asked. He'd wanted the boy to take some time and get some extra sleep, but Dean wasn't one to sleep the day away like Caleb could when he was recuperating from a hunt.

"Why? I'm awake," Dean said as he began to rub Sammy's back. "Sammy? Time to get up."

"Nnmmf," Sammy said and snuggled closer to his big brother.

Dean smiled in the semi-darkness. "Come-on. Time for Tai Chi."

Sammy yawned and grabbed his brother's sling. "No."

Dean winced slightly but the pain wasn't all that bad. He looked up to the silhouette. "We'll be down in a minute."

"Ok," Jim said and quickly left the room. Like yesterday he headed into the kitchen and prepared the first pot of coffee of the day. He rested his hands on the countertop and lowered his head slightly. Anyone who didn't know him better would have believed the cleric was praying, when in truth he was quietly debating with himself. He raised his head as the debate ended. He would go forward with his plan. After all it was the right thing to do, and much needed for the loved ones around him.

He smiled slightly as he heard voices in the living room.

"Dude get off me," Caleb growled.

"No way. If I'm up so are you," Dean shot back.

"Yeah," Sammy said.

Jim's smile increased.

"So what do you think Sammy?" Dean asked.

Jim walked towards the living room but stopped short at the kitchen/living room doorway. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall and waited. If the look on Dean's face meant anything this was going to be good.

Sammy looked up at his big brother with his best innocent look and nodded.

They both tuned back to Caleb and smiled.

Jim watched as his son went from glaring to on guard as he fidgeted slightly and waited for whatever was about to happen. He didn't have to wait long.

"TICKLE TORTURE!" Dean yelled as Sammy pounced on the nineteen year old.

"Ooff," Caleb said in surprise as Sammy literally jumped onto his stomach and began tickling in earnest.

"All right. That's it!" Caleb said as he grabbed Sammy around his waist and held the little boy up above him. He managed to hold him aloft as he tickled the boy slightly. Then he mock dropped him once.

Sammy's face was red from laughing so hard and he giggled as he looked down at the nineteen year old. "Down!"

"Hmmm… Na. I don't think so squirt," Caleb said struggling not to laugh. "Don't even think about it Dean."

Dean looked slightly surprised that Caleb had seen him slowly inching forward hoping to get in on the fun without aggravating his shoulder.

Jim chuckled from where he stood and three heads turned in his direction. "Caleb let Sammy down and get up. Let's get started. I have a lot to do today."

Caleb looked from Jim then to Dean. Giving the older boy a wink he pretended to drop Sammy two more times.

Dean watched slightly nervous as Caleb swung Sammy down quickly towards the floor and then put him gently down so the little one was standing in front of him.

"Again!" Sammy said with a big grin.

"Maybe later," Dean said as he put a hand on Sammy shoulder and pulled him back gently. "We should start stretching."

Sammy sighed slightly and stepped back from the couch and began to stretch. He glanced over at Dean.

"No Sammy. Plant your feet properly," Dean coached softly and waited as his little brother shifted his stance slightly. "Bend your knees slightly. Yeah that's better."

Dean took a deep breath, closed his eyes and planted his feet. He stood there for a moment just taking deep calming breaths just like his father had taught him. John had said stretching and working out wasn't worth crap if you couldn't get your mind settled first. His father had gone on to say that he could injure himself if he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing, and if he got hurt who would look after Sammy while he was away?

Dean smiled softly. Back then he'd relished the time training with his father because even though Sammy was right there it felt like it was just him and his Dad.

Jim watched Dean for a few moments as he started stretching. He watched as the boy smiled and his entire body seemed to relax slightly but he didn't open his eyes.

Caleb moved the coffee table out of the way so there was enough room for all of them in the living room then began to stretch as well.

"Dean?" Jim said softly.

Dean opened his eyes and blinked up at the pastor.

"Ok?" Jim asked.

"Yeah," Dean said softly then began to stretch.

A half hour later Dean slowly sank onto the couch. He was sore, even though he'd kept his arm snugly fastened in the sling, but it was a good kind of sore.

He watched over Sammy as his little brother went through the moves. Slowly he got up and stepped behind his brother correcting his current pose. Then he went and sat down on the couch.

The rest finished a little while later and they went into the kitchen. Dean went to the cupboard to get out the cereal bowls when Jim stopped him.

"No cereal this morning Dean. Thought I'd make some scrambled eggs and bacon," Jim said. "That'll take a few minutes. Why don't you and Sammy get changed?"

Dean nodded. "Sure."

A moment later Jim was alone in the kitchen. John hadn't come upstairs yet and Caleb was probably checking on Jesse before getting changed. With a smile Jim put the skillet on the stove and turned on the element. He quickly began to make some breakfast. As the bacon was cooking he took a few more items out of the fridge and began chopping some veggies.

Dean and Sam came back into the kitchen dressed in jeans and sweatshirts. Angel came in with them.

"Sammy can you do me a favour?" Jim asked as he turned the bacon.

"Yes," Sammy said softly.

"Can you feed Angel for me?" Jim asked.

"Ok," Sammy said and he went over to where the dog food was kept.

Dean watched and as Sammy filled the dog's bowl with dry dog food he got her fresh water. "There you go girl," Dean said as he carefully put the water bowl down without spilling a drop.

Angel wagged her tail at him before dipping her head down and lapping up some water.

Sammy appeared beside him a moment later with a bowl full of dry dog food. "Here Angel," he said softly.

Dean couldn't help but smile as his little brother said more than one word in a row. He put his hand behind Sammy's neck and gave a slight gentle squeeze. Then he gave him a slight nudge towards the table.

Caleb joined them soon afterwards and they sat down to a hearty breakfast. As the nineteen year old was clearing away the dirty dishes Jim cleared his throat. No one looked at him. Dean was concentrating on wiping Sammy's face clean. Sammy was staring down at Angel while his foot hit the leg of the chair giving a continuous thump, thump, thump sound.

"Sammy quit it," Dean said patiently as he pulled up his little brother's face by the chin and finished wiping the giggling face clean.

"I want you three to take Angel for a walk this morning," Jim said.

"No problem," Caleb said as he finished filling the sink with soapy water and put in the dirty dishes.

Dean's head whipped up and he stared at the pastor as his face drained of all colour. His breathing sped up and a slight wheezing sound was the only thing that could be heard in the kitchen.

"Ow," Sammy said as he tried to pull his chin out of his brother's tightening grip. "Dean," he whimpered.

Dean didn't seem to hear him but his hand fell away. His blood pumped loudly in his ears and his heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest. Walking Angel meant going outside. Outside was cold. Outside had snow and icy wind. Outside had snow monsters. Outside had cold icy snow.

"Dean?" Caleb said from where he stood where he was leaning up against the counter. "Dude it's not so bad out there. Really."

Dean opened his mouth to talk, and even though it moved no words came out.

Sammy frowned as he looked up at his big brother while he rubbed his chin. He glared at the man across the table. Pastor Jim wasn't supposed to scare them, he was supposed look after them and protect them from evil. Daddy said so. So why would he be doing this to his brother. His frowned deepened. "No."

Jim glanced at Sammy before focusing again on Dean. "Dean it's all right. You have a heavy winter jacket that will protect you from the cold," Jim said softly hoping to soothe the panicking boy. "Caleb will take you and Sammy to the park. Next to the park is a coffee shop where they serve excellent hot chocolate."

"Oh man it's the best hot chocolate in town. I should know. I used to sneak off there almost everyday," Caleb said with a grin.

Jim rolled his eyes. "You started sneaking off there when you were fifteen because you thought the barista's were, and I quote; sexy, hot."

Caleb laughed. "True. I wonder if Jenny still works there."

"I doubt it," Jim said. "Dean this is important. I know it's cold outside, but you've been inside since you got back from the hospital and some fresh air will do you good."

"B-but," Dean started to protest.

"I'm not asking Dean," Jim said as gently as he could. "This is important. You need to go back outside sometime and today is as good a day as any."

Sammy scooted closer to his brother while he sat on his chair. "No scare," he said more forcefully to the pastor and felt frustrated that no one was paying attention to him.

Dean stared at the pastor. He didn't want to do it but his friend was right. As much as he wanted to there was no way he could stay in the house forever.

Jim looked at Dean and watched as his eyes turned from fearful to conflicted. He could almost hear the nine year old's internal dialogue as he fought with himself.

"Come on Dean. It'll be fun," Caleb said as he sat down at the table with a fresh coffee for himself and added hot coffee to Jim's almost empty cup.

Sammy huffed slightly and glared at Pastor Jim and Caleb. Couldn't they see his big brother was scared of going outside? He'd been hurt outside and he was afraid to go back out into the cold winter. He got off his chair and took Dean's larger hand in his. "Safe," he said firmly.

Dean looked down at his little brother and as he felt the small hand squeeze his some of his fear melted away. He swallowed heavily and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"You need to go Dean," Jim said as he looked down into his black coffee.

Dean glanced up at Jim and then out the kitchen window. The sun was out and that would mean it would be a little warmer, right?

"Safe," Sammy said louder this time as he looked up and waited for his brother to look at him. "Together."

Dean looked back at Sammy for a moment. He could see his little brother was worried about him and he sighed. "Ok Sammy but you have to take the leash. I'm not walkin' the mutt."

Sammy rolled his eyes and squeezed Dean's hand again.

"Well now that we have that settled," Caleb said as he turned to Jim. "You need to check on Jesse. I think he may have pulled a stitch on his side. No seepage but worth taking a look at."

"I'll go do that right now. Although if he pops any more on his side I'm going to use the staple gun," Jim said as he stood up.

"You say that all the time," Caleb said.

"Yeah but you scratch," Jim said.

"Hey stitches itch after a while," he said defending himself.

"I bought a brand new staple gun and it has your name all over it," Jim said. "Keep that in mind on your next hunt my boy."

Caleb laughed. "Sammy get the leash. Dean get your jacket. Let's blow this popsicle stand. I have a hankerin' for some hot chocolate."

"Hankerin? Are you feeling ok?" Dean asked.

"Oh he's quite fine. Now get ready. Caleb with me for a moment," Jim said as he left the room.

Caleb watched Dean for a moment as the boy slowly got to his feet and headed for the coat rack. Then he left the kitchen and saw Jim was waiting for him by the stairs. "So what's up?"

"I want you gone for at least four hours," Jim said.

Caleb's mouth dropped slightly. "Four hours? How am I going to keep them entertained for four hours?"

"Son you have many talents. Use your brain and come up with something," Jim said and as Caleb just stared at him he sighed. "It's a long walk to the park. Walk slow. Play slow. Drink several cups of coffee. I happen to know that Mildred is working today at the bookstore next to the coffee house. Leave Angel with her, she'll love the company and then take the boys to the movies."

"What do five and nine year olds like to see?" Caleb asked.

Jim shook his head. "Something G rated," he said with a grin.

"Well that's a movie, coffee and hot chocolate, I can throw some candy into the mix," Caleb started.

"No. No candy. The hot chocolate is fine but trust me son no M&M's. OK?" Jim asked seriously as he handed his son forty dollars.

Caleb shrugged as he pocketed the cash then gave Jim a suspicious look. "What are you up to?"

Jim smiled enigmatically. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"I hate surprises," Caleb groused.

Jim laughed. "Yeah. I know. That's half the fun. Now go on. Get out of here," he said as he started up the stairs.

Caleb shook his head. Surprises usually meant something bad was going to happen. Surprises were returning home and finding your parents dying, or coming home to find your favourite nine year old had gone on a hunt and finding your favourite five year old unsettlingly quiet and listless. Surprises were hardly fun. He was a hunter. Fun was killing, drinking and women. Caleb smiled slightly. Try explaining that to the good pastor.

He found Dean, Sammy and Angel waiting for him at the door. Dean was tying a scarf around his little brother's neck and putting a hat on his head. Angel already had her leash attached to her collar. But Dean hadn't even put his shoes on.

"Well your little brother's ready for forty below weather and you've not even put on a jacket," Caleb mused.

"I'm getting there. Just give me a minute. Not so easy with one hand you know," Dean said quietly.

Sammy looked at Caleb and shook his head. "Slow."

"That he is," Caleb said. "Dean put on your shoes. Then I'll do them up after Sammy's."

"I can do it myself," Dean shot back.

"Oh yeah cause wonders of all wonders you can tie your shoes with just your thoughts O telepathic one," Caleb said smirking.

"Jerk," Dean mumbled as he toed his shoes away from the wall.

Caleb knelt and quickly tied up Sammy's shoes. Then he did up Dean's. He looked up on the last double bow when he heard Dean hiss. "Oh no you don't. It stays in the sling."

"But Caleb," he said and almost winced at the tone of his voice. Dean Winchester did a lot of things but whining was certainly not one of them.

"Stop and ease it back in," Caleb said as he stood and held the sling steady.

Dean sighed heavily and looked down at his arm that he'd been able to pull out a measly few inches before the pain returned and shot out from his shoulder. He bit down on his lower lip as he moved it back into the sling then closed his eyes for a moment as he waited for the pain to diminish.

"Now then. The entire time we are out that arm of yours does not come out of the sling. Am I clear on that?" Caleb asked.

Dean nodded as he opened his eyes. "Crystal."

"Good," Caleb said as he reached behind the nine year old and took his jacket off the coat hook. He slipped it onto his good arm and then wrapped it around his arm. He did up the jacket keeping Dean's injured arm securely in his jacket. "Look Sammy it's the one armed man!" Caleb joked as he secured the empty arm into the jacket pocket so Dean wouldn't get cold.

Sammy smiled slightly as he looked at his older brother and then his smile quickly fled his face.

"What Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Bathroom," Sammy said.

"Oh good Lord. We're never getting out of here. Dean don't even think about taking off that jacket. Angel _watch_ him don't let him get away," Caleb said as he steered Sammy towards the bathroom.

Angel looked up at Dean and wagged her tail excitedly.

Dean watched them leave the kitchen. "This totally blows," he said and then started to step away from the back door. He froze instantly as Angel began to growl. The little dog moving to block his way. He looked down at the little dog in confusion before shaking his head and taking another step. Angel growled again.

"Oh sure now you decide to follow someone's command? Knock it off Angel I just want to sit down," Dean said and took another step.

Angel gave another low throaty growl and her muzzle rippled slightly without actually baring her teeth.

"Ok. Ok. I'll stay put," Dean said grudgingly as he let himself slide down the wall to sit on the floor and closed his eyes tiredly.

Angel moved over to him, tail wagging, and licked at his face.

"Oh sure. Now you want me to pet you? You just made me sit on the stupid floor," Dean groused. But a moment later when Angel sat down next to him he began to pet her soft fur. "You need a good brushing girl. Maybe I'll do that when we get back," he said softly taking special care to scratch her behind her ears.

"Dean?" Pastor Jim said as he came back into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Dean replied.

"Why are you still here?" Jim asked.

"Oh well after finally getting our outer wear on Sammy had to go. I should have seen that one coming," Dean said frowning.

Jim couldn't help but smile. "So then what are you doing sitting on the floor?"

"I figured he'd run so I told Angel to _watch_ him," Caleb said with a smirk as he came into the room with Sammy.

"Caleb," Jim said as he held back further remarks. Angel was never to be used against the boys. Most of her attack words were in ancient Latin and words that he was fairly certain that only he knew. How Caleb had trained her with this one he didn't know. "Not again Caleb. Understand?" He said just short of a growl under his breath as Caleb passed him.

Caleb shot him a surprised look and nodded.

"Go?" Sammy said as he stopped in front of his brother.

"No," Dean said shaking his head. "I-I could stay and help Pastor Jim?"

"No way dude. You said you were coming so you're coming," Caleb said. He walked over to Dean and helped him to his feet.

"No really. I'm sure you need my help with something?" Dean asked the pastor hoping that no one heard the nervousness of his voice.

Sammy moved closer to him and looked up. "Please?"

Dean hated that look. The pleading, wet-eyed look that would almost always get his little brother anything, usually from him. He felt himself crumble as soon as he looked at his little brother. Sighing heavily he nodded.

Caleb leaned down and took Angel's leash from where it was dragging on the floor. He opened the door and walked out with the dog. Sammy followed and waited just on the other side of the door waiting for his brother.

Dean stood there. The door opened and a blast of cold air hit him smack between his eyes. He closed his eyes against the sudden change and the kitchen fell away. He was stumbling down a rough path, nothing but trees as far as the eye could see, with no end of the trail in sight. He was never going to make it. "PASTOR JIM!" He shouted in the wilderness as his breathing increased dramatically.

"It's ok Dean. You're safe," Jim said as he knelt in front of the boy ignoring the voice in the back of his head that was saying it's too soon.

Dean heard the words and he looked around himself but all he saw were trees. "Where are you?" he shouted his voice laced with panic. "I can't see you. Where's Sammy?"

"Dean you're standing in my kitchen getting ready to go for a walk," he said calmly as he put his hand on Dean's good arm and gave a slight squeeze. "Sammy's right here with me. Come on back to us."

Dean blinked and slowly, as if he was standing in a plastic melting model of the wilderness, the trees and path melted away. He was standing in Jim's kitchen, blinking rapidly, staring at his friend. He frowned. "I Wha… Damnit!"

Jim smiled. He'd second that if he was allowed. "Watch your language."

Dean sighed. "I'm sorry."

Jim put a hand on his good shoulder. "You ok?"

Dean nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jim asked.

Dean shook his head. "I was on the trail trying to find the way back to Jesse's truck. That's all. I'm ok. Must have been the change in temperature. I - I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," Jim said giving Dean a light squeeze on his shoulder. "If you want to change your mind you can. We can try again tomorrow."

Dean considered it but shook his head. "No. I can do this. Sammy wants me to do this. I need to do this."

Jim nodded. "Good. I'll see you when you get back. Have fun."

Dean nodded and tentatively stepped outside where Caleb, Sammy and Angel were waiting for him. He squinted against the harsh sun light and Caleb handed him a pair of sunglasses.

"You ok?" Caleb asked.

"Yeah," Dean said.

"Good," Sammy said as he held up a hand.

Dean smiled down at him as he took his brother's hand and they slowly made their way down the driveway to the street.

0000000000000

Jim stood in the kitchen and watched the kids walk down the drive. Three down and some breathing room. Now if he could deal with John.

"Mornin'," a gruff voice said behind him.

"Speak of the devil," he whispered wryly. Jim turned and watched as John took the coffee pot, filled a cup that was on the counter and took a large gulp of the dark brew before refilling the mug.

John replaced the coffee pot to it's warmer and finally glanced up at Jim. "What?"

"Your boys have gone down to the park, then for hot chocolate and then for a movie," Jim said. "Thought you might want to know."

John shook his head. "I don't need Caleb to keep them busy."

"It's good for him," Jim said. "Breakfast?"

"Already have it," John said as he pulled a flask out of his shirt pocket and added the amber contents to his coffee. "Breakfast of champions."

Jim frowned. John only delved into the liquid haven when he couldn't get out of his own head. A tactic he'd seen him employ only once before. They'd just met and John had been reeling from watching his wife burn on the ceiling of his youngest son's nursery. Once he realized his children were fine with him John disappeared. Three days later he'd received a call from the local hospital. They were treating John for alcohol poisoning. Seemed like the man had tried to drink himself into oblivion. That plan had been cut short when he'd started a fight with four burly bikers. Needless to say the distraught man had lost. The hospital knew to call Jim because his card had been found in John's wallet.

When Jim had gone to see him the first thing John had asked for were his children. Once he had believed the cleric that they were fine he'd gone completely quiet. It was almost an hour before John had admitted to starting the fight. He couldn't get Mary's image out of his head burning to death on the ceiling. The alcohol gave him a few hours reprieve, though this time as soon as the images started to come back he drank more. Almost two hours later he'd finally admitted he'd started the fight with the bikers on purpose. Penance he'd said for not being able to save Mary.

Jim was afraid his friend was heading in the same direction now that he had been then.

"A little early for that isn't it?" Jim asked cautiously.

John gave him a small smile. "You may get absolution through prayer, but there is nothing like that for someone like me. I just have ways to forget for a little while."

"So you didn't go to hustle last night?" Jim asked frowning.

"Yeah actually I did. I made about three hundred," John said then looked down at his bruised and raw knuckles before taking another drink. "Then, well after I dealt with a few upset players, I went to another bar to drink."

Jim closed his eyes and took a calming breath. Damn stubborn fool.

"Been buzzed ever since," John said with a slight smile. "Can't see all my pathetic screw-ups anymore."

"John drinking won't change anything," Jim started.

"Yeah. I know. But it gives me a few precious hours to force it away so I can deal with it in bits and not all at once. Too hard all at once Jim," John said quietly. "You know that."

"John what I know is that your boys need you to be sober and I know you well enough to know that you want to be there for them," Jim said softly as he reached out and put his hand on the mug.

John closed his eyes. "Don't start."

"Do you know that both your boys are having nightmares? Dean's been in a lot of pain that he won't tell you about because he's certain if he admits it you'll think he's weak. He believes that he screwed up so bad that you won't ever let him go on a hunt again. Sammy has been having separation issues. He won't let Dean out of his sight and I know you've noticed that he's barely speaking," Jim said pulling at the mug slightly and was surprised when John gave it up.

"Of course I know," John said. "They're my children."

"Then start acting like their father," Jim bit out. "They need you John and even when you're here you're somewhere else in your head."

"I can't help it," John said softly.

"I know that you're second guessing everything that happened on that hunt. But you can't wallow in that John. It's over and done with. Now you have to be a man and deal with the repercussion for yourself and your children," Jim said.

John wearily wiped a hand down his face leaving his hand over his mouth. He sighed heavily.

Jim could see that the man's eyes were suspiciously bright and knew it was taking everything the man had to keep it all together. He put the coffee cup on the counter and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Taking Dean with you was a risk. But I know you John. I know that you did everything you could to protect your child."

"He should never have gone," John whispered as he closed his eyes. "I could've lost him."

"You still might," Jim said.

John's eyes opened wide. "What are you talking about?"

"You do realize that Dean's been trying to run damage control ever since he got here? The more damage control he does, the more he tries to deal with Sammy on his own the more he's going to realize that he is a parent," Jim said.

"He's nine years old!" John said.

"Yes he is. He's a nine year old going on thirty because of how you treat him. You expect him to be parent, soldier, son and brother. And he's doing everything he possibly can to do that except when it comes to himself," Jim said. "He believes that his pain is penance for screwing up."

"What? I already told him I was proud of him, that he did a good job. What else can I say?" John asked.

"You could try talking to him. You could try listening to him. You could try to just be there for him. Let him know he can go to you when he needs you," Jim said.

"He already knows that," John said.

"Don't be so sure," Jim said.

John pushed off Jim's hand. "I know my son. Dean will be fine in time. Sammy will be fine in time. I will be fine in time. Stop meddling in my family's life!" He ground out.

Jim sighed quietly. "John in case you haven't realized it your family is in pieces and you haven't done anything to put them back together."

"We're leaving. Which park did they go to?" John said.

"You're not leaving. First you are in no condition to drive. Second if you even try to take those children now, so help me I will make the call," Jim said and prayed the man didn't call his bluff to call in social services.

John grabbed the cleric by his shirt and slammed him into the wall. "Don't you threaten me! You can't take my children away from me! They're all I have!" John yelled holding his friend firmly against the wall.

Jim could see the anger in his friends eyes. "I don't want to but John right now you are an accident waiting to happen," Jim said then took a steadying breath. "Look why don't you go sleep off the alcohol, ok? I'll come down to get you later when the kids are back."

"No way. I'm not going to wait around for you to take my children," John shot back his anger had quickly fallen away replaced by heart wrenching fear.

"I'm only going to make that call if you try to leave now. You're in no condition to drive. John I'm trying to protect Dean, Sammy and _you_," Jim said and hoped the tormented man in front of him believed him.

John closed his eyes and moved one hand to the center of the pastor's chest while he wiped a hand down his face again.

It was a move Jim saw when he was trying to weigh the odds or try to keep calm. Then in a move that completely surprised the cleric John's head dropped so his forehead was just barely touching his shoulder. Jim could feel the man trembling and he put a tentative hand on John's shoulder knowing the man would not welcome any more comfort.

"You won't call if I get some sleep?" John asked his voice slightly muffled.

"If you go and get some sleep, and you don't drink anymore, then no I won't call them. I promise you that," Jim said. The last thing he wanted was to tear this family apart any more than they had been. "I've never lied to you and I'm certainly not going to start now John."

John nodded as he lifted his head and stepped back from his friend. "Ok. I'm kinda tired anyway," he said softly.

For a second time Jim was surprised by the man in front of him. John reached into his shirt pocket with a shaking hand and pulled out the flask. With one slight regretful look he handed the silver flask to the pastor. "That's all I have. Emptied most of the bottle at the last hotel I was in when I had to stop with Jesse."

"I believe you," Jim said. "Now go on and get some sleep. I'll come and get you when the boys come back, all right?"

"Yeah," John said and with a slightly bowed head left the kitchen.

Jim heard the stairs creak slightly as the man returned downstairs. That hadn't gone the way he'd wanted it to. He'd not wanted to use Social Services as a threat, but he couldn't have the man leave in his current state. John deserved better and so did his boys.

With a heavy sigh the pastor returned to his preparations.


	31. Day 27 December 31st part 2

**Disclaimer: **I can't believe that I keep having to admit this. In no way shape or form do I own anything in the following story. Which includes the Winchester family and their merry band of hunters, or Star Wars and their characters. Or what the hey, I don't even own the special recipe Dean references to Jim's cooking.

**Author's Notes: **Ok here is the next instalment of Day 27. Yes it is the Christmas section and I'm posting it in March. Go figure. I don't recommend giving shiny sharp things as gifts but I'm not a hunter. I don't endorse eating large heaping spoonfuls of brussel sprouts without cheese sauce but then again what do I know? Oh and the medical thing? I really don't know much about that. So what's been written has been done so in the interest of the story. I know it's not accurate, but I was more interested in telling the story.

So I don't know if you guys are no longer liking this story, or you just don't know it's here cause I'm not getting any emails from the fiction bot thingy. I'm still worried that this has maybe been dragged out a little much, but hey what can I say? I'm enjoying the hurt!Dean and protective!frustrated!Sammy. I just may need some professional help after all.

I also just wanna say whether or not you post a review thanks for sticking with the story. But hey let me know what you think good, bad or ugly (constructive ugly) because it will only help my writing. So make sure you click on the review button when you're done. I'd love to hear from you.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 27 December 31 Part 2**

True to his word Caleb kept the boys away from the house. In fact to the older teen's surprise Dean had taken to the outdoors quite nicely. Once or twice he ran into difficulty looking around with a confused look on his face. The matter was quickly resolved with reassurances from himself and his little brother.

They had taken their time to walk to the park and when they got there Sammy ran for the swings. He'd smiled in delight as Caleb pushed him high into the sky. After the swings he'd motioned Dean to join them and they'd built a snowman together. Then Caleb sat down on a park bench and watched from the sidelines.

After Dean had gotten disoriented and then brought back to where he actually was for the third time he started to head for the bench Caleb was on. But Sammy was quicker and took his hand leading him back towards the playground equipment. Then Sammy chose to play on equipment that Dean could play on or be close to and not get hurt. He didn't speak again unless they were one word reassurances for his big brother.

From the park they went and visited with Mildred at the book store for almost an hour before going to see a cartoon at the theatre. When the movie was over they'd stopped for hot chocolate for the younger boys and coffee for Caleb at the coffee house. To Caleb's delight the owner was a young attractive woman who instantly took a shine to Sammy and Dean. Caleb sauntered up to the counter to pay the bill and came back with her phone number. As they were leaving he promised that he'd call with a wink and a smile just as they walked out the door.

In truth the boys had been gone for almost six hours. They'd have been home sooner but Sammy had been tired and Caleb ended up carrying him piggyback for most of the walk home. Dean was exhausted as well and while he never mentioned it Caleb shortened his footsteps and slowed his stride. Making what should have been a twenty minute walk into a forty five minute walk.

They were greeted by a grinning pastor as they walked into the kitchen.

"Well there you boys are. I was about to send out a rescue party," Jim said. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" Sammy said excitedly then yawned and leaned back against the wall.

Caleb knelt down and untied his shoes and then did the same for Dean. "We hit the playground, the bookstore, movies and the coffee house. Oh and here's a book Mildred had for you."

"Thanks," Jim said as he looked at the title and smiled slightly. The woman had been trying for years to convince him that the Roswell grey aliens were real. This book had "absolute proof" that they existed and live bodies had been researched at Area 51.

"Head on upstairs and get changed into something dry and comfortable," Jim said as he left the kitchen and headed downstairs to wake John.

Dean looked up at Caleb with a questioning look on his face.

"Man don't even ask. I have no idea what he's up to," Caleb said as he undid Dean's Jacket. "You need help getting changed with the sling?"

"Yeah a little," Dean said slightly embarrassed.

"Ok," Caleb said as he unzipped Sammy's Jacket, helped the five year old out of it and hung it up. Then he did the same for Dean. "Let's go."

They tiredly made their way up the stairs and Caleb stopped outside the younger boy's room. "Get changed as much as you can and I'll be back to help in a minute, ok?" he said.

"Yeah thanks Caleb," Dean said and followed Sammy into the room.

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Jim retuned upstairs with John in tow and went into the kitchen. "There's aspirin on the counter next to a glass of water. Need anything else?" he asked.

"No. Well coffee," John said. "But I can make that."

"Fresh pot in the usual spot. I'm going to check on Jesse," Jim said as he left the kitchen and went into the living room. He knelt next to the couch and gently shook Jesse's arm. "Hey. Time to wake up."

"Jim?" Jesse mumbled.

"Yup it's me. Are you sure you're up for this?" Jim asked. He still had his doubts.

"I'm always ready to party," Jesse said as he struggled to sit up.

"Easy. Let me help you," Jim said softly. A few painful minutes later Jesse was sitting up and had his head back against the couch. His eyes were closed, his jaw was clenched shut and he was breathing hard. "I'm just going to check your side, ok Jesse?"

Jesse nodded against the couch back.

After Jim was done and found no bleeders or seepages from all the moving Jesse had done that afternoon he pulled his shirt back down and covered him with a blanket. "Don't move. I mean it. Anything you need will be brought to you."

"Got it," Jesse said softly.

Jim pursed his lips as he looked at the pale man sitting in front of him.

"Jeez man. You look like the world's gonna end. I'm fine. Go light the freakin' tree," Jesse said with a grin. "You've been dying to do it for hours."

Jim smiled and nodded. He went around the back of the tree and plugged in the Christmas lights. The room glowed from the light in the tree.

"Ohhh!" Sammy said as he stopped part way down the stairs.

"Hey Sammy. Remember decorating this?" Jim said with a wave of his hand.

Sammy nodded with a big smile on his face.

"Where's your brother?" Jim asked.

"Caleb," Sammy answered then turned and headed back upstairs.

"I'm glad Dean understands him," Jim said softly as his smile faded. "I need a universal translator for that boy."

"Are you kidding me?" Jesse said with a soft laugh. "Dean's with Caleb."

"Yeah probably," Jim said with a smile and headed back into the kitchen to check on John.

Caleb was just finishing working in the salve into Dean's shoulder when Sammy rushed back into the room and stopped just in front of the bed. He watched Caleb work in the medicine into his brother's shoulder for a moment before crawling up onto the bed and moving right next to his brother.

Dean opened his eyes when the bed started to move. He had been floating no where near sleeping but definitely not awake. The walk and the pain from his shoulder had tired him out. Caleb was carefully massaging his shoulder with the salve and it was enough to make him relax so he could just let go and drift.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said softly as he raised his good arm for Sammy to snuggle next to him.

"Down," Sammy said.

"Not quite yet," Caleb said softly. "Just as soon as we're done with Dean's shoulder, ok?"

Sammy nodded and leaned into his brother.

"Tired Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sammy nodded and yawned.

Caleb smirked. "Man you two are so easy to knock out."

"Hey we were gone all day," Dean defended himself.

Caleb nodded. "Yeah we were. But it's early afternoon and you two are ready to go to bed."

"Are not," Dean said as he gave a big yawn and closed his eyes. He rested his cheek on Sammy's head. "Just need a minute."

Caleb glanced down at Sammy to see his eyes were closed as well. "Looks like this is going to change Dad's plans just a little," he said with a slight smile.

He massaged a little longer then tapped Dean on his arm that was draped around Sammy. "Hey Dean you're done. I'm going to put your sling back on, ok? Then you and Sammy can go to sleep."

"Kay," Dean said sleepily.

Caleb slipped the sling on the boy and was glad when Dean didn't react. Then he gently moved Dean's arm off of his brother and moved Sammy to the head of the bed. A moment later he moved Dean as well. The boys barely even noticed being moved. He shook his head as he grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and covered the sleeping brothers.

"Thanks Caleb," Dean mumbled.

"No problem," Caleb said and paused as Sammy moved and opened his eyes.

"Down?" Sammy asked as he stared at Caleb for a moment.

"In a while. Go to sleep little one," he said softly. Sammy blinked at him for a moment before turning and snuggling into his brother. Caleb smiled and quietly left the room.

As he came down the stairs he looked at the tree. Smiling sadly at the sight he went straight into the kitchen.

"Good you're changed. I'm guessing Dean's getting changed into a clean shirt?" Jim asked.

"Ah no," Caleb said as he pulled out a chair and sat down. "They're asleep. I guess between all of the playing and walking they needed a rest. Sorry Dad. I'm guessing that you've been waiting to do this."

Jim smiled. "Not to worry. Let the young ones rest. We'll just have dinner first then open presents. Do I need to remind you what the most important part of Christmas is?"

"No. It's all about family and the birth of Christ," Caleb said. His face suddenly saddened and he whispered, "All the family that can be are here."

"They're always here with you son," Jim said softly as he put a comforting hand on Caleb's shoulder. "And I'm always here for you."

Caleb brought tear bright eyes up to meet Jim's. "I know Dad," he said as he put a hand over the pastor's hand.

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Just before six John went up into his boys room. He slowly sat on the edge of the bed next to Dean and touched his arm gently. "Dean? Time to wake up son."

Dean shifted sleepily under the covers and blinked up at his father. "Dad?"

John smiled and nodded. "Time for dinner. I want you downstairs in ten, ok?"

"Yes sir," Dean said then yawned.

"Do you want more salve for your shoulder?" John asked and he glanced over at his youngest as he tried to snuggle closer to Dean in his sleep.

"No sir. Maybe later?" Dean said.

"Just let me know when you're ready," John offered.

Dean nodded. "Sammy? Wake up little man," he said softly as he gave his little brother a gentle shake.

"Have you two been sleeping ok?" John asked and knew he'd not been doing so well with his boys when Dean looked up at him with a confused look on his face.

"We're ok," Dean said.

"Dean," John said and was cut off before he could get any further.

"We'll be down in ten sir," Dean said.

John smiled sadly and left the room. It's what he had wanted to a point. He had to make sure Dean was looking after Sammy when he couldn't. It didn't mean he wanted to be shut out of their daily lives but that seemed to have been the result. With a heavy heart he closed the door and went downstairs.

A few minutes later Dean and Sammy came into the kitchen.

"Is Jesse back to sleeping on the couch Pastor Jim?" Dean asked worriedly. "Did he get worse?"

"No. He's all right Dean," Jim said softly. "Get up to the table. Turkey's ready."

"Turkey?" Dean repeated with a surprised smile on his face. "As in cooked in an oven all day, with stuffing, mashed potatoes and sausage Turkey?"

Jim smiled at him. "The one in the same."

"All right!" Dean exclaimed. This was his all time favourite dinner that the good pastor made. Of course it also came with the pastor's famous sweet potato casserole and mouth watering pumpkin pie.

Dean waited for Sammy to get into his chair before pushing it in closer to the table. He then tucked a napkin into his brother's shirt then sat down beside him.

"Dean you would think from your behaviour that I never feed you two," John said with a smile.

"Oh you feed us Dad but most motels don't come with kitchens. And the ones that do don't come with all the secrets that Pastor Jim uses to make turkey," Dean tried to clarify.

"Special secrets huh Dad? Is that why several of the women in your congregation flock here for special dinners?" Caleb teased.

John put a platter of sliced turkey on the table then returned a moment later with a bowl of mashed potatoes and another bowl of stuffing.

Jim put the last of the food onto the table and sat down. After a quick prayer of thanks the food began being passed around the table.

Dean carefully put a little of each item onto Sammy's plate laughing as his little brother made a face at the brussel sprouts he put in front of him.

With a pout Sammy looked up at Dean. "No," he said.

Dean smiled at him as he passed on the bowl. "Hey you need to have at least two of them and Pastor Jim made some cheese sauce," he said as he ruffled Sammy's hair slightly.

Sammy pursed his lips slightly and then suddenly smiled brightly.

Dean turned to find Caleb had put a heaping spoonful of the hated green vegetable onto his plate. "Hey!"

Caleb laughed out loud. "If Sammy needs to have at least two then you should be able to have that much more cause you're older."

Dean looked up at the older teen and the indignant look changed to a smug one. "Well then you should be having at least two heaping servings. Cause you're just that much older than me."

"Well sorry kiddo I'm old enough to say no," Caleb said with a smug grin as he passed the bowl to Jim.

"Old enough and stupid enough to say that in front of your father," Jim said as he took the bowl and put two spoonfuls on his son's plate.

"Hey! What! Hold on a sec. Can we at least talk about this?" Caleb whined.

"Nope," the pastor said as he put two spoonfuls onto his plate. "John?" the cleric said as he handed the bowl to his friend.

"I'm guessing I won't hear the end of it if I don't have any of these cabbage rejects?" John said with a hint of a smile and put two spoonfuls on his plate. He actually liked them, cheese sauce or not. "Dean?"

Dean looked up just as he was about to pour the cheese sauce over Sammy's veggies. "Yes sir?"

"Just a little," John cautioned. "I want to still be able to see the green on those veggies when you're done."

Dean sagged slightly. His one reprieve had just been revoked. "Yes sir," he said softly and put a few drops of cheese sauce over his brother's veggies. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his father look away and he put a big dollop of the sauce just behind the brussel sprouts. He smiled to himself. Well you could still see the green veggies. Then he did the same to his own veggies.

"Any more cheese on that plate young man and I'll spoon more vegetables on your plate myself," John said sternly.

Dean looked up at his father expecting further reprimand but saw a twinkle in his eyes instead. He smiled at his father and relaxed slightly. "Here Caleb," he said softly as he passed the cheese sauce.

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After dinner was finished they left the dirty dishes on the table and went into the living room. Jim woke up Jesse and Caleb sat on the floor in front of the tree.

They all relaxed into their seats with contented smiles on their faces.

"That was great," Caleb said.

"Dean maybe you could learn how to cook like that," John said. "Lord knows my culinary skills are limited to what comes out of a can or out of a fast food restaurant."

"Me," Sammy said.

"Yeah Sammy you can learn too," Dean said. "Pastor Jim maybe while we're here you could show us a few things."

"I'd like that Dean," Jim said as he helped Jesse move into a more comfortable position.

"Now?" Sammy asked looking at Dean.

"No not yet. Just relax Sammy," Dean said. "Half the fun is in the antip…anticipation."

Sammy frowned, scrunched up his nose and stared at Dean.

"It means the longer you wait for it the better it is," Caleb clarified.

Sammy considered the words and then nodded.

Dean smiled and looked up at the clock. 3... 2... 1...

"Now?" Sammy asked.

"He doesn't get it Caleb," Dean said as he laughed and then turned to Sammy. "Patience little man," he said as he patted his little brother's head.

Sammy tried without success to stop his big brother.

John chuckled slightly. "No matter how much you want a dog Dean, you're not supposed to pet your brother."

Dean sighed dramatically. "Oh all right."

Caleb snickered slightly.

"Caleb do you want to hand out the gifts?" Jim asked.

Dean wasn't sure what he had been expecting but this wasn't it. He thought there may have been one gift under the tree for him with a couple for Sammy and one for Dad, Pastor Jim, Caleb and even Jesse. But the amount of gifts that began to surround him and Sammy left him in disbelief.

"Caleb are you sure these are all for us?" Dean asked.

"Yeah dude. Check out the tags if you don't believe me," Caleb said with a smile.

When the gifts were all handed out Jim looked at the two youngest boys in the room. He wasn't surprised that Dean was whispering to Sammy who's eyes were open as big as saucers.

"Do you want to start Sammy?" Jim asked.

Sammy nodded then looked up at Dean.

"Which ever one you want to," Dean said softly. "Go ahead Sammy."

Sammy looked at the pile of gifts and slowly pulled one out of the pile. With one more glance at his big brother and a nod of approval he tore into the first package with a excited rip. When the paper was gone he looked up at Dean. "Yours!"

Dean smiled. "Yeah they're just like mine. You'd better keep them on too."

Sammy nodded enthusiastically as he beamed at the small pair of gloves in front of him. They were just like his big brother's gloves right down to the strips that ran across the palm.

"Dean you're next," Jim said.

Dean smiled and pulled out a package. He glanced at Sammy. "Wanna help me?"

Sammy nodded and held the elongated wrapped box carefully but let his brother do the tearing. When the paper was gone he kept hold of the box so Dean could open it.

Dean's eyes widened as he pulled out the bowie knife out of the box then out of it's sheath. "Wow. It's beautiful Pastor Jim. Thank you," he said almost speechless.

"You're a hunter now Dean. I'll show you how to keep it clean and how to sharpen it, if you like," Jim suggested.

"Yeah. I'd like that," Dean said softly as the light shone off the blade and reflected on his smiling face.

"Caleb?" Jim said.

"Don't have to tell me twice," Caleb said as he tore into his first package. It was a worn leather bound book. Caleb smiled as he carefully opened the ancient book and read some of the Latin inside. "It's a book of spells and exorcisms."

"Yes. For your next house cleaning but it won't help you with the angry fathers my boy. You're on your own for those," Jim said.

"Thanks," Caleb said with a smile.

Jesse went next and opened a new leather Jacket. "Wow. That's just like the one I just lost," he said.

"Yeah well I figured the least I could do was replace it for you," John said gruffly.

"Winchester when I get better I'm gonna kick that regret right out of you," Jesse teased lightly.

"Like to see you try Mr Bad Assed Librarian," John shot back.

Jesse laughed softly. "Open one next."

John nodded and opened a package from Sammy. He was speechless for a moment as he looked at the item in his hand. It was a charcoal drawing from Caleb that showed him and his two boys. That made it a one of a kind gift, but what had put it over the top was it had been very carefully coloured in by Sammy. He swallowed heavily and took a deep breath as he glanced up at his youngest son. He turned the picture for all to see. "Thank you Sammy."

Sammy beamed at his compliment.

"You're next Pastor Jim," Dean said.

Jim nodded and took a package out of his pile. He carefully opened the packaging and opened the box. Inside was a self portrait of Caleb, one of Dean and Sammy, and then one final picture of Dean, Sammy, John, Caleb, John, Jim, Jesse and Joshua. "They're beautiful son. Thank you."

"Glad you like them Dad," Caleb said and was happy that his father liked them. "Sammy you're next."

Sammy nodded and picked his second package out of the group. A few rips later he pulled out two action figures - a Luke Skywalker and Han Solo which he excitedly showed his brother.

"That's cool Sammy! Luke and Han were heroes just like hunters are," Dean said. "Who gave you that?"

"I did," Caleb said.

Sammy jumped off the couch and gave the older teen a hug.

"Jeez kid. I'd hate to think what you would've done if you'd hated it," Caleb said as he patted Sammy on the back.

"Play!" Sammy said as he pulled back from Caleb.

"Sure. In a little while, ok?" Caleb said.

Sammy nodded and went back to sit next to his brother. He pointed at Dean's pile of gifts.

"Ok which one next Sammy?" Dean asked him.

Sammy reached around him and pulled out a small book shaped package.

"Hold it for me Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sammy nodded and held the package for him as he tore away the paper.

Dean smiled as he looked at the book he held in his hand. "The Hobbit. I've wanted to read this for a while. Where's the tag?" he asked.

Sammy shook his head and pointed at himself.

"Thanks Sammy. Maybe we could read this together?" Dean suggested.

Sammy nodded smiling so hard he showed his dimples.

"I guess I'm next then," Caleb said as he pondered the packages in front of him. He picked out a small box and opened it. He held up the chain looking at the boys questioningly. "How'd you know I'd lost mine a few hunts back."

"Pastor Jim told me," Dean said.

"Thanks guys," Caleb said and immediately put it on.

"How'd you lose it?" John asked.

"Zombie. Yanked it off as I staked her haunted ass to her casket," Caleb said with a grin.

"Caleb. Must I keep reminding you?" Jim said in a pained voice.

"Um yeah I guess you do. Sorry Dad," Caleb said contritely.

"You'll have to tell me about that one," Dean said. "I actually thought Zombies were only in the bayou."

"How do you know that I wasn't in the bayou?" Caleb asked.

Dean shrugged.

"Blessed," Sammy said softly.

Caleb frowned.

"We asked Pastor Jim to bless it for you," Dean said. "Cause apparently you need more protection than one medallion can offer."

"Smart ass," Caleb said and tossed a crumpled up wrapping paper ball at him.

Jim just shook his head and gave up. "Jesse?" he said and looked at the man. He was pale and sweating. He was nearing all he could take for an evening.

"Ok," Jesse said trying hard to play along. His chest was killing him but he didn't want to complain. He could tell the rest of them were having a lot of fun and he didn't want to ruin it for the rest of them. "Sammy want to help me?"

Caleb looked at the five year old and realized Sammy wasn't paying attention. He was trying to open his packages of Star Wars figures. "I'll help you Jesse. Sammy might have a hard time with this."

Jesse sat there while Caleb tore the paper off the top and with his pocket knife cut through the taped top. He opened it for Jesse to see what was inside. There was a three man tent, camping stove, and new sleeping bags.

"We went together and bought you some new camping gear. There's more out in your truck. Two more sleeping bags, propane for the stove, plates, utensils, cooking equipment, coffee pot, fly, tent pad and a few more things," John said.

"Jesse?" Jim said as he saw Caleb and John stand up in his peripheral vision.

"Sorry," Jesse said through clenched teeth. "Hurts."

"Show me," John said in a hushed tone.

Jesse pointed vaguely to his chest and John checked his wounds.

"Caleb take the boys into the kitchen. Cider should be ready," Jim softly commanded.

"Ok," Caleb said as he backed away from Jesse so Jim could see him. "Come on you two."

"Lets go Sammy," Dean said softly getting up from the couch.

"Jesse?" Sammy said his face concerned.

"He'll be ok Sammy. Dad and Pastor Jim know how to look after him," Dean said and when his brother didn't move he held out his hand. "Sammy?"

Sammy looked at him and nodded looking sad. He held onto his brother's hand tightly and walked into the kitchen where he saw Caleb leaning over a pot on the stove.

"Spiced apple cider?" Caleb guessed then frowned. "Nope. It's not apple cider."

"What is it?" Dean asked softly taking his hand out of his little brother's and wrapping his arm around Sammy's shoulders.

Caleb hovered over the pot for a moment and took a deep breath. "Huh. Cranberry cider. Cool."

"Cranberry cider?" Dean asked as he raised an eye brow. "Are you sure we should drink that?"

"Yeah. Of course we should. This stuff is great. Jim actually makes it from scratch," Caleb said. "He only does this for special occasions. It's more rare than his pumpkin pie."

Dean nodded and ushered his little brother to sit at the table. He went over to the stove where Caleb was ladling cider into mugs and took a mug from him.

"Careful when you turn. You're shadow's back," Caleb whispered as he let go of the mug.

Dean nodded and turned carefully to find Sammy standing right behind him. "Sammy go sit down."

Sammy looked up at him with worried eyes.

"Jesse will be ok. He's been through a lot. More than me or Dad," Dean said and sighed as his little brother just kept looking at him. He sighed louder when Sammy reached out and grabbed Dean's shirt. "It's ok Sammy. Really. Everyone's going to be ok."

Caleb reached over and took the mug away from Dean. He put the mug on the counter and knelt in front of Sammy. "Stop worrying so much little one. Dean's right. Everyone's going to be ok. Jesse just has more owies than your Daddy or Dean. They're just going to take longer to heal. And they tire him out faster. But he's ok, really."

Sammy looked from Caleb up to Dean and shook his head.

"No what Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Caleb! Get up here with the medical bag," John yelled from upstairs.

Caleb rolled his eyes before standing up and putting his hand on Sammy's head for a second. "I see your father has mastered the art of subtlety," he said to Dean before he hustled out of the room.

"Hey Sammy?" Dean said and waited for his brother to look at him. "I'll bet you can take one of these mugs over to the table and not spill a drop."

Sammy glanced at the mugs on the counter then back to his brother an scowled.

"Is that a no?" Dean asked then mocked sighed. "Well I can only carry one of these on my own. So you need to take one to the table if you want to drink it. I think you'll really like this Sammy. Don't you think it smells good?"

Sammy glanced at the mugs again. "Help?"

"Sure," Dean said and took a mug off the counter then handed it to his brother holding it just out of his reach. "You need to let go of my shirt first or we'll both end up on the floor covered in cider."

Reluctantly Sammy let go and carefully took the mug from his brother. Holding it steady in both hands he waited for Dean to take a mug for himself then slowly walked to the table.

"Hey good job Sammy!" Dean said with a smile as Sammy put his mug on the table without spilling a drop.

Sammy turned to his brother frowning. "Hurts?"

"What hurts Sammy?" Dean asked as he put his own mug down. "Show me where."

Sammy shook his head and pointed at Dean's shoulder.

Dean sighed. He was really getting tired of this. He had to get his little brother to snap out of it. "I'm fine."

Sammy suddenly went from looking concerned to angry and crossed his arms. "Lie!"

Dean looked down at his brother. He had been trying to protect him to make him not worry. "Look Sammy my shoulder and arm are going to take a while to heal. Some days are going to be better than others. Right now it's a little sore but it's been worse so to me it feels ok. When we're done opening the gifts I'll get Dad to put more salve on it. But it really is ok."

Sammy looked at him for a few moments before uncrossing his arms. "Tell me."

Dean frowned. Isn't that what he just did? "Tell you what Sammy?"

"Hurts," Sammy said like it explained everything.

Dean went down to his knees to he was eye level with his brother. "I just told you."

"NO!" Sammy yelled and stomped his foot feeling completely frustrated.

"Easy. Sammy you're not giving me a whole lot to go on here. You have to talk to me, tell me what's bothering you so I can fix it," Dean said gently.

Sammy huffed slightly before leaning forward and resting his head on Dean's shoulder. "Scared," he whispered and ghosted his finger over the sling.

Dean sighed and wrapped his good arm around his little brother. This just showed him how well he wasn't doing dealing with Sammy's fears. Time for yes or no answers he thought cause that was the only way he was going to get anywhere.

"Are you scared for me?" he asked.

Sammy nodded.

"You don't have to be. I'm ok. My shoulder and wrist will heal up as good as new," Dean said and a thought occurred to him. "Did I scare you yesterday?"

Sammy stiffened slightly then shook his head.

Dean smiled to himself. Bingo. "I did scare you yesterday when the doctor was here and I passed out, didn't I."

Sammy sniffed and brought his arms around Dean. "Hurt you," he said and sniffled again.

Dean felt the top of his shirt get wet and he gently rubbed his hand up and down Sammy's back. "Sammy the doctor didn't hurt me on purpose. He had to fix my arm or it wouldn't heal properly." Dean said.

"Again," Sammy said.

Dean frowned. Again what? He thought to himself and then it came to him. "Yes I need to see the doctor again, but I'm pretty sure he won't do that again. He already knows what the problem is he just needs to see if it's healing ok," he said and when he went back to the doctor Sammy was definitely staying here.

"No," Sammy said and held onto Dean tighter.

"Hey it's ok," Dean said as Sammy started to shake.

"Stay," Sammy whispered.

"We are staying," Dean said.

"Promise," Sammy whispered.

"I promise," Dean said.

Sammy nodded.

"You know we're wasting perfectly good cider," Dean said.

"Hey you guys coming? We're going to open the rest of our gifts," Caleb said as he came back into the kitchen.

"How's Jesse?" Dean asked.

"He'll be ok. You're dad wanted the medical bag for some morphine to kill Jesse's pain," Caleb said as he crouched next to the boys. "Hey little one. Too much for one day?"

"Sammy's a tough one. He'll be ok," Dean said softly as he continued to rub his brother's back. "We have more presents to open. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"I'll take the cider into the living room. Put a cold towel over his eyes for a minute or they'll be asking questions," Caleb said when Sammy didn't respond.

Dean nodded and waited for Caleb to fill the rest of the mugs with the cider, but them onto a tray and go out into the living room. He pulled Sammy off of his shoulder. "Ok Sammy?"

Sammy nodded and looked down. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Hey," Dean said sharply and waited for his little brother to look at him. "Don't ever be sorry for talking to me. I don't care what it is I want you to tell me if your happy, sad, scared, or whatever you're feeling. Or even what you dreamed about the night before I want you to tell me, ok?"

Sammy nodded. "Ok Dean," he said softly.

Dean nodded and smiled. "All right then. Let's get you cleaned up."


	32. Day 27 December 31st part 3

**Disclaimer: **Nope I still do not own the Winchesters, Pastor Jim, Caleb, The Hardy Boys, Lord Of the Rings and it's characters, Star Wars and it's characters, or any runes or protective amulets. Although the way the past week has gone it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some. While I may own copies of Twas the Night Before Christmas, and The Polar Express (book and movie), and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas (book, movie and cartoon) I do not own the contents. They belong to their respective authors. Oh and if I've missed anything - I own nothing recognizable in the following story. Just wish Angel was mine. Seriously.

**Author's Notes: **Thanks out to lynlan for the beta. This makes so much more sense now. LOL.

Thank you to all the new reviewers that put in their comments! Nice to hear from you. And for my usual reviewers I hope I've responded to all of you. As the reviews have been good I'll keep going.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 27 December 31 Part 3**

A short while later John looked up to see his sons come out of the kitchen. His eyes narrowed as he looked at his children. Something was wrong. Sammy's face was flushed and his eyes were slightly red as if he'd been crying. He was walking so close to Dean he wasn't sure how he wasn't bumping into his older brother with each awkward and stiff step. He was about to say something when Dean reached out and put his hand on Sammy's shoulder.

Sammy seemed to instantly relax as he looked up at his big brother almost as if he was reassuring himself that his sibling was there. Dean smiled down at him making Sammy relax even more. Dean kept his hand on his little brother's shoulder as they made their way to the couch.

John looked away. Another piece of proof that his sons didn't really need him. Sammy needed Dean and all that Dean needed was a safe place to live. His children didn't need him, they didn't come to him when things were wrong or when they needed help.

Damnit they were his children. They should be coming to him for everything. They were getting too close to the pastor and his son. It was time to go. Dean was getting lax. He didn't have to protect his little brother here. He didn't have to do anything here Jim and Caleb were looking after everything for his children. His skin almost itched with the need to flee this place.

"Dad? You ok?" Dean asked.

John blinked and looked down at his son standing in front of him. His oldest boy looking up at him with such concern that he almost couldn't breathe.

"Dad?" Dean repeated and put his hand on his dad's arm.

"Yeah Dean. I'm ok. Just thinking," John said and forced a slight smile. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he pushed the anger. His children did need him and they needed him to be strong, not to sit here and wallow in his own insecurities.

"Well if you're back to us now John it's your turn to open a present old man," Caleb said with a smile.

"Don't forget I can knock you into next week with one hand tied behind my back," John shot back to Caleb then he turned back to Dean who was still looking up at him worriedly. His forced his smile to widen and put his hand on his son's hand that was still resting on his arm and gave him a reassuring gentle squeeze. "Go sit down Dean."

Dean looked at him for a minute more and the concern fell away as his usual mask took it's place. The mask faltered slightly as he pulled his arm out of his father's grasp. He knew something was off but he wasn't sure what. But he knew his father looked very angry a second ago and he was afraid that his Dad was just going to get up and walk away.

Dean looked away then back at John as if he wanted to say something and pursed his lips like he was having an internal dialogue and he was rethinking whatever it was he wanted to say. Sighing he nodded and returned to the couch.

John watched his son for a moment with a feeling of failure pooling in his stomach. He felt like he'd just given his son the wrong answer then pushed the thought away. He was the parent here and he was the one who was supposed to do the worrying. All Dean had to do today was open his Christmas presents, have some fun and rest his injuries. He looked at the presents next to him and looked at his white cast. He seriously wanted to rip the hated material off his arm. He sighed and then he picked up a package. He opened it and then opened the wooden box it came it. Almost reverently he took the pistol out of the box and ran a hand down the barrel. "Jim it's amazing."

"Thought you might like it. It's fairly old and well maintained. There's even a protection inscription on the underneath of the barrel. Quite an interesting piece," Jim said. "One of my parishioners had come across it after their Grandfather had passed away. They didn't know what to do with it and I saved it from being turned over to the police or to an antiques dealer."

As John looked over the old weapon Jim pulled another gift out of the pile. Jim ripped the paper off the oddly shaped package. Once the paper was gone the item was wrapped in velvet cloth. Carefully he unrolled the item from the material and his breath caught in his throat. It was a silver knife with runes carved down the side. The weapon was amazing and would make a great addition to the other old weapons he kept behind a false wall in the basement.

"John how, where, I mean…," Jim said and then realized he didn't know what to say.

"I found it after I finished a job," John said. "It's not like the demon was going to need it anymore. And from what I saw it actually couldn't touch it."

Caleb frowned. "That doesn't make sense."

John turned to him and gave him a look. "Oh and everything that we come into contact with makes sense to you?"

"Well, ahh, I… Hmmm," Caleb sputtered slightly then turned to the boys on the couch. "Sammy you're up little one."

Sammy looked at him then to Dean.

"Well you have one left. I suggest that one," Dean said.

Sammy nodded and then slowly ripped open the large heavy package. He frowned as it was just a large plain cardboard box. Looking over at Dean he pointed to the taped top.

"Give me a sec," Dean said and pulled out his new bowie knife. "Don't move Sammy. I mean it."

Sammy nodded and watched as the large knife sliced through the tape and freed the flaps to open.

Dean put the knife back into the sheath. "There you go."

Sammy sat up and opened the flaps of the box. Inside were several blue hard bound books. Tentatively he reached in and pulled one out. He looked at the cover and then showed it to his brother.

"It's a book about two young boys that solve mysteries," Jim said.

"The Hardy Boys?" Dean asked.

"I used to read those when I was Sammy's age," John said and when his older boy frowned at him he explained. "My older brother used to read to me before I went to bed every night. Kind of what you do with Sammy. Anyways I was five or six when he started me on The Hardy Boys and when I was older I would read them on my own."

Dean leaned over and looked into the box. "There's got to be like twenty books in there," he said with a grin.

"There should be something else in there," Jim said.

Sammy looked into the box and moved a few of the books and brought out a large bag of Jelly Beans. He smiled at his favourite candy. "Thank you," he said softly as he looked between Pastor Jim and his father.

Dean took the box off his lap. "Go say thank you properly."

Sammy jumped off the couch and gave a hug to the pastor. Then he went to his dad and held his arms out.

John reached down and pulled him into his lap. Sammy's small arms came up and encircled his father's neck. He held on tightly for a moment.

"Thanks Daddy," he whispered.

John held onto his youngest for a moment. "We can read one later if you want," he offered and could see Dean frown slightly on the couch.

"No," Sammy said softly.

"No?" John repeated. "I used to read to your older brother before he went to sleep you know."

Sammy nodded into John's neck. "Dean."

John paused and looked over at his oldest.

Dean smiled. "Well that one is a little cryptic. I don't think he's saying no to you reading to him Dad. I think he wants you to read to both Sammy and me."

Sammy nodded into John's chest.

"Sure. I'll do that tonight, ok Sammy?" John said.

Sammy nodded again. "Down?"

John lifted him back onto the floor and Sammy hurried back to his big brother.

Dean took his last parcel and placed it on his lap. He tore through the paper and frowned. He also had a plain cardboard box. Taking his bowie knife he sliced through the tape holding the flaps closed. He opened it and there were three items inside. He pulled out the package of green and red M&M's first and then the two other wrapped items. He put the now empty box onto the floor.

"Stop," Sammy said as Dean reached for one of the packages.

"Is there a special order that this goes in Sammy?" Dean asked.

Sammy nodded and looked over at Caleb.

"The big one and then the small one," Caleb said. "The big one is from me and then the small one is from your Dad."

"Ok," Dean said then looked at Sammy. He handed him the big package and Sammy held it while he opened it. Three books appeared when the paper was torn away. All three books for the Lord of the Rings. They were well worn copies but Dean didn't care. He put the books down and then opened Fellowship of the Ring. He frowned as he thumbed through the pages to find there were notes on some of the pages in the margins.

"Those used to be mine. The notes in the books are about specific fighting moves that I associated with the descriptions in the book," he said and shrugged. "It helped me visualize some of the fighting sequences."

"You used to hide in those books for hours," Jim said softly.

Caleb nodded. "I used to imagine myself as Aragorn protecting the hobbits and fighting for the side of good. The only draw back to the character was that he only got one woman. He could've had so many more."

John started to laugh out loud and Dean smiled.

"You have a lot to learn, my boy," Jim said as he rolled his eyes.

Dean slowly opened the last of his presents and frowned as he took out a funny looking amulet on a black leather cord. "Um, thanks?" he said to his father.

John chuckled lightly at his son's reaction. "Yeah I know it's not a normal St. Christopher's amulet."

"What is it?" Dean asked as he held it out and let it dangle on the string. Actually he kind of liked it.

"The name is not important. It's a protection amulet," John said as he got up and took the amulet from his son. "The amulet will not only protect you, but the ones you care about. Someone like Sammy. But it only works as long as you wear it. Once it comes off it will no longer protect you or anyone else."

Dean closed his eyes as his father leaned over him and tied the amulet around his neck.

John straightened up and then crouched in front of him to see how it hung. Then he took Sammy's small hand and put it over the Amulet.

"Daddy?" Sammy said looking confused.

John ignored him and placed his hand over Sammy's holding it in place over the amulet. He pressed down slightly holding Sammy's hand firmly in place over the amulet and against Dean's chest. He closed his eyes murmured a few words in what sounded like Ancient Latin.

Dean clenched his jaw tightly as he felt a wave of vertigo and nausea sweep through him and he opened his eyes to get oriented as Sammy whimpered slightly beside him.

John pulled away his hand placed it on his son's good shoulder. Satisfied his ancient Latin words were correct he pinned his son with a serious stare. "This never comes off voluntarily, understood?"

Dean nodded. "Yes sir."

John smiled and moving his hand away from Dean's chest and cupped his face. "Good boy," he said softly. Then he got up and went back to his chair.

Sammy inched closer to his big brother as he looked questioningly at his father's back then down to his tingling hand.

Without thinking about Dean wrapped his arm around his little brother and held him close to his side for a minute. He didn't understand what had just happened and it looked like his father wasn't going to explain. He waited for the dizziness to pass he looked down at his baby brother. Sammy looked pale and a little confused about what had just happened. Dean frowned as he realized his brother was staring down at his hand.

"Ok Sammy?" he whispered.

Sammy looked up at him and nodded then looked down to his small hand.

Dean took his arm away and then took the smaller hand in his. It was cooler than he thought it should be and he held it in his larger hand to warm it up for a minute. "Better?" he asked.

Sammy nodded again and then looked over at Caleb as he leaned against his brother's shoulder.

"Well that leaves little ol me," Caleb said with a big grin as he just about started to tear into his last package when he ripped off his package of M&M's that was taped to the box. "I love these things," he said and then continued to tear his last package open.

He stared at it for a moment. "It's… It's a cellular phone," he said.

"Yes it is. That is so I can find you wherever you are playing. Then you can haul ass to my location to help me with whatever hunt I'm working on," John said. "This is not a toy. If I hear you've been giving out that number to the pretty little things you like to play with I will personally take your training to a new level of painful callisthenics, understood."

Caleb laughed. "Yeah John I got you. This is so cool."

John smiled as he picked up his last package. It was soft under the gift wrap and he glanced at his oldest son who wouldn't look at him. Frowning slightly he opened the package and found an old marine green jacket. It was just like the one he'd had when he was in the Marines. Just like the one he'd lost the night of the fire. It had burned like the rest of their possessions.

"I um remembered you looking at one once when were shopping for clothes at a second hand store a few months back. There were a couple of kinds but I thought this was the right type," Dean said softly as he played with a string from the sling.

"Yeah Dean. It's perfect," John said softly. He stood up and tried it on. It fit him perfectly.

Finally Jim took his last package. It was small and made a funny noise like small pieces of metal moving against each other. Carefully, as if afraid whatever it was had broken, he opened the package. He removed the top of the small box and was surprised to find several charms inside. "New wards?" he asked confused.

"Yeah," Dean said as he paled slightly.

"Yeah you know kinda like renewing home insurance sometimes you have to update the wards and the permanent salt lines," Caleb said easily. He knew the actual reason. Dean had finally told him in secret of his nightmare with Jesse's spirit and he had offered to get new wards for the house and yard. He'd also help Jim put the new wards in place and make sure the old ones stayed right where they were. After all a little more protection for his father couldn't hurt.

Jim looked between Caleb and Dean. "Thank you," he said softly.

Dean nodded without looking up. His shoulder was hurting and he felt tired. He just wanted to lay his head back and fall asleep but he couldn't do that. He didn't want to miss out on anything. He took a deep breath through his nose and slowly let it out of his mouth. A pain controlling technique that his dad had shown him at some point.

"Left," Sammy said pointing to a few gifts left under the tree.

"Oh yeah," Caleb said with a small laugh. "Those are for Angel. Wanna go get her Sammy?"

Sammy nodded and got off the couch.

Dean winced as Sammy got off the couch but didn't say anything.

"Caleb do me a favour and get the salve?" John asked quietly.

"Sure," Caleb said and hurried up the stairs.

"I'm ok," Dean said softly.

"I'm going to get more cider. You guys want more?" Jim asked as he stood up and grabbed his mug. He didn't really want more cider but to give Dean some time with his father.

Dean shook his head.

"No Jim I'm good," John said not taking his eyes off his son.

Dean glanced up at his father feeling him staring at him. "I'm ok dad really."

John snorted. "Sure you are. Damnit Dean you don't have to be in pain all the time. It's not necessary and I seem to recall you promising me that you would let me know when you were in pain."

"It's not bad. I can handle it," Dean said.

John sighed and got up. He walked over and sat down where Sammy had been next to his oldest son. "You don't have to do it alone."

"But I will," Dean said just above a whisper. "You won't stay no matter what you told Sammy. You can't stay in one place for more than a few weeks. Spending months in one place drives you crazy. Sammy and I stayed in that cabin for over six months but you were only there for a couple of days. You need to be constantly moving, searching and fighting. I understand why you do that and it's ok Dad. But you won't always be here. I need to be able to deal with this on my own."

His son's words ripped through his heart and the truth filled speech hurt him more than he would ever admit to. He couldn't stand to take a day away from hunting evil. It's what kept him going. It made him feel like he was doing something to make up for not being there for Mary and allowing her to die in such a horrid fashion. But it was never ever supposed to hurt his sons like he had been so obviously doing.

John ran his hand through his hair and sighed heavily. God when had his nine year old turned thirty? Closing his eyes for a moment he pushed away his thoughts. He could deal with his own inadequate parent skills later. This wasn't about him it was about being there for his son when he needed him most.

"Dean you will come to me so I can help you," John said softly.

"Yes sir," Dean said.

John reached out and pulled Dean's face up to look him in the eye. "I mean it."

Dean nodded. "Yes sir but I really am ok. I don't need the salve yet. I will come to you later when I do. I promise," he said softly.

John nodded. "Ok Dean."

Sammy came into the room with Angel on his heels.

Caleb came down the stairs and handed John the salve. Then he gave Angel a quick petting before sitting down in front of the tree again. "Hey Angel these are for you."

Angel wagged her tail and ran circles around Caleb for a moment before sitting next to him.

"Hey Sammy why don't you open these for her?" Caleb suggested.

The five year old sat down on the floor and opened the first package. In it was a new collar and he handed it to Caleb. He watched as the nineteen year old took off the old worn collar and replaced it with the new one.

Then Sammy opened up the second package. He showed it to Angel, let her sniff at the package and then gave it to Caleb as well.

"Thanks Sammy," Caleb said and tore it open.

"Man what is that smell?" Dean asked.

"It's beef jerky for dogs. Angel loves it," Caleb said and proved it by getting Angel to shake a paw, and roll over in order to get a piece. "See?"

"I thought she liked those bone things," Dean said.

"Oh she has one of those too," Caleb said as he pulled out a small rawhide bone from under the tree.

Dean smiled. "You stuck a big red bow on it?"

"Yup," Caleb said as he patted Angel. "They should be included in the gift giving. They are family, after all," he said then gave her another piece of jerky.

Dean nodded.

0000000000000

A while later after the turkey dinner and the living room had been cleaned up Dean took Sammy upstairs.

"Bath time Sammy. Go on into the bathroom and I'll be there in a minute, ok?" Dean said.

Sammy nodded and headed down the hallway.

Dean grabbed Sammy's sleep clothes from the bedroom and hurried into the bathroom hoping his little brother hadn't made a mess. He was surprised to find his little brother sitting on the edge of the tub waiting patiently. He was about to ask Sammy if he was ok when the child yawned and wavered slightly.

Dean reached around him and turned on the water for his bath. "Come on Sammy I know you're tired but the sooner you get in the sooner you can get out."

"Okay," Sammy said and started taking off his clothes.

Dean added the bubble bath to the water and when the tub was full enough he turned off the water. Holding out one hand he helped Sammy into the tub. He made quick work on washing his little brother as Sammy just sat there. Dean knew he was tired if he didn't ask for any toys to play with.

"No don't close your eyes Sammy. You need to stay awake. I can't carry you right now," Dean said loudly.

Sammy huffed quietly. "Sleep," he mumbled.

Dean quickly washed his hair. "Sammy close your eyes but don't fall asleep," he said loudly again.

Sammy sighed and closed his eyes. He waited for the water to fall over him, then for the flannel to dry his eyes before opening them again. "Done?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah Sammy. We're done now," Dean said. "Stand up."

Sammy stood up dripping water back into the tub and closed his eyes.

Dean smiled and decided he could at least try to lift out his brother. Stepping closer he was about to hug his brother to his chest when he heard a voice behind him.

"Dean if you're going to try to lift him out we're going to have a long talk about looking after yourself," John said as he walked into the bathroom. "Let me get him."

Dean frowned at him. "Really?"

"Yeah really. I used to do this for you," John said and effortlessly lifted Sammy out of the tub then gently put him down onto the bath mat. He took the towel from Dean and wrapped Sammy in it.

"Daddy?" Sammy said sleepily.

"Yeah it's me. I've got you," John said.

Dean backed up a bit giving his father room to dry off Sammy and then when he was done took over the clothes. He held them as his father dressed his little brother. This was wrong. He was supposed to do this. He looked after Sammy not his father. His father would just leave again leaving him to deal with all of Sammy's questions as to why daddy wasn't there anymore.

"Want Dean," Sammy said as he rubbed at one eye.

Dean's frustration quickly faded. "I'm here."

"Come on. Let's get you into bed Sammy," John said softly as his youngest tried to push away.

"No," Sammy whined. "Dean."

"I can't carry you Sammy. Just let Dad take you to the bedroom, ok?" Dean said.

Sammy didn't answer but he allowed himself to be picked up and then rested his head onto his dad's shoulder.

Quietly they walked into the bedroom and Dean pulled back the covers. Gently John laid Sammy into the bed and Dean pulled up the covers.

"Sleep well Sammy," John said as he leaned down and kissed his forehead. He brushed his hair back slightly before backing away slightly. "Downstairs Dean."

"Yes sir," Dean said softly and looked at his little brother. Sammy wouldn't fall asleep totally without a story or without him there with him. He'd drift then wake up and want to play.

Dean followed his father down the stairs.

"Sit sideways on the couch with your hurt shoulder out," John said.

Dean looked at his father and knew somehow that this was going to hurt. "You know it's ok. It doesn't hurt."

"Damnit Dean!" John said loudly and then sighed as Dean flinched. Taking deep calming breaths he went over to the dining room table. He was exhausted and his own broken wrist hurt. All he wanted to do was blank out his pain but he knew better than to take his anger out on his son. His own father had taken his anger out on him and he'd hated the man until the day he died. He never wanted his sons to feel that way about him. He took the salve off the dining room table and turned to his son.

"Dean you've been wincing for quite some time. Sit on the couch," he said and was careful to keep his tone low and hopefully non threatening.

"Yes sir," Dean said quietly. He sat down and pulled on the first Velcro strap.

"Here let me," John said as he leaned down beside him and gently removed his brace.

"Why are you doing this Dad?" Dean asked.

John put the brace on the coffee table and looked at his son. He sighed. God he must be worse than his father as Dean looked up at him apprehensively.

"You're in pain and you can't do this for yourself. I should have been doing this since the beginning."

"But what about Jesse?" Dean asked.

John frowned. "What about Jesse?"

"Did you check on him too?" Dean asked.

"The last time I checked on Jesse is when we moved him upstairs," John said as he helped Dean get his shirt off.

Dean frowned. He didn't get it. Why was he suddenly helping him now? Had he been looking after Sammy wrong? That must have been it. He'd done something wrong with Sammy. He'd treated his little brother badly since coming back. He'd disappointed his father and now Dad would put down the law. He'd have to be shown how to do things right before his Dad would leave again. He'd screwed up everything. He looked up at his father who had his fingers in the jar of salve. "I'm sorry," he whispered and then lowered his head as if waiting for the litany of charges.

John frowned. "Why are you sorry?"

"I've messed everything up. I haven't looked after Sammy good enough. I'm sorry," Dean said with his head still bowed.

John put the jar onto the table with a large thunk as he was trying to reign in his temper. Christ here he was trying to make things up to his oldest son and Dean was acting like he was being punished. He wanted to yell at him and shake some sense into his child. Instead he took another deep breath to try and calm himself. "Dean be quiet."

"Yes sir," Dean whispered.

John sat on the couch behind his son and began to rub the salve into the badly bruised shoulder. The room was silent for a while before John finally broke the silence. "Dean do you think I'm angry with you?"

Dean's head came up slightly. "I… I'm not really sure sir," he said quietly. "But if I were you I think I would be mad at me."

John blinked at the sentence in surprise. In truth it was the opposite. Dean had every right to be furious with him. "Tell me why you think I'm upset with you," he said softly.

Dean closed his eyes. He really hated these kind of discussions. These were the kind that he ended up admitting to stuff his father had no idea about. "The hunt. Jesse and you got hurt trying to protect me and it took forever to get help for you. I can't get Sammy to speak more than one or two words at a time and I keep messing up my shoulder. I cost more money than I'm worth."

John hand froze on Dean's shoulder. God is that what his son thought? He cost more money than he was worth? Jesus when had he gotten an idea like that from?

Dean whimpered slightly.

John immediately removed his hand from Dean's shoulder. He took another calming breath and picked up the jar of salve. He cleared his throat. "How to you figure?"

"Sammy's my responsibility. I haven't been looking after him very well and he's hardly speaking. Hospitals and doctors cost a lot of money. At least two week's hustle per day. I should've been more careful. I'll find a way to make it back. I'll get a job or something," Dean said knowing that his father's calmness would get even more quieter and calmer the angrier he got. Sometimes he thought it would be easier if he just yelled.

"Dean," John said quietly as he started to gently massage the shoulder again. "I'm not angry or upset with either you or Sammy. I know that Sammy can't help what he feels although it's frustrating that I can't seem to help him. You are doing a great job with him. You always do."

"But," Dean started to say not ready to get absolution from his father.

"I also know that you did everything that you could to get help back to me and Jesse while we were in the cave. Jesse are alive right now because of you, because you were able to get us help. I should have never taken you on that hunt Dean. None of this should have happened. No matter what you are thinking I am proud of how you handled that hunt. You know what? Your first hunt should have been a simple salt and burn."

"You said no hunt was simple," Dean whispered.

John nodded with a slight smile. "That's right. There are so many things that could go wrong with a salt and burn that it should be the introduction to hunting. Instead I haul you off to some icy forest in the middle of nowhere where you almost died."

"You almost died too," Dean said quietly. "The first type of hunt doesn't matter Dad. It just needs to be successful. I failed."

John sighed. This wasn't working at all. He got up and moved to where he could see his son's face. He wasn't surprised to see Dean's eyes half closed with exhaustion. The pain took most of his energy and he still looked after his little brother without complaint.

"Dean look at me," he said and waited for Dean to do as he was told. "I am proud of you. You handled yourself very well on the hunt. You did not fail."

Dean frowned heavily. "No sir that's not true," he said and then jumped slightly as the phone rang.

John put his hand on Dean's good shoulder to try and calm him but it just made his son look away from him. "Listen Dean," he started then stopped as Pastor Jim came into the room.

"John? Joshua's on the phone for you," Jim said and looked at Dean. "I can finish this up if you want?"

John sighed again. He didn't know how much plainer he could be to Dean about this. On top of that he felt guilty that he was relieved that he was being called away by a phone call. "Dean we'll talk about it later," he said softly as he got up and nodded at Jim. "Thanks."

"I didn't mean to upset him," Dean said softly as he watched his father walk away.

"I know," Jim said as he sat down next to the boy. "How's the shoulder? Does it need more salve?"

Dean shook his head. "No. It's completely numb."

"Ok. Are you going to be up for a while?" Jim asked.

Dean looked up at him. "Why?"

Jim smiled at him. "Well I remember when Caleb hurt his shoulder a few years back that it was easier to sleep with a sling without a t-shirt on. It just ends up being one big painful mess about three am. So if you're heading to bed then I'll just help you get your sling on. If you're going to be up for a while then I'll help you with your shirt and then your sling."

"I'll be up for a while yet," Dean said.

"T-shirt it is," Jim said picking up the garment off the table.

When Dean was dressed and the sling had been securely fastened Jim returned to his study. Dean headed for the stairs and paused on the first step. His father was on the phone talking seriously and he was sure he just heard the word poltergeist. Shaking his head he went up the stairs. He needed to check on Sammy.

He stopped in the doorway and smiled. All traces of anger and fear slowly went away as he watched his brother play on the bed with his action figures. Sammy had moved the comforter into one pile and had the pillows strategically placed. Dean knew exactly what part of the movie this was and shook his head.

"So out of all the movies you chose this part?" Dean asked.

Sammy jerked his head up, dropped the action figures and stared at his brother.

"Solo wasn't even in this part of the movie," Dean said as he came into the room. "Luke's not even made his way off the family moisture farm."

"Play?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know Sammy. You're supposed to be sleeping. But," Dean said as he pursed his lips and made it look like he was giving serious consideration. He picked up the Han Solo plastic piece. Come on Sammy ask me to play again he thought.

"Please? Not tired," Sammy said as he rubbed at his eye.

Dean resisted the urge to jump up and scream yes! at the three words that just came out of his baby brother's mouth. Instead he gave a mock sigh. "Ok Sammy but just for a few minutes."

Sammy smiled so hard that his dimples showed and Dean couldn't help but smile back.

Dean played with his brother for almost a half hour. It wasn't easy playing Han Solo with a mute Luke Skywalker, but it wasn't all that difficult either. He knew his little brother was ready to sleep for real when he yawned and leaned against his brother.

"Ok Sammy. We'll play more tomorrow, ok?" Dean said.

Sammy nodded and sighed. "Read?" he asked.

Dean nodded as he took the action figure out of his brother's hand. "Sure. Hardy boys? I think I saw the first book in there," he said.

Sammy sat up quickly. "No."

"No? No what?" Dean asked and sighed as his little brother didn't elaborate. "Sammy you need to tell me what you want," he said softly. "

Sammy nodded. "Christmas," he said as if that made all the sense in the world.

Dean shook his head. "Christmas what? I'm sorry little man, but I don't know what you're asking for," he said. That wasn't completely truthful, but he wasn't certain either. There were a few Christmas books his little brother loved. There was Twas the Night Before Christmas, and The Polar Express, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. They were the top three but he wasn't sure which one he meant.

"Promised!" Sammy said.

Dean nodded as if he totally understood now. "Yeah I did. How about you go get it and I'll read it to you?"

Sammy nodded and went over to the book shelf.

As Sammy searched for the story he wanted Dean put the action figures on the side table then clumsily righted the sheets.

Silently Sammy picked out the right book and hurried back to the bed triumphantly handing it to his brother.

"Ah the classic," Dean said as he looked at the book. "I used to love it when Mom read this to me."

Sammy didn't say anything just climbed into bed and sat back against the pillows. "Tell."

Dean smiled softly. "You want the story or do you want to know about mom?"

"Both?" Sammy asked

Dean sighed. "I don't think you could keep awake for both," he said as he sat back next to his brother and started to read the story. Five pages in Sammy was sound asleep snuggled next to his big brother but Dean read it to the end.

Easing himself away from his sleeping sibling Dean eyed the pile of laundry in the corner of the room and knew he had to get it started. Taking a used towel he lay it out on the floor and put the dirty clothes on top of it. Then he rolled it up and awkwardly picked up the pile and headed down to the basement to do the laundry.

As he got to the bottom of the stairs he could hear Pastor Jim, Caleb and his father talking in the study. He bit his lower lip as he walked past as quietly as he could. Just by hearing the low tones they were speaking in he knew something was wrong.

He got to the bottom of the stairs that led into the basement and dropped his laundry in front of the washer. He knew his father would be leaving in the morning. He didn't want to believe it because his father had promised Sammy that they'd be staying, but he'd fooled himself when he'd let himself believe the promise.

He finished loading the clothes and soap into the washer and turned it on. Carefully he stepped down off the step stool that Jim kept next to the washer for him and headed back upstairs. He stopped as John came out of the study and wouldn't look at him.

"Go to bed Dean," John said as he brushed passed him.

"Yes sir," Dean said as he stopped and watched his father disappear down the stairs to the basement. It was the confirmation that he didn't want to hear and he paled slightly. When he got up in the morning there would be packed bags by the back door. One for clothes and one with weapons. Part of him wanted to scream that he'd promised Sammy he'd stay but he knew it wouldn't make any difference.

He swallowed heavily and glanced into the study. Caleb was shaking his head at something Jim had said, turned and knocked a stack of books off a table as he stormed out of the study stopping short as he saw Dean. The anger softened slightly but didn't go away. "Dean we tried to talk him out of it," he said.

Dean just shook his head and looked away from the nineteen year old. "I have to check on Sammy," he said softly and ran up the stairs. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want someone making excuses for his father.

He ran until he got to the bathroom and locked himself in. He leaned his forehead against the door and closed his eyes. Dean stood there for a minute trying to reign in some control and he realized that there was no one there to see him. Straightening he turned and sat on the side of the tub as he turned on the water. A single tear slipped down his cheek and he didn't wipe it away. Leaning over he put the plug into the tub and watched as the water filled the porcelain tub.

A few more tears fell as he shook his head slightly. He didn't need much and he tried not to ask for anything. But he wanted to feel safe, to be comforted. He wanted to feel like his father cared, like he was really here with them. He wanted to feel like he mattered to his father like he used to.

He sniffled slightly. "I want my Daddy back," he whispered as tears ran unchecked down his cheeks.

He reached over and turned off the taps. Slowly he undressed and carefully got into the tub. He took extreme caution to keep his cast dry. The last thing he wanted was to cost his father more money by having to get a new cast put on. It was bad enough that he'd been in the hospital, had surgery and tests done. He'd cost them a fortune and he wasn't sure how to get the money back.

He shook his head as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the tub. What he needed and wanted didn't matter. He could whine about it all he wanted to but it wouldn't change or fix anything. It was pretty clear to him. If he and Sammy mattered to his father he'd stay with them. But he was going to leave in the morning which only proved that the Winchester boys were only fourth or fifth best in his father's eyes.

Sitting up he did what he needed to do and finished up in the tub. The last thing he did was wash away the tear marks from his face. And he vowed right then and there that if it killed him Sammy would never feel second best. Sammy was the only one that was important even if his father couldn't see it.

He dried off, dressed from the waist down and then struggled to put on his sling. He wrestled with the contraption for a while without making much progress when there was a light tapping on the door.

"Dean? You've been in there for over an hour. Are you ok in there?" Jim's voice asked through the door.

Dean opened his mouth to respond but his throat seemed to close up. He swallowed back the emotion and cleared his throat. But he couldn't seem to find his voice.

There was another tapping. "Dean?" the pastor's voice repeated softly full of compassion.

Dean swallowed heavily and tried to say something, anything that would make the pastor go away. It was too soon to talk to anyone. He couldn't let anyone see him lose control again because his father already saw him as weak, he was positive about that. He just needed more time to get his walls back up thicker than ever.

The bathroom door handle moved like someone was trying to get in from the outside. "Dean? Can you open the door? I just want to make sure you're all right."

Dean tried to speak again but all that came out was a whisper. "I don't," he started before the door was pounded on and he jumped back slightly. He hit the edge of the sink and a groan escaped his mouth when pain radiated out of his shoulder.

"Dean!" the pastor shouted. "Open this door right now or I'll assume the worst has happened and I will pry it open with my bare hands."

His entire body deflated softly as he lowered his head. He reached out, unlocked and opened the door. He couldn't bring himself to look at the pastor. "I.. I'm…I," he tried to tell the man he was fine but he couldn't get the lie past his lips.

Jim knelt in front of the boy trying to gage how he was. One look told him that he was exhausted and in pain. Knowing Dean as well as he did, he'd known earlier that seeing John preparing to leave again had been the last straw for the nine year old and he'd ran for the safety of the bathroom. He'd locked himself away physically until he could get his barriers back up emotionally and made it strong enough so on one could reach him.

"Why don't you let me help you," Jim said softly as he picked up the sling that had fallen to the floor.

Dean nodded and still couldn't bring himself to lift his eyes to the man who was being too kind to him. He clenched his jaw and lips together as he tried to get some kind of control on his emotions.

"There. All done," Jim said and when Dean didn't move or say anything just stared at the floor he felt compelled to try and explain his father's actions. Even if he didn't agree with them. "Dean your…"

"Don't," Dean whispered.

Jim sighed. "Dean your father," he started to say as he crouched down further in front of the boy but as he came to eye level with him he could see Dean's lower lip trembling. He knew now that words wouldn't help this child. So he did the only thing he could think of to help. He reached out and gently pulled him into his embrace.

"No," Dean whispered as he felt himself being drawn into his friends comforting arms but his words were hollow. One shaky breath later his eyes filled and overflowed as he shook and silently cried tears of frustration, anger, betrayal, hurt and bone weary exhaustion.

Jim whispered words of comfort to Dean and let him cry. He couldn't really blame him right now he figured it would help he'd happily try to knock some sense into John. But right now he had more important things to worry about. "It's all right Dean," he said softly. "It's all right."

Dean cried himself almost to sleep. When his tears were spent he just leaned against Jim for a moment trying to compose himself.

"Ok now?" Jim asked softly.

Dean took a last shaky breath as he nodded and pulled back. He still couldn't look at the pastor. What he just did made him weak and vulnerable. The top two things his father said made hunters useless and what would make him leave Dean somewhere safe while he hunted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jim asked.

Dean shook his head still staring at the floor.

"Let's get you into bed then," Jim said as he straightened up but kept a hand on Dean's back. He walked Dean down the hallway and into his room that he shared with his little brother when they were staying with him.

"Thanks Pastor Jim," Dean said softly just inside the room and still looking at the floor.

"Let me know if you need anything," Jim said.

Dean nodded and went to the bed. He pulled back the covers and climbed in. A slight squeaking noise filed the room and he knew that Jim was closing the door. He turned onto his side and watched his peacefully sleeping brother for a moment. As long as Sammy was happy and safe that would be enough for him.

He turned onto his back and closed his eyes. A moment later he felt arm land on top of his chest. Opening his eyes he glanced down at the mop of brown hair that was now on his shoulder and he smiled slightly. At least he had his little brother and his little brother needed him. He knew his father only needed him to watch Sammy and now for hunting. Even though he couldn't hunt right now he could still look after his brother. He was still useful to his father.

With a tired sigh he wrapped an arm around his little brother to keep him safe during the night. Then he allowed himself to close his eyes and fall asleep.


	33. Day 28 January 1st

**Disclaimer: **Just the standard. In no way shape or form do I own anything in regards to the Supernatural family they belong to the CW/WB and all. I also don't own Star Wars, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny… or anything else that you may recognize that I haven't mentioned.

**Author's Notes: **I stewed, brooded, lost sleep and generally quietly freaked over this chapter. I've written the author's note six times and just let me say be warned - **_this is not a nice chapter_**. It was brutal and exhausting for me, and hopefully it comes across correctly. So if you're hoping for lollypops and candy canes it isn't here.

Ok now that you're warned this is the last full chapter and it's 21 pages and I didn't split it up like usual. There will be an epilogue to follow.

Thanks out to Lynxlan for the beta and the encouragement in the email it came back in. And to Wingschipped for the support as well.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 28 January 1**

Jim went into Jesse's room and checked on the hunter. He was resting peacefully and he had decent colouring in his face. He quickly, gently and carefully checked the bandages and bruising. He mused about maybe putting salve on some of dark bruising but decided it could wait until Jesse woke later.

Then he went into the boy's room and woke them up. Dean promised to be down in a few minutes as soon as he could wake his little brother properly. Heading down the stairs he went into the kitchen.

"Hey dad," Caleb said softly. "Coffee?"

"Sure. How long have you been up?" He asked softly as he watched the nineteen year old pour him a mug of the dark brew.

"You assume I went to bed," Caleb said as he handed Jim the mug.

Jim gave his son a once over.

Caleb recognized the look and stared down into his coffee. "Before you ask I took a run, then a shower, did some research, drew for a while and generally brooded," he said with an easy shrug that was in sharp contrast of his weary appearance.

"Caleb," Jim started.

"Don't. You can't explain him and even if you could it's not me who needs the explanation," Caleb said as he took undue care to put down his mug. "Dean and Sammy deserve more than this, Dad, and you know it."

Jim pursed his lips and stared at his son. "I thought we had this conversation already."

"Yeah well… I can't stay for the complete babysitting tour," Caleb said as he rubbed his fingers over his tired eyes. "I want to be gone. Tonight. Before I lose it completely."

"All right Caleb. You know I won't stop you. Before you go how about one last round?" Jim asked with a small understanding smile and gestured to the living room.

Caleb nodded. "Sure."

"Just promise that you'll use the cell phone to keep in touch a little more often?" Jim asked.

Caleb gave him a half smile. "So instead of a call every four months you'd like a call every two months?"

Jim nodded returning the smile. "Yeah that'd be about right."

Quiet descended in the kitchen as the men sipped at the morning brew. Jim surreptitiously studied his son. He was pale and the dark bags under his eyes made him look haggard and un-well. Taking a deep breath he was about to suggest Caleb get some sack time, but he didn't get the chance.

Caleb put his mug down on the kitchen counter and held up his hand stopping his father. "You look like death warmed over. _I feel like death warmed over_. Go get some sleep Caleb. _Do I have to? _Yes Caleb you mustn't get overtired. _Mustn't? _It's a word. _Mustn't?_ Don't give me a hard time son. _Dad… _Caleb don't whine. It's awfully unbecoming. _Speaking of wine I have a date later and… _Caleb you're underage. No drinking. And this wasn't a request. Go to bed. _Fine. But speaking of beds mine is unavailable. Could I use yours?_" Caleb said with a decent impression of the pastor's voice alternating with his own.

Jim laughed. His son actually had him down fairly well. Although he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually used the word mustn't. "How long have you been waiting to use that?"

Caleb laughed then gave his best 'who me' look. "Be happy. I just saved you the headache of giving me the normal speech," Caleb said ruefully then yawned.

"Go use my bed. I'll wake you later," Jim said.

Caleb nodded and looked at his father uncertainly. "Dad?"

"Yeah?" Jim asked then finished his coffee and put the mug into the sink.

"Don't let John leave before I get up, OK?" Caleb asked.

Jim looked at his son. "Any particular reason?"

"Just want to talk to him is all," Caleb said as he looked away.

"You want to talk to him with your mouth or with your fists?" Jim asked.

"Last night would have been my fist but I'm a little too tired for that now," Caleb said. "Relax Dad. I just want to talk to him."

Jim gave him a measuring look. He knew the answer wasn't the full truth, but he recognized it for what it was. He wasn't going to fight him, but Caleb had something else planned. "All right. I'll wake you before John goes. Now go get some sleep," Jim said.

Caleb nodded feeling relieved that Jim hadn't pushed for a straight answer and quietly left the room.

Jim followed him out of the kitchen and went into the living room where the youngest Winchesters were waiting for him. Dean was standing in front of his brother and the two boys were stretching.

"You're moves need a lot of work. It's a graceful art form Sammy and you're jerking through most of them. So I want you to stand across from me and copy my every move, ok?" Dean said. "Slowly."

Sammy nodded.

"You guys ready?" Jim asked as he moved through a few stretches.

"Yeah," Dean said and they began.

Forty minutes later Dean gave up and sat down on the couch.

Jim had been watching him carefully and noticed that the last fifteen minutes he had been struggling. His breathing was laboured and he was sweating heavily. The boy was in pain but he'd done his best to conceal it.

"Good job guys. Do me a favour and fetch the salve Sammy," Jim said quietly.

Dean leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Jim sat down next to him and began to ease the nine year olds arm out of his sling. Then he removed Dean's shirt as gently as he could. "Dean have you been taking your pain medication?"

"No. The salve works good enough. I thought we could add the pills to the med kit so the next time we needed something we'd have it," Dean said with his eyes squeezed shut and panting as he did his best to control the pain.

Sammy raced back to him with the salve in his hand. He passed it to the pastor with a grin on his face. Then he got up on the couch next to his brother.

"Sammy? Did you want to play with your new toys?" Dean asked remembering he'd promised that he'd play with his little brother and his action figures.

"No," Sammy said softly. He sat quietly as watched as the pastor took salve out of the container and worked it into his brother's shoulder. "Help?"

"No Sammy. Pastor Jim's got it," Dean said and winced as the fingers worked into his sore shoulder.

John came upstairs and with a glance into the living room went into the kitchen. He appeared a moment later with a coffee in his hand. He looked exhausted and pale.

"Dean?" he asked his voice rough from sleep.

Dean stiffened slightly. "Yes sir?"

"Are you all right?" John asked.

"Yes sir."

John frowned at him..

Dean looked back steadily at the disappointment written all over his father's face.

"Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth," he ground out.

Dean looked away. "My shoulder hurts but its starting to feel better."

John nodded satisfied with the answer. "Sammy come with me," he said.

Sammy glanced to Dean for a second then scooted off the couch and followed his Dad into Jim's study.

"Are his colouring books still in there?" Dean asked with a frown.

"I believe so," Jim said. "If not he'll just colour in some of Caleb's drawings."

Dean nodded and closed his eyes again. He found himself leaning into the pastor's hands as his shoulder began to feel tingly. The shoulder was just throbbing slightly, a significant difference to the shooting pains it was giving him before. It was such a relief that he allowed himself to relax completely.

A few minutes later Jim put the salve on the coffee table and stood up. He went into the kitchen and returned a moment later wiping his hands on a towel. As he sat back down on the couch Dean opened his eyes and blinked at him groggily.

"Wha-?" Dean mumbled half asleep.

"I just need to put your shirt and sling back on Dean. Just relax," Jim said softly as he slipped the shirt over the boy's head and pulled him forward slightly so he could pull it down. Then he put Dean's arm back into his sling and gently let it rest over his chest.

Dean sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"Close your eyes and go to sleep," Jim said softly knowing that the boy was exhausted.

Dean shook his head as he glanced around the room. "Not tired. S-Sammy?" he asked as he frowned.

"He's with your Dad," Jim said. "Do you want to watch cartoons?"

"Yeah," Dean said softly.

"All right," Jim said and he was pretty sure he wouldn't last through one adventure of Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry.

"Sammy," Dean said still frowning. "He shouldn't miss this. He loves cartoons."

Jim smiled. "I'll go get him," he said as he gently placed a throw blanket over Dean and went into his study.

Sammy looked up from where he was colouring on the floor and smiled at him.

John glanced up then looked down to his notes. He flipped through his journal, found the information he was looking for and then spoke quietly into the phone.

"Come on Sammy," Jim said just above a whisper so he didn't disturb John's call. He held out his hand to the five year old.

Sammy looked up at his father waiting for permission to go.

John didn't look up but gave a wave of his hand and continued his conversation on the phone.

Sammy got up, took the pastor's hand and went with him into the living room.

"There you are," Dean said looking much more awake. "I thought you'd like to watch cartoons with me."

Sammy nodded and sat down on the couch with his brother. Dean re-arranged the blanket so it covered both of them. Jim went into the kitchen to start breakfast.

The morning went by with Dean dozing on the couch and Sammy watching TV between playing quietly with Angel and colouring. John stayed in the study. About an hour before lunch Jim went into the study to check on him.

"Getting prepared?" Jim asked as he looked over the papers on the desk.

"Yeah," John said as he read through an old Latin text.

"John," Jim started.

"Look is this really important? I have to get through this," John snapped and went back to reading.

Jim sighed and then quietly left the room.

Around one in the afternoon Jim had lunch ready and called the Winchesters into the kitchen to eat. Dean had skipped breakfast and Sammy wouldn't eat if Dean didn't eat. John had worked through the morning appearing long enough to fill his coffee mug then return to his research.

Dean knew that his father was in complete research mode. He'd be leaving shortly spending the time before leaving getting as much information as he could.

At lunch John tiredly came to the table and looked down at his sandwich then looked over at his two boys.

"Sammy how is it that every time we have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you end up wearing the jelly and none of the peanut butter?" Dean asked as he wiped his little brother's cheek with a napkin.

Sammy just smiled at him, pushed away the napkin and took another bite of his sandwich.

John shook his head and took a sip of coffee.

Jim put Angel outside to run around in the back yard for a bit then brought his lunch to the table and sat down with them.

"Where's Caleb?" John asked.

"Sleeping. He'd like to talk to you before you go," Jim said then took a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich.

John nodded and looked over to his boys. Dean had barely touched his lunch but that was usual when he knew his father was about to leave on a mission. Sammy was happily banging his heels off the chair leg making John shake his head. He had no idea why his youngest continually did that as it must have hurt on some level. Then Sammy stopped as he leaned forward to take his plastic cup of milk and started to take a drink.

"Boys I have a hunt to go on and I'll be leaving in an hour," John said softly.

Sammy's head whipped around to look at his father and his cup of milk fell to the floor. The boy paled and went whiter than the milk that he spilt down the front of his shirt.

"Sammy be careful," Dean said over the sound of the plastic cup bouncing on the floor. He reached over to the middle of the table where a stack of napkins were.

"It's all right," Jim said as he got up to get a cloth to wipe up the mess.

Sammy whimpered as he stared at his father then he leaned back towards Dean shaking his head back and fourth.

"Hey whoa!" Dean said as he brought his arm back from where he'd been reaching for a napkin to steady his brother from falling off his chair.

Sammy whimpered again and his breathing began to pick up.

"Look at this mess Sammy. You need to be careful when you're drinking," he admonished softly as he started to wipe at his little brother's shirt with a napkin.

"No Dean," Sammy said as he tried to push away his hand.

"Come on Sammy it's just a little milk. Just give me a sec and you'll be dry," Dean said concentrating on the five year olds shirt and not on the panic growing on the little boy's face.

"Dean no," Sammy tried again but not getting out the right words.

"Stop it Sammy," Dean said more sternly. "Just stay still."

Sammy stared at his big brother and the colour that was left in his face began to slowly drain away. His breath began to come in slight gasps. "DEAN!" he yelled as he grabbed onto his brother's shirt.

Dean put his hand over his brother's arm and finally looked up at him. "Easy Sammy. Calm down."

"NO!" Sammy yelled and then gasped for another breath. "Don't!"

"Sammy it's ok. Hey calm down little man. Everything's ok," he said softly as he shifted forward closer to his little brother.

"Dean," Sammy said and gasped for another breath. "No!" he shouted as he awkwardly tried to get closer to his brother.

"Sammy stop," Dean said as he winced and then shook his head allowing his little brother to crawl into his lap. "Easy there little man."

Jim crouched down by the boys trying to get Sammy dried off. "It's ok Sammy," he said as he helped Dean pull off the soggy t-shirt.

"Lie!" he gasped just as Jim started to straighten up. He grabbed onto his big brother as tightly as he could and buried his head in his chest.

"Oh for the love of... Sammy stop this behaviour. Now," John just short of yelled.

Jim winced at John's loud voice and returned to the sink to rinse out the material.

Sammy was gasping for breath as he held onto his big brother with all his might. He can't let Dean go. He can't. He had to make him stay. He tensed as a hand came gently went down his back.

"Shhh Sammy. I've got you. You're ok," Dean said soothingly. He couldn't figure out what set his little brother off. Their father had gone on lots of hunts, and though neither of them wanted him to go, it was just accepted as part of their lives.

"Samuel Winchester stop that nonsense this instant," John growled out.

Sammy jumped at his father's tone and started to shake.

"Shh Sammy. It's all right. Dad will come back. It's ok," Dean said softly as he ran a hand up and down his brother's back partly to soothe him and partly to warm him up.

"Dean stop coddling your brother. He should know better than to behave this way," John snapped.

Sammy turned his head slightly where it rested on his brother's chest to look at his father.

"Dad he doesn't want you to go. That's all," Dean said in a comforting tone hoping to combat his father's anger and to keep his little brother from getting any more upset.

"This is not acceptable," John said and stood up so quickly that the chair fell backwards and landed with a loud bang on the floor.

"NO! Daddy please!" He screamed as he clutched at his brother's shirt.

Dean started to rock back and forth. "Easy Sammy. It's ok. Shhh," he said soothingly as he watched his father step towards them. "It's ok Dad. I've got him."

"Like hell," John growled.

Sammy started to whimper loudly and then the whimpers turned into full out panicked crying. He gasped for breath as tears quickly fell down his cheeks and landed on his brother's shirt.

Jim tensed by the sink and reminded himself that as much as he loved the two little ones in his kitchen they were not his boys. They were Johns and he could not interfere. But couldn't the man see how scared his youngest son was?

Dean stopped the soothing motion on his brother's back and held on tightly. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his father so furious and he tried to move further back into his chair. "It's ok Dad. I have him," he repeated loud enough to be heard over his panicking brother.

"No you don't," John said angrily.

Dean felt a spike of fear at the glare his father sent his way before he went back to staring at Sammy. Without thinking about it or allowing the pain to register Dean pulled his wounded arm out of the sling and wrapped it protectively around his brother holding the scared child tighter.

Then in a move that surprised all of them John reached out and grabbed Sam around his sides. He yanked roughly trying to take Sammy from Dean but only succeeded on pulling his sons off the chair.

Dean held onto his little brother for dear life.

"Damnit let go!" John shouted and shoved Dean back hard.

Dean lurched drunkenly as his hold was viciously broken leaving him suddenly unbalanced. Stumbling back he hit the wall hard, his cast hitting the wall, and his breath was knocked out of him as he slowly slid down the wall.

"DEAN!!! NOOOOO!" Sammy screamed and fought in his father's grasp. He fought for breath as he panicked at the loss of his brother. "Dean! DEEAAAANNNNNN!"

Dean closed his eyes against the pain and tried to pull in a breath. "Sammy," he whispered as he opened his eyes and his mouth fell open as he saw his baby brother kicking his legs and punching with his arms in a vain attempted to get away from their father.

"Calm down. Now Samuel," John yelled almost face to face with the five year old as he held him up in front of him.

Jim was making his way over to the angry man. "John? Put him down," he said sternly.

John didn't seem to hear him but gave Sammy a rough shake. "STOP THIS NOW!" he shouted.

Dean was pale. He was out of breath and fighting against the pain that seemed to be wracking his entire body. Sammy had never fought against his father before. Even after the tornado he'd scream, yell for Dean, but he'd never actually fight their father's hold. Dean felt helpless. He was supposed to protect Sammy from everything, but he'd never felt the urge to protect him from their own Dad before.

Jim was beside John speaking softly and sternly. "Easy John. Put Sammy down. You're hurting him. Put him down. Now."

He had to get to Sammy now. Dean willed himself to his feet, using the wall for support. But just as he got to his knees the floor seemed to tilt and he shrank back against the wall and slid down the wall.

"Sammy it's ok. It's gonna be ok," he said. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, his voice would get through and his little brother would hear him. Nausea hit him hard sending bile burning up his throat and he leaned to the side and threw up. Taking a deep breath he leaned away from the mess as he wiped his sleeve across his mouth.

"Enough!" John yelled.

"Dad? Dad stop _please_. Sammy!" Dean shouted with as much energy as he could but it came out sounding like a whimper. "Dad!"

"Hey what's going on in here?" Caleb said as he stepped into the kitchen rubbing one eye sleepily.

"Damnit that's enough!" John shouted and put his son down. Reaching back he slapped the five year old.

The noise of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the kitchen everything seemed to stop. There was no noise as Sammy's head snapped to the side and John staggered back from what he had done.

Sammy crumpled to his knees with a whimper, one small hand on his cheek and his chin almost hitting his chest This was it. Dean was leaving with his father and he wouldn't be returning. He would die this time because no one would look after his brother while he was gone. Dean was going to die. Dean was going to die. Dean was going to die. Dean was going to die.

The thought of his brother's death echoed in his head like a broken record. Another soft whimper escaped from the five year old.

The second whimper sent Caleb farther into the room and he scooped Sammy up in his arms leaving the room. His footfalls could be heard on the stairs and he took the youngest child to a safer place.

Dean was staring up at his father in shock. He'd never seen his father this angry before. Neither one of them had ever been struck. No spankings, no slaps like had just happened to his baby brother. Nothing. Dad doled out extra chores, laps or calisthenics but never physical punishment like this.

John stared down at his red hand. His mouth hung slightly open shocked by his own behaviour.

Jim put a calming hand on his friends arm. "John? We need to talk about this," he said softly but firmly.

John tore his gaze from his angry red palm to his friend with wide eyes. "Oh God," he whispered. "I - I… Oh God," he said and swallowed heavily as if he was going to be sick.

Jim glanced over to where Dean was sitting against the wall. "You all right there Dean?" He asked the pale boy softly.

Dean didn't answer the preacher or even react to the question. He was still staring up at his father with a surprised and somewhat scared look on his face.

John looked down at Dean. He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to say something, anything to his oldest son to make this right. He realized that Dean was waiting for permission to leave or an order to follow. "Go see to your brother."

"Yes sir," Dean whispered and tried to stand up.

Caleb ran back into the room and picked up Dean as gently as he could. "Keep him down here dad. I mean it," he bit out.

Dean let himself be carried. He didn't understand what had just happened. "Sammy?" he murmured into Caleb's shoulder.

"He's in your room," Caleb said. "We're just about there."

Dean nodded and immediately whished he hadn't. He groaned as his head spun again.

"Dean you ok buddy?" Caleb asked as he got to the top of the stairs.

"I… sick," he whispered.

Caleb rushed into the bathroom and got Dean in front of the toilet just as he began to gag. He put his hand on the nine year olds back as Dean curled painfully and threw up. Several minutes later Dean sagged against Caleb with a whimper. He didn't know what hurt more now his shoulder, his head or his stomach. He didn't care as he felt himself propped up against something soft and a cool cloth moved across his face.

"Sammy," Dean whispered with his eyes closed as he tried to get his breathing under control.

"Sammy's all right for the moment. Just relax Dean," Caleb said.

Dean realized he was leaning back against the nineteen year old as he felt and heard the words. "Hurts."

"What does?" Caleb asked as he tossed the cloth into the sink.

"Everything," Dean whispered.

Caleb moved him to sit on the toilet seat and winced as Dean groaned. "Easy there. Just need to check your head."

"Hurts," Dean whimpered again then hissed as Caleb found a sore spot.

"Well buddy I'm not a doctor but I'd say you may have a light grade concussion. Are you finished throwing up?" he asked softly not wanting to aggravate the headache he was sure the kid had.

"Oh God I hope so," Dean murmured.

"Ok. Dean this is gonna hurt a bit," Caleb warned softly.

"Shut up and do it," Dean said.

Caleb winced in sympathy as he touched the cast. "Crap," he muttered.

Dean opened weary eyes. "What."

"Looks like you're broken your cast. I'll take you into your room and get a tensor," Caleb said softly.

"Caleb when does it stop?" Dean asked sounding younger than his nine years.

Caleb glanced up and met the boy's eyes. "When does what stop?"

"I'm so tired. I just want the pain to stop," Dean said with overly bright eyes.

Caleb nodded and picked Dean up as gently as he could so he did not aggravate any of the injuries. He put his hand on his back near the base of his neck. "Soon buddy. I promise."

"Don't believe you," Dean mumbled as he put his head on Caleb's shoulder.

As Caleb walked down the hallway he could hear voices coming from downstairs. He'd almost forgotten how well his father could swear under the right circumstances. And it sounded like he was on quite a roll.

He entered the bedroom and found the five year old exactly where he'd left him. Sammy was on the bed propped up by pillows against the headboard. He'd at least had the forethought to put on the radio to drown out the argument downstairs.

Caleb gently put Dean onto the bed next to his brother then sat next to the nine year old. He sighed as Sammy was still looking straight ahead at nothing. "Hey little one," he said softly.

Dean leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"No way dude. You know the score. If there's a chance you're concussed no sleeping," Caleb said giving a gentle nudge.

Dean opened his eyes and looked at Caleb giving him a slight glare.

Caleb gestured to Sammy. "See what you can do will you?" he asked as he stood up and left the room.

Dean looked over at his zoned out baby brother. "Sammy? You in there little man?" he asked softly.

Sammy didn't respond, twitch, or give any indication that he'd heard anything.

Dean sighed then looked up as Caleb came back into the room tensor bandage in his hand. He groaned softly at the sight of something else that was going to hurt.

Caleb sat down on the bed again with a slight grin. "Easy there. I'm going to make this as painless as possible. Look on the bright side," he said.

Dean looked at him and then looked down as Caleb began to pull his sore arm out of his sling. He hissed at the new flare of pain. "Bright side?"

"Oh yeah. When you're fully healed and your father takes you on your next hunt it'll be a complete and utter cake walk," Caleb said.

"No such thing," Dean said and flinched as Caleb pulled the cracked pieces back to their original spots.

"Easy," Caleb said softly. "Oh yeah. Total cake walk. But I'm talking about the hunter definition of cake walk not the civilian definition of a cake walk."

Dean looked at him warily. "Which is?" he asked and then glanced at Sammy as he whimpered softly.

Caleb glanced over at the five year old and then back at Dean. "I'll draw this for you later but in essence picture a scale from one to ten. One would be slight bruising and ten would be…"

At the slight pause Dean raised his eye brows. "Death?" he whispered.

Caleb looked up at him from where he was securing a tiny silver clip to hold the tensor in place. "God no. Morbid freak," he said softly.

Dean smiled. "Then what is ten?"

"Alive but too broken to hunt for like another two years," Caleb said.

Dean nodded solemnly. "Like me," he whispered.

"Nope. Let me finish," Caleb said as he secured the second clip. "See you could, if need be, go out right now and help with a salt and burn of some freaky assed ghosty. But a ten wouldn't allow you to get out of bed."

Dean looked thoughtful. "So my hunt was a… a… 9?" he ventured.

"Nope. The Winchester scale is a whole other thing. Nasty. Goes all the way to fifty. Takes months to calculate it properly," Caleb teased.

"Dude," Dean huffed. "Seriously. Do you think I'm five?"

Caleb shook his head as he put the newly bandaged casted arm back into the sling. "You are a very tough nine year old who's too smart for his own good."

Dean rolled his eyes and promptly groaned as he head swam.

"But not smart enough to stop his own dizziness," Caleb said softly as he put a hand on his good shoulder.

"Screw it. Wake me in the morning," Dean mumbled.

Caleb laughed softly and then sobered and tensed quickly as he heard something like glass break downstairs. "Stay here. Don't leave this room. I mean it," he said sternly.

Dean nodded.

"Don't leave until I come back up here no matter what," Caleb said sternly.

Dean sighed. "Ok," he said softly.

Caleb nodded and then left the room closing the door securely behind him.

Dean frowned as he looked at the red mark beginning to come up on his little brother's face. "Hey Sammy?" he said again trying to get any response out of his brother.

Rock softly flowed out of the tiny radio speakers filling the quiet room with noise.

When nothing was forth coming from the five year old Dean wrapped his good arm around his little brother's shoulder and pulled him closer. "I'm here Sammy. You know Daddy didn't mean to hurt you little man. He's just tired and this whole hunt has been hard on all of us."

Dean sighed heavily when his brother didn't say anything or do anything. "Everything's ok. Just talk to me ok? The blank hundred yard stare is creeping me out," he said softly.

Sammy blinked a few times and wondered how he got into the bedroom.

Dean closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Sammy's head. It was something he'd do when he woke from a nightmare. Then he began to hum along with the radio as Stairway to Heaven began to play.

Sammy tried to shift closer to his big brother but he was already right next to him. "Dean?" he whispered.

"Yeah it's me. You ok?" Dean asked.

Sammy didn't say anything.

"Yeah I thought so. I know how you're feeling," Dean said softly. "Are you in pain?"

Sammy nodded.

"Let me check it?" Dean asked.

The five year old nodded and moved his face so that he was holding his bright red cheek towards Dean.

As gently as he could Dean probed the area. He was pretty sure it wasn't broken but it never hurt to check. "It looks ok Sammy but it'll hurt for a while."

"I didn't mean to," Sammy said softly.

"So what happened? Dad leaves us to go hunting all the time and you've never acted this way before," Dean said.

Sammy held on tighter but didn't say anything.

Dean wrapped his arm back around his brother. "Sammy you have to tell me what's going on in that head of yours. Cause I'm having a hard time figuring you out right now."

Instead of answering Sammy pulled away from his brother, got off the bed and disappeared from view.

"What are you doing Sammy?" Dean asked. "If you get stuck under there I'm not pulling you out."

Sammy appeared a moment later with one of their duffels. He put it on the bed and then went to the drawer.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked as he sat up relieved slightly when he didn't feel dizzy.

"Not alone," Sammy said.

Dean scooted over to the edge of the bed and sat up. He intercepted a small stack of clothes that Sammy tried to put into the bag. "Whoa. I think you're jumping the gun here."

Sammy frowned at him. "_Not alone,_" he said again.

Dean grabbed his arm as he turned to go back for more clothes. "Wait a sec. Sammy what does that mean? Who's not alone?"

"No. Keep safe," he said and wrenched himself back hard enough to get out of his brother's grasp.

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. He couldn't wait for the day the Sammy talked his ear off because this was just far too cryptic with this headache. His little brother returned with another handful of clothes, this time jeans, and put them into the bag. Dean reached out and grabbed onto Sammy's shirt. "Keep who safe?"

Sammy looked up at him. "You," he said softly.

Dean shook his head. "Sammy I don't think I'm going," he said.

"Dean. Sammy. Front and centre," John shouted from downstairs.

Dean immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed his head at the same time with a quiet groan. Sammy jumped and stepped into his brother grabbing his shirt tightly again.

Sammy's breathing increased slightly as he held on to Dean with all of his strength. "Keep safe," he said but his voice wobbled a little.

Dean's head was pounding, his shoulder hurt and he wanted to lie down and sleep. Instead he brought his hand down and rubbed his brother's back. "It's ok Sammy."

Sammy shook his head. "Stay?"

"No Sammy. We can't stay in here," Dean said. "Dad needs us downstairs so we go. It's just how it is. Don't worry. Keeping you safe is my job. I won't let Dad hurt you again."

Sammy sighed and nodded.

Dean gently pulled him away from his shirt and nudged him forward. As soon as they were out of the room they could see and hear their father arguing with Caleb. Sammy shortened his stride and tried to stop but Dean kept him walking until they stopped just short of the stairs. They stood there and watched.

"Damnit Caleb get out of my way!" John shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"No way. If you think I'm letting you within a foot of those two children you have another think coming," Caleb shot back.

"They are my children and I will damn well talk to them," John said as he tried to push Caleb out of his way.

Caleb shoved him back a lot harder than he intended to. "Not so easy when I'm the same height and strength is it?"

John closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face.

"Calm down John and then you can see them," Caleb said.

"Caleb John has calmed down considerably. You cannot stand here between him and his children," Jim said.

"Oh yes I can. You may just sit back and not protect those two but I sure as hell won't!" Caleb bit out.

"Don't speak to your father like that kid," John said. "It's disrespectful."

Caleb snorted. "Disrespectful? Damn John I'll bet your father taught you respect?"

John stilled and looked at Caleb. "Don't speak about things you know nothing about boy," he said softly.

Caleb frowned and looked from John to his father.

"Caleb that's really not a conversation you want to start. Now let John pass and come into the kitchen so I can wash your mouth out with soap."

"Hey I'm nineteen," he protested.

"Yes you are but you're behaving like a three year old," Jim said.

Taking his little brother's hand in his shaking one Dean and Sammy apprehensively started their way down the stairs. Dean stopped mid way and looked down at his brother.

"Sit down Sammy," Dean whispered to him.

"Caleb I need to speak to my children," John said evenly. "I need to say goodbye to them. Please get out of my way."

Dean swallowed heavily and after giving Sammy a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder he went farther down the stairs. He cleared his throat as he went down the last steps. "Caleb. It's ok," he said with a confidence and strength he didn't feel.

Cautiously Dean got as close as he dared to his father and steeled himself for whatever he was going to do. He tensed to be ready to bolt up the stairs to protect his brother if need be.

Silence reined over the room for a few moments before Caleb sighed and moved out of Johns' way. He hovered close by next to Jim ready to interfere if necessary.

John sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face wearily. He looked at Dean and placed a hand on his oldest son's head. "Ok buddy?

Dean stared at him wide-eyed for a moment. "Y-yes sir," Dean stuttered softly. He didn't know what he'd been prepared for but this wasn't it. It was unnerving to see his father so gentle when just a short while ago he'd been so angry. His heart squeezed with a sudden sadness as it reminded him of the father Sammy had never gotten the chance to know. The look in his eyes, the soft tone and the comforting hand was more like the father he'd been before his mother had died.

"Yeah? You sure?" John asked softly.

Dean shook his head and blinked a couple of times. "No Daddy," he whispered.

John smiled sadly at him and knelt beside him.

Dean stiffened as his father pulled him against his chest and rested his cheek on his forehead. "I'm so sorry Dean," he whispered.

Dean wanted to be strong. He wanted to say that it was ok. Instead he wrapped his good arm around his father and held on tightly as he buried his face in his father's neck. This was safe. This was what he needed and he knew it wasn't going to last. It was an anomaly but he would soak up whatever he could get, even if it was only a few seconds.

"Dean I'm so sorry," John whispered again as he rubbed a hand up and down Dean's back.

"It's ok Dad," Dean whispered and pulled back with a sniffle.

John smiled at him with overly bright eyes and cupped Dean's face in his hand. Then he stood and started up the stairs.

Sammy watched him make his way up the stairs with wide apprehensive and wary eyes.

John sat beside him on the stair.

Sammy's eyes didn't leave his father as he sat near him on the stairs.

John looked down at his hands for a moment then back at his youngest son. "Sammy… Son…" he started to say but he stopped as Sammy slowly shifted on the stair so he was sitting right next to his father.

"Stay?" He whispered as he put his small hand on his father's leg. "Please Daddy."

John felt staggered by his Sammy's action. The boy should be angry with him, hate him, and be scared of him after what he had just done. Sammy should've run as soon as he'd sat down.

As he searched his youngest son's face for any signs of fear bile rose in his throat as he saw the red mark on Sammy's face that he put there. He was supposed to protect and take care of his sons not strike out at them. He never wanted to turn out like his own father.

"Daddy?" Sammy whispered.

To John's surprise there was no sign of fear, anger or hesitation on Sammy's face. He sat there looking up at him with trust, love and forgiveness. He swallowed heavily at the gift he was being given.

Sammy moved onto his knees on the stair so his could face his father properly. "Promised."

"Yes I did but there is a family out there with a little boy your age that are in danger. I have to help them," he said then put his arm around his youngest.

Sammy looked away from his father then back up at him. "Ok. We pack."

John frowned and then realization smacked him hard in the face. Sammy thought Dean was going on this mission. "Sammy you and Dean are not going. You're staying here."

"Go alone?" Sammy asked looking concerned.

John nodded. "Yeah."

"How long?" the five year old asked.

"I'm not sure. It's a two day drive there and two days back. It will be at least a week, probably more," John said softly.

From where he stood at the bottom of the stairs Dean watched the exchange. He wouldn't have thought it possible, but Sammy looked more miserable now than he had a moment ago.

Sammy looked at his father eye to eye. "Tomorrow."

John shook his head. "Today Sammy."

Sammy's lower lip quivered slightly. "Later today."

Dean didn't breathe for a moment. His dad did not in any way shape or form negotiate. He gave orders and Dean made sure they were followed.

John gave Sammy a measuring look which the young boy didn't flinch away from.

Dean went up the first two steps.

John smiled slightly. "Ok Sammy. How about I leave in an hour?"

"Two," Sammy said with a full pout.

"Don't push it," John warned.

Sammy nodded.

John smiled and stood up. He picked up Sammy and went upstairs into Sammy and Dean's room.

Dean stood there on the second step wondering what had just happened. Nobody negotiated with his father and survived. All the rules seemed to change over the last couple of weeks and now he wasn't sure what to do next.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Caleb asked from behind him.

Dean jumped slightly. He'd forgotten the nineteen year old and the pastor had been there.

"Go and join them," Jim said softly.

Dean looked at them as a smile started to spread across his face and nodded. He went upstairs and found his Dad lounging on the bed with Sammy under one arm and a book in the other.

John looked up and saw Dean standing in the doorway. "Care to join us or are you too old to be read to?" He asked.

Dean smiled a little uncertain at this new behaviour but climbed onto the bed and allowed himself to be tucked under his Dad's arm.

His father's deep voice began to fill the room. Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so safe and secure. He snuggled closer to his Dad as his eyes seemed to close of their own volition and his father's comforting arm held him just a little closer.

Two hours later the Winchesters came into the kitchen. John had said goodbye to Jesse before coming downstairs. Now he looked contritely at the pastor and his son.

Jim shook his head. "God speed old man. Get back as soon as you can but stay safe."

John nodded. "Thank you for… Well everything and thank you for looking after my boys."

"It's my pleasure to have them here John. They really are good kids," Jim said smiling down at the sad boys standing next to their father. "Just get back as soon as you can."

John nodded and turned to Caleb.

"Don't start with me old man and don't think you're getting away from me that easily," Caleb said sternly.

John frowned.

Caleb smiled as he saw the confused look on his friends face. It wasn't often he got to do that to John and he couldn't help the smile that graced his face. "If you think I'm going to let you go hunt whatever it is you're going after alone you're outta your mind," he said.

John sighed. "Caleb I hunt alone," he said.

"Yeah we all know that but you always come back broken and bruised. I thought I'd challenge myself to see if I can bring you back in one piece," Caleb said.

"Really Caleb?" Dean asked.

"No. He's not coming with me Dean," John said.

"Oh yes I am. Gear's in the car already," Caleb said as he got his jacket on.

"Then get it out because I'm not looking after you kid," John growled.

"Ah, Yeah," Caleb said sarcastically. "That's kinda my point. I'll be looking after you."

"I think it's a good idea John. Besides at least I'll know where you are. Caleb actually checks in," he said with a small smile.

"Please let him go with you Dad," Dean said softly then grinned widely. "Take him off our hands for a bit."

"Hey," Caleb said indignantly.

"Just think Dad you could probably teach him some new fighting moves," Dean said to his father then looked over to Caleb. "Or you could just make him carry everything."

"Whose side are you on shorty?" Caleb asked.

John looked like he was going to object when Dean's words sank in. "Yeah you know this might be a good idea after all. Come on Caleb. And grab the weapon's bag by the door."

"Great," Caleb grumbled good naturedly.

Jim followed him to the door.

John knelt in front of his two boys. "You two be good now. Mind pastor Jim. And try to have some fun while you're here."

"Yes sir," Dean said and saw Sammy nod in his peripheral vision.

"I'm going to check in every night before you go to bed, or earlier in the afternoon if I'm working that night. When I call I want to talk to both of you. And I want to hear all about what you're doing, ok?" John said.

"Yes sir," Dean said softly.

"Ok Daddy," Sammy said.

John smiled. "Walk me to the car?"

The boys nodded and followed their father out to the car.

John put the last bag into the trunk and then closed it. He glanced over to where Jim was saying goodbye to Caleb and he couldn't believe he was letting the kid come with him. Somehow he knew he was going to get his ear chewed off over the length of the job but he didn't mind. He didn't mind as he really did deserve it.

He walked towards the driver's side of the Impala scooping up Sammy along the way. Holding the youngest of his boys close he leaned his back against the car.

"Come back soon Daddy," Sammy said softly as he wrapped his arms around his dad's neck.

"I will baby. As soon as I can," he said softly then put him down.

"Not a baby," Sammy muttered.

"No you're not are you," John said as he ruffled his hair gently then turned his attention to his older boy.

"Safe trip sir and kick some supernatural butt," Dean said with a slightly glassy smile.

John frowned and crouched in front of him. "I will. Take care of yourself and watch out for Sammy."

Dean nodded. "Yes sir I will," he said softly.

John hesitated slightly as if measuring the words he wanted to say.

"It's ok Dad. Just look after Caleb and let Caleb look after you and come home without getting hurt," Dean said softly.

John swallowed heavily. "I'll do what I can," he said not wanting to promise that he'd return when that was the only thing he couldn't promise.

Dean's slight smile fell from his face as his father continued to look at him and he squirmed under the scrutiny. "I'll take good care of Sammy Dad. I promise."

"I know you will buddy. I have absolutely no doubt about that," John said and then pulled his oldest boy into a hug. "I want you to look after yourself as well."

"I will," Dean said his answer slightly muffled by his father's shirt.

John pulled back. "Look son Jim wants to take you to see the doctor in a couple of days. I want you to go, ok?"

"Yes sir I will," Dean said.

John nodded. "I want to know what the doc says when I call that night."

"I'll let you know what he says," Dean said.

"Good boy," John said then reluctantly stood up. He didn't want to leave his boys behind but he'd told Sammy the truth. There was a family who needed his help and he needed to go. He looked over the roof of the Impala to see Caleb still talking to his father.

"If you two are done we're wasting day light," John said gruffly.

"See if you can do anything with him while you're gone Caleb," Jim asked.

Caleb looked at John for a moment before looking back at Jim. "Well it will be difficult but I'll see what I can do."

Jim chuckled as the two men got into the car. He walked around to the other side of the car and stood with the two boys as the car rumbled to life.

As the Impala drove away Dean put his arm around his little brother and steered him towards the house.


	34. Day 29 January 2nd

**Disclaimer: **Nothing in the following story is owned by yours truly. All recognizable characters belong to the WB, the CW and all. No money as made, none will be forth coming and I promise to return the boys when we're done playing. Although it could be a while….

**Author's notes**: Yup. Here it finally is the actual last chapter of the story. Epilogue will be following in a day or two. And no this time there will be just the epilogue. No further chapters of Trust and Faith will be coming. Really. I mean it this time.

Thanks out to lynxlan for her fabulous bating of this story. It's been better with her input. And for all of the great reviews that have been posted – Thank you.

Oh and just a small reminder. I have basically no medical knowledge whatsoever. Need a Band-Aid for a paper cut need a sprained ankle wrapped I am so your girl. However anything outside those to items and I know nothing. The medical references in this story are how I think it might happen and what I thought worked best for the story. If you're looking for proper medical stuff you're not gonna find it here.

Now that all of that stuff is out of the way on with the story…

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Day 29**

The next morning Dean woke early to a hot throbbing from his wrist. As gently as he could he moved out from under Sammy and sat up. Moving made it hurt even more but he just clenched his jaw shut against the pain and stood up. The room tilted crazily around him and he locked his knees before he could fall with the motion. Once the room stabilized he softly padded out of the room and down the hallway. By the time he was half way to the bathroom he had gone completely pale sweating heavily, panting and his eyes were scrunched up with the pain.

Using the wall to help keep himself upright he stood in the doorway of the bathroom. He could see his pain meds sitting on the counter next to the sink. All he had to do was walk across the room which was normally an easy task. Today it was like having to cross the Grand Canyon.

"Dean?" a voice asked from behind him. "You ok?"

Dean closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to wake anyone. Suddenly his legs turned to jelly and he found himself slowly sliding down the door frame.

"Dean?" Sammy said his voice full of fear.

"S-Sammy?" Dean whispered as he felt his little brother touch his good shoulder. "Help m-me?"

"Wait," Sammy said.

Dean leaned his head against the door frame as he heard his brother run down the hall. He concentrated on breathing through the pain and despite his best intentions to be strong he felt hot tears begin to trail down his cheeks and run under his chin.

"Dean?" Jim said softly as he crouched next to the boy.

Dean flinched and his eyes bolted open only to clench shut at the new pain.

"Easy there. It's ok," Jim said soothingly. "Is it your shoulder?"

"No," Dean whispered then whimpered as he felt his wrist being moved.

"It's ok. I need to see it," Jim said softly then sighed. "Sammy I need you to stay with Dean for a minute ok?"

Dean heard the pastor move away and felt Sammy come sit next to him.

"Here," Sammy said softly as he put his small hand on his brother's good arm.

Dean's jaw was clamped too tightly together to say anything. His thoughts were a jumble with pain and he held on tightly when he felt Sammy take his hand.

"Ok Dean," Sammy said softly. "Here."

Dean would have smiled if he could have gotten past the pain. It was his job to look after Sammy and now he was the one being looked after.

"Jim coming," Sammy whispered and wrapped his other hand around the back of Dean's hand. "Ok."

Dean let another whimper get past him.

"Breathe," Sammy said. "Me."

Dean felt his hand being lifted to his chest. He felt Sammy take a deep breath in and then slowly let it out.

"Breathe," Sammy said again.

Dean tried to follow what his brother was doing. His head was pounding and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He fought through the pain to stay with his little brother. He knew Sammy was talking to him and he wanted to follow along but he couldn't seem to get past the pain.

"Dean?" Jim said softly as he knelt next to the boys again. "I'm going to unwrap the cast. I have the salve and it's going to hurt before it gets better."

Dean tried to nod, tried to tell him it was ok to just do it, tried to do something to get Pastor Jim to understand that he needed to get rid of the overwhelming pain but his body wouldn't follow his commands.

"Do it," Sammy said. "Hurting too much."

Dean felt the pastor's hand at his shoulder and he braced himself for more pain as the brace was moved away. He didn't notice the whimpers or tears now that escaped him. All he could do was fight to keep conscious.

"I've got the brace off Dean. You're being very brave. Just a little longer, ok?" Jim said softly. "Just a little longer."

All of Dean's senses were tapped into the pain that started in his wrist and burned through the rest of his body. Darkness called at him and he used all of his energy to push it away. He had to stay awake. It was too cold. He had to find help. He had to get to Sammy. "Sammy," he mumbled through his panting.

"Here Dean," Sammy said and held his brother's hand tighter against his chest. "Breathe."

"Sammy," Dean whispered feeling the racing heartbeat beneath his hand.

"Easy Dean. I've got the bandage off. We'll get the salve on and then we'll head for the doctor," Jim said softly.

"Stop," Dean whimpered. "Please."

"Dean we have to move you. It's going to hurt more if we don't do this," Jim said wincing slightly in sympathy.

"Almost done," Sammy said. He shifted slightly and kept Dean's good hand in is. With his other Sammy ran his hand through his brother's hair. "Here."

Dean felt his little brother's tight hold on his hand and the comforting motions through his hair. The salve was beginning to take hold and he started to relax. His eyes opened and he saw Pastor Jim concentrating on getting salve onto his arm. He was surprised how pale the man was. Sammy was next to him with looking at him with worried eyes and wet cheeks.

"Dean?" Sammy asked.

Dean was exhausted. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep. He wanted this all to be a bad dream and wake up in some dingy motel. He wanted his father here. "It's ok Sammy. I'm ok," he mumbled before closing his eyes again.

"Dean? Are you still in pain?" Jim asked.

"Yeah. But it's better," Dean said softly and then opened his eyes. Glancing down he saw that his arm was literally coated in salve except where he had stitches from where they put in the screws.

Jim nodded. "Don't touch your arm," he said as he got up and grabbed a towel.

Dean watched as Jim dried his hands. The man had gone from definitely freaked to on the edge of being angry. "I'm sorry?"

Jim looked down at him. "Dean you should have mentioned your arm yesterday. We would have got it re-casted then."

Dean pursed his lips as he considered his answer.

"Too much," Sammy said looking up at the pastor.

Jim looked over at him. "Yeah I guess there was, wasn't there little one?"

"It's ok now," Dean said.

Jim snorted. "Dean it's a long way from ok and you know it," he said then ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I didn't mean to," Dean started.

"Of course you didn't," Jim said as he put the towel onto the counter. "Let's get you two back to your room and I'll see if the doc can come back."

Sammy stood up quickly placing himself directly in front of the pastor. "No!"

"Sammy. Hey don't be like that. Sammy?" Dean said hoping to get his little brother's attention.

"Stop," Sammy said holding out a shaking hands towards the pastor.

"Sammy this has to be done or Dean will be in a lot of pain," Jim said. "I know this is scary but it's what's best for your brother."

"But," Sammy said looking from the pastor to his brother sitting on the floor. "Too much."

"Sammy come here," Dean said and was surprised how strong his voice was.

Sammy looked at him for a moment and then moved quickly to his side. He buried his head in his brother's good shoulder.

"Easy Sammy. Look I may not be ok right now but the doctor is the only one who can make me better," Dean said softly.

Jim looked down at the two boys sitting on the bathroom floor and was amazed at how quickly Dean had reigned in control of the situation. He had his good arm over his little brother's shoulders and was rubbing his back as he spoke quietly to him. Even this close he couldn't make out the words but the tone was soothing.

Jim left the room and quickly got dressed. He pocketed his car keys and his wallet then moved over to his bedroom phone. He called Dr. Bright and let him know that Dean had rough housed a little too much last night and needed a new cast. The doctor agreed to meet them at the clinic.

He went back to the bathroom, wrapped Dean's arm in a towel to try to keep it as stable as possible and herded the boys into his car.

The clinic's door was open when they pulled into the lot. A few moments later Jim ushered the boys into the waiting room.

The doctor came down the hallway from the exam rooms. "Hey fellas. Heard you've had a rough morning Dean. We'll get this fixed up for you quickly."

Dean nodded and then sighed as Sammy stood in front of him.

"Come on down. The x-ray machine is ready to go and I've got some pain meds ready for you," the doctor said as he gestured down the hall.

"Come on Sammy," Dean said softly.

Sammy looked unsure up at his brother then walked down the hallway.

They went into an exam room which was next to the x-ray room. Jim took a seat in the chair, Dean stood next to the exam table with Sammy next to him.

"Dean I'm going to put you up on the exam table," the doctor said as he came into the room.

Dean nodded and allowed the doctor to lift him. He couldn't help but smile slightly as Sammy lifted his arms in the universal sign for pick me up.

The doctor smiled down and picked him up placing him down gently next to his brother.

"I'm just going to pull this back," the doc said and then began to peal back the towel wrapped around the nine year old's wrist.

Dean winced slightly.

"Careful," Sammy said sternly.

Dr. Bright finished pulling off the towel and tossed it onto the counter. He glanced at his patient noting his paleness and the way he was hunching over his injury. "Ok. We'll wash this down slightly to get the excess salve off and then we'll get it x-rayed. You doing ok Dean?"

"Yeah," Dean said softly.

"All right. I'm going to give you a shot for the pain and," he started but got cut off.

"No. It's ok. I don't need it. Could we just get this done?" Dean asked.

"Dean right now it might be tolerable but once we start to clean off the salve and get you situated in the x-ray machine it's going to hurt a lot more. Are you sure?" Dr. Bright asked.

Dean looked over at Pastor Jim.

"I think it's a good idea, but ultimately the call is yours," Jim said. "You don't need to prove anything to us and you don't need to be in pain."

Dean nodded. "Ok."

Dr. Bright nodded and took a syringe that was sitting on the counter next to a vial of fluid. He loaded the syringe and placed it on the counter. He took a cotton swab and wiped away some of the salve on Dean's upper arm.

"Can you feel this?" Dr. Bright asked.

"No. Not really," Dean said softly.

The Doctor nodded. He turned away and threw out the cotton swab and took a alcohol pad off the counter. He tore open the small packet and rubbed the pad over Dean's skin.

Dean glanced over at the pastor as the Doctor turned back to the counter and reached for the syringe. He wasn't worried about the shot, he was worried that a report would be sent to social services. He didn't want to be taken away from his Dad.

"It's all right Dean," Jim said softly. "Maybe this will teach you to not rough house so much."

Dean nodded again and then abruptly stopped as the room began to tilt slightly.

Sammy took his good hand in his as he saw the doctor turn back to his big brother with the syringe.

"It's ok Sammy. I'm not afraid of getting a shot," Dean said as he glanced down at his little brother. "Hey don't look so scared. You're not getting it I am."

The doctor moved away again.

Dean looked over at the doctor and waited for him to give him the shot. Instead the doctor leaned back against the counter.

Dean frowned. "Um I don't like them either. Could you just get it over with?"

Dr. Bright smiled. "I already gave it to you. I just want to give it a minute to take hold before I start to work on your arm. I'm going to get a couple of towels so we can wash your arm. By then your arm should be pleasantly numb and you won't feel anything at all."

Jim watched the doctor leave the room. "Dean you need to tell us if something feels wrong, ok?"

"Wrong how?" Dean asked.

"Dizziness, confusion, pain, things like that. There can be side effects to pain medications," Jim said.

"Like when I passed out in your den?" Dean asked.

Jim nodded. "Exactly."

"Ok," Dean said.

The doctor returned to the room with some small towels. He took one and ran it under warm water. Ringing out most of the moisture he returned to Dean. "If you start to feel this you need to let me know, ok?"

"Yeah I will," Dean said.

The doctor made quick work to get the salve off the arm and then dried it off. He felt around the shoulder and frowned slightly. "I'll be taking x-rays of your shoulder and your wrist," he said to Dean.

Dean nodded.

"Let's get you into the x-ray room," Dr. Bright said as he lifted Dean off of the exam table and gently lowered him to his feet. "OK?"

"Yeah. It doesn't hurt at all," Dean said.

"Good," he said then turned back to Sammy. "You're next. I think you'd like to check out the x-ray room?"

Sammy nodded and let the doctor lift him down off of the exam table as well.

They left the exam room and walked two rooms down to where the x-ray room was. Dr. Bright went into the room first and went over to the machine.

"OK. Sammy here's what I'm going to do. First your brother will stand here and I'll take some pictures of his shoulder. Then I'll move him onto this bench here. He'll lie down and I'll take a picture of his hand and wrist as it rests against the bench," Dr. Bright said and then glanced over at Dean and winked at him.

Dean smiled slightly at him. He was beginning to like this guy. Sammy looked more afraid than he felt and the doctor was trying to put his little brother's fears at ease.

"So what do you think Sammy?" Dean asked.

"OK I guess," Sammy said then he nodded. "Stay."

"Well now I'm afraid that's something you can't do. But you can stand with me as I take the picture," Dr. Bright said.

"But," Sammy said then looked over at his big brother.

"Hey you'll be able to see me the entire time," Dean said and then yawned. "Sammy man I'm tired. Just stand with the doctor, ok. You can sit with me when I'm getting the cast put on, ok?"

Sammy looked like he wanted to argue but nodded instead.

"Actually Sammy why don't you come stand with me here? We should be ok here, right Dr Bright?" Pastor Jim asked.

"Yeah that would be fine," Dr. Bright said.

Sammy slowly went over and stood by Jim.

Jim put a hand on Sammy's shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. "You're looking out for him very well," Jim said softly to him.

Sammy nodded although he didn't look happy and was following the doctor's every move very closely.

Dr. Bright moved Dean to stand in front of a wall and took shots from the front, the side and from his back. He then helped him onto the bench and eased him back gently so the nine year old could lie down.

"You're doing very well. Any pain?" Dr. Bright asked as he placed Dean's hand flat against the bench.

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. "No."

"Just a bit longer," Dr. Bright said then moved the machine down slightly.

The doctor took a couple more shots and then helped Dean down from the bench.

Dean staggered slightly and closed his eyes as the floor tilted crazily beneath him.

"Easy there. Dizzy?" Dr. Bright asked.

"Yeah kinda," Dean said.

Sammy hurried over to them. "Dean?"

"Just give me a sec," Dean said softly.

Sammy looked up at the doctor as if to say do something.

Dean opened his eyes and blinked a few times as his equilibrium balanced out. "I'm ok," he said softly.

"You sure?" Jim asked.

Dean blinked at him slightly not realizing he'd come into the room. His vision was wavering slightly and he blinked a few more times to clear it.

"Dean?" Dr. Bright asked.

"Yeah. I think I just moved too fast or something," Dean said. "What now?"

"Well now I go develop the x-rays and you get to go lie down in an exam room," Dr. Bright said. "Then if there's no new damage done we'll get a new cast on you and then you can go home."

Dean nodded. The only thing he heard was he got to lie down for a little bit. He was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Jim if you'd like to take them back into the exam room?" Dr. Bright said. "Then I can start developing the x-rays."

"Sure," Jim said.

Sammy moved forward and took his brother's good arm in one of his hands. "Go," he said.

"Hey I can walk on my own," Dean said grumpily.

"No. Dizzy," Sammy said. "Fall and break something else."

"Will not," Dean argued as he allowed himself to be pulled slightly out of the room.

"Will too," Sammy shot back as he lead his brother down the hallway.

Jim chuckled as he followed the boys out of the room.

A while later Dr. Bright went into the exam room to find Dean asleep on the exam bed and Sammy sitting on the pastor's lap barely keeping his eyes open. He smiled as he gave the pastor the good news. The x-rays proved that the wrist wasn't broken and that the pins were still in place. The cast had taken the brunt of the hit and had protected the broken bones.

The Dr. Bright sighed softly and pinned Jim with a stare. "You know Jim if I didn't know better, I would have figured that this was a little more than rough housing. But knowing you as well as I do I figure you would tell me if these young ones were in any trouble."

Jim forced an easy chuckle as Sammy tensed in his lap. He wrapped his arm around him a little tighter hoping to soothe the child. "I'm sure you remember Caleb?"

Dr. Bright nodded.

"Well boys will be boys and well whenever we get together there's wrestling and hanging upside down and…" Jim paused and waived a hand slightly in the air.

"Oh let me guess. Tickle torture?" Dr. Bright said and laughed softly.

"Oh yeah," Jim said.

Dr. Bright turned serious. "Jim tell me these boys aren't in danger from their parents."

Jim looked him straight in his eyes. "These boys only have their father."

Dr. Bright watched the man in front of him carefully as he spoke.

"Their father would do anything for them. I have no question in my mind that John would never ever intentionally hurt them," he said and in his heart Jim believed every word he'd just spoken. Every person had their limits and John had run face first into his own. He'd snapped and lost all control for a few seconds. Taking his anger, grief and fear out on Sammy had stunned everyone including John. Since meeting the hunter John had never been overly demonstrative with his children, but he did care deeply for them. He believed that hunting was protecting them because he feared the demon in Sammy's room wasn't finished with his family yet and he was doing everything he could to protect them.

Dr. Bright nodded the relief clear on his face. "Ok. I'm going to go mix up the plaster and be back in a minute."

Jim nodded and watched as the man walked away then looked down as Sammy shifted against his chest.

"Taken away now?" Sammy asked sadly as he looked up at the pastor.

"No little man. No one's taking you away," Jim said softly and wrapped his arms around the five year old. "Not if I have anything to do with it."

Sammy nodded and yawned. He shifted again so he could continue to watch his big brother who hadn't woken through the adult's conversation.

"Close your eyes. I'll wake you when we're done," Jim said softly.

The five year old shook his head. "Have to watch," he said.

"I'll watch him Sammy. As soon as he needs you I'll wake you up," Jim said softly.

"But he'd watch," Sammy said softly.

Jim smiled slightly. "Yes he would. But he'd let his guard down and trust that I'd watch for him. He'd want you to sleep."

The little boy said nothing but seemed to relax under the protection of Pastor Jim. A few moments later his breathing evened out as he fell into sleep.

0000000000000

Jim found himself nodding off as well but came to full alert as Dr. Bright came into the room.

"Both tuckered out, huh?" the doc asked softly.

"Yeah. Been a long couple of days," Jim said softly pushing back the feelings of sleep. "Think you can cast that arm with Dean asleep?"

"Not asleep," Dean mumbled.

Jim grinned. "Ok. Nearly asleep?"

Dr. Bright chuckled. "No. Actually I need Dean to sit up so it can be wrapped properly. Sorry young man but I need you to wake up fully."

"Ok," Dean said but it came out sounding like a sigh. He didn't want to move. He was warm and comfortable. The only thing missing was Sammy but he knew his little brother was very close by and safe with Pastor Jim.

"Dean?" Dr. Bright asked.

"Yeah?" he said sleepily and opened his eyes glaring slightly at the harshness of the light. He blinked a few times to get used to the light.

"Do you want some help up?" Dr. Bright asked.

Dean was quiet for a moment. His shoulder was beginning to hurt some, but nothing he couldn't handle. Moving would make it hurt a lot if the past weeks had shown him anything. "Yeah."

"All right," Dr. Bright said and put his hands around the nine year old's side. As gently as he could he brought the boy up to a sitting position. "Ok?"

Dean sagged slightly. "Yeah."

"I'm going to support your wrist as much as I can while I wrap it in plaster, ok? I need you to tell me if it starts to hurt," the doc said.

"Yeah ok," Dean said and glanced over to check on his little brother. He looked sound asleep against the pastor. "He ok?"

"Yes Sammy's just fine. He's worried about you," Jim said softly.

Dean nodded and looked back to his arm as the doctor wrapped his arm in gauze.

"This is the first step. I'll finish wrapping a layer of gauze around this area first and then the plaster cast will stick to that instead of your skin," Dr. Bright said.

Dean nodded and watched as the doctor finished that. Then the white plaster gauze began to be wrapped around his hand and wrist. The doctor had the cast starting at the base of his fingers and it went almost up to his elbow. He frowned. The last cast was shorter and this one was already beginning to feel heavier.

"It's longer and will give more protection. If you're going to rough house, and trust me you will in the next little while, it will be more durable for you. You'll get used to the weight," Dr. Bright said.

Dean nodded. "Ok," he said softly.

"It will still fit into the sling. You'll need to continue to wear that for a while longer as well. I'll be stopping in at Jim's to check on Jesse in a couple of days and I'll be checking on you at the same time," Dr. Bright said. "If all goes well you can be out of that sling in a couple of weeks."

"Couple of weeks?" Dean repeated.

Dr. Bright chucked. "It'll be over before you know it."

0000000000000

An hour or so later the cast had set and was dry enough that the Dr. was giving them the green light to go home.

"Sammy I'm going to need your help," Dr. Bright said.

Sammy nodded seriously back at the doctor.

"I need you to make sure your big brother is taking his pain medication and twice a day he needs to put ice and then heat on his shoulder. If Jim doesn't have a heating pad then a towel with really hot water would do the trick. And Dean is not to let the arm out of the sling unless it was being iced, heated or in the shower. Most importantly make sure he's getting the salve massaged into his shoulder and upper arm at least three times per day. Now you can't apply the salve, but I need you to make sure Jim's doing that three times a day," Dr. Bright said and then glanced up at the pastor.

"Think you can help me to remember Sammy?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Sammy said solemnly.

"Hey I can remember to get all that stuff done," Dean groused. "I'm right here you know."

Sammy looked up at his brother still sitting on the exam bench and shook his head. "Not remember before."

Dean glared down at his little brother. "Didn't need it before."

The adults chuckled as Sammy replied. "Did too."


	35. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine… Well anything you recognize is not mine. Sigh. I just borrowed the Winchesters and their merry band of hunters for a while to play with and I'm not letting them go yet...

**Author's Notes: **Thanks out to lynxlan for betaing this entire monster as well as all of my other fics. They are much better after her review.

This is it! The final chapter. The end of Trust and Faith. It almost makes me want to cry… But I have more fanfics on the way. Thanks for sticking with me through out the journey of Dean's first hunt. The reviews were amazing and the support outstanding. And for the non-reviewers thanks for reading!

Also be sure to check out my profile as I always keep a running summary of what's being worked on.

**Trust and Faith**

**By infinite shadow**

**Epilogue**

Over the next few daysSammy started to speak in complete sentences. At first Dean was thrilled that his little brother was talking a lot. But to his total chagrin Sammy was constantly on him about using ice and heat, or having the salve massaged into his shoulder or taking his pain medications. It wasn't long before Dean had a headache from his little brother's constant babbling. Truth be told Dean really didn't mind. He'd far rather hear the rambling words than the screaming silence.

Every night Dean would read a few chapters to Sammy before bed. As they had yet to make it to school Dean began to use the Hardy Boys books to teach his little brother how to read. A decision he almost regretted. Sammy's conversations were now filled with Hardy Boys references as he had decided that he and Dean were just like the two mystery solvers except their family fought the supernatural instead.

True to his word John called every night to check up on his sons. He had Dean fill him in about his visit to the doctor and as he listened he berated himself silently for being the cause of his son's injury. First he'd slammed Dean into the wall and then he'd physically hit Sammy. His actions had the older hunter wanting to throw up and he hated himself more every minute. Not only was he disgusted at his loss of control but he knew how disappointed Mary would have been with him. At first he wondered if he should even return to his sons. After all they were in much better hands with pastor Jim but he couldn't stop thinking about them. He couldn't wait to get back to them and find a way to make up for his behavior over the past few weeks.

John and Caleb switched off driving but even doing that it took them well over a day to get to their hunt. After getting a motel and sleeping for a few hours they prepared their weapons and headed out. Several hours, and numerous cuts and bruises, later they had got rid of the three poltergeists that were terrorizing a young family.

When they finally stumbled back to their motel room Caleb sat John down and tended to the older hunter's wounds. John ended up with a sprained ankle, and needed stitches on his abdomen from where'd he'd been sliced up at some point during the fight from the angry spirit. Caleb admitted to seeing double after he'd finished with his sewing. John found a deep gash and bruising at the back of the teen's head. While it didn't need stitching it would give the young man trouble for a few days.

As anxious as John was to get back to his boys they stayed in the motel that night to recoup a little before getting back on the road. Due to his sprained ankle John could only drive for a few hours before having to stop and get it iced. He wouldn't admit to the discomfort in his foot to Caleb, just had the young man get ice from the stores that they stopped at.

Later that evening after driving only a couple hundred miles they stopped and checked into a motel. John had called Jim's and spoken to his boys. He gave the light details of the hunt to his children and then told Jim everything. He'd asked about Jesse and was told he was staying awake and his wounds were healing really well. As soon as the boys had finished speaking to their father they had gone to play cards with him.

Dean was relieved that his father had kept his promise about calling them. He'd known that their father had sugar coated his injuries and the boy knew it was done to keep his worrying them to a minimum. He was just happy that his father was coming home and he smiled as he glanced down at his cards.

"Hey you gonna day dream all day Runt or are you gonna play?" Jesse asked.

Dean raised his right eyebrow at the mocking words. He looked the hunter across the table from him and saw the grin the man favoured him with. Jesse had improved a lot which had Dean feeling much better about the entire hunt. He smiled wide as he put down his cards - Full House Aces high.

And it was going to be a full house. His father was coming home.

0000000000000

In the middle of nowhere on the side of a mountain the wind howled and a feather like snow fell. The fresh snow swirled, almost in a playful dance, before settling on the frozen ground. A white bear like creature stood upright in the front of a dark cave and closed it's eyes as the wind ran it's cold fingers through the hair that covered the length of her body.

The beast sniffed at the air as it held a paw-like arm around her middle where pain radiated. She was hunched over slightly and abrasions could be seen all over her body.

Another noise, not that much different than the wind, came from within the cave and the snow beast looked back into the darkness. Another snow beast, this one slightly greyer in colour, appeared out of the darkness and stood next to her. With one final sniff of the cold fresh air the white beast turned with a small grunt and limped into the cave followed closely by her mate.

Slowly, using the side of the cave wall for support, it moved into the back of the cave. It stood at the entry way of the sleeping room and the greyer of the two beasts helped his mate to the bedding in the corner of the room. The greyish beast waited for his mate to lie down and then placed a paw gently over her middle and growled softly, almost soothingly.

The white beast howled softly before closing it's eyes and going to sleep.

The greyish beast looked over it's shoulder to the corner of the room where one of their brethren lay. It hadn't moved since he'd found it at the base of the mountain. The gaping wound in the middle of it's forehead hadn't let him wake.

The greyish snow monster moved out of the sleeping room and made his way to the entrance of the cave. He howled loudly, screaming his vengeance to the frozen wilderness that surrounded the mountain. He hadn't seen the monsters that had hurt his own but he'd never forget the smell of the ones that hurt his mate. Their smell was everywhere and it was burned into his memory. He would get his revenge if it was the last thing he did.

The End…Or is it?


End file.
